I have a friend who makes me play every kitschy pop culture game on the planet. For the record, in my life as a mini-series, I’d have Jason Bateman play me.

In my life as a motion picture, I’d have Jake Gyllenhaal play me.

Again, just for the record, I’d have to say that I’d fuck Joey…

…marry Chandler….

…and kill Ross (to stop the whining).

A more entertaining game, but not one my friend has the necessary expertise to play, would be to play with homoerotic wrestlers. Let me see. In my life as a mini-series, I’d have Cody Nelson play me.

In my life as a motion picture, I’d have Brad Rochelle play me.

And given the options that I’d need to squash, job, or competitively wrestle one each of the following, I’d choose to squash The Enforcer (that mask is coming off, baby, along with the trunks!)…

… job for Trent Diesel (I want to see that orgasm-twisted face of his staring down at me it victory)…

… and competitively wrestle with Denny Cartier (though he’ll just have to deal with the fact that I’m squeezing that beautiful round ass of his).

Instantly I want to change my answers… Now this fun!

2 thoughts on “Games

  1. Ooh, can I play? Only I have to include wrestlers from all different genres.In my life as a mini-series, I'd have Trent Baretta play me.In my life as a motion picture, I'd have Z-Man Zack play me.I'd choose to squash El Elegido.He's a lot bigger than you'd think, so I'd have to resort to dirty tricks right off the back, and I'd target the back of the left knee. Since he's a crowd favorite, these tricks will be especially effective. When things are going my way, I'd do his dance to mock him, and when all is said and done, off comes the mask so I can FINALLY see his face, and I'd drag him by his long, beautiful hair to put his face right in front of a camera for everyone to see.I'd choose to job for Brook Stetson.Initially he'd be laughing and taking things at his own pace. My one token attempt at offense would be a dirty move out of desparation, which would only piss him off, wipe the smile off his face, and change the tone of the match to that much more serious and deadly.I'd competitively wrestle Rio Garza.People would wonder if we were fighting to raise ourselves in the rank, or fighting to determine who the biggest jobber is. Maybe we'd be doing both.

  2. That's the spirit, SP! I had to look up El Eligido, but I think you're just the boy to squash, unmask, and humiliate a big muscle boy like that. Well done!

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