A Year in the Life

cropped-neverland2013c1

With 2015 coming to a close, it’s time to reminisce. I published 100 posts this year, and readers added up an astonishing 493,000 page views in 2015. Most readers (by far) find their way to the home page of neverland, tracking the most recently published posts from day to day. Fascinatingly, the second most viewed page was the About neverland page, which sort of warms my heart because it’s text intensive (so you weren’t just chasing pics) and, well, all about me and my philosophy of blogging. By far the most popular pic clicked on this year was of hot, hairy chested Damien Rush crunching out a most-muscular pose with his masked undoing hovering ominously in the background.

vlcsnap-2014-01-09-09h52m35s222
Damien’s most muscular grabbed readers most.

Readers also clicked most on my review of the Gazebo Grapplers 17 match pitting jungle boy Lorenzo Lowe against hot jobber Tim Messina. You also seemed to be as infatuated with the pulse pounding 2015 debut of big, bulging, beautiful, blond, blue-eyed beefcake Biff Farrell, clicking directly through to my adoring review of his introduction to the homoerotic wrestling audience in Lon Dumont’s Wrestler Spotlight DVD. Of course, these stats are systematically biased toward older posts (you’ve had less time to rack up clicks on December posts, for example).  Which makes me think that my September review of Hunkbash 15, although only the 3rd most viewed blog post of the year, may actually turn out to be the hotttest click over time. And I can certainly understand why. I’ve nearly worn out my DVD of Logan Vaughn’s divine, titanic thighs squeezing every ounce of resistance out of every inch of supplicant-in-training Trey Dixon. There are tastes du jour and then there are exquisite, timeless dishes that we’ll be savoring for years to come, and I have to believe that Trey crushed into sweaty, slack jawed worship at the bare feet of Logan is going to be a keeper.

0417_lg
Timeless!

Neverland readers originate from across the globe. English-speaking United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada are, in order, the top ranking origins of the most readers. Germany comes in fourth place with over 13,000 page views, edging out Australia. France, Japan and Mexico round out the top 8 countries of origin of homoerotic wrestling fans checking out the latest here at neverland.

bge

Click-throughs reveal what I’d expect. I spend most of my time reviewing BG East products, so little wonder that over 14,000 of the click-throughs this year were of readers checking out the source material at BGE. Most of the other click throughs were to brother bloggers like Wrestling Arsenal, Inner Jobber, Beefcakes of Wrestling, and Ringside at Skull Island. I do have love for more than BG East, of course, so I’m glad to see there were over 2,500 click throughs checking out source material at Can-Am, over 2,500 to Cameron Matthews‘ site, and over 1,800 to Muscle Domination Wrestling.

david2
The moment I get my hands on (a pic of) David Muir shirtless, you will be the first to know!

Those of you using search engines to find your way to these pages typically know what you’re looking for, most of the time using keywords “sidelineland” or “neverland wrestling.”  Fascinating me to no end, the next most common search engine keyword earning a click to neverland is “David Muir shirtless.”  Google it, and sure enough, neverland is ranked #1. Again, consider my heart strangely warmed by the newsboy love that clearly many of you share with me.  Those of you searching for a particular wrestling crush sending you this way were most likely to be seeking out Lane Hartley or Lon Dumont.

gio
Favorite moment #5: Gio plays for our team!

As for my favorite moments of 2015, one of the most fabulous reveals that I celebrated on the pages of this blog was my current top newsboy crush, Gio Benitez, coming out to his adoring public via Instagram photos of sunning his magnificent muscles next to his then-boyfriend Tommy DiDario. When he then documented his Paris marriage proposal via social media, getting down on one knee (Tommy said yes, of course!), a newsboy homoerotic wrestling lover champion tag team was born in my imagination. Every time I see Gio’s gargantuan biceps straining the seams of his suit coats as he reports on GMA, I no longer need to imagine what those hot, bulging muscles look like shirtless, thanks to Gio sharing the wealth and proudly showing off his, and his fiancee’s fabulous muscles in 2015. I’m still waiting for my wedding invitation.

h03_lg
But seriously…

One of those little moments that probably blew right past most readers but tickled my crotch just right this year was a snarky little exchange I had with none other than BG East Boss himself, Kid Leopard back in February. In my relentless pouring over and critiquing the nominees for BG East’s 2014 Bestie Awards, I adamantly announced that Kirk Donahue did not deserve to be in the running for Best Ass. You know what a smart ass I am, so of course I poured it on thick, speculating that the eventual winner of the category ought to bend Kirk over his knee and spank that adorable, yet not outstanding ass until he confesses who he fucked to get the nomination. Well, my smart assedness earned me a firm, slighty chiding message from Kid Leopard, who I assume is nominator in chief, explaining that I was completely off base in my disregard of Kirk’s award worthy butt. Getting a virtual slap on the wrist from the Boss both tickled and aroused me so much that I promptly published a public service announcement clarifying that, with additional persuasive evidence offered by the Boss, Kirk’s ass is totally nominatible.  Of course, I was still a smart ass. And I still say Kirk’s ass is sensationally fuckable, but nowhere near deserving of a top 5 ranking in the exceedingly hot field of BG East butts.  But anytime Kid Leopard calls me into his office to slap me around a bit, it’s going to be on my list of favorite moments.

character_study_joe_lally_014_1
Aussie fashion model Jarrod Scott inspired my homoerotic wrestling imagination this year.

My third favorite moment of 2015 was a little self-generated pride and joy I felt in getting my ass back to what really started neverland in the first place: writing homoerotic wrestling fiction. In August I took the flimsy excuse of Details Magazine identifying their top 31 male models, to write up a first round of homoerotic pretty boy wrestling fiction. I have yet to complete the tournament, though Sean O’Pry, John Halls, and Jarrod Scott more than ably earned their way into the semi-finals.  What may not have been as apparent on your side of the screen was the pleasure I had in getting back to exercising my homoerotic wrestling imagination. I’ve gotten back to the keyboard several times this fall, and I anticipate 2016 getting me back to the online homoerotic wrestling fiction publishing business again.  I’ll keep you updated.

12202024_1728558944044918_825688879_n
Super sexy Drake “Blogger Bait” Marcos, Ty Alexander, and Kayden Keller.

My second most favorite moment in blogging this year was the feast of homoerotic wrestler Halloween costumes I got to enjoy, and share, in early November.  Ty Alexander, Kayden Keller and Drake “Don’t-Call-Me-Jobber” Marcos partied hearty on Halloween this year and gifted you and me some hot shots of their sensationally sexy superhero costumes. By way of introducing himself to me, and by extension, you, adorably hot red-headed rookie twink Charlie Evans also sent some shots my way of his Iceman costume for Halloween this year. As soon as homoerotic wrestling studs send me unsolicited (or at least, lightly solicited) photos of themselves roaming the real world, I’m aroused and the moment is indelibly etched onto the list of most memorable moments.

0106_lg
Man-of-my-dreams Scott Williams

My top, very most favorite moment in blogging for 2015 took place in the comments section.  Casual readers may not think to check the comments, but you do so at the risk of missing hot gems every so often. Such was the case when I posted one of my long, adoring, full throttle fanboy infatuation pieces on my long-time homoerotic wrestler crush, Scott Williams. Scott shared his appreciation that his fans are still gagging for it, assuring us that he is “still keeping in shape and wrestling privately here in Boston and when I travel…always will love it and will always make you proud on the mats or in the ring!” He signed his comment “Sending bearhugs – Scott Williams.”  I have since seen glimpses and snippets of evidence (follow the likes of Ty Alexander on FB, and you’ll see what I mean) that Scott is, indeed, still climbing into the ring, and he remains incredibly, profoundly, astonishingly sexy fit still today. I think it’s a crime against homoerotic wrestling fandom that Scott is keeping his wrestling work out of the publicly consumable sphere these days, and I think you should, at this very moment, send an email to BG East pleading with them to convince this classic hunk to cum out in a new release in 2016. In the meantime, that virtual bearhug from one of my longest running wrestling crushes still keeps me warm at night.

0213_lg
Scott takes full possession of favorite moment #1.

So, 2016. I’m hoping it’s a year for getting back to what has been the most fun for me over the past 6 years. Be it resolved that I will publish homoerotic wrestling fiction in the coming year.  Be it also resolved that I will snag some fresh new wrestler interviews, because the lack of interviews in 2015 was, in retrospect, tragic from my perspective. I’ve also been not-so-subtly angling for an opportunity to be your Every-Joe-Fan at an honest-to-the-homoerotic-wrestling-gods taping of a match, and I see no reason why 2016 shouldn’t be the year that that invitation doesn’t show up in my mailbox. Those are a few of my hopes and dreams for the New Year. Hope yours is hot, sweaty, and includes some OTK backbreakers.

h0313_lg
…to you and yours.

Newsbreak

Throwback Thursday yesterday reminded me that I haven’t crushed on hot newsmen in a little while. For those who are just tuning in, I have long argued that mainstream news media outlets have conceded that sex sells, and the really adept newsrooms have been promoting hot hunks to give us something sweet to make the medicine of today’s events go down a little easier. I first started hitting on this subject when Good Morning America put their then-newsreader Chris Cuomo in a dunking booth and made sure we got to see his tight white t-shirt soaked to the skin overtop his bulging pecs.

fd1e9-chriscuomowet
The glorious state of morning news programs: Chris Cuomo’s rippling muscles beneath a soaking, wetly transparent undershirt (circa 2009).

There was a time when I played with the homoerotic male news tease as a “what-if” concept. I’ve written homoerotic wrestling stories exaggerating the theme for you and me in particular. I’ve intentionally allowed myself to “read into” the subtext of big, beautiful, beefy boys nailing positions in front of the news cameras as a device for sexing up and turning on the portion of their audience titillated by male beauty. But somewhere along the line, I think reality overtook my imagination.  It doesn’t take much imagination at all to recognize that hardbodied hotties behind the news desks and on assignment are a thing. No longer are we turning to grey haired, grandfatherly types with jowls and expressionless faces to convey trustworthiness. In these post-structural days of impossible-to-escape subjectivity, the old boys, later replaced by the not quite  young pretty girls, are now giving way to young, pretty, conventionally handsome hunks with big muscles.

cuomoguns
These days, Chris Cuomo can’t stop flexing those gargantuan guns!

So for today’s news break, let’s get caught up on a few of my newsboy infatuations who have been dropping more and more pretense and proving more and more explicitly that they know why we’re tuning in. They know what we’re looking at. And I’m confident that they’re getting just a little turned on by being exhibitionist hunks squarely in our crushing gaze.

cuomofish
It’s about the fish. Yeah. Right. (look at the vacularity in Cuomo’s deltoids!) 

The newsboy hunk I’ve prattled on about longest is, as I mentioned, Chris Cuomo.  Now with CNN, formerly with ABC, Cuomo is, yes indeed, the younger brother of the current (and a former) New York State governor. A reader once mistook my infatuation for the Gov, but rest assured, I’m all about the younger Cuomo.  Chris has owned a special place in the homoeroticization of news in particular for his frequent shirtless fishing pics he posts.

cuomofish2
Uh-huh. It’s about the fish.

These days, there’s less and less merely implied about our cravings for his hot, bulging bod. He writes a column for a fitness mag.  He posts videos of gym workouts. And I came across (pun intended) these video clips that prove Chris both knows we’re noticing his big, juicy muscles and he’s more than happy to stoke those fires with muscle teasing.  This first clip is a little hard to see, but it’s Chris videoing a close up of his big, flexed bicep staring us in the face as he imitates James Earl Jones’ deep throated voiceover introduction to his network.

Tell me, would you have wanted to see Walter Cronkite role up his sleep and muscle tease his audience? No, Chris is a big, hardbodied newsboy hunk of the 21st century, when we like them not only ridiculously good looking and sexy fit, but showing it off. Then there’s this second clip I came across from his reporting from the World Cup from last year. I’d noticed his hot, bulging muscles squeezed into that jersey in still frame, but I’d missed this video of him.  I’m not exaggerating so watch this now, because, no shit, Chris Cuomo is explicitly taunting us by bouncing his big, meaty pec.

Hearts beating for #TeamUSA #IBelieve #USMNT #Brazil2014 #WorldCup

A post shared by Christopher C. Cuomo (@chrisccuomo) on

Yes, that’s what I tune into the news for! Frankly, Chris can’t stop flexing.  Sure, there are fresh new fishing shots (iconically Chris Cuomo) in which he rolls up his sleeve before he holds up his catch, to show off those peaked biceps. But he’s also showing off his sexy goofy hotness flashing a gasp-worthy double bicep in celebration of his 45th birthday this past week.

cuomo
I know exactly what those massive biceps should be doing every damn day…

Hell, yes.  Just try to stop me from imagining that heavy artillery pounding some other news hottie in the ring.

david2
Clawing his way to the top of the ABC news heap, hottie David Muir is ready for any takers.

The top echelons of national news are rife with industry intrigue. Not everyone was expecting young David Muir, who always looks ripped from the pages of a last-decade Abercrombie catalog, to land the evening news anchor desk. He did though, and I’m not ashamed to admit I tune in more often just to soak in his dazzling hotness.  David has been a little more coy about showing off his bod than Chris Cuomo is. But he does it.  And clearly, it’s his chiseled triceps he’s most proud of.

david
Just this morning, filling in on GMA, David took the opportunity so squeeze into a short sleeve shirt 2 sizes too small and make sure the cameraman got his favorite, flexed tricep in the pic.
david3
It’s all about the triceps.

Strip them down to speedos and lets see how painfully pretty Muir stacks up against 6’2″ Italian stallion Cuomo. David is long, lean and strong. If it were a marathon match, he’d be slapping on a front-face sleeper on a gasping, exhausted Chris before it was all over.  Which is why Chris would make sure this doesn’t go the distance, with one high impact move after another, body slamming, clothes-lining, and suplexing David’s magnificent body all over the ring. I predict Cuomo takes the match with a rag doll full nelson submission, but Muir would make him work for it. Hard.

giobeach
Gio Benitez appears to have his eye on a particular baby blue-eyed muscleboy!

And speaking of working it hard, Gio Benitez has certainly been my biggest newsboy crush in recent months. His desk colleagues at Good Morning America have openly called out Gio’s bulging, hot bod, and producers keep insisting he cover “features” that require him to get soaking wet. There’s been a ton of speculation about where Gio’s lustful gaze lands (okay, I’m sure I’m projecting there, but I know I’m not the only one), but I’ve not been able to find any confirmation one way or another whose team he bats for.  However, checking out his online pictorial archives, I’m noticing a certain sky blue-eyed slice of beefcake heaven appearing more and more frequently in his Instagram feed, including being featured prominently in Gio’s recent beach vacation photos.  If he doesn’t play for our team, or at the very least is a switch hitter, he’s the most sexually secure straight Latino man on the planet.

giobeau
A tag team partnership made in homoerotic wrestling heaven.

I’ve speculated long and hard on the fireworks that a Cuomo v Benitez ring battle would incite. Fuck, Cuomo and Benitez have explicitly been comparing fitness and muscle fans. As for me, I’m sure muscle daddy Chris would demand face-to-crotch headscissors forcing Gio to suck on the agony while staring up at the Italian stallion flexing his biceps and pecs back at him. Gio’s blue-eyed, hotly muscled beefy “friend” would interfere from outside the ring, because no homoerotic wrestler wants to see his lover tag partner getting completely owned by a domineering muscle beast. Sooner or later, though, Cuomo’s got them both stacked into the corner and spearing the fuck out of them with shoulder blocks. A figure-4 sleeper putting down Gio and one of those coiling pythons choking out baby blue-eyes at the same time, and Cuomo is left flexing in victory atop both of them.

matt2
What road?

My other low boil newsboy hunk crush is Mr. GQ, Matt Gutman. This son of a bitch is downright stingy with his beefcake shots, which I guarantee you is a factor in why he’s been struggling for airtime at ABC with Gio’s dazzling star on the rise. But ABC news producers have also treated us to making Mattie get wet, many times, including one segment in which we get a glimpse of his fabulously furry, ripped, sensational bare torso. Of his more recent postings, one thing is for sure. That lush head of hair and sexy as fuck furrowed brow can make any terror fade into the background for me.

matt
What forest fire?

Here’s where things get seriously interesting in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.  Mattie’s got some ice in his veins and heartless mystery about him that make me think what he gives up in sheer brawn to Cuomo, he may just make up for elsewhere. I picture him a smooth operator, chill. A graceful flyer who can plant a flat footed standing drop kick squarely into the Italian juggernaut’s collarbones.  Chris muscles him around because, fuck, this is Mr. Muscle we’re talking about. But I say Gutman is the man with the plan, crippling the Italian stallion with a knee-snapping figure-4 and then exploiting a masterful ground game and, sure, some illegal use of the ropes, to wear Cuomo out. He submits to a reach from behind nut claw that the hairy correspondent uses to make Chris crawl on his hands and knees around the ring in weeping humiliation.

matt-gutman-shirtless
I may need to towel off now. Can I borrow yours, Matt?

My thanks to the postmodern era for delivering newsboys who would have been muscle mag coverboys just 50 years ago.

Wet Newsmen

Truly fanatical readers will remember that pretty much the first topical post on this blog was entitled “Wet Newsman” and featured big, beautiful Chris Cuomo in a tight white t-shirt getting soaked to the skin in a dunking booth on GMA.  I was hoping that was the start of much more gratuitous beefcake on morning television, because the sight of Cuomo’s thick, round pecs plastered seductively in that soaked t-shirt made so much bad news better.  You also know that I frequently chase my homoerotic wrestling imagination down newsboy rabbit holes, translating news desk beef into my fondest full contact wrestling scenarios. One hot hunk behind the news desk who has managed to evade my every effort to track down shirtless shots of is the new evening news anchor for ABC, shoulda-been-an-Abercrombie-model David Muir.  I think David may be feeling the heat from junior correspondent and bulging beefcake Gio Benitez releasing a shirtless shot a few months ago, because today Muir joined the rest of the GMA cast (David’s filling in for Stephanopoulos), in the so-called “ice bucket challenge” for ALS.  He’s not the first muscled newsboy to use the gimmick to tease his bulging pecs and pursed nips, but I’m not one bit less titillated that he went for it. As is prerequisite, he flexed hard in anticipation of the ice cold water, then just watch his shirt suck to his pecs and go transparent…

 

muirwet3 muirwet5 muirwet6

muirwet

 

I like to think that’s the face he makes when he’s rolled an opponent up in a small package and slapped down a gloating, taunting 3-count pinfall. While I’d still offer a bounty on a legitimate shirtless shot of this stud puppy, I will nevertheless soak in the sight of his hot pecs finally visible beneath the saturated transparency of his dress shirt. As I strongly suspected, David’s got a beefy chest. Which transports me back to that wrestling moment I wrote about a few days ago. You know, the one where I left off with a friendly tussle in the wrestling ring between good natured David and Gio turns serious on a dime, leaving David’s screams of anguish muffled with his face buried beneath Gio’s muscled glutes as the junior newsboy does his best to rip the senior anchor’s balls off.

David arches his hips high in the air, simultaneously trying to lift Gio off his face.  The effort makes the junior newsboy rock backward, but he rights his balance quickly and leans forward to avoid being unseated entirely. Even with his face buried in the beefcake’s ass,  David knows exactly where his opponent’s body is at all times. So as Gio leans forward, David lifts his left knee sharply, crashing viciously into the Gio’s face. The stunned correspondent releases David’s balls and cups his throbbing nose in shock. When he pulls his hands away, he sees blood. “You broke my nose!” the young hunk gasps disbelievingly. David takes advantage of the youngster’s shock to twist to the right, rolling his shoulder off the mat and tipping his opponent to the side. Gio rolls left, quickly climbing to his feet, but the veteran smoothly grabs Gio’s left ankle and sweeps his legs out from underneath him. Gio’s back hits the mat hard, and half a second later David is on top of him. The anchor grapevines Gio’s legs, yanking them wide. He pins Gio’s left arm between their torsos while wrenching his right arm hooked behind his head.  Holding Gio’s right arm locked in place with one hand, David uses the other to pound 3 brutal pec punches that make Gio’s heart skip a beat.  The kid gasps in agony, his jaw hanging open soundlessly as his head rolls backward. As David dismounts, he drags his junior colleague up by the hair with him.  Gio is wobbly on his feet. His left hand clutches his right pec, which still has bright red fist prints on it. Smoothly, David hooks his right arm between the stunned stud’s legs and hoists Gio off his feet, cradling his beefy bod momentarily across his chest before dropping violently down to his left knee, pounding Gio’s lower back across his outstretched right thigh. Gio wails like a wounded animal as his captor holds him bent backward across his knee. “So you like playing with balls, boy?” David snarls angrily. He slides his long fingers inside his opponent’s trunks, his hand slowly enfolding the youngster’s prominent bulge. David’s lightly hairy forearm flexes, and a half second later Gio screams.

…at least, that’s what I imagine….

Muscle Newsbreak

The race to titillate consumers of news with hotly muscled newsboys seems an ill-kept secret. I suspect we have been socially programmed to find men with baritone voices as the most trustworthy sources of information, and I know for a fact we are profoundly socialized to prefer pretty, fit people, even when the context of their beauty is meaningless to their function. So having big, juicy pecs and peaked biceps that strains the seems of your shirt sleeves has no bearing on the validity or importance of the news they deliver, and yet it’s no accident that news media are dominated by such hot, sexy hunks.  It’s also no accident that these hunky journalists work it hard. And as a result, it should come as no surprise at all that they inspire an imaginative homoerotic wrestling kink consumer like me to fantasize about throwing their fine asses into a wrestling ring and watching the upright studs go from earnestly selling trustworthiness to all-in erotic professional wrestling.  And they keep fueling my fantasies with hot muscle teases.

wragge
Chris Wragge flexes in a wet t-shirt.

For example, take a hunky, 6’3″ news anchor with thick, hot pecs who douses himself in ice cold water to show off his physique in a wet t-shirt for charity. Of course, the bitter cold makes him “involuntarily”‘ flex his hot body. Chris Wragge is bringing awareness to something, but I don’t think it’s primarily ALS. Not that I’m complaining.

muir
David Muir flexes in a black polo.

Studpuppy on the rise David Muir has just recently planted his hot ass in the anchor’s chair of ABC Nightly News, propelled I’m sure in part by the compelling work he does such as when he spotlighted an African American ballet dancer a few days ago. Apropos of nothing, he chatted with her in the summer sunshine, showing off his tan in a short sleeve black polo. His arms stay bent the entire time, coincidentally showing off his meaty biceps. And when the camera catches him just right in profile, check out his perky pecs bulging to sweetly.

muir2
Hot anchorman pecs!

Online commenters have noted the chemistry between David and rising star correspondent Gio Benitez, who’s been a major infatuation of mine lately. Gio gets fluff pieces like being sent to interview the ankle biter with a dearth of humility who charmed everyone (but me) by prattling on on live television news about a week ago.  However, Gio makes more than the most of this nonsense by wearing a supertight yellow button up shirt that shows off his gorgeously bulging torso. The seams on his shirtsleeves deserve an award for managing to hold as he bends his arm to hold the microphone in front of the kid’s face, coincidentally flexing his bicep for the camera. At one point he looks put out having to squat low (was it a leg-day, Gio?) to get down on the rugrat’s level, and as he leans forward the buttons down the front of his shirt nearly pop open, giving a half a dozen glimpses of the hot mass flexing underneath. The repeatedly interrupted toss back to  the anchor’s desk totally screws with David Muir who keeps thinking the piece is over.

gio
Gio Benitez flexes in a supertight yellow button-up.

The gentle pranking between Benitez and Muir makes me picture the two of them sparring in the ring good-naturedly, muscle hunk Gio taunting and teasing the upperclassmen star anchor desk quarterback. Gio dominates an initial test of strength, powering David submissively to his knees. David battles back to his feet, not about to be humiliated by the freshman, and breaks the hold with a kick to Gio’s lower abs. They laugh off the physical tension building between them as step back, give nods of respect, and then lock up again. Gio quickly hip tosses David to his back and drops an elbow across the handsome hunk’s sternum. David struggles to reinflate his lungs, but still manages to suddenly snap his long legs around Gio’s head and squeeze some hot, painful grunts from the youngster. The tanned Muir flexes his hot thighs as they bulge around his opponent’s skull for half a minute, until the youngster gathers his wits and kicks free.  They laugh good-naturedly again, but there’s more wariness, more caution, more ego just beneath the surface. They lock up again, but Gio quickly snaps his gargantuan right arm around David’s head and cranks hard, dragging the side of the Muir’s handsome face across Gio’s ridged obliques. Smoothly, the veteran counters, slipping free and wrenching that massive right arm of Gio’s behind his back in a hammerlock, making the kid defensively rise to the balls of his feet and gasp in pain, his meaty pecs bouncing. David quickly transitions to a headlock, and instantly follows with a hip toss, holding onto Gio’s head as they slam to the mat.  David presses hard, shoving the kid’s face into his right pec. Gio attempts to kick free, but his skull is wedged way too tight. He’s seeing stars with the pressure bearing down on his temples. He pushes at David’s side, trying to force a break, but the headlock is cinched in like a vice. David taunts the kid a little, leaving it unclear whether it’s good natured teasing or some alpha dog psych out. Apparently Gio takes it the wrong way, because his right hand abruptly locks onto David’s balls through the fabric of his trunks.  The anchorman screams and falls to his back, his hands instinctively stretching down to gently, pleadingly cover Gio’s claw. The muscle kid crawls up to his knees and pulls upward, dragging David’s throbbing hips off the mat by the crushing claw locked onto his testicles. Gio crawls across David’s body, facing his opponent’s feet and still holding the claw tightly, now squatting across the anchorman’s upper chest. Slowly he sits down, his big, hard glutes settling smotheringly across Muir’s sputtering mouth. Gio leans back farther, making David bridge higher into the air, a scream of angry protest muffled beneath Gio’s bubble butt.

davidgio
Newsboy powercouple.

At least, that’s where my mind goes…

News Break

I harbor a well-known and oft-analyzed infatuation with the hunks of television news.  Actually, I don’t think it’s much of a mystery that television news has been sexing things up, including promoting hot hunks of eye candy to be lusted over while ostensibly being informed of world events.  A couple of my favorite newsboy crushes came across my desk in the last couple of days, reminding me of some of my fondest homoerotic wrestling fantasies.

muir6

Kenneth in 212 shares my infatuation with ABC’s weekend anchor and Abercrombie poster boy, David Muir.  Here’s a random shot of Muir’s beautiful, bulging arms, for which I have (and Kenneth provides) zero context, but who the hell cares?  Picture those guns locked and loaded around the waist of Carter Evans in a vicious pro wrestling ring battle in my homoerotic wrestling imagination!

muir10

Muir also recently had a piece in which he flew to Ethiopia with an eye doctor and granted impoverished, blind Ethiopians a gift beyond their wildest dreams: to open their eyes and have the first thing they’ve ever seen be his smiling, gorgeous face. Fuck, I’m jealous of impoverished, blind Ethiopians!

muir7

David shows off more of those naked arms, making weeping Ethiopian post-op children somehow become background for my lustful fantasies.  I know, that’s fucking messed up, and I blame the commercialization of network news entirely. Those sick bastards.

Now that you’re remembering the warm feeling that I (perhaps you) get when David Muir wears a deep v-neck, short sleeve t-shirt, let’s up the ante with a more specialized taste in newsboys: my longstanding infatuation with Carter Evans.

carterevans

Carter recently posted this clip of him surfing, (one of 2) from the point of view of the nose of his surfboard, letting us watch this hot stud get soaked in a wet suit and look smooth as butter working his board.

carter4

Baby, look at that ass as he squats low and rides that wave.

carter5

And when that motherfucker runs into him mid-ride about halfway through the clip, watch him throw the fucker over the top of the wave without so much as needing to adjust his stance as he just keeps riding. Damn, that boy’s alpha!

carter2

If you haven’t been paying attention, scenes like this have inspired appearances from both Muir and Evans in my homoerotic wrestling fiction series, Producer’s Ring, which features an entire subplot devoted to my lustful imaginings of what the increasingly beautiful boys of news could do if homoerotic wrestling ruled the world. In fact, considering Carter’s clear beach proclivities, how unknowingly appropriate it was that I set his first foray into homoerotic wrestling on the beach.

Year in Review – Favorite Moment #5

If you were tracking my musings this time last year, you may remember that I did my own “best of 2009” countdown. I’m reprising the tradition as I reflect back on another year of finding a ridiculous quantity of things to say about beautiful men, wrestling, and especially beautiful men wrestling.




Again, if you were tracking my musings this time last year, you may also remember my bitterness at the end of 2009 as a result of Italian adonis newsboy Chris Cuomo getting shafted (linger on that image a moment…) and yanked off of my morning television into the oblivion that is 20/20… or is it 60 minutes… or Dateline…. one of those news programs that I have far too much of a life to be watching on a weekend evening.
To kick off my 5 most favorite moments of 2010, I’m reflecting with deep appreciation on the new crop of news hunks that the networks are now beginning to harvest. I was sure it was going to happen, but it seemed like an eternity before hot new meat popped up to catch my eye in the morning news. When Matt Gutman showed up on ABC covering the oil spill in the gulf, suddenly the morning news grabbed my attention like it hadn’t managed to do since Chris’ exile.

So my discovery of Matt is the “moment” I’m appreciating, but I’m also happy to have seen plenty more of Matt on the oil soaked beaches of the gulf, and then covering the tornado ravaged Southeast, and more recently in harms way as Haiti rioted. I’m pulling for Matt to get a desk job soon, so that he can be a more regular fixture of lust and we can see those dimples up close. As long as he continues to keep his shirt unbuttoned to give us a glimpse of that hot, hairy chest, he will remain my favorite new fantasyman from the world of journalism.

Matt’s debut in my homoerotic wrestling fiction (it was inevitable) was at first glance, perhaps, inauspicious. He submitted to David Muir in a Mexican Ceiling hold variation, despite the ringside encouragement of his mentor, Chris Cuomo.


When Chris’ nemesis, Carter Evans dives into the ring looking like he’s eager to take a bite out of the beaten rookie post-match, Chris intervenes in defense of his protegé. Matt cements himself as an anti-hero object of my lust by Pearl Harboring his now-former mentor and double-teaming the Italian Stallion with his new BFF, Carter. I expect to see more of all parties involved showing up in my homoerotic wrestling imagination in 2011, needless to say.

And I’m delighted to add that there are a bevy of newsboys ready to join them. A real life shake up at CBS’ The Early Show has catapulted Chris Wragge and Jeff Glor into my sights. I’ve also been taken with the appearance of CBS newsboys on the rise like Ben Tracy and Whit Johnson.


And did you see that Thomas Roberts is clawing his way up the ladder, now over at MSNBC? True fans will remember Thomas made a delightful debut in some of my very earliest wrestling fiction posts, including taking his tag team partner, Rob Marciano, by surprise in singles competition, illustrating that Thomas is a wrestling kinkster and erotic sadist in his own right (welcome to the family, Thomas!).

Indeed, Matt Gutman broke a bitter drought for me in newsboy infatuations, completely earning him my #5 most favorite moment in blogging in 2010. As the new year approaches, I’m toasting to Matt’s good health, unbuttoned shirts, muscled arms, and a lively News Division in 2011!


Drama

The first wrestling fiction matches I wrote featured newsmen going at it in an elimination tournament. I do enjoy imagining news personalities ripping off their suits and ties and getting down and dirty in no-holds-barred battles. My latest upload to the Producer’s Ring is my take on a pro-style battle between ABC news hunks, Matt Gutman and David Muir.
These two beautiful boys made catastrophic oil spills seem somehow sexy this summer. I’m not sure who sexed up man-made environmental disaster more. For that reason alone, I tossed the two of them into the ring in my imagination to battle down until one of them comes out on top.
Because ABC News seems to be out front in maintaining a stable of lustworthy newsboys, Matt and David each arrive with a cornerman to watch their backs. Matt’s hitched up with my perpetual newsboy object-of-lust, Chris Cuomo. You knew Chris would be making another appearance in my wrestling fantasies. Don’t act surprised.

David shows up with giant man, Bill Weir as his mentor. I get the hit that Bill isn’t a simpleton news reader, and smarts are sexy, if you ask me. So in my imagination, he’s a master tactician and brains-behind-brawn, coaching young David with masterful skill.

And, as always, Carter Evans is your host with the absolute most. I’ve noticed that in real life Carter looks like he’s been putting on a few pounds lately, which could force some character adjustments (still sexy as hell… just with the beef outweighing the pretty… that could reshuffle his potential in one way or another). Carter takes advantage of his monopoly of the microphone to continue his psychological assault on the man he humiliated for the pilot tournament championship, Cuomo. Drama, drama, drama… as seems entirely appropriate for a homoerotic pro-style wrestling fantasy.