By Any Other Name


I haven’t been into soccer/football in quite a while. I think I lost my taste for it when playing intramurals in college, precisely at the point at which I saw a compound fracture result from a nasty tackle (I wasn’t directly involved… just a witness). Even more precisely, I’d say it was at the point at which I heard the compound fracture. It still haunts me a little.
Haunting me in an entirely different way is the U.S. Men’s World Cup team as seen on the pages of Interview magazine. Oguchi Onyewu may be my favorite in this spread. Like all the boys, he’s got the fierce game face that makes me think he’d just as soon corner kick your head as the ball. His sculpted torso all covered in grime is fantastic.
My second favorite soccer boy from the pages of Interview is Carlos Bocanegra. He looks like he could use some help cleaning off. You can’t see it, but I’ve got two hands free at the moment to help lather him up.
Third on my list is goalie Tim Howard. Sweet pecs, shaved head, generous ink… everything except the sullen look and the four spiritual laws (I bet the two are connected) are making me a big fan.
Next up for my tastes is Benny Feilhaber. I’ll forgive him for keeping his shirt on, but only because even in a black and white photo, his eyes are flourescent. When I’m done in the shower with Carlos, I’ll be ready to hose off Benny.

Bringing up the rear in this line up is Jonathan Bornstein. Nothing wrong here at all, but he gets my last place ranking for bad posture. He’s also conspicuously lusting after Megan Fox… that’ll drop a promising hunk into last place most days for me.


I have half an eye on the competition in South Africa. I’m not nearly as into as most of my friends and, I’m sure, many of you. But I’m definitely rooting for the dirty, sweaty hardbodies from the pages of Interview. Of course, then there are the pages of Vanity Fair

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