Bodies Over Time – Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month Edition

It feels like Jonny Firestorm, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, has been a fixture in BG East since well before his 2005 debut in The Contract 6. Indeed, I’m hard pressed to think of a more productive homoerotic wrestling fixture. Out of 26 catalog releases since his debut, Jonny has wrestled in 25 DVDs, totaling an astonishing 30 matches, not counting his tournament highlights from the World Outgames in Montreal! He’s wrestled icons, pros, dancers, twinks and bears. It’s no wonder he’s starred in two products entitled “Iron Men,” because Jonny is one tenacious wrestler who’s pumped out an astonishing string of high quality wrestling products.

Jonny took just a fraction more than he was able to give in his debut against icon Brad Rochelle (seriously, how many stunning fixtures in homoerotic wrestling have debuted against that gorgeous hunk!?). What was abundantly clear within about 7.46 seconds of the start of this fantastic heel-turn story for Brad was that Jonny possessed both a ripped-to-shreds muscle body built for nothing other than wrestling AND that Jonny was already an extremely accomplished wrestling tactician.

What suffering he eventually soaked in as Brad Rochelle tapped into his inner bad boy bastard, Jonny turned right back around and dished out extra helpings on poor twink punk Zach Zilver in Demolition 10. To tell the truth, I bought Demo10 to enjoy Cole Cassidy “welcoming” Christopher Bruce (and that gorgeous ass of his) back to the world of BG East. But the relish with which Jonny obliterates Zach, and Jonny’s stunning antomy-chart fitness (and in particular, those shredded, rock hard, vascular thighs), made me do some re-evaulating. Jonny was no longer just that smart-ass punk who pushed the long-awaited buttons to turn Brad Rochelle into a raging sadist. Jonny was definitely someone who could entertain me all on his own.

Somebody else must have been as impressed with Jonny, since only three releases into his BG East career and his third catalog appearance in a row, he starred in his own Wrestler Spotlight. Jonny wrestling Devil Devitt’s pecs (well, the rest of him too, but I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from the pecs) is a pro body-beautiful bonanza.

Jonny and Alexi Adamov both debuted in The Contract 6, giving Brad Rochelle two rookies to serve as fodder for his heel turn. So there was some symmetry that Jonny and Alexi should end up needing to sort some of their own place-in-the-pack shit out between them in Backyard Brawls 4. Taking turns with faces trapped high up between each others crotches makes me bitterly jealous of both of them in turn. A Bard-sandwich trapped between them, however, would instantly release any hard feelings I had. Other areas of hardness and moments of release would also occur. Sadly, that story lives only in my imagination.

I won’t attempt to chronicle every inch of Jonny’s low-hanging resume, but I have to make a mention of his matroom sweat-fest against former homoerotic wrestler of the month and ongoing crush of mine, Denny Cartier, in the title-character role for Jonny: Jonny Firestorm in Montreal. This seems like Jonny’s application DVD to the gay wrestling hall of fame. He can sell in close quarters, soaked in sweat in the BG East matroom. He’s ferocious on the world stage, medaling in amateur competition. And he can hold his own in bruising pro work in the ring. This man not only can do it all, he does it all!

I’m fast-forwarding through quite a bit of Jonny’s career thus far, but I do want to push the pause button and linger just a little over the appearance of an entirely new Jonny in Ball Bash 2. There was only about a month and a half between his work in Hunkbash 10 and his appearance in Ball Bash 2, but Jonny went from 0 bodyfat to beefy bruiser somewhere there in the middle. Clearly the taping of the matches wasn’t proportional to the time it took to put out the back-to-back Jonny releases. In the intervening time, Jonny put on pounds, stopped shaving every inch of his body, and learned to take even more sadistic joy in throwing around his new weight. Ball Bash 2 is as much an epiphany for me as it is a re-launch of Jonny in new packaging. Watching him crush the living shit out of Reese Wells’ balls (what the HELL happened to that short-lived phenom!?) gave me a whole new appreciation for ball torture.

Releases of Jonny’s matches have teetered back and forth between these two levels of conditioning.  His Pros in Private 7 match shows him incredibly sexy sans belly but with chest hair.

I think this is my favorite Jonny look!

But for his next release taking on Kid Karisma for BG’s Bad Boys 1, it’s back to Jonny in bruiser form. Dialing Kid K’s nipples like searching for that remote radio station is just damn inspired!

Perhaps it was Jonny’s suffering at the hands of Marauder in Masked Mayhem 6 that sent him packing on pounds to have something more to throw around in the ring. The DVD came later in the chronology of his resume, but we went back to Jonny in svelt-‘n’-hard conditioning to learn that Jonny’s notoriety gave the firecracker a big head, and even the Boss started to find his cocky swagger a bit too much to stomach. Enter Jonny’s command performance taking a beatdown from big bruiser Marauder, in which Jonny gets cracked in half like a wishbone.

Skip Vance recently commented on his Facebook page that seeing pictures of his manhandling by Jonny in Submissions 8 from last summer still makes his body ache.  The contrast between Jonny’s pale beef and Skip’s all over tan whipcord musculature is both aesthetically gorgeous and tooled perfectly for Jonny’s masterful induction of Skip into the depth of the wrestling arsenal that Jonny has at his disposal from working his ass off for so many years. Skip’s screams and the agony written on his face are both cringeworthy and totally kink-inspiring!

For Hunkbash 11, it’s Jonny’s beaty-and-the-beast-beatdown of antithesis Rio Garza. Again, Jonny’s in the ring (where I like him best), and again he’s powerfully thick and sporting his arch-villain beard. Rio is smooth as a baby’s Naired bottom, with mocha skin and coverboy handsomeness.

It’s retro Jonny again in Pros in Private 8 this past winter, which reintroduced me to the arousing wonders that are Jonny’s gorgeously veined granite thighs as well as Rudy Cortez’ incredibly spankable ass. This DVD could easily have earned Jonny homoerotic wrestler of the month if it weren’t for the bad luck that his exhausting, all-in work for Pros8 showed up in the same catalog with Brook Stetson and Mitch Colby coated in gallons of sweat and wrestling in jock-straps in a Florida sunroom (not to mention the earth-shattering introduction of Z-Man to the BG East universe and the barnburner release of Ringwars 19… what a month!).

What put Jonny over the top this month, however, was his back-to-basics retro appearance and his incredibly entertaining work, working over another former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Bobby Horton, for BG’s Bad Boys 2. Jonny and Bobby are a match made in wrestling-kink heaven. Watching Jonny in this give-and-take titanic struggle for true badness was powerfully arousing for me. The look of delight and agony juxtaposed at nearly every moment is fantastically compelling. The wedgies on both of these sliced-and-diced young men make me gasp. And perhaps the tale of the tape is really Jonny making me laugh one moment and then grab my cock in both hands the next. A totally compelling character, fucking fantastic pro wrestling, rockingly entertaining bodies, and enthusiastic salesmanship of quality that I’ve seen extremely rarely… I’m very pleased with my choice this month.

Many of you have contacted me in backchannels to let me know it’s about time that I gave Jonny his due. The exhausting work of vetting his homoerotic wrestling resume probably bears out your exasperation with how long this has been in coming. But with BG’s Bad Boys 2, he’s grabbed hold of my attention and affections on the strength of nothing other than one pristine, thrilling, provocative performance that needs nothing else to justify it as worthy of top honors. Jonny Firestorm deserves a homoerotic wrestler of the month title, and I’m happy to give him mine!

This man deserves a raise!

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