Tag: Mats Roger Jensen

Year in Review – Favorite Moment #4

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The Vancouver Winter Olympics come in at #4 on my list of my favorite blogging moments of 2010. I particularly appreciated the trend this year to cast scantily clad hardbodies athletes in magazines in order to promote the competition, national pride, and team spirit.



I also appreciated the opportunity that the Olympics provided me to learn from so many readers who are much better informed concerning winter sport than I am. I had several tips come in that helped me suss out where to focus my attention in order to catch the hottest meat on snow and ice.



Speed skaters continue to be my most anticipated winter Olympic eye candy. The massive, mounded, shredded thighs packed into lycra are just unbeatable. When there’s an unmistakable bulge at the crotch screwing with the aerodynamics, so much more the better.



I confess to getting a little caught up in the patriotic melodrama of the event this time around. Typically, I’m teflon when it comes to “for the motherland” plots. But even I, a guilt-wracked, privilege-ambivalent American, had to admit that seeing Canada win hockey gold was awfully satisfying.  And I still say Canadian hockey man-of-the-moment, Sidney Crosby, looks like Brad Rochelle!



The best moment of moments, and I predict a precursor of things to come, was boarder hotty Scotty Lago getting caught on camera with his bronze medal wrapped around his tiny little waist, pulling up his shirt to reveal his sliced-to-shreds abs and hip tat, in order to allow an eager fan to lick the bronze medal dangling in front of his crotch. Scotty was rushed out of Vancouver in a flash. Apologies and recriminations were made. There was an official gasp of scandal. But I think Scotty is just ahead of his time. The Olympics are bound to get more overtly sexy in the future. The victorious competitor with a body built for worship is all about sex. Sure, there’s national pride. Sure, there’s the profound satisfaction of being the best you can be, and that being better than anyone else. But let’s face it, like all animals, we compete to determine which buck gets first pick in mating season. I say leave Scotty alone, and if he ever needs his bronze medal shined again, he can give me a call any day.



While I still say that the cards are stacked against the Winter Olympics when it comes opportunities to lust over the world-class athletes (too much gear!), I had a fun time keeping one eye on Vancouver and the other eye combing the internet for more exposés on the hot, hard bodies of winter sport. For the monster thighs, massive bulges, and hi-tech lycra bodysuits of the future, the Winter Olympics rank #4 for my favorite moments in blogging in 2010. I raise a glass to toast the drama, the thrill of competition, and most of all, the world class bodies.

More Olympic Spirit

wrestlebard5 Comments


I feel the fever. The winter Olympics in Vancouver are less than three weeks away. Hot, hard toned, world class athletes will soon assemble in one critical mass of muscled gorgeousness. I’m already feeling the winter chill thawing (in my pants). Beautiful bodies can’t help but sprout when determined young men train for world class performance.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m unfortunately not in the know when it comes to winter sports. So many of the cold weather activities require so much bundling up, I simply have no idea who’s a hardbody muscle stud worthy of worship underneath all the gear. If only more ice gods would take their cues from now-retired skier Jeremy Bloom and show off more fantastic skin (or Dutch speed skater Jan Bos at the top of the post today).
Thank God for Mats Roger Jensen, the Norwegian speed skater who strips to his underwear to show off his freakishly massive thighs. Sweet mother, I’d give a body part to feel that power squeezing me. I’d pay money to see it squeeze someone else. If you know Mats personally, please pass along the offer. I haven’t yet really started to “follow” speed skating, but I’ve never seen a race that hasn’t turned me on, particularly when I’m in one of my legs-fetish moods.
An helpful and knowledgeable reader passed along to me the recommendation to check out Henrik Lundqvist, the Swedish hockey goalie. The procession of objects of lust that Sweden produces is seriously mind-boggling. I think the idea of covering up Henrik’s sweet body with all that hockey goalie gear is criminal (at least a misdemeanor).
I’m looking for some more tips on who to lust after in Vancouver. My internet searches are pretty awful on the subject. As someone who isn’t a devotee, I’m not even certain who’s made their respective teams. Beautiful young American speed skater, Trevor Marsicano, looks like he’s got the legs to trade scissors with Mats. Yes, this is the third speed skater I’ve mentioned, suggesting that I’m particularly enthralled with massively muscled thighs these days. Speed skater muscle butts are also nearly unbeatable (though I’d like to give that a try).
Evan Lysacek has the idea. When you’re not covered from neck to toe in spandex (which has it’s own pleasures), unbutton your shirt and show off the toned torso. Watching figure skating, as sport, doesn’t get my competitive blood pumping. Seeing some hardbodies in spandex that hugs the curves of their tight butts does, on the other hand, get blood pumping, at least locally.

I know many of you out there are up on winter sports hunks, so through me a bone. Particularly those of you in Nordic countries that actually track these sports with enthusiasm, fill me in on who should be catching my eye and sparking my imagination in Vancouver in a few weeks.

The Olympic Spirit

wrestlebard2 Comments


The 2010 Olympics are just a month and a half away! It used to be that I couldn’t generate a lot of heat for the winter sports. Too many clothes, too much shrinkage due to the cold… but then I discovered speed skating. More accurately, I discovered speed skaters.

What do you get when you train an athlete’s body to have zero body fat, maintain a low center of gravity, and be in a perpetual squat and a continual sprint? You get the bizarrely gorgeous proportions of speed skater. The monster quads, gargantuan butts, and teeny-tiny little waists on international caliber speed skaters warm me up on cold winter nights every four years or so.
When I first noticed the godlike proportions of speed skaters in those tights that squeeze, lift, and mold to every crack, crevice and bulge of their bodies, there was just a dull roar in my ears as the blood went rushing out of my skull. But after I recuperated, gasping and sweaty, and I was able to hear clearly again, I was thrilled by the drama that seems to accompany speed skating recently.
The last winter Olympics spotlighted the super egos and trash talk of the top tier speed skaters. Seriously, these boys need to strip to their underwear and climb into a pro-wrestling ring, because they’ve got the megalomania and testosterone-drunk swagger to compete with any pro-wrestler.
Generally, I’ve had to use my imagination to catch a glimpse of some serious skin on these gods on ice. Then Apolo Ohno did this provocative ad for the Red campaign for Gap. God bless him for his choice to wear the product as a headband, and nothing else.
Then I stumbled across these fan-freaking-tastic photos by photographer John Andresen of Norwegian speed skater Mats Roger Jensen. I can tell from these pics that there are at least three people in love with Mats’ body: me, the photographer, and Mats. All Olympic speed skaters should be required (REQUIRED I SAY!) to get sprayed down and pose in their underwear like this. Look at that ass! I can’t take my eyes off it! Just imagine him wrapping those slabs of beef that are his quads around some poor guy’s midsection, lacing his ankles together, and then squeezing.
Mats will be making an appearance in my wrestling fiction if I can find some brave soul who could face those incredible quads without pissing himself.

God, I can’t wait for the winter Olympics!