The "Good," the "Bad," and the "Ugly"

Muscle stud Kevin Shea appeared in two Wrestleshack matches for BG East a decade ago. I’ve recently been introduced to the highly entertaining match up of Kevin and champion sweat pig (said very, very lovingly), Bud Orton, in Wrestleshack 6.

Kevin is a sexy musclestud. The pics of him relaxed and smiling for the camera illustrate that he’s classically handsome with a retro stash that works for him (wouldn’t for just anyone, though). He’s got a mouthful of teeth, and you know how I like that. He’s gorgeously fit – simply beautiful to look at. Bud sees what I’m talking about instantly as he squares off against Kevin in the BGE wrestleshack. Like always, Bud is immediately bent on dominating his opponent, controlling and punishing him, as foreplay.

Something happens to handsome, hottie Kevin in this match, though. Perhaps Bud pushes him just a little too far. Maybe Kevin always nurses a raging beast just beneath the surface of his ripped muscle bod. But as this match turns nasty, Kevin’s face begins to contort. It’s a little tough to describe, but it starts as a sneer. Both lips curl. His stash stretches and bends with the contortion of his mouth. His big, beautiful teeth are bared like a rabid dog. His nostrils flare, and there’s a feral glaze that falls across his eyes. Kevin’s retro classic appearance that moments ago made him look as if he was ripped out of a 70’s Playgirl centerfold turns into something that I can only describe as ugly.

I’m not saying that Kevin becomes unattractive – not by any means, in fact. He matches Bud ounce for ounce in pouring sweat off of his gorgeous, hardworking muscles. His physique seems to get both harder and bigger with every move and counter move. But particularly when he opens his mouth wide and sticks his tongue out with a primal, grunting growl emerging from deep in his throat, he’s just fantastically ugly. Kevin looks like he wants to take a bite out of Bud, to make lunch out of one of Bud’s thick pecs. He seems suddenly dangerous, resentful, ferocious and unpredictable.

Most men would undoubtedly keep Kevin and his chomping teeth and lapping tongue at arm’s length, but Bud reacts just the opposite. Never one to be intimidated (never), the more primal Kevin becomes, the more intensely Bud becomes determined to wrap him up and tame him. Well, perhaps not “tame” him… Bud mounts and muscles this hunk around, Kevin’s tongue darting and lapping hungrily every moment, until Bud finally has the sweaty hunk entirely under his control. At that point, Bud becomes equally hungry, planting his mouth across Kevin’s gaping maw. Their jaws flex and pump, as if both chewing on a tough piece of steak. The wrestling is intense and hard fought, but in the last five minutes, who gives a crap!? Bud and Kevin clearly don’t, and neither do I.