Being the egocentric narcissist I am, I assume everyone must agree with me that Rusty Stevens is homoerotic wrestling pornboy #1. When comments to the contrary pop up, such as some comments slighting Rusty’s wrestling skills, I’m momentarily emotionally gobsmacked.
As I sit with the paradox of anyone with a bad thing to say about my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy, the truth slowly sinks through my initial defensiveness. Of course there will be people who completely disagree with my estimation of the wonders and joys of Rusty. The great thing about tastes is that they vary. The skills that I value most may not be at all what turns the crank or sells the goods to the kinkster sitting (virtually) next to me.
Rather than debate the points and try to force a concession out of those who disagree with me (as hot as that sounds), I’ll just reiterate why it is that Rusty has a vice-like grip on my #1 homoerotic wrestling pornboy ranking (and my cock).
First of all, Rusty is a beautiful man. While that is far from sufficient, it’s essential to turn my crank. We may quibble about beauty. You may like them hairier or beefier or twinkier or darker-skinned or taller or shorter or more muscular or less muscular… That’s all fine with me. For what inspires me to pull out my wallet and contribute to the homoerotic wrestling industry, Rusty is an entirely gorgeous man. He takes a hot picture, which is probably more of a skill than most of us would give credit. He moves even sexier. He preens and struts and poses fantastically, which speaks of an erotic, self-possessed, cocky-son-‘a-bitch hotness that might come naturally, but I suspect bespeaks of a highly skilled performer.
Regarding Rusty’s wrestling skills in particular, I find him quite accomplished. I’ve seen my share of flat-footed, thick-headed, slow-as-sloths and entirely unimaginative performers step onto the mats and into the ring. Rusty is hardly someone who makes his opponents sell for two. On NakedKombat, he boasts some muay thai and jiujitsu training, which could be 100% bullshit, but I think he shows a focus and command of human joints and the ways in which they don’t bend that makes me buy that he’s got at least some passing experience in grappling. A serious MMA boy is hardly the skill set required to turn my crank, though. The skills that work for me, and Rusty is most certainly working for me, include the ability to pace a match, to apply a convincing hold, to transition from hold to hold, from offense to defense and back again, with smooth speed that crafts a story of a serious back-and-forth battle of bodies. Further, Rusty sells a delight to dominate, humiliate and rub his opponent’s face in his physical superiority (not to mention rubbing his opponent’s face in his crotch, ass, pit, feet….). Rusty’s most developed skill for what sells me is his quick wit. He translates the body-on-body story into a battle of wills. He pushes buttons and gets his buttons pushed. His banter ups the hotness of a match exponentially for me.
Finally, what I particularly appreciate about Rusty’s challenge match with former champion homoeroetic wrestling pornboy (of my heart) Mitch Colby, is Rusty’s ability to sell suffering. I think that was a major blind spot for what I’ve seen of Rusty’s work with Can-Am, and NakedKombat just isn’t a context for the long suffering sell. So I’m ecstatic (and a little worn out) from enjoying Rusty’s salesmanship getting hammered, squeezed, pounded and tossed at the hands of Mitch. Let’s face it, if it were just MMA skills I was hot for, I’d be yammering on and on about UFC meat. Those fighters typically leave me a little uninspired, though, because what turns my crank isn’t just the competition, but the eroticized competition that exploits the seduction of pain, humiliation, domination and ownership.
So you almost certainly have a whole different skill set in mind when you rank your favorite wrestlers. That’s no sweat to me. If you really want to throw down in a no-holds-barred match until one of us screams in submission, fair enough. Just like Rusty, I’ll ride you like a pony and put you away wet. But if you’re okay with celebrating the diversity of tastes that make our kink-filled world wonderful, let’s just appreciate the view.
Sidelineland 