My choice for picking a homoerotic wrestler of the month was tough this time. There were two particular new releases out in September that worked me hard. In fact, I went back and forth quite a bit on trying to decide, among the 4 wrestlers involved in these two matches, who among them deserved the shout out most. As always, I acknowledge the inherent liabilities of picking one wrestler, when it’s always at least two wrestlers who convincingly tell the tale of a remarkable homoerotic wrestling match. And I’ll reissue the disclaimer that applies to everything on this blog, when I say that this is entirely a subjective choice on my part. I don’t represent anyone else. I’m not suggesting who was the most popular among all wrestling fans, or who sold the most products. It’s just me, thumbing through the new release wrestling that turned me on the most in the month of September, with all of my biases and personal tastes and idiosyncrasies right out there on the table. And, in the end, after narrowly announcing yet another tie, I finally manned-up and just made a pick that I’m happy to stand by. My new reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month is…
Starring in the opening match in BG East’s Great Outdoors 2, Carter nearly burned down the BGE gazebo in his revelatory battle against my long-time and still reigning overall reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Kid Karisma. Kid K missed sharing this month’s title by the skin of his teeth. If not for my longstanding bias toward celebrating fresh talent and surprises, I’d have had to say this was a dead heat. But the new glimpse of Carter’s personality and some provocative revelations about his motivation for throwing his g-g-g-gorgeous, beefy body into the brutal crucible of the gazebo required me to make the call for the relative newcomer. And I don’t exactly feel bad for Kid K. He’s a 3-time HWOTM title winner, and his work in Great Outdoors merely adds to the distance he has on the next closest competitor for being my overall favorite.
But back to Carter. First of all, fuck. That body. 6’2″, 188 pounds, ripped, bulging, beautiful. Everything is proportional and mouthwatering, mind you, but I don’t know that I’ve been turned on by big, hard, bulging shoulders quite like Carter’s. Well, one set of shoulders this summer had me swooning, but honestly, it’s a rare thing for me to bypass open lust for his bulging trunks, ripped abs, expansive pecs, and thick, round biceps to say that his shoulders are driving me fucking wild. I have this recurring fantasy (and wrote some wrestling fiction about it) about being on hand as one of my favorite wrestling crushes picks apart and lays out a tasty, gorgeous morsel for me to jump into the story and get my hands all over. In comes Kid Karisma serving up being, heaping helpings of Carter’s sumptuous muscle like a Chopped champion. And somehow, among so much beefsteak to dig into, I’m thinking I’d start by squeezing those gargantuan deltoid muscles.
But of course, I’ve seen Carter’s crush worthy body before, and he didn’t earn the title of HWOTM then. I’ve crushed on his crazy lean waist and swooned over brief glimpses of his ass crack and not found myself compelled to elevate him to the throne in the past. But if you read my review of this match, you’ll know what I mean when I say it was exactly nine words, muttered like a mid-week confessional, half gasping, dripping with equal parts pain and shocked pleasure, that stole the show for me. Carter took his Kid K barnburner to a whole new level when suddenly he breathlessly admits, mid-match, right in the fucking middle of the moment of it happening, “I like it when you pull on my hair.”
Kid Karisma makes sure and treat the pretty boy to a whole lot more of what he likes. But that doesn’t surprise me one bit. This is Kid K we’re talking about. He fucking delights in discovering the psychic weaknesses and soft/hard spots that can turn opponents into puppets like this. No, what ends up standing out here for me is the moment of a hot, smoldering, fitness mag version of John Krasinski, who moments before was crowing and gloating like crazy with the momentum going his way, suddenly catching us, and seemingly himself, by surprise by letting slip his masochistic underbelly.
Many of the more sexually ambiguous characters in homoerotic wrestling leave me wondering at times if they get any enjoyment at all out of crushing on an opponent for our titillation. Not that I mind too, too much if they don’t, but I’m instantly 10 times more turned on when I get a whiff of one of these could-be-an-uptight-fratboy types who gives us a glimpse of something deeper. It could be that they sort of get off on the feeling of dominating another man. It could be that they just experience a perverse delight in bullying and humiliating an opponent. Perhaps they just enjoy the personal challenge, the puzzling apart a serious competitor and leaving them honestly proud and pleased to lay them out and demonstrate their superiority. But when a relatively straight up pretty boy like Carter lets slip a deep, dark secret like he enjoys it when a bulging, beefy, beautiful muscle heel like Kid K buttons him up and pulls on his hair, it makes him instantly someone I want to know and watch much much more of.
Seriously, Carter Alexander can kick major league ass. Just ask Jake Jenkins. He’s not an impotent pretty boy who’s never even thought about what all of his sensational muscles and devastating power are good for. He could easily be a serious competitor for just about any of the up-and-comers in the BG East stable. So the way this Great Outdoors match goes does not come across as gimmicky to me. Carter didn’t need to vacillate back and forth between crowing bullying and whimpering, begging bitch like a boomerang to be a compelling homoerotic wrestling character. He didn’t have to gasp out that shocking confession that he’s got a trip wire connecting the hair on his head to the head of his cock. But wrestling against the best at BG East just dragged those sensationally sexy elements right out of him, and by the time he’s sleepered out cold (while getting his hair pulled, of course), and wrapped up tight between Kid K’s gargantuan rugby thighs, there’s an authenticity about the sense that ultimately there’s no where else he would want to be. And fuck, fuck, fuck, there is no where else I want him to be right then, either.
So despite my equivocating, I’m happy to stand behind my September 2016 choice for homoerotic wrestler of the month. In fact, I’d be happy to stand really, really close and right behind him. It wasn’t easy, and he’s got luck and my own personal quirks to thank for edging this one out at the very end. But I’m very happy to induct a new member of the ranks of homoerotic wrestlers of the month. All hail the new homoerotic wrestler of the month, who likes getting his hair pulled…