Johnny Firestorm – Sidelineland

I’m not the only one seeing this, right? Wrestling as a bondage fantasy is all over the place. Tying up a stunned hunk between the ropes and working them over with both hands (and knees, and boots, and your partner, if applicable…) is directly out a BDSM playbook.

Okay, so obviously I’m not the only one seeing this. Wrestling Arsenal has several galleries devoted to the wonders of a wrestler tied in the ropes. Using the ropes as tools of torture is true artistry. Turning the set into the subject of a battle is the sign of a creative mind. But the creativity is just starting there. Finding new, ingenious ways of capturing and torturing your helpless opponent in the ropes is a many splendored thing. Like the doomed hunk in pink tights suspended helplessly from the ropes and his inverted opponent’s clutches, there are always new ways being invented to suffer with the aid of the ring ropes.

BG East’s Nick Archer takes the direct approach on poor Jason Zamora. Just position your man prone and step on the bottom rope, choking the sucker. Nick uses the top rope for balance. Personally, I’d like to see the top rope taut in the opposite direction, with Nick using it for extra leverage to apply more force across the poor chump’s throat. But that’s just me.

Lot’s of guys can lace a man’s arms between the top two ropes and hang him helpless inside the ring, but Sting here flipped the scenario outside the ring, leaving the gorgeous body of Rick Rude on stunning display, literally suspended off the ground. That bastard official looks like he’s going to ruin this scenario well before some serious discipline could be applied to Rick’s helplessly hunky body.

Early in Brad Rochelle’s BG East career, he won “Rookie of the Year” at the end of his systematic, sadistic dismantling of a young Patrick Donovan. Brad finished Patrick off with this truly inspired use of the ropes, immobilizing Patrick’s shoulders in the bottom two ropes and then lifting his body off the mat in a nicely suspended Boston crab variation. The cherry on top in this scenario was the standing ovation of the wrestlers watching outside the ring, who sealed Patrick’s humiliation by taking turns slapping him in the face as he remained trapped just this way in the ropes.

Karma is a bitch, though. Years later, after Brad’s suffering has propelled him to the heights of jobberhood, the Enforcer had him suffering miserably, his neck being pried painfully over the very same ropes with which he’s once humiliated young Patrick. The hunter quickly became the hunted, and our hopeless hero in white (specifically his trunks, though he’s awfully pale as well), is now the mounted trophy for Enforcer to examine and feel every inch of Brad’s tortured physique.

And speaking of tortured physique, did you catch the mega talent packed into a slender, tight package (aka Reese Wells) trapped in the ropes and having his balls crushed by Johnny Firestorm!? Johnny clearly is right there with me in recognizing the rope work as BDSM in the ring. Johnny actually uses the ropes from various angles to assault Reese’s balls and cock every which way. Our brave little scrapper with the literal target across his crotch screams and suffers valiantly, completing the cast of characters of the sadist and his hard working masochist.

The hunk who is twisted and tied, pummeled and pried in the ring ropes is nothing if not the object of homoerotic lust. His massive muscles immobilized outline the one-to-one connection between his suffering and our sexual fantasies. To be bound and disciplined on your way to humiliating defeat is absolutely the kink I’m talking about.

Re-reading my own wrestling fiction is illuminating. Some patterns emerge that I didn’t recognize before. For example, I obviously get off on hair pulling. Who knew?

As I mull the high frequency of my fantasy fighters yanking one another around by the hair, I can certainly see the attraction. Wrestling Arsenal states it concisely: “Hair pulling is all about control.” It’s part and parcel of the humiliating submissions that turn my crank. There’s the heat-of-the-battle hair pull that signals the tables are beginning to tilt and one competitor is beginning to take ownership of his foe. Then, there’s the heel who’s destroyed his jobber and has him pinned, then at the last minute yanks the helpless victim up by the hair, thus interrupting the 3-count and rewarding the fans with more humiliating abuse. And of course there’s the post-victory gratuitous tossing around of the loser by his hair, rubbing in his humiliation and driving home the point that he wasn’t just beaten. He was owned.

One the the most over the top erotic collections in my mind is BG East’s Hunkbash 6. After exhausting oneself on the wonder of Joe Mazetti beating the crap out of Brad Rochelle, then the pure beauty of bouncer-stud and fantastically tattooed Mr. Big literally tossing Brad Leonard around the ring by his very long, curly locks (he’s clearly just asking for it), then you come to one-hit-wonders Danny Morris and Ryan Laramie. Ryan is a body beautiful muscle stud who looks like he’s going to crush little Danny. He worships himself in the mirror while pinning Danny’s shoulders to the mat and Danny’s face to his crotch with the aid of a convincing fistful of hair. The icing on this cake, though, is that Danny is a total sadist who ties the muscle hunk into the ropes and beats him up until he’s whimpering, “No more,” before eventually dragging the massive stud out of the room naked and on his knees. Ummm… yes.

For a dude with curly hair trailing down his back, Rolando certainly enjoys torturing his pretty young opponents with hair pulling. He relishes owning gorgeous bleach blond Matt Silodis in Jobberpalooza 1, commanding him to flex while holding the beaten hardbody by his hair. The juxtaposition of Matt being completely controlled by the hair and wincing in pain, while simultaneously flexing his meaty left bicep for Rolando to taunt him as having an inferior body is sweet, sweet (did I mention, sweet?) domination.

Cole Cassidy is such a gorgeous heel. In his Wrestler Spotlight tape, his beat down on Derek da Silva makes my day. The smooth “pretty” heel torturing the hairy, tattooed jobber is such a sweet turn on the classics. The shot of Cole almost casually leaning back, simultaneously bodyscissoring, hammerlocking, and hair pulling a screaming Derek is not just hot, it’s damn impressive! The choreography alone is astonishing, but both of these men also sell it like pros.

And speaking of pros, Brad Rochelle’s heel turn in The Contract 6 displays Brad’s salesmanship better than just about anything else I’ve seen him in. Johnny Firestorm is the heel-in-training punk using Brad as a practicing dummy, until Brad can stand it no longer. Jobber/muscleboy/face Brad FINALLY snaps, getting nasty on the smaller kid. Brad makes me believe that he’s gone over the edge, and the hair pulling is just one sign that Brad’s not taking shit from anyone anylonger. It’s a great set up for the second match on this tape, which allows Brad to truly display his new sadistic heel side and at the same time introduce for the first time the stunning body that we’ve come to know and love: Alexi Adamov.

Just to mix it up, I also wanted to mention a Can-Am classic, Suits to Nuts 1, for the joy of hair pulling. Strip wrestling is hot, in my book. The boundary-busting image of pretty boys in suits (despite the wrestling boots) throwing down, ripping each other’s gear to shreds, and fighting dirty is highly erotic. Brody and Mason both do their best at fighting nasty, including some nice hair pulls. As is Can-Am’s way, the ring action inevitably ends up on the blue tarp with both studs stripped and coated in oil.

So I realize that this could go on and on. Clearly I’m not the only one that enjoys seeing some fists full of hair as an element of domination in a wrestling match. Controlling your man by his hair tells a fantastic story of mastery, control, and humiliation… and I’m buying (and writing) that story.