Just to recap, I was inspired by a recent Details magazine cover featuring their 31 “hottest” male fashion models of the upcoming season. It’s not the first time I’ve transplanted the very definition of “pretty boys” into my homoerotic wrestling fiction. Won’t be the last. Thus far, American Sean O’Pry beat Brit beauty Will Chalker with a 3-count cock pin, and Brit footballer John Halls pumped out a last millisecond forced-to-cum victory over a surprisingly adept sex gladiator Hamid Onifade. On Monday, you were invited to vote for who you want to see win in the next match, pitting Canadian media star Noah Mills against mustachioed Aussie Jarrod Scott. Finally, a reader emailed me (thanks, JH!) to offer his take on the means of victory in this match, which I happily incorporate into my vision of how this all unfolds…
Even as the bell rings, Noah and Jarrod are circling the ring, sizing one another up. They’re evenly matched in height, with Jarrod owning no more than about 5 pounds of additional super-lean muscle mass on the Canadian. As they press toward one another in the center of the ring, reaching for a collar and elbow, Noah smoothly grabs the Aussie’s left wrist and ducks behind him, twisting the captured arm hard and high up Jarrod’s back. Jarrod grimaces in pain, slapping his left shoulder and trying to turn his torso to relieve the pressure. Noah glances down at the Aussie’s naked bum, two beautifully muscled globes framed by the narrow straps of his jock. “I love the gear choice,” Noah coos in Jarrod’s ear. “Easy access once I’ve made you my bitch.” With a growl, the Aussie ducks and steps backward, reversing the hammerlock and shoving Noah’s wrist so high it makes the Canadian bounce on the balls of his feet. “Don’t bet on it!” he rumbles.
Just as Noah starts to shift his weight to reverse again, Jarrod jabs his bare right foot directly behind his opponent’s right knee. Noah drops like a grain sack to his knees, and instantly the Aussie wraps his bulging left arm across Noah’s throat, maintaining the hammerlock with his right hand. “Oh, fuck you’re making this easy, son,” Jarrod chuckles, squeezing his opponent’s throat tight and making Noah’s eyes bulge in panic. Ref Jared Prudoff hovers nearby, watching the action closely for an early submission or choke out. Noah clutches at the Aussie’s choking left arm with his free hand, but the panic really sets in as his opponent releases the hammerlock and drops to his right knee, digging his left knee into the Canadian’s back while bending him backward. Swiftly shifting the position of his arm, Jarrod bears down on a dragon sleeper, stretching Noah’s muscled torso out beautifully. “You’re just rolling over for it now, aren’t you?” the Aussie chuckles. “You walked in here desperate to get my cock up your ass, now didn’t you?” He stretches his arm forward, stroking the palm of his hand slowly down the ridges of his opponent’s stretched abs and playfully tugging at the bulging pouch of Noah’s red bikini briefs. The ref drops to one knee behind the Aussie, next to Noah’s beet red face. “Give?” he asks. The Canadian can’t talk, but his opponent answers for him. “Oh, fuck, no!” Jarrod snarls, unceremoniously dropping Noah to his back and climbing to his feet. “I haven’t had near enough fun yet.”
The arching bulge in Jarrod’s pouch suggests the fun has begun for him, though. He leans over and drags his sputtering opponent up to his feet, shoves him in the chest, and throws him into the ring ropes. Noah bounces off and takes a savage clothesline across his throat, slamming him back down to the mat violently. Jarrod chuckles, watching him writhe and kick in agony, clutching his abused throat. Again, he bends forward and drags Noah up by a handful of damp, sweaty hair. He shoves him in the chest, sending him bouncing off the ropes again. Smoothly, he hooks his right arm between Noah’s sprinting legs and his left arm across his collarbone, scooping him up and using the Canadian’s own momentum to swing him high into the air before power slamming him down to the mat with a bang. Noah is momentarily motionless, his face screwed up in pain, eyes shut tightly. As Jarrod climbs to his feet, Noah starts shuddering in choked sobs, arching his lower back off the mat. ‘Too easy,” the Aussie mumbles, momentarily shoving his right hand into his jock pouch and throttling his cock eagerly. Again, he bends forward and drags his nearly defenseless opponent up by his hair, shoves him in the chest, and sends Noah into, and then catapulting off the ropes. Facing him square on, Jarrod wraps his muscled arms around his opponent and hoists him high up off his feet in a brutal bearhug. Noah digs his knees into his opponent’s hips to try to release a fraction of the pressure bearing down on his lower back. Noah cocks his fist and pulls it up in preparation for punch to the face, but Jarrod blocks the maneuver by simply shaking the captured Canadian violently back and forth like a rag doll. “Oh, I don’t think so, son!” Jarrod chuckles, hoisting his opponent higher up in his grip, grinding his arms into Noah’s kidneys and leaving him hanging head and shoulders over the Aussie’s right shoulder. “This meat’s starting to brown, ref, you might want to check and see if he’s done now!”
“Do you give?” the ref barks at the back of Noah’s head hanging limply down the muscled upper back of his tormentor. No response “Do you give, Noah?” the ref repeats the question louder, checking whether the Canadian has passed out. As if in response, suddenly Noah stretches his arms down Jarrod’s back and grabs the straps of the Aussie’s jock, violently yanking them up Jarrod’s crack. “Aw, FUCK!” Jarrod shouts furiously, dropping his opponent in shock. Suddenly grabbing him by the back of the head with both hands, Noah drives his right knee up, brutally bashing into the Aussie’s balls. Jarrod’s knees buckle. He crumples to the ground in a heap, clutching his balls. Swinging his right knee smoothly across his body, Noah lands a skull crunching knee strike to Jarrod’s right cheek. The Aussie slams to his side, his right hand clutching his balls, his left hand cradling his throbbing face.
Jared (the ref, that is) is close at hand, checking whether the Aussie can continue. He’s not about to throw in the towel, but also can’t pry himself up off the mat for a good minute and a half, as his opponent shakes off his early struggles and builds up a head of steam. Noah finally descends on his opponent, who’s managed to reach his hands and knees. Up by a handful of hair, Noah shoves him in the chest and forces Jarrod into and bouncing off the ropes. The Canadian’s clothesline literally flips Jarrod summersaulting in mid-air, landing with a wet slap of sweaty flesh. “Fucking TOO EASY!” Noah snarls, spitting on his opponent’s back. Hands on hips, sucking down air, Noah takes a quick lap around his opponent before dragging him up by a handful of hair again. Again, he shoves him into the ropes, deftly scooping him up on the rebound and delivering a picture-perfect retribution power slam. Clearly exhausted, Noah lies there on top of his opponent long enough for the ref to drop to the mat and slap down a 2 count. “No!” Noah snarls, grabbing his opponent’s mustache between his thumbs and forefingers and dragging him off the mat screaming in pain. “Not enough fun!” Noah shouts in the ref’s face. “He wants more fucking fun!” Thrown into and bouncing off the ropes again, Jarrod sprints into Noah’s waiting embrace, hoisted up off his feet in a bearhug. Jarrod’s face screws up in agony. His back arches in pain. He digs his knees into Noah’s hips defensively. “Give?” the ref barks.
It doesn’t matter. Noah can’t hold the bearhug. He stumbles backward, letting go before tumbling to the mat entirely. Both models struggle to peel themselves up. Noah is first to his feet, but as he reaches down to grab his opponent by the hair, Jarrod grabs hold of the waist of Noah’s red bikini briefs and pulls hard. Noah loses his balance and stumbles forward, through the bottom two ropes and tumbling outside the ring. “Back in the ring!” the ref barks commandingly. As Noah slowly climbs up to his feet, one knee perched on the ring apron to pull himself up, Jarrod bolts to his feet, grabs the back of Noah’s head with both hands, and drops to his knees, choking the Canadian across the throat with the top rope. When he lets go, Noah is catapulted backward off the ring apron again, landing in a heap on the floor below. “I said inside the ring, boys!” the ref barks angrily.
Noah crawls determinedly back to the ring apron, pulling himself up, one knee, then the next, using the ropes. But when he reaches his feet, Jarrod’s elbow to the face makes him spin around, knees buckling, reaching for the ropes to hold him up. Deftly, Jarrod pulls the middle rope up and over his opponent’s shoulders, tying up him up. “Almost back in the ring,” the ref chides. Jarrod ignores him, stepping through the ropes and standing in front of his trussed up opponent. “Yeah, I still want some more fun!” the Aussie snarls. He digs his fingertips into Noah’s pecs, yanking savagely at the muscle. The Canadian screams. The ref is calling for a break in the hold, a return to action inside the ring. Jarrod ignores him, digging at Noah’s flesh relentlessly. Sweat pouring from his brow, finally he lets go. Prying Noah’s face upward by a handful of hair, he stares at his opponent’s handsome, slack face. “Oh yeah, I want more fun,” he snarls, forcefully planting an violent kiss across Noah’s open mouth. Both of the Aussie’s hands dive into the front of Noah’s briefs. His left hand cupping his balls, his right hand starting to jerk him off, Noah gasps mid-kiss, his hips pulling backward. Jarrod pulls his mouth away. “More fun,” he mutters, dropping to the floor and yanking his opponent’s bikini briefs down his long legs in the process.
“Inside the ring,” the ref repeats ineffectually. Jarrod wraps his left arm behind Noah’s waist and pulls him forward, starting to crank on his swelling cock again with his right hand. “Oh yeah, this is more fun,” Jarrod smirks, spitting into this hand as he jerks his opponent’s cock to full mast. Noah groans in a panic, feeling himself careening to an orgasm. Abruptly, Jarrod lets go, making his opponent whimper. “Yeah, yeah,” Jarrod interrupts the ref before he can repeat himself, “let’s take this back inside the ring!” Climbing through the ropes, he releases Noah’s arms and drags the Canadian’s sagging, naked body back inside the ring. “Fun, fun, fun,” Jarrod mutters with a smile as he pulls Noah to his feet. Another lingering kiss makes Noah’s eyes flutter, his knees buckling, held up only by his opponent’s arms around his waist. Suddenly bending to his right, Jarrod wraps his arms around Noah’s waist, flipping the Canadian upside as he stands erect. Suspended in mid-air, upside down, Noah is incoherent when Jarrod wraps his lips around his rock hard cock. The Aussies sucks so hard it makes Noah’s back arch involuntarily. He’s losing control, his balls starting to constrict, on the brink of cumming.
Until suddenly Jarrod drops to his knees, pile driving the top of Noah’s head savagely into the mat. Noah crumples to the mat in a heap, before being quickly thrown to his back by his opponent. Licking his lips, Jarrod smirks, “That’s about all the fun I’m in the mood for.” He grabs Noah’s right ankle and folds him up, leaning back and planting his naked, muscled ass across his opponent’s unconscious face. “Let’s do this!” the Aussie barks at the ref. Jarod Prudoff slaps down a deliberate, unhurried 3-count. It could be 50 for all Noah will remember. The ref grabs Jarrod’s right wrist and pulls him to his feet, hand over head in victory.
Way to go, Jarrod, and thanks again to JH for that cock sucking reverse piledriver finisher! I’m allowing one more pair of elite fashion model pretty boys to try to claim a spot in the semi final round of the Hottest of the Hottest competition. Out of 31 studs on the cover of Details, it’s tough to narrow the field down to just 8. But that’s the kind of high pressure decisions you pay me to make. So for the last round, climbing into the ring with our illustrious hunk ref Jared Prudoff, are the final two contenders for the title.
Daisuke Ueda is the lone Asian contender for the title, which is emblematic of our Western biases about masculinity and male beauty, I’m sure. The 28 year old Japanese hunk is astonishingly lean with that 6’1″ frame. He wears a simple black speedo and nothing else as he stretches in one corner of the ring, staring across at his opponent.
Said opponent is 6’2″ senior statesman of the field at 43 years old, Swedish bombshell Alex Lundqvist. At just one inch taller, he packs on 20 pounds more ripped muscle mass than his opponent. The Nordic hunk wears very brief baby blue trunks and a matching blue elbow wrap around on his left arm. He jogs in place, warming up his muscles, as his big pecs bounce eagerly.
The ref calls for the bell, and…
Unlike the last match, this is a face off of contrasts. Who do you see having his wrist raised in homoerotic wrestling victory? Vote below, and comment with your suggestions about precisely what victory looks like between Daisuke and Alex.