Name That Cock

Regular readers will recognize that I’m typically relatively coy when it comes to the photos I post. I mean, if you count a whole lot of naked asses in the category of coy, then that and everything else would  count as coy in contrast to my typical text. In honor of the first warm day this year, and like the Easter Bunny himself coming out to play only infrequently, I’m taking this week’s quiz in a new direction. Based on the scant evidence of the close-up pics below, see if you can name the homoerotic wrestlers to whom these very fine cocks belong. Don’t want to peruse hot cocks? You may be excused from today’s quiz now (before you scroll down any further), but I promise you that we’ll be snickering at you as you walk out the door. The field of full-on naked wrestling is quite a bit narrower than any other “Name That” genre we’ve covered. So I’m suspecting that those of you who like a bit of cock on display in your wrestling fare may have an easier time with this quiz. I don’t know your definition of porn, but as for me, if I see a guy cum on camera, I’ll elevate him to my much admired status as a pornboy. So with that in mind, I believe all of the wrestlers pictured below belong to the most elite ranks of homoerotic wrestling pornboys.
The fine print: Name a wrestler whose cock is pictured, and I’ll praise you glowingly. Name all five wrestlers whose cocks are pictured, and you get a gold star. Name all five wrestlers whose cocks are pictured as well as their opponents in these pics, and, if you’d like, I’ll send you a pic of one of my personal tats, of which I’m very proud (no, my cock has no ink). Use the comments below or drop me an email to let me know how you did. I’ll post the answers tomorrow.  Good luck, and happy hunting!
Cock #1:

Ah, I’m a big, big fan of this cock and the gorgeous, hairy hardbody of which it is a perfectly proportioned piece. I follow this wrestlers tweets with great delight, and if I ever had an opportunity to go on a date with him, we’d sit down over a delicious dinner and discuss Michel Foucault and Jacques Derrida before heading back to his place for an energetic wrestling match culminating in multiple orgasms and messy, though fastidiously safe, sex. He’s been a feature of one quiz already, and I have previously described his “gorgeous tool at full staff” in reference to this very wrestling match. In other words, unless you’re new around here, I think you should know this one without any further hints.

Cock #2:

 This beautiful cock belongs to a wrestler I’ve mentioned only twice before on this blog, but he’s a go-to classic homoerotic wrestling pornboy for my tastes. He was 5’8″ and 170 pounds when he wrestled in 6 entertaining matches, 5 of which featured his trunks around his ankles and his cock taking an enthusiastic pounding, usually from his own hand. In this match, he faced an incredibly aptly named opponent whose own cock was also front and center in the action before all was said and done. With furry, incredibly hot pecs and just a slight self-consciousness that made me feel like I was right there in the room with him making him nervous, he’s got a place almost as high in my affections as his “cousin” who also wrestled, but wasn’t sporting quite the tool that this hunk had. Still, it’s not about how big it is… well, it’s not ONLY about how big it is…

Cock #3:
Speaking of big, this uncut marvel of the modern world should also pose little-to-no problem for regular readers. He’s listed at 5’9″ and 160 pounds, but I suspect with some recent muscle, he’s put on a little more weight than that. I’ve talked about this cock repeatedly, even if this is the first time I’ve posted a pic. He’s also been a feature in a previous “Name That” quiz. He’s wrestled in at least 18 matches, I believe, and despite not being of one of the typical body types I gravitate toward mindlessly, he’s earned his way into more than one “favorite” ranking in the past. With his extensive resume, I suspect the main challenge may be identifying his opponent here, to which I will only offer the clue that I’d buy his opponent a hamburger if I could (even though I’m vegetarian). That not enough for ya? Well this is where the quiz gets tougher, so you get no more from me.
Cock #4:

Okay, this probably belongs earlier in the quiz, because you can see most of this homoerotic wrestler’s opponent’s face, hovering ominously open with his chin resting on the hunk’s testicles. Classic doesn’t quite cover the hardbodied homoerotic wrestler to whom this oiled up cock belongs. Prototypical? Pioneering? I always forget this wrestler had a first name, because like so many iconic entertainers, it really only takes his last name to be clear who we’re talking about (though an entirely correct answer here will require both names!). He reportedly wrestled at 204 pounds of sliced to the joint muscle on his 6’0 frame in around 15 matches (give or take), and was said to also have worked behind he camera as well on many more. I’d tell you more, but this wouldn’t be so much of a quiz, then, would it?

Cock #5:

Simply beautiful. I’ve spilt a lot of virtual ink on this homoerotic wrestler and his cock… and his ass… and his ink… Interestingly, I don’t hear from a lot of others equally as enthusiastic as I am about him, which I find perplexing. Still, considering my oppositional-defiant personality disorder, being on my own in my infatuations is oddly reinforcing. Reportedly 6’0″ and 185 pounds, he was way too much for his opponents to handle in the match pictured here. He’s also a prior “Name That” feature, and he’s a multiple title holder, and the difficulty parameter on this question is supposed to be the highest, so that’s all you’ll get by way of clues from me.

So good luck. Study those cocks long and hard. Take your time. Enjoy the intellectual stimulation of the quiz. And do let me know what you come up with.

8 thoughts on “Name That Cock

  1. Due to time constraints, I'm throwing in the towel at 2 id'd, company coming in 2 hours and the house is looking a bit "grey gardens"No 1 is Trent Diesel, but the ring on his opponents left hand is throwing me off, so i am going to guess that it he is fighting Alex Slater from Naked Kombat.No 2 is Casey Cutler v Dick the Prick from BG's Ring Wars 3,now its up to the rest of the class to p/u the slack.Topher

  2. I needed to take a short break from the vacuuming and dusting to clarify, did i say #1 was Trent?, I meant #5 and his opponents were Patrick Rouge and Alex Slater.

  3. Company has gone and i see my last comment did not get refuted, so perhaps 2 down 3 to go.# 1 is Derek DeSilva v Kid Vicious from BG's Ball Bash 1, though i have no idea why you 2 would converse at diner about deceased French philosophers, perhaps he tweeted about it?

  4. I don't know if all that lemon pledge i sprayed around the house this evening to mask the fact that i haven't cleared a cobweb from a corner in quite some time cleared my head or what, but i am on a roll, #3 is DJ v Dragon from Naked Kombat, one left

  5. Fantastic performance, Topher! I'm not sure if huffing pledge constitutes cheating, but I'm extremely impressed, nevertheless. I'll just say that #4 does not include Doug Brandon or Mark Wolff.Clearly, you know cock!

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