I just turned in a project that was on a deadline, so I’m back to add to my collection of thoughts about what’s turned me on lately. The truly epic moment of seeing Michael C. Hall’s naked ass in Dexter this season has been a recurring fantasy image that wakes me up at night (needing to pound one out before I can possibly go back to sleep). The other, less freakishly rare, but nearly as thrilling subscription eye candy that’s fueled my homoerotic wrestling imagination was from the final episode of True Blood just a few weeks ago, featuring none other than my #1 Swedish infatuation (believe me, there are many lined up behind him), Alexander Skarsgård, capping off the season with not only his beautiful, long body completely naked, but some honest to god full frontal Swedish sausage!
I won’t bother you with the details of why Alexander’s character is sunning naked on a lounge chair in the middle of a glacier in Åre, Sverige. You either care enough about that sort of back story to have watched, or you’re still reading this for the sole reason that I mentioned full frontal Alexander Skarsgård. There are even a few of you, I know, who are only familiar with this gorgeous descendant of vikings from his appearances in my celebrity homoerotic wrestling fiction, where, by the way, he’s undefeated and continuing to strike stark terror in potential celebrity wrestling opponents after nearly castrating Ashton Kutcher in the ring. Good times!
Alexander also completely dominated in a private mat-match first authored by another reader/writer who joined me in co-authoring a couple of my favorite Producer’s Ring matches, Swito. Swito brought the heat, as well as the svenska-cred to that match, in which Alexander used those long, luscious, alabaster limbs to squeeze, pummel, and corporally terrorize that fucking cocky Australian it-boy, Chris Hemsworth, for daring to try out for, much less accept the role of Viking god/superhero Thor for the big screen. You’d think the Aussie beefcake would have toned down his shit after that humiliation, but Producer’s Ring readers know that wasn’t the case.
I never really doubted it, but apparently the producer of True Blood had to issue a statement after this cliffhanger shot of Alexander’s naked cock bursting into flames (I’ve got a lotion for that, Alex!) to assure fans that his character is, indeed, returning as a regular in the next and final season of the series’ next go-round. Like teasing us with that cock and then ripping him away from us was an option. TB producers clearly know better. And so do I, because one of these days I’m getting my ass back to the keyboard for more Producer’s Ring matches, and I guaran-fucking-tee you that a certain juggernaut expert in cock torture and merciless ring destruction will also be returning to my homoerotic wrestling imagination.
I’ve said it before many times. I’ll say it again. Best god damned casting director in the history of television. And I’ve got so, so much love for a blond, Swedish beefcake who shows his cock for the rabid TB fans who are fanatical for the show for precisely this Dark-Shadows-meets-softcore-porn element.