The Nominee Sale ends today, so I don’t know if that mean the poll closes today. In case it does, get your ass to BG East and vote! Here’s my voter’s guide for the remainder of the ballot. At this point, we really wade into the meat market portion of the categories. My buddy Mac emailed me after my last post to 1) agree with me that there should be a Best Legs category, and 2) point out that there’s also no Best Arms, Best Pecs, or Best Back category, so perhaps BGE limits the physical attributes to abs, butt, bulge, and body to keep the ballot concise. I just think this calls for a follow up Sidelineland fan poll for the missed categories, once the official vote has been counted and certified. In the meantime, here are the mouthwatering body parts you can vote for…
Best Abs
As I said earlier, there is no Lon Dumont, so I’m immediately frustrated. Have you seen his chiseled abs when he’s in contest shape?! Fuck me. Jax Atwell and last year’s Debut of the Year, Rocky Sparks were my #2 and #3 nominations, so my official vote goes to Jax, though it’s easy to get distracted from his washboard when you catch a glimpse of his entry for the next category. There are lovely abs to choose from across the slate, though, so take your pick.
Best Bulge
The Best Bulge slate of nominees that made it out of committee includes perennial contender Jobe Zander and his “Centerpiece,” of course. In addition to nominating Jax and Lance, I also nominated Van Skyler’s gorgeous tool, but Van didn’t make it out of committee. For my taste, I’m voting for Jax. I’m restricted from posting full nudity on this blog by BG East, but if I could, I’d be happy to demonstrate just how magnificent a candidate Jax is for this category once he flies his flag full staff. Short of that, let me just say that when Sarge unsnaps Jax’s breakaway thong mid-match, the meat that spills out would feed a herd of gay boys for weeks.
Best Butt
I love seeing some new contenders in the Best Butt category this year. Sure, you’ve still got reigning Best Butt Winner, Ty Alexander going for the trifecta this year, who you can vote for, and be prepared to see him bitch for the next three months if he doesn’t win. You’ve also got Kirk Donahue back in the running, though I still can’t bring myself to seriously consider him ever since the whole Best Butt scandal centering around him from the 2017 BG East Fan Poll. My #2 and #3 nominations for this category didn’t make the cut, namely Kayden Keller and Elite Eliot, so my choice is straightforward and certain. Feast your eyes on Devil Devitt’s glorious glutes! He wins my vote and unending adoration for that mouthwatering ass!
Hottest Liplock
I think this is my favorite category every year. I fucking LOVE wrestling liplocks. I love them wet and sloppy and paralyzing. I love them hungry and fierce and long. My top two nominations made it through committee, leaving only Ace Aarons and Calvin Haynes’ tongue wrestling out of contention from my nominating ballot. I know, I know, I’ve been over the moon throughout this entire voter’s guide about how sexy Kayden Keller and Nino Leone’s work was in Grudge Match 6, but shockingly, I only put them in second place on my ballot. My top pick, and the liplock that gets my vote, belongs to Nino and Jax from Backyard Brawls 13. Clearly, there’s a common denominator there, and if I ever get the opportunity to interview Nino again at a BG East taping, I’m insisting on first-hand evidence to confirm just how intoxicating his liplocks appear to be.
Best Overall Match 2020
I telegraphed my pick for best overall match a few days ago, when I was bitching about the confusing state of the slate of nominees. Specifically, my top pick, Starr/Sparks vs. Keller/DeLeon in Tag Team Torture 22, doesn’t feature in any of the earlier Best Match categories. I sort of love and hate the fact that every nominee in this category is a ring match. I love that, because it’s my favorite genre for homoerotic wrestling, but I hate it because I know there are fans who will be frustrated by the limited options. I’m a little blown away that all 3 products from Ringwars 33 are in the mix, because that product didn’t grab my crotch that decisively. Obviously, vote for the match you think is best, but for my money, it’s a slam dunk for Tag Team Torture 22.
Best Full Product of 2020
I have to confess that I forgot to include this last category in my nominations form, and thus, my nominees for Best Full Product didn’t factor in, and it shows. I’d intended to include, far and away as the best, my passionate support for BG East Grudge Match 6. So fucking sexy from start to finish, including Zip Zarella joining in a three-way thrashing with Ace Aarons and Gunnar Baer, but mostly power packed with Kayden first taming and claiming Nino, then taking that show on the road against Mason. Absent that option, my vote from the worthy nominees that did make it out of committee is for Tag Team Torture 20, which offered sensational drama, my sentimental favorite of Charlie Evans lovely ass paired with fellow lightweight beauty Cap Landon, and a tag team betrayal setting up a 2-on-1 beatdown of muscle hunk Calvin Haynes. Pick your poison, though.
Learning the Ropes, The Hard Way
For being such a shit year for everything else, BG East managed to pull together an impressive set of catalogs with, what I believe, included (almost?) no new matches recorded due to public health concerns (good on them!). Vote, and show some appreciation for the gorgeous, hardworking hunks of homoerotic wrestling!
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