Being Human Battle

All right, Being Human SyFy season one is over, and I’m hooked. Despite fully anticipating disappointment, the remake of BBC awesomeness is different enough to keep me interested.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? The man meat is hot enough to keep me interested, and the story isn’t getting in the way of hot angles of the boys from Boston. First and foremost, Sam Witwer is haunting my dreams. Shirtless. Getting wrestled out of the rest of his clothes.

Outside my dreams, SyFy is being relatively generous with regular shots of him shirtless. He’s one very fit vampire hunk in desperate need of a pec claw.

In that head-to-head competition in my mind between Sam W. and Aidan Turner from the BBC production, I’m shocked to say that Sam very well might out-sexy the hairy Irishman afterall. In a one-on-one rip-n-strip wrestling match in the ring (all of those details would be absolutely essential and non-negotiable), I’d have to guess that Sam’s advantage in muscle and strength would eventually end him up schoolboy pinning Aidan and pummeling his face with his cock.

Not to say that Aidan wouldn’t certainly make it competitive. I picture the Irishman working a “crazy as a shit house rat” angle, going as nasty as he can from go. All that humiliating face beating by Sam’s cock would only come well after Aidan has crushed the American’s balls repeatedly, pounded on his abs while he’s trapped in the ropes, and thrown Sam over the ropes for a nasty spill outside the ring as a prelude to pounding his gorgeous face relentlessly into the ringposts. By the time Sam’s turned the tide and has the Irishman helplessly enduring a cock whipping, it’s going to mean something to the both of them.

Of course, the thing is, a 1-on-1 match would fail to settle anything at all really. Being Human is a homoerotically charged buddy story, if nothing else. Mitchell/Sam always has George/Josh’s back, and vice versa, so a tag team match is as inevitable as me turning any hard bodied celebrity hunk into an over the top homoerotic wrestling master. And it’s there, my friends, in the 2-on-2 ring, that things really get interesting in my imagination. Because despite Sam Huntington pulling off some genuinely impressive surprise skin shots for SyFy, in this bout, he is the weakest link.

It’s hardly any surprise that, while Sam H. played the conscience-tormented nerd admirably, Russell Tovey would still kick his ass coming and going, as far as I’m concerned. Moreover, in my imagination, he’d really, really enjoy it. So, while Aidan might singlehandedly be destined for a cock whipping from Witwer, the chemistry would be so complex and unpredictable with the foursome in the throes together. I’m picturing Sam W. tied into a corner at some point, forced to watch his co-star get double teamed into oblivion, with a potential force-fed finale, a la Tag Team Torture 2, match 2.

The again, with Sam W.’s physique indisputably the most impressive in the bunch, perhaps he could carry his teammate the distance. Perhaps it’s Russell who’d find himself tied in the corner helplessly watching as Aidan (the actor) takes a brutal and humiliating double team from the Sams.

One way or another, no one’s left with gear on by the time this barn burner is over with. I’ll keep you posted how it turns out.

One thought on “Being Human Battle

  1. Whoa…after that, I'll NEVER be able to watch Being Human the same way again…and I may have intrusive daydreams of vampire on vampire rip-n-strip submission wrestling matches – with alot of sneering and biting (the scene where wolfie strips down to his boxers and then gets "inspected" by the vampires before the cage match, like you would inspect a breeding stud, is classic)

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