I’ve seen a lot of chatter about the probably-ill-advised off-handed joke from Brian Williams that his penis is so huge that he can’t wear flat-front pants. Although I have a well-documented newsboy fetish, Brian doesn’t really quite do it for me. Still, I like this whole train of thought. Long before Brian’s interview, I’d already spent a whole lot of time imagining what some of my favorite newsboys might be packing underneath their cinched ties and navy blue suits. Just to tally the stats from my strip-wrestling fantasies, I imagine that Thomas Roberts is notably long; Chris Cuomo is thick with massive balls; Carter Evans is long and keeps everything shaved and tidy; and Rob Marciano is another thick Italian who manscapes only conservatively. Bill Hemmer is short and stubby, but that’s the least of his problems. For the record, I’m a fan of cocks in a variety of shapes and sizes… except for Bill Hemmer. Wouldn’t touch that with a 10-foot pole.
Anyhow… once again I feel the need to call out another ABC news hunk. Jeremy Hubbard caught my eye this morning filling in as the newsreader. He must be around 37 years old, and it looks like he used to carry a bit more weight at one time than he does now. For my purposes, I’m going to call him “fighting trim.” It suits him well.
The perpetual upturn at the innermost point of his right eyebrow is seriously adorable. There’s something boyish at him, with a “who… me?” false innocence permanently plastered on his face. If that doesn’t translate into the wrestling ring, what does!?
And he’s an alpha dog, which exponentiates his hotness. And if I’m not mistaken, that’s a terrier he’s with, which doubles his already exponentiated hotness. His look doesn’t quit grab be by the genitals the way that Chris or fellow rookie, Matt Gutman does. But as we all know, superior looks are far from what counts the most in the ring. Watch out, News Division. Someone’s got a date with a skinny white boy rookie!
Sidelineland 