Hammer Time

Andy Hammer is beautiful, young, ripped, and soaked in sweat.

The newbies have been commanding my attention in the new releases at BG East.  Even newbies who’ve been around a while! By that, I’m referring to watching veterans Blaine Janus and Andy Hammer go at one another in Matmen 25, apparently pulled from the archives back when both of them were just babies.

Blaine Janus fresh, raw, and bulging with promise!

There are hints of the accomplished fan favorites they will grow to become.  Blaine is intense as hell and constantly looking like he can’t decide whether to submit Andy or just go directly to fucking him.  Andy is a vision. Tanned, ripped, ferocious, and already looking like he’s learning to seriously savor the sweet bouquet of his own anguish. But this is so clearly from very early in their wrestling careers.  They’re raw, occasionally clumsy, still learning to pace themselves, execute a finisher, know when to lose a battle in order to win a war.

Andy repeatedly smothers Blaine with his big, beautiful bulge.

Somehow, I had missed the part of Andy Hammer’s resume that indicates he’s one of the Boss’ special projects. The online description for Matmen 25 points out that Andy’s phenomenal capacity, nay, carnal delight in taking a tidal wave of hurt comes from Kid Leopard’s up close and personal training sessions. Like tumblers clicking in a lock, this suddenly makes so much sense. His combo of balls out, intense offense paired with an unmistakable enjoyment of being pushed to the edge of human endurance is exactly what I’d expect from a beautiful, blond, blue-eyed, bubble-butted babyface who’s graduated from Kid Leopard’s personal wrestling tutorials.

Andy learned a thing or two from the master!

I’m not used to seeing Blaine get knocked on his ass so commandingly, which makes this romp from the time machine that much more engaging. When Andy has his foot on the gas pedal, which is most of this match, Blaine is sore pressed to keep up. It’s a fierce shoot with trading momentum back and forth, but early on I feel like there’s a surprising inevitability about Andy’s performance. This is the first match I’ve seen where, early going, I think Blaine very well might get crushed in a lopsided schooling, if not a full blown squash.

Slowly, savoring the moment, Blaine pulls his mouthwatering prey close.

Something inspires the erotic mat warrior we’ve come to know and love in Blaine to finally show his face, though. At one point, when he’s finally, slowly, painstakingly maneuvered his prey into a sensationally vulnerable rear naked choke, with Andy’s torso locked down tight between Blaine’s thighs, the Canuck leans his face in close and starts nibbling seductively on his gorgeous opponent’s earlobes. There’s the Blaine Janus we know and love!

Blaine’s lips drive Andy crazy!

They may be diamonds in the rough at this point, but the wrestling here is sensationally brutal. I think about half a dozen times that one or the other of them has got control permanently in hand, but then an awesomely vicious pec claw or a savage, no-shit-that-really-happened jab to the testicles pushes reset and they scramble all over again to come out on top.

Clearly, Blaine isn’t the only one who can mount a disarmingly hot erotic offense.

I’ve been a Blaine Janus fan for a long time. His catalog is populated with some of the most arousing homoerotic mat wrestling that I’ve seen.  I’ve loved watching him poke and prod and drive rookies crazy with his disarming erotic offense.  His work initiating Mason Brooks is outstanding, and his breaking in of incredibly sexy Rafael Valmor (where the hell has that sexpot gone!?) requires IV fluids to keep me hydrated.  But Matmen 25 is my first full blown gasp and awe session with beautiful Andy Hammer. This man-boy is phenomenal!  His physical conditioning here is epic. His astonishingly blue eyes and boyishly handsome face are achingly sweet. His light, golden tan is pitch perfect, and his ass is solid, masterfully molded, rock hard muscle.

Andy Hammer has one at least one new fawning fan!

This match ends perfectly.  The final fall is decisive, but the crotch grinding and face sucking that follows is the real climax.  At least for me.  And anyone else who sees the unbroken through-line from trash talking young studs sizing one another up all the way to just one of them climbing on top and taking full possession of the other. All of the essential elements of homoerotic wrestling gold are right here.


Stand and Deliver

There are some holds, some moves, some moments in homoerotic wrestling that are a sure bet to make me gasp a little and set off fireworks in my brain. I frequently mention my adoration of a beautifully executed OTK, for example. The position of the bodies, the contrast of powerful control and total vulnerability… hot, hot, hot every time. Another hold that regularly strokes my lusts with extra friction and speed is the standing headscissors.

Bulldog Barzini crushes Jeremy Burk’s skull between his thighs in BG East’s Catch-Weight 1.

There’s a lot to enjoy about a standing headscissors. The hold gives the hunk in charge the opportunity to display his upper body for adoration while his lower body bears down on the noggin trapped between his thighs. A dominating, powerful, beautiful body on display, as if he’s not in the ring but shooting a double bi for the bodybuilding competition judges, turns my crank hard.

Kid Karisma owns, OWNS Skip Vance in BG East’s Matmen 23!

Unquestionably value added from this hold is the narrative. There’s a strong can’t-be-bothered subtext about a sweet standing headscissors that absolutely electrifies me. It’s as if the upright stud is saying (and sometimes, he actually does say) I’m so in control of you that I can make you suffer helplessly by just standing here.  Just a flex of those quads, a shift of muscle barely noticeable from a distance, and the boy in charge captures his prey and makes him wail. The hold communicates that cocky, told-you-so, you-should-be-humiliated-by-how-helpless-you-are story that, little wonder, speaks to the very heart of my homoerotic wrestling kink.

BBW applies a faceclaw to a totally crushed Dino Serra in Squared Circle IV, not because he needs to, but just because it’s so fucking hot!

Of course, I enjoy it when the hunk bearing down does bother enough to tear himself away from gloating and flexing and preening to rub in the total control and humiliation he owns in this moment. A completely unnecessary claw to the face, for example. Yanking on the poor fucker’s ears or hair, cinching his head up nice and tight, pressed against his new owner’s balls… that’s the ticket!

Look, Ma, no hands! Jonny Firestorm crushes Andy Hammer in body and soul in BG East’s Jobberpaloozer 8.

The standing headscissors seems to me to never be about what it takes to best an opponent. Guys don’t pull this one out of their quiver in a flurry of moves and counter-moves, for the most part. This isn’t a competitive hold that brings an opponent to submission or pins his shoulders to the mat or even efficiently wears him down, nearly as much as it is a gloating, sadistic, exploitation of a groveling challenger who’s already been beaten down to size.  The standing headscissors seems to me to logically appear in the chain of the well-told homoerotic wrestling story right after the tide-turning offensive maneuver, but a few moves before the stick-a-fork-in-it-you’re-done-mother-fucker finisher.

Dante Rosetti’s gargantuan thighs say, “Welcome to your new home,” to Barry Longshaw’s skull in BG East’s Fantasymen 9.

My personal infatuation with the standing headscissors was featured in one of my favorite pieces of celebrity homoerotic  wrestling fiction from my collection, the Producer’s Ring. The match pits Scottish bull Gerard Butler out to wipe the smirk off the face of English beefcake, Sean Maguire, after Sean’s sweetly humiliating parody of Gerard’s muscle-fantasy performance in the movie 300.

Which naked hunk grinds out a standing headscissors? Gerard Butler on the left (scene from “300”), or Sean Maguire on the right (scene from 300 parody “Meet the Spartans”)?

Again, the scenario is precisely after the tide-turner, before the official end of the match. Spectacularly muscled Gerard (damn, I love his body!) has been crushed (starting with his scrotum), and terrorized into total submission. Smart-ass hottie Sean verbally commands the groveling Scot to willingly shove his head in between Sean’s thighs. There’s a moment’s pause, but Gerard has been laid waste by this point. In a moment of complete submission, on his knees, he slides his head in, and Sean proceeds to crush, nearly rips Gerard’s massive shoulders out of their sockets, and then pumps out a two-fisted orgasm, slathering the Scot’s wide, rippled back in cum. Yeah, that’s pretty much how that fantasy rolls…

Muscle fantasyman Wade Cutler gets milked dry trapped in an exquisitely beautiful standing headscissors by Nick Caruso in BG East’s Hard Pros 6.

Not long ago, in one of those nervous, self-concious, try-not-to-appear-criminally-obsessed moments, I wrote a personal note to encourage one of my top currently competing homoerotic wrestling infatuations to keep a standing headscissors in mind when he’s called up for another match.  He promised me he’d take it under advisement.  For my tastes, it’s underused, and some wrestlers can tell that story of total domination and barely-need-to-lift-my-finger-to-fuck-you-over narrative so, so well. My eyes are peeled, because just thinking about a standing headscissors is making me sweat!