Last Friday was National Coming Out Day, so consider me tardy when I say, “I’m gay.” I know this comes as a shock to you all. Go to a support group and talk your shit out there. I’m quickly moving on to the most shocking coming out that occurred last Friday.
Cage Thunder outed himself. I mean, you’re brain dead if you know who Cage Thunder is and failed to already understand that he has an insatiable desire for hot-bodied hunks and cock. No, on Friday, Cage Thunder didn’t bust open the closet door. He, literally, ripped off the wrestling mask!
I won’t post his unmasked picture here, at least not until I have explicit permission from him (go to his blog to see for yourself). But after unmasking so many other gorgeous hunks in his career, there’s something jaw dropping about seeing him strike another stunning pose and peel off his own! The masked wrestler trope sort of precludes this type of self-revelatory choice, I’d have thought. The masked wrestler is stronger, more cunning, more terrifying for the mystery concealed beneath the mask (or that’s how the device has traditionally worked), so there’s something shocking about a hunk who no one else has had the balls to unmask doing it to himself.
I fucking love this, mind you. A shocking revelation to a timeless mystery is such sweet drama, and you know that I’m ALL about the drama! In Cage’s big reveal on Friday, he says that Kid Leopard himself suggested that Cage wrestle masked, because he has too much of a jobber face to be taken seriously as a heel. I, for one, would never dare fail to take Cage Thunder 100% seriously. However, I’m dying to find out if an unmasked Cage Thunder returns to the ring, and if so, is he masked, and if not, does he strike the knee-quivering terror in his opponents that he has prior to his unmasking! Of course, all of the same elements remain: the skill, the attitude, the power, the cruelty. But would tinkering with the formula by removing the mask trip up the juggernaut of an unstoppable homoerotic wrestling heel!?
While we wait to see if an unmasked Cage Thunder still has the mojo on the mats, get in line right behind me for authentic Cage Thunder wrestling fiction entitled, Going Down for the Count, out next from Bold Strokes Books. And yes, that’s stunning Mitch Colby in Cage’s clutches on the cover. And no, despite Cage Thunder’s repeated calling out and trash talking of Mitch, we have not seen these two in action, other than this cover and other released stills. And yes, I’d donate a kidney to see that match happen!
And to answer the question Cage Thunder asks in his unmasking post, no, he’s not ugly, by a long shot, which only increases the anticipation of what his unmasking may mean for his unquestioned dominance in the homoerotic wrestling universe.