Nurse! I feel faint!

Chris Cuomo hasn’t shown up in my blog lately, he’s never far from my heart. Stunning news at ABC from the beginning of this month when they announced that Diane Sawyer will be leaving Good Morning America at the end of the year to become the sole news anchor for the evening news. Of course there’s that fascinating story that reflects on the fact that as of January, two of the three national evening news anchors will be women. Of course, that’s not the story I really care so much about.

I’m keeping my eye on the beautiful Italian with the curly hair and the massive hands who potentially likes to go commando. “Unnamed sources” (those bastards) have suggested that when Sawyer leaves the show at the end of the year, there will be a major shake up of the on screen ensemble. All I can say is keep your filthy hands off Chris Cuomo! (and place my worshipful hands on him). All this behind-camera drama is definitely calling for a new match in my wrestling fiction featuring Chris… perhaps defending his anchor seat against upstart A&F-looking skinny-stud David Muir.
Speaking of Chris Cuomo and hands, did you catch yesterday’s on screen vaccinations of the cast for the flu? It was another one of those unscripted moments that revealed so much about the morning newsboys. For example, it’s fascinating to know that Chris is versatile. “I can go either way,” he says proudly. Indeed, Chris. I’ve long suspected as much.
And as Chris rolls up the sleeve of his polo shirt, catch him just trying to restrain himself from flexing that massive bicep. Go ahead, Chris, flex. You know you want to. You know we want you to…
Adding to the sexual tension ALWAYS present between Chris and weatherman Sam Champion, when it’s Sam’s turn for his flu shot, he insists that Chris hold his hand. He even gives up the ruse, confessing it’s not that he’s afraid of the shot, he just wants Chris to hold his hand. Chris tries to play down the tension, rolling his eyes and remarking, “Another highpoint.” And once again I say, look at that massively mounded bicep! All right, already! We can all see what’s happening here! Just get a room and put Sam out of his misery!!! (and have someone take pictures… and send them to me).
So it isn’t always “news” on the morning news shows that matters, clearly (did you see the extensive segment on Simon Cowell turning 50?). I’m tuning in to catch my favorite Italian stallion occasionally flex his muscles and show some skin (thank God for flu season). Word to the wise over at ABC News, whatever you decide about replacing Diane Sawyer, leave Chris Cuomo on air! It wouldn’t hurt to put him in short sleeves more often, too. And an occasional segment that requires him to be in a swimsuit wouldn’t hurt either. I know I’ve posted this pic of Chris fishing before, but I just want to remind us all the raw talent that this man brings. David Muir’s in for a world of hurtin’…

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