I’ve gushed about Portuguese footballer bodybeautiful Cristiano Ronaldo before. His thick, vascular legs are built for nothing if not for an oil wrestling match up featuring some doomed hopeful getting his skull crushed between them. Now Nike has an interesting behind the scenes montage featuring Cristiano in the locker room. It’s not nearly as salacious as it might sound, but his swagger as he makes his way through his world is sweetly cocky. This looks like a man who believes every worshipful word written about him. Which reminds me: Cristiano Ronaldo will truly become a superstar only once he shows up for a wrestling match with me in my backyard (there, it’s written… he must believe it).
Since I believe everything in writing, also, I must believe the report from the New York Post that Cristiano was fuming at Vanity Fair for forcing him to share his underwear-only cover with Ivory Coast rival football hottie, Didier Drogba. Considering the Ivory Coast/Portugal World Cup opener ended in a 0-0 tie, I smell an All-Star hardbody fued that will surely only be settled in a private jock strap match in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.
