News Break – The Honeymooners

Tragically, my invitation to Gio Benitez’ wedding must have been lost in the mail. The nuptials happened without me. Happily, with a celebrity gay wedding on the card, it was well documented.

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Pucker up, Gio!

I’ve been gagging for Gio and Tommy’s budding romance ever since I first caught wind of it through Instagram a year ago. Hell, I was aching for a gay love story for Gio from the first moment I saw him hit the big leagues as an ABC news correspondent. Well before there was any confirmation of his sexual orientation, his gargantuan biceps straining the seams of his suit coats had me praying to the homoerotic wrestling gods that he’s gay and into erotic wrestling.

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The babyface muscleboys to beat!

 

My faith in the existence of the homoerotic wrestling gods is now at least partially confirmed, and his deliriously sexy husband has elevated my newsboy fantasies to new heights. Combining my long standing infatuation with the idea of tag team lovers with my even longer established, some would say inscrutable fixation on mainstream news hunks, Gio and Tommy are instantly in contention to be the hottest newsboy tag team lover champions. But, let me remind you, their competition is stiff.

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Thomas Roberts points at who he’s gunning for.

Perhaps most notable contenders were in attendance at Gio and Tommy’s wedding, specifically, CNN’s Thomas Roberts and his husband, dimpled chinned beauty Patrick Abner. I know, I know, I’ve argued in the past the Sam Champion and Rubem Robierb would be the hottest tag team lovers to face down all of Gio and Tommy’s sensational, hot, ripped muscles. But this photo of Abner & Roberts cozying up to the couple on their wedding day sure gives me the impression that Roberts is aching to get all handsy on Gio’s new ball and chain. In this newsboy tag team lover showdown, I think Tommy’s fine ass is the prize, and I’m not at all sure Gio can hold off the more mature, seasoned partners with their eyes on that prize.

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Two words: Tommy’s thighs!!!

In case you need further inspiration, Tommy and Gio jetted off immediately after the wedding to honeymoon in Bali. When you’ve got bodies like these, going somewhere tropical is your only reasonable option. They’re documenting much of the trip on instagram. I’m still waiting for the leaked sex tape, but in the mean time, sensational shirtlessness is on full display.

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Honeymoon muscles.

Yeah, Tommy. Holy fuck. Gio needs to bring his A-game, because I think double teaming hubbie’s hot body with Gio tied in the ropes would be on the mind of any tag team lover opponents. Gio’s huge pecs and arms flexing and straining against his restraints futilely as their opponents break Tommy down muscle by muscle, making him sob, making him beg, making him promise to do anything they ask if they just bring his humiliating torture to an end.  And then 3 pairs of eyes all turn their attention on trapped Gio…

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This waterfall shot grabbed my attention not only because of the generous views of both bodies on this tag team power couple, but it reminded me of shots of another celebrity gay couple on vacation from just last week.

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Young, muscled, hairy, hunky Gus Kenworthy & Matthew Wilkas

 

Olympic snowboarder Gus Kensworthy and his ripped beardaddy boyfriend Matthew Wilkas have apparently been similarly getting their hot bodies soaked at the foot of a waterfall, only in their case it was apparently in Hawaii. I’m not into coincidences.  So of course, I read Gio and Tommy’s follow up waterfall hot shots as a direct challenge to the gay fantasy couple Gus and Mattie.

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Team Gus & Mattie

Before Gio and Tommy are pumped and primed to take on Roberts and Abner, I think they’ve got their sights set on honing their honeymoon tag team lover skills all over Kenworthy and Wilkas. They may be the warm up match, but Gio and Tommy need to keep their eyes on Wilkas. There’s something about him that makes me think as outmuscled and out prettied as Gus and he may be, he’d bring some beardaddy brutality, particularly if Gus is in jeopardy.

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Still, my money is on the honeymooners.  Who do you think comes out on top?

A Year in the Life

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With 2015 coming to a close, it’s time to reminisce. I published 100 posts this year, and readers added up an astonishing 493,000 page views in 2015. Most readers (by far) find their way to the home page of neverland, tracking the most recently published posts from day to day. Fascinatingly, the second most viewed page was the About neverland page, which sort of warms my heart because it’s text intensive (so you weren’t just chasing pics) and, well, all about me and my philosophy of blogging. By far the most popular pic clicked on this year was of hot, hairy chested Damien Rush crunching out a most-muscular pose with his masked undoing hovering ominously in the background.

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Damien’s most muscular grabbed readers most.

Readers also clicked most on my review of the Gazebo Grapplers 17 match pitting jungle boy Lorenzo Lowe against hot jobber Tim Messina. You also seemed to be as infatuated with the pulse pounding 2015 debut of big, bulging, beautiful, blond, blue-eyed beefcake Biff Farrell, clicking directly through to my adoring review of his introduction to the homoerotic wrestling audience in Lon Dumont’s Wrestler Spotlight DVD. Of course, these stats are systematically biased toward older posts (you’ve had less time to rack up clicks on December posts, for example).  Which makes me think that my September review of Hunkbash 15, although only the 3rd most viewed blog post of the year, may actually turn out to be the hotttest click over time. And I can certainly understand why. I’ve nearly worn out my DVD of Logan Vaughn’s divine, titanic thighs squeezing every ounce of resistance out of every inch of supplicant-in-training Trey Dixon. There are tastes du jour and then there are exquisite, timeless dishes that we’ll be savoring for years to come, and I have to believe that Trey crushed into sweaty, slack jawed worship at the bare feet of Logan is going to be a keeper.

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Timeless!

Neverland readers originate from across the globe. English-speaking United States, the United Kingdom, and Canada are, in order, the top ranking origins of the most readers. Germany comes in fourth place with over 13,000 page views, edging out Australia. France, Japan and Mexico round out the top 8 countries of origin of homoerotic wrestling fans checking out the latest here at neverland.

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Click-throughs reveal what I’d expect. I spend most of my time reviewing BG East products, so little wonder that over 14,000 of the click-throughs this year were of readers checking out the source material at BGE. Most of the other click throughs were to brother bloggers like Wrestling Arsenal, Inner Jobber, Beefcakes of Wrestling, and Ringside at Skull Island. I do have love for more than BG East, of course, so I’m glad to see there were over 2,500 click throughs checking out source material at Can-Am, over 2,500 to Cameron Matthews‘ site, and over 1,800 to Muscle Domination Wrestling.

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The moment I get my hands on (a pic of) David Muir shirtless, you will be the first to know!

Those of you using search engines to find your way to these pages typically know what you’re looking for, most of the time using keywords “sidelineland” or “neverland wrestling.”  Fascinating me to no end, the next most common search engine keyword earning a click to neverland is “David Muir shirtless.”  Google it, and sure enough, neverland is ranked #1. Again, consider my heart strangely warmed by the newsboy love that clearly many of you share with me.  Those of you searching for a particular wrestling crush sending you this way were most likely to be seeking out Lane Hartley or Lon Dumont.

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Favorite moment #5: Gio plays for our team!

As for my favorite moments of 2015, one of the most fabulous reveals that I celebrated on the pages of this blog was my current top newsboy crush, Gio Benitez, coming out to his adoring public via Instagram photos of sunning his magnificent muscles next to his then-boyfriend Tommy DiDario. When he then documented his Paris marriage proposal via social media, getting down on one knee (Tommy said yes, of course!), a newsboy homoerotic wrestling lover champion tag team was born in my imagination. Every time I see Gio’s gargantuan biceps straining the seams of his suit coats as he reports on GMA, I no longer need to imagine what those hot, bulging muscles look like shirtless, thanks to Gio sharing the wealth and proudly showing off his, and his fiancee’s fabulous muscles in 2015. I’m still waiting for my wedding invitation.

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But seriously…

One of those little moments that probably blew right past most readers but tickled my crotch just right this year was a snarky little exchange I had with none other than BG East Boss himself, Kid Leopard back in February. In my relentless pouring over and critiquing the nominees for BG East’s 2014 Bestie Awards, I adamantly announced that Kirk Donahue did not deserve to be in the running for Best Ass. You know what a smart ass I am, so of course I poured it on thick, speculating that the eventual winner of the category ought to bend Kirk over his knee and spank that adorable, yet not outstanding ass until he confesses who he fucked to get the nomination. Well, my smart assedness earned me a firm, slighty chiding message from Kid Leopard, who I assume is nominator in chief, explaining that I was completely off base in my disregard of Kirk’s award worthy butt. Getting a virtual slap on the wrist from the Boss both tickled and aroused me so much that I promptly published a public service announcement clarifying that, with additional persuasive evidence offered by the Boss, Kirk’s ass is totally nominatible.  Of course, I was still a smart ass. And I still say Kirk’s ass is sensationally fuckable, but nowhere near deserving of a top 5 ranking in the exceedingly hot field of BG East butts.  But anytime Kid Leopard calls me into his office to slap me around a bit, it’s going to be on my list of favorite moments.

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Aussie fashion model Jarrod Scott inspired my homoerotic wrestling imagination this year.

My third favorite moment of 2015 was a little self-generated pride and joy I felt in getting my ass back to what really started neverland in the first place: writing homoerotic wrestling fiction. In August I took the flimsy excuse of Details Magazine identifying their top 31 male models, to write up a first round of homoerotic pretty boy wrestling fiction. I have yet to complete the tournament, though Sean O’Pry, John Halls, and Jarrod Scott more than ably earned their way into the semi-finals.  What may not have been as apparent on your side of the screen was the pleasure I had in getting back to exercising my homoerotic wrestling imagination. I’ve gotten back to the keyboard several times this fall, and I anticipate 2016 getting me back to the online homoerotic wrestling fiction publishing business again.  I’ll keep you updated.

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Super sexy Drake “Blogger Bait” Marcos, Ty Alexander, and Kayden Keller.

My second most favorite moment in blogging this year was the feast of homoerotic wrestler Halloween costumes I got to enjoy, and share, in early November.  Ty Alexander, Kayden Keller and Drake “Don’t-Call-Me-Jobber” Marcos partied hearty on Halloween this year and gifted you and me some hot shots of their sensationally sexy superhero costumes. By way of introducing himself to me, and by extension, you, adorably hot red-headed rookie twink Charlie Evans also sent some shots my way of his Iceman costume for Halloween this year. As soon as homoerotic wrestling studs send me unsolicited (or at least, lightly solicited) photos of themselves roaming the real world, I’m aroused and the moment is indelibly etched onto the list of most memorable moments.

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Man-of-my-dreams Scott Williams

My top, very most favorite moment in blogging for 2015 took place in the comments section.  Casual readers may not think to check the comments, but you do so at the risk of missing hot gems every so often. Such was the case when I posted one of my long, adoring, full throttle fanboy infatuation pieces on my long-time homoerotic wrestler crush, Scott Williams. Scott shared his appreciation that his fans are still gagging for it, assuring us that he is “still keeping in shape and wrestling privately here in Boston and when I travel…always will love it and will always make you proud on the mats or in the ring!” He signed his comment “Sending bearhugs – Scott Williams.”  I have since seen glimpses and snippets of evidence (follow the likes of Ty Alexander on FB, and you’ll see what I mean) that Scott is, indeed, still climbing into the ring, and he remains incredibly, profoundly, astonishingly sexy fit still today. I think it’s a crime against homoerotic wrestling fandom that Scott is keeping his wrestling work out of the publicly consumable sphere these days, and I think you should, at this very moment, send an email to BG East pleading with them to convince this classic hunk to cum out in a new release in 2016. In the meantime, that virtual bearhug from one of my longest running wrestling crushes still keeps me warm at night.

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Scott takes full possession of favorite moment #1.

So, 2016. I’m hoping it’s a year for getting back to what has been the most fun for me over the past 6 years. Be it resolved that I will publish homoerotic wrestling fiction in the coming year.  Be it also resolved that I will snag some fresh new wrestler interviews, because the lack of interviews in 2015 was, in retrospect, tragic from my perspective. I’ve also been not-so-subtly angling for an opportunity to be your Every-Joe-Fan at an honest-to-the-homoerotic-wrestling-gods taping of a match, and I see no reason why 2016 shouldn’t be the year that that invitation doesn’t show up in my mailbox. Those are a few of my hopes and dreams for the New Year. Hope yours is hot, sweaty, and includes some OTK backbreakers.

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…to you and yours.

News Break

Just a few (relatively) quick, mostly unrelated items of interest (to me).

The reigning King of the Ring, beautiful beefcake Austin (the Doctor is In) Cooper. 

First of all, have you been following Jose’s exclusive advance coverage of Rock Hard Wrestling’s imminent King of the Ring 5? RHW has not been on my speed dial recently, so I’m grateful that Jose is broadcasting the news I can use from the Rock Hard world. Defending his title as reigning King of the Ring, Austin Cooper is back and beautiful facing off against babyface muscle star Bruce Ballard. My opinions and perspectives on the upcoming title defense are woefully uninformed, so consult Jose’s breakdown of the past, present, and possible future for Coop and Bruce. Results of Jose’s fan poll sincerely surprised me, but as for me, as with King of the Ring 4, Coop is my sentimental favorite to slap beefy Bruce down and put him in his place. I will say that regardless of who wins, there is something super sexy about a classic muscleman in trunks with a championship belt hanging across his big, bulging shoulder. Yum!

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Ty Alexander: the gift that keeps on giving!

Speaking of yum, did you celebrate Ty Alexander’s birthday last week?  Judging by the hundreds of birthday wishes stuffed into his Facebook feed, probably the chances are you did. In case not, I have it on good authority that Ty is accepting adoring attention every day of the year.

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… and giving, and giving…

I often wonder about a day in the life of my favorite homoerotic wrestling infatuations.  I have to guess that, for Ty, an average birthday includes unwrapping tons of wrestling gear from fawning fans, based on the perpetual wrestling fashion show Ty gives us displaying an unending supply of bubble butt beautiful trunks, singlets, thongs and jock straps. I sent my birthday wishes (no gear, sorry Ty) last week, but honestly, every day is a special day whenever Ty strips down and shows off his tight, sexy wrestling bod.

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Tommy DiDario and Gio Benitez take Hawaii (and me, anyday).

And speaking of news, ongoing newsboy crush Gio Benitez and his fiancé Tommy DiDario recently returned from a sun soaked Hawaiian vacation. I, for one, would like to insist that these two gorgeous muscle hunks always vacation in hot, sunny locations, because there was so much lush, beautiful shirtless muscle on display! I keep waiting for my invitation to their wedding, but I console myself in the mean time returning to one of my favorite pastimes, handicapping celebrity lover tag teams in my homoerotic wrestling imagination. The quality of beef on display and the increasing generosity of sharing make me think that Gio and Tommy are odds on favorites to double team and flex their way to a number one ranking. As of this particular moment, I think the championship would climax with side-by-side tandem tombstone piledrivers as prelude to Gio’s face sitting 3 count pin on Sam Champion while tasty Tommy flexes in victory with his sweet ass planted atop Sam’s husband’s handsome mug. Pumped and fired up to claim the titles, Gio lustfully tackles his beautiful bon bon to the mat, right in the middle of their unconscious opponents, for a crotch grinding make out session.

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Pecs. Those fucking sensational pecs…

So yeah, thanks Hawaii.

Newsbreak

I have a special message to all the killjoys who say wishful thinking is a waste of time: suck on this, bitches!

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Gay or straight, one thing was always for certain: Gio is fucking hot!

I once pined away for shirtless pics of those bulging biceps and obviously meaty pecs straining the seams of Gio Benetiz’ fabulously tailored suit coats, and then, my whispered prayers heard, beefcake Benitez started sharing shots of most of his muscled glory.

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Tommy DiDario started working up a sweat with Gio recently.

And of course I’ve been wishing and praying to the homoerotic wrestling gods for 2 years for the Latino beefcake news pin-up boy to be a certified ‘mo. And in recent weeks, like the rumble of the gods preparing to scatter manna from heaven, a certain sizzling hot hunk started showing up side by side with Gio in his Instagram photos, working up a lather of sweat and baby oil on the beach, sight-seeing, hiking. Sure, statistically speaking, it was probably likely that Gio wasn’t a member of the family, and that this was some hottie birds of a feather flocking together coincidence, because even young and pretty straight boys seem to gravitate toward one another.

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On bended knee!?

Then emails started pouring in yesterday alerting me to the photo of Gio on bended knee at the Eiffel Tower holding said hunk’s hand. This is social media reality, of course, so we have Instagram photos and relatively vague captions, but, fuck, yes, and yes, it appears that Gio not only plays for our team, so does his ripped muscle hunk fiancee!

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Yep, I think Gio very well may be gay…

As someone already commented on my last post obsessing about Gio, yes, this certainly would seem to demand a starring role for these two in a homoerotic wrestling tag team fiction playing in my mind already and, the homoerotic wrestling gods willing, on the pages of this blog soon. Merging so many of my fondest gay wrestling fantasies, can we linger just a little on the idea of Gio and his balls-and-chain, wearing nothing but jock straps and smiles, facing off against rising NBC news star Thomas Roberts and his prettyboy husband sporting itty-bitty bikini bottoms?

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Patrick Abner (l) and his NBC Newshunk husband Thomas Roberts (r) need to sort out who’s the hottest newsboy lover on air in the ring.

I’m already there, of course, and given the evidence that if I wish for something hard enough, it WILL happen, I’m devoting hours a day to this fantasy starting now. If… nay, when this becomes a reality, which lovers would come out on top?

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A winning combo?

Then, of course, there’s Sam Champion and his Brazilian hunk husband…

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Clearly, gay newboys and their husbands love the beach.

Newsbreak

Throwback Thursday yesterday reminded me that I haven’t crushed on hot newsmen in a little while. For those who are just tuning in, I have long argued that mainstream news media outlets have conceded that sex sells, and the really adept newsrooms have been promoting hot hunks to give us something sweet to make the medicine of today’s events go down a little easier. I first started hitting on this subject when Good Morning America put their then-newsreader Chris Cuomo in a dunking booth and made sure we got to see his tight white t-shirt soaked to the skin overtop his bulging pecs.

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The glorious state of morning news programs: Chris Cuomo’s rippling muscles beneath a soaking, wetly transparent undershirt (circa 2009).

There was a time when I played with the homoerotic male news tease as a “what-if” concept. I’ve written homoerotic wrestling stories exaggerating the theme for you and me in particular. I’ve intentionally allowed myself to “read into” the subtext of big, beautiful, beefy boys nailing positions in front of the news cameras as a device for sexing up and turning on the portion of their audience titillated by male beauty. But somewhere along the line, I think reality overtook my imagination.  It doesn’t take much imagination at all to recognize that hardbodied hotties behind the news desks and on assignment are a thing. No longer are we turning to grey haired, grandfatherly types with jowls and expressionless faces to convey trustworthiness. In these post-structural days of impossible-to-escape subjectivity, the old boys, later replaced by the not quite  young pretty girls, are now giving way to young, pretty, conventionally handsome hunks with big muscles.

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These days, Chris Cuomo can’t stop flexing those gargantuan guns!

So for today’s news break, let’s get caught up on a few of my newsboy infatuations who have been dropping more and more pretense and proving more and more explicitly that they know why we’re tuning in. They know what we’re looking at. And I’m confident that they’re getting just a little turned on by being exhibitionist hunks squarely in our crushing gaze.

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It’s about the fish. Yeah. Right. (look at the vacularity in Cuomo’s deltoids!) 

The newsboy hunk I’ve prattled on about longest is, as I mentioned, Chris Cuomo.  Now with CNN, formerly with ABC, Cuomo is, yes indeed, the younger brother of the current (and a former) New York State governor. A reader once mistook my infatuation for the Gov, but rest assured, I’m all about the younger Cuomo.  Chris has owned a special place in the homoeroticization of news in particular for his frequent shirtless fishing pics he posts.

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Uh-huh. It’s about the fish.

These days, there’s less and less merely implied about our cravings for his hot, bulging bod. He writes a column for a fitness mag.  He posts videos of gym workouts. And I came across (pun intended) these video clips that prove Chris both knows we’re noticing his big, juicy muscles and he’s more than happy to stoke those fires with muscle teasing.  This first clip is a little hard to see, but it’s Chris videoing a close up of his big, flexed bicep staring us in the face as he imitates James Earl Jones’ deep throated voiceover introduction to his network.

This didn't really work video wise but the voice sounds good – so let's go with it.

A post shared by Christopher C. Cuomo (@chrisccuomo) on

Tell me, would you have wanted to see Walter Cronkite role up his sleep and muscle tease his audience? No, Chris is a big, hardbodied newsboy hunk of the 21st century, when we like them not only ridiculously good looking and sexy fit, but showing it off. Then there’s this second clip I came across from his reporting from the World Cup from last year. I’d noticed his hot, bulging muscles squeezed into that jersey in still frame, but I’d missed this video of him.  I’m not exaggerating so watch this now, because, no shit, Chris Cuomo is explicitly taunting us by bouncing his big, meaty pec.

Hearts beating for #TeamUSA #IBelieve #USMNT #Brazil2014 #WorldCup

A post shared by Christopher C. Cuomo (@chrisccuomo) on

Yes, that’s what I tune into the news for! Frankly, Chris can’t stop flexing.  Sure, there are fresh new fishing shots (iconically Chris Cuomo) in which he rolls up his sleeve before he holds up his catch, to show off those peaked biceps. But he’s also showing off his sexy goofy hotness flashing a gasp-worthy double bicep in celebration of his 45th birthday this past week.

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I know exactly what those massive biceps should be doing every damn day…

Hell, yes.  Just try to stop me from imagining that heavy artillery pounding some other news hottie in the ring.

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Clawing his way to the top of the ABC news heap, hottie David Muir is ready for any takers.

The top echelons of national news are rife with industry intrigue. Not everyone was expecting young David Muir, who always looks ripped from the pages of a last-decade Abercrombie catalog, to land the evening news anchor desk. He did though, and I’m not ashamed to admit I tune in more often just to soak in his dazzling hotness.  David has been a little more coy about showing off his bod than Chris Cuomo is. But he does it.  And clearly, it’s his chiseled triceps he’s most proud of.

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Just this morning, filling in on GMA, David took the opportunity so squeeze into a short sleeve shirt 2 sizes too small and make sure the cameraman got his favorite, flexed tricep in the pic.
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It’s all about the triceps.

Strip them down to speedos and lets see how painfully pretty Muir stacks up against 6’2″ Italian stallion Cuomo. David is long, lean and strong. If it were a marathon match, he’d be slapping on a front-face sleeper on a gasping, exhausted Chris before it was all over.  Which is why Chris would make sure this doesn’t go the distance, with one high impact move after another, body slamming, clothes-lining, and suplexing David’s magnificent body all over the ring. I predict Cuomo takes the match with a rag doll full nelson submission, but Muir would make him work for it. Hard.

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Gio Benitez appears to have his eye on a particular baby blue-eyed muscleboy!

And speaking of working it hard, Gio Benitez has certainly been my biggest newsboy crush in recent months. His desk colleagues at Good Morning America have openly called out Gio’s bulging, hot bod, and producers keep insisting he cover “features” that require him to get soaking wet. There’s been a ton of speculation about where Gio’s lustful gaze lands (okay, I’m sure I’m projecting there, but I know I’m not the only one), but I’ve not been able to find any confirmation one way or another whose team he bats for.  However, checking out his online pictorial archives, I’m noticing a certain sky blue-eyed slice of beefcake heaven appearing more and more frequently in his Instagram feed, including being featured prominently in Gio’s recent beach vacation photos.  If he doesn’t play for our team, or at the very least is a switch hitter, he’s the most sexually secure straight Latino man on the planet.

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A tag team partnership made in homoerotic wrestling heaven.

I’ve speculated long and hard on the fireworks that a Cuomo v Benitez ring battle would incite. Fuck, Cuomo and Benitez have explicitly been comparing fitness and muscle fans. As for me, I’m sure muscle daddy Chris would demand face-to-crotch headscissors forcing Gio to suck on the agony while staring up at the Italian stallion flexing his biceps and pecs back at him. Gio’s blue-eyed, hotly muscled beefy “friend” would interfere from outside the ring, because no homoerotic wrestler wants to see his lover tag partner getting completely owned by a domineering muscle beast. Sooner or later, though, Cuomo’s got them both stacked into the corner and spearing the fuck out of them with shoulder blocks. A figure-4 sleeper putting down Gio and one of those coiling pythons choking out baby blue-eyes at the same time, and Cuomo is left flexing in victory atop both of them.

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What road?

My other low boil newsboy hunk crush is Mr. GQ, Matt Gutman. This son of a bitch is downright stingy with his beefcake shots, which I guarantee you is a factor in why he’s been struggling for airtime at ABC with Gio’s dazzling star on the rise. But ABC news producers have also treated us to making Mattie get wet, many times, including one segment in which we get a glimpse of his fabulously furry, ripped, sensational bare torso. Of his more recent postings, one thing is for sure. That lush head of hair and sexy as fuck furrowed brow can make any terror fade into the background for me.

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What forest fire?

Here’s where things get seriously interesting in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.  Mattie’s got some ice in his veins and heartless mystery about him that make me think what he gives up in sheer brawn to Cuomo, he may just make up for elsewhere. I picture him a smooth operator, chill. A graceful flyer who can plant a flat footed standing drop kick squarely into the Italian juggernaut’s collarbones.  Chris muscles him around because, fuck, this is Mr. Muscle we’re talking about. But I say Gutman is the man with the plan, crippling the Italian stallion with a knee-snapping figure-4 and then exploiting a masterful ground game and, sure, some illegal use of the ropes, to wear Cuomo out. He submits to a reach from behind nut claw that the hairy correspondent uses to make Chris crawl on his hands and knees around the ring in weeping humiliation.

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I may need to towel off now. Can I borrow yours, Matt?

My thanks to the postmodern era for delivering newsboys who would have been muscle mag coverboys just 50 years ago.

2014 in the Rear-View Mirror

Facebook has been offering to package a graphic presentation of how great 2014 was for me. FB doesn’t know shit. Despite ending on a bad note, though, it is certainly true that a lot of great things happened in recently past year. Remembering the best helps put the worst in perspective, so here are my top 10 favorite moments of 2014.

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10. In May, Gio Benitez posted a desperately anticipated (by me) shirtless pic. Hot newsboys always grab my attention and stick in my memory, and the dubiously philanthropic fad of dumping buckets of icewater on oneself provided some sweet teases of hot newsboy muscles this year, including Gio and David Muir. But no news was quite so newsworthy as beefy sophomore newsboy Gio Benitez releasing a group photo with him right in the middle showing off his bare, beautiful, meaty pecs.

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Jose made sure I also saw this sweet tease Gio released for New Year, with Gio’s muscles pumping and bulging as fellow fantasy man Ryan Hughes “trains” him.

9. In March I enjoyed a novel interview with adorable rookie jobber Ty Alexander all about homoerotic wrestling fashion.  It was the first fashion-themed interview I’ve done, and Ty was all earnestness and adorability in dishing out fashion advice and sharing copious photos of his personal collection, both with his bodacious bubble butt in and out of them.  Ty continues to impress me as a true native of the homoerotic wrestling universe, and I keep warning Drake Marcos to keep an eye out for this ingenue rising from the fresh meat counter to pick off more established young talents as the young wrestling stud on top of the fan-crush pile.  Sure, with Ty it’s all about fashion. And wrestling. And, well, Ty. Just what will he get up to in 2015, one wonders…

 

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8. In May, Clint Morgan sat down with me for a compelling and controversial interview. It should come as no surprise that brutal beast Clint pulls no punches, musing on both the dos and don’ts of the homoerotic wrestling world according to Clint. I’m still praying for that rip-and-strip match between Clint and Tyrell Tomsen to be realized in 2015… in my living room.

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7. There are a few wrestlers who I have been angling to interview for a while. Perhaps in 2015 I’ll finally nail down some of those nasty cock teases. But a highlight of 2014 was the reward of tenacity and ingenuity to overcome unusual obstacles and have a thoughtful interview with giant killer Jayden Mayne in October. Hollywood handsome and shockingly brutal, wiry Jayden has plan to beef up and knock the legs out from underneath more big bruisers in the coming year. Cannot wait!

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6. In May, homoerotic wrestling fanatic and friend of neverland, Jose, launched his sensational, bilingual homoerotic wrestling blog, La Sustancia P. Jose has carved out a delightful corner of all of the musings about the wrestling we love that’s all his own. The charts and lists and unstoppable powers of deduction bring the art of a homoerotic wrestling infatuation firmly into the realm of science. And science never, ever turned me on as hard as when I’m reading La Sustancia P.

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5. August saw the fulfillment of a long-dreamed of moment for me, the on camera appearance of Kid Karisma’s naked ass. The answer of how many times must Kid K win the “best butt” year-end award before those glutes show up unobstructed is 2. In Undagear 22, my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler burned up the mat and crushed and demolished lucky, lucky, lucky Ray Naylor brutally. In a moment of generosity, though, Kid K celebrated his victory by peeling off his sweat soaked undagear and strolling slowly off the mat, bare assed and epically beautiful. I’m hoping this story arc swings into 2015 with actual bare assed, full contact wrestling action from Kid Karisma.

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4. Some interviews are the result of begging, pleading and stealing on my part. And then some of my favorite interviews absolutely fall into my lap. When Chuck Flying Tiger Collins dropped me a note appreciating this blog in November, I snapped up the opportunity eagerly. Chatting with the Flying Tiger was like sitting down with an old friend, the back and forth flowing easily. Where I’m often battling nerves during interviews, Chuck had me kicking up my feet and coasting delightfully through the past, present and potential future of homoerotic wrestling. And then I nearly fell off my seat when Chuck sent me a couple of photos of his shirtless self today. Damn, damn, damn, I’m aching to see a Flying Tiger comeback in 2015!

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3. In February I saddled up for my first three-way interview, sitting down with both Mason Brooks and Drake Marcos. Coming off of their sizzling hot Passion and Punishment match, I was counting my lucky stars to get to deconstruct their phenomenal confrontation from both handsome hunks’ perspectives. Little did I know I’d have a tiger by the tail in trying to steer both cocky studs through the same conversation. And while I was fully expecting Mason and Drake to throw shade each other’s way, I was sincerely shocked to find Drake irked and annoyed at me, despite my every effort to heap praise and adoration on the world class jobber boy. The interview turned into one of my favorite moments of the year for both the hotness I knew would ensue, as well as the heat that took me entirely by surprise.

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2. Speaking of unexpected, my October interview with Shane McCall was simply the hottest interview I’ve ever conducted. I’ve been a slack jawed fanboy of Shane’s from the first moment I discovered BG East. So my heart was already a-fluttering from the get-go when I started talking with him about his epic return to the ring in Catch Weight 6, where he had some harsh words (and harsher holds) for cocky young jobber Ty Alexander.  Shane’s retrospective on his early days in wrestling, his insights into the spirit and spirituality of homoerotic wrestling, and his candid thoughts about the near future of the business had me hard, but when Shane sucked me into his big, hairy, bear daddy fantasies, I was literally swooning. I had to hydrate often and towel often even more often, and if you’ve read the interview, it should come as little surprise it was a highlight of my year/decade. Shane also sent me New Year’s best wishes with this photo (above) attached, proving once again he can bend my back across his knee and go to town on my abs any day or night he wants!

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1. Hands down my favorite moment of the year was meeting Drake Marcos and climbing into the BG East ring to settle a blogger v wrestler score that was brewing all year long. The whole visit was outstanding, and the entire match, including getting crushed hard between Drake’s crazy sexy legs, was thrilling. But if I had to narrow the whole thing down to that one, distinct, pristine moment that rises to the top, the very best of the best was stepping back to admire the jobber trapped in the ropes, then grabbing my phone in one hand and a handful of Drake’s hair in the other and snapping this keepsake.

So, sure it was “a year to remember” for so many reasons, and even this little jaunt down memory lane turns me on with memories that will surely get me hard for years to come. When it comes to outstandingly memorable moments in homoerotic wrestling blogging, I’d go so far as to say that this one is going to be very tough to beat. But I’m holding out hope that 2015 will have even more awesome, outstanding moments in store.  Thanks to all of the fine men who were part of this year’s fun, including all of the hunks who let me interview them, all of my fellow bloggers who kept me informed and motivated, and one particular vanquished buck who proved once again that the pen, and my chokehold, are mightier than the jobber.

Potpourri

Today I’m tossing together several little odds and ends that all smell so nice.  For example, a few weeks ago I was watching Good Morning America and caught this slice of hotness reporting across lines as ABC and Univision are mashing up their news for white people with their new news for Latinos who don’t speak Spanish so well (to be clear, I’m not making fun.  I think this makes perfect sense), Fusion.

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Fusion reporter Pedro Andrade

 

 

Pedro Andrade was fully clothed and wearing a sports coat, but holy fuck there was something pristinely erotic and nakedly raw about this hunk’s beautiful brown eyes and those full, luscious lips seductively stretched in a lopsided grin. Thank the homoerotic wrestling gods I live in the age when I can instantly scratch my itch and look up this reporter to see if there are any shirtless shots.  Mind you, shirtless pics of mainstream news reporters can often be very rare nuggets of gold that require sifting through google images for days on end (been there. often.).  This was, however, not a problem when it comes to ridiculously attractive Pedro.

 

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I believe as unadulterated fact anything this man has to tell me, as long as he’s shirtless.

 

 

Apparently his first career was as a model. Or still is.  I’m confident that there’s an extensive backstory to how this slice of gold showed up on a national network news team, and I’m fairly certain that someone who reads this blog will fill me in. Whatever “news” is today, it’s populated increasingly by overtly sexy, crotch warming hotties. And I know I speak for many when I say that the rise of the hardbodied Latino news hunk is long overdue and deeply, profoundly arousing. And knowing of my penchant for casting news personalities in homoerotic wrestling fiction, it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that my mind instantly pictures infinitely fuckable Pedro first going pec to pec against, then tag teaming with, ABC’s resident Latino powerhouse muscle hunk, Gio Benitez.  Now that would be a match made in homoerotic wrestling heaven!

 

 

 

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Pedro says, “Bring it!” (or however that’s translated into Portuguese).

 

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Gio is fluent in Spanish, but I think wrapping those massive pythons around Pedro’s head should probably speak for itself.

 

Adding to the sweet aroma of hot wrestling hunks, let me pass along a hot little gem that showed up from one of the sexiest-assed wrestling fairies ever known to man (who shall remain nameless, but not unthanked).  Forwarded to me is the link to artist Ben McNutt‘s new installation over at VICE, entitled “Undying Homoeroticism in Wrestling.”  The VICE title “Wrestling is Gay” is such flamer bait, but then again, this is art, so begin provoked is almost certainly the point. However, for the likes of you and me, there’s a pace and power to Ben’s juxtaposition of words and images that reaches a hand deep inside my kink-soul and lets the eroticism of wrestling drizzle through his fingers like fine jewels.

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Check out the VICE piece as well as the artist’s body of work that appears to have a  persistent wrestling them woven through it.

Inexplicably, Drake bristles at being called "a sweet jobber."
Inexplicably, Drake bristles at being called “a sweet jobber.”

Finally to add a little jobber musk to this potpourri, let me quickly respond to a few inquiries I’ve received asking if my account of getting my hands on BG East jobber extraordinaire, Drake Marcos, was a work of fiction or fact. I get it, of course, because I have transparently written wrestling fiction with me as protagonist on the pages of this blog, typically around the New Year each year.  And Drake has been entirely silent since sucking on his own sweat soaked trunks at the end of our match. To be clear and forthcoming, particularly in the absence of Drake stepping up and owning how he got owned, let me say unequivocally and declaratively that yes, my ring encounter with Drake Marcos did, indeed happen. My accounting of the highly enjoyable battle was unembellished. And really, after all his bluster and smirks over the past year, do you blame the handsome stud for slinking into a hole for a couple of weeks to nurse his battered ego after a blogger owned him, trussed him up, and left him in a pool of his own copious sweat?

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Yeah, that never gets old.

 

So suck down the sweet aroma of random homoerotic wrestling thoughts and images and have a provocative, arousing day, my friends.