And the nominees are…

I’ve been anxiously anticipating the BG East “Year in Review Fan Poll,” or as it’s been nicknamed, the BG East “Besties.”  First of all, let me point out that the banner linked at the top of the BG East homepage announcing the Besties didn’t show up on my iPad.  Some software thingy or another appears to be the problem (sorry for the technical jargon). In any case, if you haven’t seen the poll yet, click here.

So much to say, but let me just offer a few little PSAs by giving you some photographic data upon which to make your judgments about a few of the Besties.  Today, let’s consider some hot bodies.  For best abs, here are the nominees and the six/eight-packs that got them in the top tier for your consideration.

Dazzling Kip Sorrell looks like a Ken doll. He’s epically unsuccessful in the ring, but maybe he’ll come out on top when it comes to his washboard.
To make sure you don’t get distracted and bedazzled by his dimples, let’s take a closer look at the six-pack. Nice bulges, but little definition to the serratus. Sure, I’d do body shots off of his lower abs for days, but are these the best abs of 2014?
Z-Man is a perennial candidate and frequent winner of best body (and parts) in the last 2 years of Besties. He’s always in phenomenal shape, seemingly perpetually at peak fitness, which helps his hot abs pop.
Z-Man is the total package, but this category is about the particular components that are his abs, so let’s zoom in here. Deep vertical separation, hot serratus, perhaps tighter around the middle than along the lower abs.
Competitive bodybuilder Lon Dumont wins awards for his phenomenal fitness and muscle development well before he steps into a wrestling ring.
A close up examination of what’s Lon is packing in this category reveals canyons of separation, development of the upper abs that is borderline superhuman, and crystal cut serratus. Hot, hard, and defined as fuck.
Eli Black has won this category the past 2 years, and it’s hard to argue with his track record or his abs (and it’s near impossible to argue with Eli without getting your ass kicked). Possibly no one is leaner or fitter, but does that add up to a 3-peat best abs?
Uh, wow. Simply, wow. This is an anatomy chart, with no pesky body fat at all to blur the lines of muscles, tendons, ligaments… fuck, bones even! Top to bottom even muscle development, ridged serratus, lean, lean, lean.
2014 debut Cal Bennet makes a compelling case to climb right on top of the rest of the field on the merits of his outrageously hotly muscled gut.
Cal takes so much shit from fans distracted by his ink, so let’s try to zoom in a little and inspect the goods up close. Solid definition, beautifully shaped abs stretching horizontally in sharp relief from the rest of his torso. Very little serratus development and/or not disguised by the ribcage tats.

To say I’m partial to a particular set of abs in this slate is an understatement. Lon Dumont makes me dizzy the moment he crunches his serratus.  For fitness, definition, balance, muscle mass, and sheer beauty, I’m in Lon’s camp every time.  I’m guessing both Eli and Z-Man will make strong showings based on the size of their extremely fanatical fan bases.  And like I’ve said, they both have totally legitimate claims to the title, even though I think their fan following sometimes has to do less with their abs than other assets. I’d say Cal Bennett is the dark horse who could completely upend this category, though.  His fan base is, as yet, untested. Detractors of his have been vocal about the ink, but sometimes the naysayers are just louder, not more numerous.  I’ve gone on the record as being ready to cover Cal in honey and lick him clean, so I wouldn’t exactly feel blindsided by a Cal upset. But if you lined these five sets of abs up in front of me and handed me that bottle of honey, my tongue is going to be all over every inch of Lon Dumont’s steel wall of beauty each and every time.  Who are you voting for?  You’ve got until Sunday, February 8 at midnight.

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