As I mentioned in my last post, my goals for myself at Wrestlefest Canada could be summed up this way: 1) learn more about how to wrestle, and 2) explore what I like and don’t like with an open mind. Right out of the gate, group matches (which a big gathering like Wrestlefest lends itself to) were an awesome way tackle goal #2. Groups were also an intense, fun learning experience, but they weren’t as well suited to really learning mechanics. With goal #1 in mind, I sought out some experienced veterans of meet-up wrestling for 1:1 matches. I was upfront with them about my lack of experience, counterbalanced by my vast enthusiasm for wrestling and learning. And those 1:1 (mis)matches were sensational in helping me make quality progress toward learning more about how to wrestle.

I’ve seen the advice often for MeetFighters newbies to start by looking for guys with a lot of experience and good recommendations. At Wrestlefest Canada, I had 1:1 matches with three MF veterans that were AWESOME opportunities to learn and explore. Between the three of these guys, they have a combined total of more than 1,270 MF opponents (not a typo; that’s 1,270!!!)! They also have hundreds of recommendations from past opponents offering testimony that was helpful for me in knowing what to expect from each of them. To varying degrees, I’d interacted with all three of them ahead of time, so that by the time we met for 1:1 matches, we had pretty clear expectations and a plan for how to have fun and use our time well. All of them were generous coaches, sharing pointers, teaching holds, and being game to let a messy rookie give it a go with them. I bumped into a few super-newbies (even newer than me!) at social events at WF, including guys who had never indulged their longstanding interest in erotic wrestling up until this weekend (and I think they deserve trophies for showing up and joining in on the WF fun!). I heard a few of them say that they wished there’d been some wrestling demonstrations or formal coaching sessions at WF to help them dip their foot in the pool. Maybe future WFs might want to consider something like that, but in the meantime, if you’re ready to take the plunge for the first time, look for nearby guys with a lot of matches over at least a few years. Read their recommendations (some of the recommendations will be more detailed and transparent than others, so read several). And read their profiles to see if their interests seem to line up with yours. Some of them will be really clear that they welcome inexperienced opponents (and some explicitly don’t welcome newbies). Get the info you need and make good choices for yourself.

I made some AWESOME choices in opponents to learn from, if I do say so myself. My first match was with Txwresl, who has 259 credited matches and has the fifth most recommendations of any wrestler on MF. We messaged and talked on the phone several times before WF, so I felt a lot of trust and rapport by the time we were facing each other. We laughed, grunted, and sweated a whole lot. Txwresl showed me a half dozen specific holds and moves, including some counters and escapes. Things hurt, but never in a way that felt dangerous. It was a fun mix of practice and play, with some great philosophy thrown in about negotiating matches and navigating the diversity of wrestlers, bodies, skills and interests of those looking for meet-up wrestling. I enjoyed the tips and notes, and the playfully hot body contact, and his awesome, strong pecs. It was thoroughly fun, and I enjoyed going out to dinner with him afterward and sharing our respective journeys through wrestling. By the time we were both at the “upperclassmen” group meet up later in the week, it felt like I was hanging out with an old friend. And, like an old friend, he pulled me out of my shell at that group and got me on the mat for what turned out to be sensational fun!

My second 1:1 opponent goes by Mattz4fun, and he’s ranked 3rd for having the most past opponents on MF (currently 563, but that number keeps going up by the hour!). My session with Mattz4fun was mostly serious coaching. He walked me through some really important lessons in logistics (like, put pillows over any nearby sharp corners, if you’re wrestling on a hotel bed), and talked me through the mechanics and some anatomy and physiology of wrestling holds. It was super cerebral, honestly, which, it may come as little surprise to learn, I was totally into. I felt like I was learning chess, starting with how the pieces move, and advancing so far as to just begin to consider game strategy. Mattz4fun is wicked hot, so it says a lot that I spent a good 75% of the time zoomed in on the lessons and not his pecs and abs (10% each for those, and the remaining 5% of my attention on his ass). He shared with me that he’d talked with a few wrestlers who mentioned plans on meeting up with me in 1:1 or group matches this week. I asked him if the talk included cursing my name (me trying to make a joke). Maybe they’ll be cursing your name after you kick their butts, he said. Holy fuck, now that’s coach!!!

My last veteran 1:1 happened organically after I met SeattleFight at a group match on Friday morning (see details from my last post). SeattleFight has the 4th most past opponents on MF (454, right after Mattz4fun). This guy is handsome as hell, with a stare that stops me in my tracks and immediately turns me on. Literally, we were at a couple of different large group meet ups, and fuck, he’d just look at me and all I could do was mutter out loud, “Fuck.” I overheard MadeinCanada, who hosted the Friday morning group, refer to SeattleFight as “one of the beasts,” and, indeed, he’s fierce on the mats. I watched him scrap with seriously skilled wrestlers with boatloads of experience, and he’s got this gravitational pull that just sucks pretty much everyone into his crushing bearhug. Huge fucking arms. Mountainous pecs. Yep, if he wrestled for a company (he doesn’t) I’d be shelling out cash hand over fist to get off on watching him wrestle. But no, not at Wrestlefest Canada. Everytime I’d lose myself watching him grunt and flex and tractor beam opponents into his clutches in groups, he’d catch my eye, smile slyly, and call me over with a crook of his finger. And despite knowing he could crush me like a bug on a windshield, it’s not like I was going to say no!

After that group match where we first met, I was back at my room, planning on resting and recuperating, when SeattleFight messaged me to tell me that we needed a 1:1. See my comments above about my inability (aka, total lack of interest in) saying no to this handsome hunk. And then after the upperclassmen group, we had yet another round, because I couldn’t get enough of him. And, holy hell, it turns out he couldn’t get enough of me! Like, fuck, I loved that discovery of mutual attraction and keen interest in scrapping again and again. Unlike my first two 1:1 opponents, I had absolutely no interest in taking notes or practicing mechanics. This was not cerebraI , and most definitely not a chess match. It was visceral and totally embodied. I just wanted to roll, squeeze, be squeezed, and experience this muscle beast as best I could. Yeah, I’d seen what he could do to wrestlers with a ton of experience and considerably more muscle than I have. If this were competitive, it would’ve been over in under 30 seconds (and that’s being generous with myself). But it wasn’t, and neither of us wanted it to be. I learned lessons from SeattleFight, but not exactly the ones I’d expected to learn. My matches with him were intense and fun, hot and sweaty, exhausting and exhilarating, and they left me feeling powerful, confident, aggressive and attractive. It’s not like I “won” our matches, but it’s also not like we were keeping score. I walked away every time feeling more like the person I want to be, and distracted less by the insecurities and uncertainties that too often hold me back (not just in wrestling).

Now that I’m home again, my well-earned bruises are fading. Routine obligations are walking me through my day totally divorced from who I am as a wrestler turned on by wrestling. But I’m not the same person I was before Wrestlefest Canada. And I’m glad for that. I’m grateful for all of the outstanding, sincere, gorgeous, hot and fierce hunks I had the pleasure to meet in Toronto, including the ones I had the distinct pleasure to wrestle. I wish I could have met more guys and had the stamina to wrestle more. Hell, I wish I’d been doing this a long time ago. But no regrets. I’m grateful for all that I learned at Wrestlefest Canada, about wrestling, about navigating meet-up wrestling, and especially what I learned about myself.