Kiss It Some More

Ace Hanson v Antonio – Thunder’s Arena’s No Holds Barred 5

If there’s one image that put Ace Hanson over the top in winning my homoerotic wrestler of the month title, it’s got to be the image of him flexing his huge bicep in Antonio’s face in No Holds Barred 5. Sweat streams down Ace’s forehead, drops falling from his brow. His freckled back is browned from the Florida sun. He presses the peak of his stunning bicep against Antonio’s nose humiliatingly, surely the scent of Ace’s sweaty body filling Antonio’s nostrils. “Kiss it,” Ace demands. And Antonio kisses it. Good God, that turns me on.

Mitch Colby v Jeremy Burk – BG East’s Motel Madness 8
I just don’t really watch much straight-up wrestling these days, but I have to imagine that this is not a common plot development. One man’s lips planted on the body of another is inherently homoerotic. I suppose even straight-up pro wrestling might dabble in a humiliating bicep kiss as an act of subjugation, sort of a bully’s prank, chuckling at the “degradation” he’s wrought on his loser opponent. Some of you who follow straight-up fare can tell me if this does, indeed, pop up from time to time. Regardless of whether straight-up wrestlers work a forced bicep kiss into their repertoire, I still say there’s something essentially, unmistakably homoerotic about one man’s lips on any part of another man’s body. Mitch Colby, with his massive hand holding Jeremy Burk’s head like a grapefruit, pressed the twink’s mouth against his beautiful bicep in Motel Madness 8. That kiss, along with Mitch shoving Jeremy’s face into his crotch and scissoring the twink’s head while Jeremy copped a completely understandable feel of Mitch’s pecs, decisively turned this motel pick-up match unavoidably down the path that would lead them to end up soaping each other up, tongues down each other’s throats, soon afterward.
Kid Vicious v Lobolito – BG East’s Wet & Wild 4
Reigning BG East sadist-extraordinaire, Kid Vicious, may not have the biggest biceps, but they’re nonetheless beautiful and more importantly, devastating. Every KV wrestling match is a morality tale in mastery. And the moral of the story? Don’t fuck with KV, or more truthfully, get ready to be fucked over by KV. Skill, cunning, and the complete determination to sexually dominate will overcome all challengers, particularly fresh faced newbies who think that because KV isn’t a a massive musclebound stud, he can’t be all that dangerous. The Wet & Wild 4 taming of Lobolito captures the image perfectly. Lobolito’s right hand is stretched, seemingly lovingly, across KV’s lower back, his tongue obediently lapping at KV’s rock hard bicep (KV is looking particularly toned in this bout). It it weren’t for the look of abject anguish on Lobolito’s face, the sneering domination written across KV’s face, and the leather studded belt wrapped around Lobolito’s neck, the better for KV to completely exercise his vicious control.

Kid Vicious v Kieron Knight – BG East’s Bootboy Brawl 5

I haven’t seen them all, but I’m assuming every KV match includes his opponent’s lips pressed against his body. And why not? If you’re as accomplished at the homoerotic arts of physical domination as KV, why wouldn’t you insist that every conquest include some carnal worship? Babyfaced Kieron Knight from Bootboy Brawl 5 is clearly an awed protege of the vicious one, as quick off the dime to kiss his bicep as he is to do his darnedest to show the master the best he’s got. To know when to be tender and to know when to be tough is surely the sign of a zen-homoerotic-wrestling master.

Rusty Stevens v Mitch Colby – BG East’s The Breaking Point: Sexiest [by far]
And just to cover my bases on the topic, I also want to mention that I’m a big, big fan of the self-worshiping homoerotic wrestling hunk. Any self-worship has it’s delights, but particularly the self-worship of a stunningly muscled, accomplished and always dangerous wrestler like Rusty Stevens, pushes the same buttons for me as the forced bicep kiss from an opponent (well, the buttons are at least kink-adjacent). It’s cliche, I know, and yet I’m always a sucker for a hunk with baseball biceps lifting his arm to his face and planting a lingering, adoring, lustful kiss on his own bicep. Any beautiful physique can pull this off satisfyingly for me, but particularly a physique that I’ve seen dominate hunk after hunk, inflicting precisely measures quantities of pain and humiliation, putting every aesthetically perfect muscle to no better possible use than to one overmatched stud after another. The bicep kiss is just giving credit where credit is due – showing some love to what got you there, and to what it is that will bring home victory after sexually dominating victory.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

February brought us a hardy winter crop of homoerotic wrestling. As I mentioned a few days ago, Thunder’s Arena’s presentation of Ace Hanson punishing Antonio for trying to steal his truck in No Holds Barred 5 comes with the promise from Thunder’s that this is their hottest match ever, meaning Ace and Antonio are instant contenders for February’s homoerotic wrestler of the month title. Ace also did double duty in No Holds Barred 4 against Dallas, and Antonio did a second stint this month against Angel in Mat Wars 24. Z-Man and Cody Nelson get nominations for their prettyboy scramble in Thunder’s Mat Wars 24, and just under the wire for February’s offerings comes Cameron Mathews’ work to tame hilariously named Rocky Brick in Mat Wars 25. Thunder’s is definitely dominating the field this month when it comes to nominations! But Rock Hard Wrestling has a slate of nominations to offer, as well, all from the same tag-team match up: muscle studs Tyler Reeves and Max Powers and their doe-eyed prey Chris(tian) Cox(Taylor) and Jeff (Skip) Hollister (Vance). Can-Am is going to the well a second time with their gorgeous rookie workhorse, Landon Mycles appearing in the obligatory follow up to his debut ring match (which earned him a homoerotic wrestler of the month title), starring in their Hard Heroes storyline. Can-Am also is putting up Cameron Mathews (damn, that boy is busy… and has a beautiful ass…), Donnie Drake, and Rio Garza for Pro Bashed Triple Threat, and Aryx Quinn and A.J. Irons for the much-anticipated (by me) sequel, Pro Sex Fight 2. I liked the look of several Naked Kombat boys in February, including DJ making an entirely respectable bid to be the first back-to-back repeat title holder for his domination of thug Nikko Alexander; lean-n-mean rookie Adonismasterful debut against Gianni Luca; and stunning slice of thick, thick beef, rookie Roman Rivers for getting those massive, hot muscles of his tamed and claimed by veteran Leo Forte.
Damn, even without any BG East new releases, that’s a hard and thick field of competitors. This is legitimately a tough call for me for all the right reasons this month. I’d like to spread the love far and wide, but, truth be told, this is not such a tight race that I could say we’ve got a tie. No, I have to put my finger on one homoerotic wrestling stud in particular who noses his way ahead of the competitive pack this time around with a truly inspired performance. February’s homoerotic wrestler of the month is, decisively…

It turns out, I totally buy the marketer who dubbed Ace’s action on the mat with Antonio as Thunder’s Arena’s hottest. Story is, Ace catches Antonio trying to hotwire his truck… while it’s still in the garage. Characters are established immediately (e.g., Antonio isn’t all that bright; Ace is aggrieved). Thunder’s reports these boys at just about the same size, but Ace manhandles Antonio like Saturday’s laundry. Antonio, for his part, actually has a legitimate bid here for the homoerotic wrestler of the month title. It’s not because he wrestles particularly well or convincingly. In fact, this is a remarkably one-sided match in which Antonio is pounded, twisted, pried and prodded mercilessly, without putting up much of a fight at all. But damn it, he looks like he’s actually ashamed for having been caught trying to steal Ace’s truck! I pretty much buy that Antonio takes his humiliation like well-deserved penance for his sins, and a big man who sucks up his deserved punishment without whining about it is awfully hot. But then again, in this scenario of Antonio doing penance, that makes Ace the hand of God, and that’s just that much hotter.

Ace tosses 220 pound Antonio over his shoulder, walks him through the Thunder’s house, and dumps him on the mat. Ace looks hungry as he slips on his gloves and rips off his t-shirt and jeans, his huge, gorgeous legs and ass possibly never better displayed than in his neon green zebra-stripe trunks. Ace proceeds to dish out Antonio’s punishment eagerly, determined to teach the red-handed boy a lesson he’ll never forget. But what strikes me immediately here is that Ace’s mat work is… well… so fucking intimate! I mean, wrestling and full-contact fighting are always a hair’s-breadth away from full-on simulated fucking. That goes without saying. But with Antonio taking his punishment in shame and Ace eagerly climbing on top, pressing their faces together cheek to cheek while grinding his crotch into Antonio’s lower abdomen… damn.

With Antonio on his back, Ace has Antonio’s right arm in an armlock that looks like the poor thief’s elbow could snap at any moment. “Oh, yeah… oh, yeah….” Ace whispers as Antonio grunts in bursts of pain. “Come on… come on…” Ace whispers with just a hint of pleading in his voice. Shut your eyes, and you’d swear these boys were fucking. Wrapping up Antonio’s head between Ace’s thighs, Ace crows, “Put that head where it belongs!” Flexing his glutes rhythmically, he snarls, “Feel that!? Huh!?”

Ace takes Antonio to the brink of being sleepered out cold, and then rips the hunk’s board shorts off of him. Ace starts to taunt him. “You got no life in you! Why you got no life in you boy? You wanna just lay there like that? Huh!?” He folds Antonio up and sits his big, glorious glutes down in the truck thief’s face humiliatingly. In barely adequate metallic white posing trunks, Antonio can only grunt as Ace slaps his vulnerable ass and crows, “I got you all kinked up now!” And indeed, things take a fantastically kinky turn, as Ace marvels at his own handiwork, looking down at Antonio spread-eagled helplessly underneath him. Ace reaches down and claws the truck thief’s balls, and like me, Antonio gasps.

“Come on, show me a little bit! Let me see if you’ve got some muscles on you!” Ace demands of his suffering opponent. Antonio begins to try to flex in obedience, but Ace quickly snorts in disgust and shows Antonio his bicep… up close… demanding that Antonio kiss it… which he does. Mounting him again and locking up his arms, Ace whispers almost lovingly, “That’s right, just catch your breath. I got ya. That’s right. Right there, that’s right.” Ace thrusts his hips against Antonio’s abdomen, making his massive glutes quiver as Antonio grunts in time. Ace tortures Antonio’s nipple. He wraps up Antonio’s head in a figure-4 leglock, with Antonio’s nose crushed against the base of Ace’s scrotum. More ball claws (“Say ‘mercy’ or I’ll squeeze it off!”). He forces Antonio to worship his softball-size bicep (“See that! Huh? It’s nice, isn’t it.” Yeah, Antonio grunts. “Touch it! Touch it! Come on, grab it!”) and stroke and kiss his massive, flexed quads. Ace hoists (let me remind you, 220 pound!) Antonio up over his shoulder, shoving the thief’s face into Ace’s crotch with lingering, humiliating delight.
So, Antonio decidedly does not merit homoerotic wrestler of the month after all, really, because this match is entirely a testimony to Ace’s hard work and sweat. Ace taps into a wrestling kink sadist streak deep within him that takes awesomely homoerotic turns. Ace tells this story. Ace paces the action. Ace delivers an onslaught of humiliating punishment that surely, nearly, washes away Antonio’s sins. Ace is, without a doubt, my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month.

Kiss It

I haven’t yet seen the newest match from Thunder’s Arena, starring work horse Ace Hanson facing off with rookie Antonio. The members-only area has these tantalizing pics and the provocative tease that this bout, No Holds Barred 5, may be their hottest yet. Sure, sure. We’ve all heard this before from every company serving up every new release. It wouldn’t exactly be a good marketing strategy to say, “This match is of mediocre hotness and may entertain you moderately.” The marketing office comes up with cliches like “hottest yet.” It’s consumers like you an me that are really the only ones to be in a position to back up a claim like that, though.

But damn, I must admit, the teaser pics for this match make me think this could be the hottest yet from Thunder’s Arena. This is the power of pics and marketing at work, my friends. I am being moved to fill in the gaps between frozen frames in such a way that I’m aching to see the match that my imagination is writing for me based on the barest of outlines. Ace looks like he’s got something to prove against the gorgeous, meaty challenge of Antonio. The ostensible story is that Ace caught Antonio stealing his truck (really… the Latino guy was caught stealing the white guy’s truck… really?). More than one pic shows Ace rubbing his massive bicep in Antonio’s face, and if we believe what we read (I do, every word), Ace forces Antonio to kiss his bicep. There’s reportedly spanking involved. Beads of sweat can clearly be seen coursing their way down Ace’s forehead. Antonio looks like he’s a big, big boy unaccustomed to getting manhandled, finding himself manhandled. These are all elements of hot wrestling kink. This looks promising (ignoring the potentially racist overtones…).

I fully intend on watching this match when I’ve got the time to take the time to truly appreciate it. In the mean time, I’m just drawn to the obvious. Ace in a zebra print green speedo is inspired. Those huge, round, squeezable glutes of his should never, ever, ever again be wrapped up in bicycle shorts. The sight of his bare thighs wrapped around Antonio’s head should require no further argument. Screw the square cuts and mid-thigh lycra.

And if we’re encouraging what’s working, let’s all raise a cheer for Ace putting those glutes to optimal use by squeezing Antonio’s head often and sitting on the rookie’s face. For anyone, this is humiliating. For someone finding his face crushed beneath the slabs of beef that are Ace’s glutes, though, this has also got to be seriously punishing. It’s also making me crazy to trade places with Antonio. If I could write this script, Ace would also require Antonio to kiss his ass, but I’m not expecting Thunder’s to venture into that territory. Please, please, please, Thunder’s, prove me wrong.

And, frankly, I’m a jonesin’ quite a bit to trade places with Ace, as well. Sweet man alive, Antonio is stunning in still life. The very brief white briefs leave nearly nothing to be imagined. Some major manhandling of a boy this big looks like a muscleboy on muscleboy bonanza. Often, Thunder’s strays too far into fratboy-horsing-around territory to completely satiate me. But if Ace is working out some convincing domination with a need to humiliate, punish, and tame the big rookie, illustrating that he’s the muscle stud not to be fucked with… this very well could qualify for Thunder’s Arena’s hottest yet. I’ll let you know what I think when the still life comes to life.