Bruno – Sidelineland

Priceless

August 28, 2025 wrestlebard2 Comments

Bruno from AbsArt released a video almost exactly a month ago announcing the launch of his own channel on Watchfighters, Bruno Extra. Bruno says that he plans “to go bigger and harder” there, sharing “more spicy content,” although he assures us that he’ll happily continue working with the AbsArt team as well. There’s definitely a demure edge to AbsArt. I mean, it’s sexy as fuck and fits entirely within the boundaries of erotic content that turns me on. The creativity and production quality at AbsArt continue to make it a standout in homoerotic content as far as I’m concerned. I haven’t watched even a small fraction of the (holy shit) over 1,400 videos they’ve posted to date, but their brand is about insanely hot bodies with world class, sculpted abdominal muscles getting punished. I’ve primarily sampled their wrestling-featured content, a bit of their muscle worship fare, and just little of their all-in scenario-based fantasies set in the world of soldiers, spies, and organized crime. They showcase their mind blowing fitness physiques with the eye of someone who knows exactly what turns me on, displaying nearly every inch of oiled up muscle on their top shelf talent. Nearly every inch. There are just a few inches that don’t seem to make it into the otherwise boundlessly creative homoerotic fare at AbsArt. Bruno Extra offers to uncover those last impressive inches for us.

The price point on Bruno Extra videos jumps a lot more than the Euros-per-minute rates of AbsArt and more than most of the homoerotic content I buy. Honestly, as instantly hungry I was for seeing Bruno (and friends) in truly all of their glory, I debated back and forth the price tag that includes a fully-monty mark-up. I actually rewatched Bruno’s intensely sexy wrestling match against Armin for AbsArt a few times again before concluding just how much I wanted to see what those minuscule yellow briefs of Bruno’s barely managed to cover. Finally unable to resist any longer, I pulled out my wallet, among other things, and slapped down the cash to own a bigger, harder, and spicier look at the phenomenal talent of Bruno.

What the title of “Bruno – creepy owner lurks and attacks in rented apartment – cum” lacks in finesse, it makes up for in truth-in-advertising. The plot centers on Bruno renting an Airbnb apartment from “creepy owner” Andrew. What makes Andrew creepy is that he has hidden cameras in his apartment that he uses to watch an unsuspecting Bruno. Whatever reluctance I might have to buy into the genuinely creepy pretense disappears when Andrew shows up in the video with his phone in one hand, watching Bruno over the hidden cameras, and Andrew’s cock in his other hand pounding one out. I’m not sure how I feel about the “creep” in this story literally saying what I’m thinking as he marvels at Bruno’s magnificent physique and he jerks on his thick joystick. “Some nice fucking muscles right there,” Andrew purrs with this Bond villain accent that, on its own, could probably get me off. “Look at that,” Andrew marvels as Bruno strips to underwear and gets in a light workout in the living room, “getting real pumped up with those push-ups!” Andrew starts stroking faster when Bruno makes to tug off his underwear. “Yes! Take of your fucking pants,” the creepy landlord channels exactly what I’m thinking (again, I’m not sure how I should feel about that). “Yeah, good boy,” Andrew says breathlessly as he watches/we watch exactly what Bruno was referring to in terms of “spicier content.”

I’ve mentioned a few times recently the curious value-added for me to shower scenes. So, imagine my pleasure when Bruno takes a long, slow, soapy shower that makes me melt. And talk about fucking inches… fuck, Bruno’s cock is nothing short of a work of art! There’s no angle, no feature, no detail from head to toe on him that is anything short of physical perfection. I was already solidly a fanboy, but, holy fuck, I am in awe of what must be incredible genetics, phenomenal conditioning, and likely a touch of divine intervention to craft a man this beautiful. And that’s without me mentioning what I’ve referred to before as his “luscious, sweet-as-honey ass.” Fuck, yes.

The plot device to this scenario hinges on Bruno being carelessly messy, and owner Andrew possibly having a stitch of OCD. The potato chips all over the couch and the dirty dishes and half eaten food Bruno leaves on the table interrupt Andrew’s jerk off session watching on from his hidden camera. In what could be considered an overreaction, he pulls out a handgun, strips to a red thong, and sneaks back into the apartment once Bruno is asleep to teach the hard-bodied cherub a lesson. The final 2/3rds of the video is the curiously intense confrontation between Andrew and Bruno, with neat-freak Andrew equally torn between wanting to punish the messy young renter and wanting to possess him. That’s really where I know that I’m definitely NOT like creepy lurker Andrew, after all. I’m solely here for the possession. Bruno can be as messy as he wants, as far as I’m concerned.

There are some hot beats as Bruno awakes to the terror of being held at gun point by the hungry apartment owner. Andrew makes Bruno flex for him. Andrew peels Bruno’s underwear off of him. He climbs into bed with him and strokes and strums Bruno’s rocking hot body and pounds his six-pack abs. He orders Bruno at gun point to go to the living room so he can tie the indignant, gorgeously naked hunk to a chair and pour baby oil over his body. Apparently, Andrew’s OCD doesn’t preclude his upholstered chair getting baby oil on it. Or cum.

As I mentioned, I was swooning over Bruno’s magnificent cock already, but it still took me by surprise just how stunningly beautiful it is when he’s oiled up and stroking himself hard. I catch myself holding my breath as Bruno beats himself off, awed by just how gorgeous he is, how gorgeous this moment is, how beautiful it is to get to enjoy an all access pass to Bruno’s extras. I don’t know if Bruno learned to be any neater the next time he rents an Airbnb (perversely, I hope not). I’d loved to have seen just a bit more of Andrew, to be honest, because the glimpses we get of his hugely muscled glutes free ranging in that tiny red thong strike such a hot compliment to Bruno’s carved marble physique. I get how the lack of consent in the scenario is value added for a lot of fans, but strictly speaking, it doesn’t actually add anything to what’s turning me on. Also, the gun play is a bit distracting for me, as I live in a country with out-of-control gun violence slapping me in the face daily. But all of those notes are honestly secondary to the biggest takeaway for me from this video.

What I’m left with, after I’ve toweled off and re-hydrated, are a lot of thoughts about eroticism, nakedness, and porn. To be clear, this video is soft core, but sure, it’s art that emerges from the market demand for sexually gratifying content (as IG called it when they recently censored a recent GIF I tried to post of guys spanking, before banning me for three days for the offense). There is a pendulum swing toward prudishness sweeping a whole lot of public discourse these days. Adult content laws are being passed under the pretense of “protecting children,” while clearly intending to stifle the artistic expression of the erotic as something presumed to be shameful for everyone. It’s patently ideologically-driven and cynical, often championed by the same people who, when their party isn’t in power, will lament the “nanny state” and government overreach into the personal lives and decisions of autonomous adults. It’s a flashback to Augustinian morality in which the physical body and its pleasure are lashed to pseudo-religious shame, valorizing self-denial as virtuous and the experience of corporal pleasure (not to mention the pursuit of the experience of corporal pleasure) as inherently subhuman.

I have no expertise in marketing, but I have to guess that the Bruno Extra team would net more from a lower price point. I feel like I have a little expertise as a long-time observer and commenter on the homoerotic wrestling market to be able to say that I’m certain there are a lot more Bruno fans out there who’d love to watch this video than can come close to affording it. But on the other hand, as I think about existential threats to artistic eroticism, and particularly threats to the availability of homoerotic content, I’m left wondering what it’s worth at this particular moment in history. What’s for sale at Bruno Extra is gorgeous and arousing and a stunning exploration of the aesthetics of beautiful bodies and the power those bodies have to evoke pleasure, particularly in the hands of talented and creative folks like the team behind Bruno Extra. I don’t know who can or can’t afford it, but I’m left pretty convinced that it’s priceless.

Wardrobe Function

November 27, 2024 wrestlebardLeave a comment

After my first review of an Abs Art wrestling video, I had a couple of different folks recommend that I take a look at their boy Bruno in action. Honestly, I’m so fucking infatuated with Mario, I thought curly haired pretty boy Bruno might be too baby faced, too boyishly pretty by comparison. But I finally took the plunge and watched one of a few wrestling matches in which achingly angelic-looking Bruno squares off against solid as fuck Armin in their “Legends Long Awaited” mat match. And, fuck, this is why we have wrestling buddies who give us recommendations, right? Sweet fuck, this is an insanely hot match!

I’m tickled at how personality-forward this 22 minute scene is. Mop-headed Bruno is doing sit ups (of course), showing off his incredibly ripped body and the requisite signature focus on the abs of Abs Art. He’s an anatomy chart, sporting a infinitesimal percentage body fat that makes me just a little concerned for his health. I swear, seeing him there, eyeing big, hunky Armin when the bearded, tatted muscle man walks in, I’m wondering if this kid can actually defend himself. He’s just so fucking pristinely pretty. Armin must be wondering the same thing, as he circles Bruno and picks up a dumbbell. Armin’s got a sly grin on his face, sort of hungry and mischievous, as he puts down the dumbbell and kicks it, making it roll over and bump into Bruno mid-sit-up. Bruno chews him out, snapping threateningly, before going back to more sit-ups for us to eye fuck his hot bod. When the dumbbell gets sent rolling into him again, he sits up and snarls, looking seriously like a delicate kid with newly minted muscles trying his best to sound tough. When Bruno then starts doing push ups, a couple of things happen. The most explicit thing that happens is Armin taps him on the back, and then pours a bottle of water on the back of Bruno’s head, and the mat scrap commences.

The other thing that’s happening when Bruno is doing push ups is we’re getting our first glimpse of the star of the show, namely, Bruno’s luscious, sweet-as-honey ass nowhere near being contained in those magical yellow microbriefs. Whoever does wardrobe over at Abs Art deserves a fucking Academy Award for those tiny yellow trunks. I mean, literally they are fucking magical. Because the grappling is sensationally intense, back and forth and looking like the boys are seriously working hard, and somehow, impossibly, those yellow trunks manage to stay on Bruno’s deliciously perky ass. Seriously, we’re never getting an actual view of his asshole, which I’d bet money is also ridiculously pretty. Yet, somehow, those Harry-Potter-Fucking microbriefs leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. I’m spending almost the entire 20 minutes holding my breath, wondering if Bruno’s extreme exertions are going to make his trunks slide all the way down his ass (they don’t), but also marveling at how completely naked he can look while technically still clothed. Fuck, Oscar-worthy costuming!

I really don’t know what to expect of the wrestling as the confrontation begins to play out. Armin’s bigger and the obvious aggressor. He’s openly picked this fight, and I’m entirely convinced it is, at least in part, due to his interest in seeing what happens to Bruno’s trunks. He’s mean and taunting, wanting to claim this all-to-pretty muscle boy. At one point, he’s got a side headlock on Bruno, and he literally gives the kid a noogie. Total big brother hazing vibes, and he’s got the incredibly hot bod and obvious hunger to dominate Bruno that makes me think he’s probably the odds on favorite. I’d be gushing about Armin’s meaty ass in that sexy, skimpy red speedo, if it weren’t for the honest-to-the-wrestling-gods magic of Bruno’s microbrief stealing the fucking show.

Thing is, though, that although all the classic elements (size, tats, beard, aggression) signal that Armin is here to heel the boy, Bruno is a seriously tough, fierce, and wily scrapper who gives back everything Armin dishes out with interest. I’m a full halfway through this match when it dawns on me: Bruno’s a fucking honey trap! The curly-haired cherub legitimately is too pretty, and maybe, just maybe, he keeps up those appearances in order to attract beautiful bearded bullies like Armin, thinking his sensationally fine ass would be easy pickings. Bruno is most definitely NOT easy pickings. He takes a ton of punishment, and he’s got to be doing far more than his share of the work muscling the bigger man around, but no shit, Bruno just keeps countering, climbing on top, and literally throttling Armin’s throat with his bare hands. What was I saying earlier about Armin being the “obvious aggressor?” Holy fuck, the primal rage/hunger on Bruno’s babiest face is intensely hot to watch!

It’s a back and forth 22 minutes, and I love the delicate balance of advantage trading hands in this captivating way that cranks up the anticipation. 15 minutes earlier, and I was going to put money on Armin wiping the floor with Bruno, but down the homestretch, I have absolutely no idea who’s going to eek out the victory. But I am totally convinced that it’s going to be decisive, and I am not disappointed (to say the least). There’s heat and ego and snarling contempt heaped on when the victory is won, and every single second of this confrontation, starting well before the grappling started, makes the victorious taunting and threats feel totally legit.

Holding my suspense for a solid 20 minutes, keeping me guessing and totally aroused the entire time, is something I don’t come across every day. Incredibly hot bodies, delightfully compelling characters, and lovely, intense, hard fought back-and-forth wrestling make this a winner for me. But it’s those fucking magical yellow microbriefs that keep me coming back to replay this one over and over again, never walking away unsatisfied.

Fuck, that was hot!

Trunk Pull Tuesday

May 19, 2020May 18, 2020 wrestlebard6 Comments

When I decided to resurrect the blog here, I thought about what I enjoyed most about the exercise. I’m planning on leaning into the pleasure, in the interest of maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship with the task of putting my homoerotic wrestling thoughts into text. As a result, you can count on seeing more wrestling fiction, more guessing games, and, yes, I strongly suspect you’ll find me obsessing about hot news boys. One of the countless little value added elements to homoerotic wrestling for me is a hearty yank on an opponent’s trunks, and thus the tradition of Trunk Pull Tuesday.

0223_lg — In BGE’s Hunkbash 5, Dante gave Brad’s a tug

I’d go so far as to suggest that trunk pulls were one of the first subtle elements in professional wrestling to ignite my homoerotic imagination. Ostensibly, a wrestler grabs his opponent’s trunks for leverage. With next to nothing else adorning the wrestling body, a wrestler uses the trunks as a handle to snap that snap mare, to drag him into motion in order to pound him that much harder with a fist, or a knee, or a clothesline.

scraptrunkpull — Dax Carter tries to rip Scrappy McNair apart at the seams for Muscleboy Wrestling.

Of course, that’s not the only thing I saw, as a kid growing up watching hot bodied hunks wrestling on television. I saw alluring glimpses of skin and tan lines normally discretely covered by modest patches of fabric. There was a fleeting view of a little more ass cheek, a tantalizing flash of lower abdomen, implicitly drawing attention away from the wrestling text and toward the erotic subtext just beneath the surface.

bruno — Bruno the Beast is feeling what I’m feeling yanking on Steve Tanner’s for Muscleboy Wrestling.

It remains a particularly titillating element in homoerotic wrestling, as far as I’m concerned, when, wrestling for gay eyes, a grappler yanks on his opponent’s trunks. Even when it isn’t prelude to stripping gear off entirely, it automatically bridges the narrative of combat and the story of sexual arousal. There’s still a third layer of eroticism for me when I can tell the puller gets it, that he knows how sexy this is, that he is, like I am, turned on not just by the competition for falls, not just the pleasure of spoiling a ripped opponent’s modesty, but that he feels the gravitational pull of the whole thing drawing him, and his opponent, and his audience into an explicit story of sexual attraction with the turbo boost of wrestling for erotic position.

gabriel — Gabriel Cross cannot wait to unwrap Ian Levine forMuscleboy Wrestling.

The driving momentum of all those homoerotic wrestling punches and headlocks and spladles and scissors is heading toward a story centered on what happens in the geography underneath the trunks. There are endless recipes involving various quantities of aggression, narcissism, brutality, contempt, competition, ego, and lust, but the trunk pull is a tried and true ingredient for turning up the erotic heat, at least for the gay wrestling fan, if not for the combatants themselves.