I’m still catching up from life outside of neverland, so excuse me for being a half a month late in anointing a new slice of beef as my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month. Being out of the country for half of August made it a stretch for me to do my due diligence in sampling the latest fare of homoerotic wrestling dished up during that month. But squeezed in nice and tight between a couple of major project deadlines, I managed to get a good taste of the fine new harvest of late summer 2013 homoerotic wrestling releases. There’s an avalanche of muscle mass barreling down hill and crushing another massive muscle beast would-be rival, and that avalanche is my August 2013 homoerotic wrestler of the month…
…Naked Kombat’s Marcus “Titan” Ruhl – 5’10”, 210 lbs.
Marcus has grabbed my attention with both hands and shoved his mountainous muscles in my face before, but he had his massive, burly body shoved into the back seat in past competitions for HWOTM. Not this time, my friends. No fucking way. His appearance in the NK summer tournament on August 21 had me toweling off before I could manage to log-in. His opponent, “Cut-Throat,” looks damn fine as well. On any other day, he’d be a top contender himself with that mouth and those shoulders alone. But the fates cursed Jessie to show up to battle his way to the next round of competition against a truly phenomenal force of nature, aptly named “Titan.”
Jessie’s a massive hunk of muscle himself, which helps explain some fantastic offense he manages against the superhuman proportions and strength of Marcus. 6’2″, 200 pounds… no wonder he put the undefeated gladiator of my fantasies to his back and look damn fine doing it! Holy fuck, what it must feel like to even momentarily humble a mountain of a man like Marcus! “Yeah!” Jessie growls, pinning Titan’s head to the mat and grinding his crotch in Marcus’ face, “Come on big guy, huh!?” Jessie taunts. There’a break in the action not five minutes in because Jessie gives Marcus a dizzying elbow to the face.
I pop my cork anytime a couple of big, powerful muscleboys tell the story of rock-meeting-hard-place, convincing me that they’re just too fucking big to ever have really been tested before, so they’re seriously fired up to be tested now. When big Marcus is letting his weight advantage tire his opponent out squirming underneath him, Jessie’s upper lip curls in rage and he kicks Marcus away, growing, “Get off me, you big son of a bitch!” The intensity is erotic gold. Psyching up, psyching out, staring down… there’s some seriously primal stuff here with two alpha boys lighting it up when nobody is about to roll over and take it easy.
Overwhelming power humbled is an intoxicating sight to see, and the moments that big Jessie is owning the Titan’s body, I’m drunk off my ass! Even for powerhouses like these two are, there are moments when hauling each other across the mat absolutely wipes them out, neither side of beef able to pry his gorgeous ass up to keep battling. In the post-match testimonial, Jessie cannot emphasize the point enough that, despite the fact that he knew Marcus before hand, that he understood exactly how huge Marcus is, he was simply unprepared for the physical demands of trying to climb on top and ride the Titan for 3 whole rounds.
As with every match that Marcus has captivated me in, there are just so many “Oh shit!” moments in the match, where all that muscle flexes and bodies fly. Watch Marcus in the post-match testimonials, and you’d think this kid was the easiest going teddy bear on the planet. Watch him latch those gargantuan arms around Jessie and throw a 6’2″, 200 pound man around like a rag doll, and you might still be thinking “bear,” but there’s nothing soft and cuddly that comes to mind.
There’s so much about Marcus that moves me in the match, but I’ll say again what I’ve said before: his thighs are unbelievably huge and insanely powerful. Part of the spell I fall under watching Marcus completely crush Jessie like a fucking grape is the contrast. On the one hand, Marcus Ruhl is unquestionably pretty. I mean, think disarmingly handsome Clark Kent. Neck up, and I’ll say it to his face: Mr. Ruhl you are a prettyboy! But that prettypretty face sits atop a telephone pole of a neck and one of the most beastly hot bodies I’ve seen in homoerotic wrestling. Calling that body “pretty” would be insane. Like, I’d beat Marcus to the punch to slap the stupid out of whatever dumbass thought to classify his physique as pretty. The hairy chest, the meaty, convex gut/belly, the dimpled ass cheeks, each thigh about double the combined circumference of Skip Vance and Christian Taylor’s waists. When he walks, flesh jiggles a moment before he flexes and everything flashes hard as a rock. This is not the typical pornboy body, not a common homoerotic wrestling physique (though I think it ought to be). The man is a series of contradictions, each one turning me on harder and making him completely captivate me when he does what he does best, crush an opponent.
Marcus Ruhl pounds out a hard fought victory over stunned beefcake Jessie Coulter. Here’s where NK typically travels down less than a handful of well-worn paths, as the fuck-stakes wrestling reaches the stakes-stage. Always, there’s forced cock-sucking as the winner taunts and humiliates his trophy, before plowing his ass. There is almost always one, rarely two gratuitous expressions of dominating humiliation thrown in at some point, typically sandwiched right in between the cock sucking and ass fucking. Said expressions typically come in just a few flavors: over-the-knee ass slapping, pony riding, the occasional forced muscle worship. But a few NK boys distinguish themselves by doing something that no one else really pulls off. For example, Rusty Stevens arm bar/leg scissors choke toying with Tommy Defendi, commanding him to stroke himself to the edge of orgasm and then denying it, while Rusty beats his own out with the thrill of it. Marcus immediately hoists Jessie up over one shoulder and walks around the mat, slapping that completely vulnerable and gorgeous ass beet red in a show of total ownership. A hardbodied 200 pound beefcake like Jessie so totally controlled and humiliated is so incredibly awesome!
A regular reader pointed out to me a couple of days ago that there’s an industry-wide crisis that’s hit Naked Kombat along with everyone else in porn, as taping has stopped after the disclosure of at least 2 or 3 porn stars (across the whole industry, including Rod Daily from an earlier NK tournament bout) have tested HIV positive. Fuck! Safe sex is, of course, not 100%, but I do believe that everyone in the sex industry should be absolute masters at protecting themselves (no judgment here, just a hope that there’s a path for porn to stay safe). I hope there’s a future for NK to finish this tournament, talented stars to make their living, and everyone to stay safe and healthy. In the mean time, I want to go on record that no one in homoerotic wrestling worked me harder than a hardbodied pornboy named Marcus Ruhl, plowing his way through the competition to deserve an appearance in the semi-finals and absolutely earning my unofficial title as Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month.