Sex in the Morning

I haven’t found much to obsess about among the newsmen lately. The morning news time slot is skimpy on hot hunks these days, and that’s a crying shame. Matt Lauer continues to fail to satisfy my lust for news hunks. Harry Smith from The Early Show on CBS possesses both a forgettable name and face. So despite my promise to punish ABC for denying me my daily dose of Chris Cuomo, I’ve occasionally flipped through Good Morning America in search of a new newsman crush.

Perhaps, just perhaps, the GMA substitute weatherman, Jeff Smith, could qualify for a new newsman crush. He has a “president of his fraternity” look about him, which can go either way for me. He has a quick wit, which makes him definitely sexier. And it’s probably just me, but I think he looks like a cleaned-up version of Andy Roddick (which can’t be bad). Yeah, it’s probably just me, but they could at least be brothers. Jeff:
Clearly, Jeff is the object of more than just my affections. He has NYC girls pining over him on the boards. If I could find more looks at him, I think he’d find himself in the cue for a debut in some wrestling fiction. Perhaps Jeff and Andy (who has already made his Producer’s Ring debut) might need to throw down for a frat house chapter room romp. More likely, I could see our hunky meteorologist going toe to toe with Mr. Abercrombie himself, David Muir, for the title of champion news hunk on the rise. David made a seriously strong debut in his first wrestling fiction match, and I think that David has the sort of character that I’ll particularly enjoy writing more of. Hold onto your dimples, Jeff, because I think David will be fiercely intent on rearranging that pretty face of yours.
Personally, I think the morning news seriously needs to take some cues from the Producer’s Ring. No one, and I mean NO ONE is tuning into television news in order to be informed these days. We get information a thousand times faster elsewhere. But we still tune in, because we’re interested in the packaging. We’re looking for some sugar with our coffee (or, in my case, tea), to sweeten the otherwise bitter taste. If we’re going to have to ingest earthquakes and legislative hearings and the daily tally of who is killing whom and how many, then at least titillate us with a groin stirring hunk of a weatherman or newsreader.