News Break – The Honeymooners

Tragically, my invitation to Gio Benitez’ wedding must have been lost in the mail. The nuptials happened without me. Happily, with a celebrity gay wedding on the card, it was well documented.

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Pucker up, Gio!

I’ve been gagging for Gio and Tommy’s budding romance ever since I first caught wind of it through Instagram a year ago. Hell, I was aching for a gay love story for Gio from the first moment I saw him hit the big leagues as an ABC news correspondent. Well before there was any confirmation of his sexual orientation, his gargantuan biceps straining the seams of his suit coats had me praying to the homoerotic wrestling gods that he’s gay and into erotic wrestling.

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The babyface muscleboys to beat!

 

My faith in the existence of the homoerotic wrestling gods is now at least partially confirmed, and his deliriously sexy husband has elevated my newsboy fantasies to new heights. Combining my long standing infatuation with the idea of tag team lovers with my even longer established, some would say inscrutable fixation on mainstream news hunks, Gio and Tommy are instantly in contention to be the hottest newsboy tag team lover champions. But, let me remind you, their competition is stiff.

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Thomas Roberts points at who he’s gunning for.

Perhaps most notable contenders were in attendance at Gio and Tommy’s wedding, specifically, CNN’s Thomas Roberts and his husband, dimpled chinned beauty Patrick Abner. I know, I know, I’ve argued in the past the Sam Champion and Rubem Robierb would be the hottest tag team lovers to face down all of Gio and Tommy’s sensational, hot, ripped muscles. But this photo of Abner & Roberts cozying up to the couple on their wedding day sure gives me the impression that Roberts is aching to get all handsy on Gio’s new ball and chain. In this newsboy tag team lover showdown, I think Tommy’s fine ass is the prize, and I’m not at all sure Gio can hold off the more mature, seasoned partners with their eyes on that prize.

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Two words: Tommy’s thighs!!!

In case you need further inspiration, Tommy and Gio jetted off immediately after the wedding to honeymoon in Bali. When you’ve got bodies like these, going somewhere tropical is your only reasonable option. They’re documenting much of the trip on instagram. I’m still waiting for the leaked sex tape, but in the mean time, sensational shirtlessness is on full display.

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Honeymoon muscles.

Yeah, Tommy. Holy fuck. Gio needs to bring his A-game, because I think double teaming hubbie’s hot body with Gio tied in the ropes would be on the mind of any tag team lover opponents. Gio’s huge pecs and arms flexing and straining against his restraints futilely as their opponents break Tommy down muscle by muscle, making him sob, making him beg, making him promise to do anything they ask if they just bring his humiliating torture to an end.  And then 3 pairs of eyes all turn their attention on trapped Gio…

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This waterfall shot grabbed my attention not only because of the generous views of both bodies on this tag team power couple, but it reminded me of shots of another celebrity gay couple on vacation from just last week.

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Young, muscled, hairy, hunky Gus Kenworthy & Matthew Wilkas

 

Olympic snowboarder Gus Kensworthy and his ripped beardaddy boyfriend Matthew Wilkas have apparently been similarly getting their hot bodies soaked at the foot of a waterfall, only in their case it was apparently in Hawaii. I’m not into coincidences.  So of course, I read Gio and Tommy’s follow up waterfall hot shots as a direct challenge to the gay fantasy couple Gus and Mattie.

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Team Gus & Mattie

Before Gio and Tommy are pumped and primed to take on Roberts and Abner, I think they’ve got their sights set on honing their honeymoon tag team lover skills all over Kenworthy and Wilkas. They may be the warm up match, but Gio and Tommy need to keep their eyes on Wilkas. There’s something about him that makes me think as outmuscled and out prettied as Gus and he may be, he’d bring some beardaddy brutality, particularly if Gus is in jeopardy.

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Still, my money is on the honeymooners.  Who do you think comes out on top?

One thought on “News Break – The Honeymooners

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