Mark Feuerstein works for me. Yes, yes, and yes. I’ve had my eye on this man from the moment he walked on Caroline in the City. Like a lucky penny, I was so happy that he turned up in Practical Magic. I was thrilled to see him anchor his own comedy as Conrad Bloom. He was the bisexual judge on Ally McBeal who I’d so be willing to do, without too much cringing at the thought of him also doing women. I was pulling so damn hard for him on Good Morning, Miami. Now he’s in Royal Pains, and I’m happy once again to see his talent and beauty back on the air.
Honestly, it’s his ass. The rest of him earns him the place as one of the 50 most beautiful people, sure. But it’s his ass the earns him the spot as the object of my lust. He has the roundest ass a white boy can have. I find myself cheering out loud when he turns his back to the camera (really, I do… it’s like when the home team scores a touchdown).
Mark’s ass also earned him an appearance in my homoerotic wrestling fantasies. The fact that he was a high school wrestler puts him up and over the top, so when he arrived in the Producer’s Ring for a battle to the career finish with Dan Futterman, it had to get up close and personal. It won’t surprise you to learn that Mark’s ass single-handedly (?) snaps victory from the jaws of defeat in this competition.
He’s persistent. He’s smoking hot. He’s got great timing. Did I mention his ass? He has one of my top 5 favorite asses of all time. Damn, I’m hot for a hunky Jewish doctor who makes house calls.
Sidelineland 