Recipe for Success

From photographer Michael Stokes (from me to you via Homotrophy), comes this morsel of wrestling kink allusion baked just to my tastes. The rocking physique… the singlet on it’s way off, the truly stunning tats. Who is this vision ripped from a dream that I haven’t yet dreamt (but soon will)?!

Okay, so perhaps if this was truly made to order, this slice of picture-perfect beef would be climbing into a pro wrestling ring. He could keep the amateur gear on. I can totally nurse some kink-loving for the hot jock amateur stud who thinks he can bring his hard body bulging out of his  alma mater’s singlet into the pro ring and teach some “showman” what real wrestling is about. In fact, I love that culture clash of pursed-lipped, hardbodied, earnest innocence with seasoned, jaded, as-vicious-as-I-need to be experience. “The initiation” motif, opening up the merely imagined realities of a pro beat down on the muscleboy here to conquer the world, never, ever tires me, in fact.
There’s another singlet shot of this chiseled work of art on the photographer’s site (along with a dozen other aesthetically pleasing bodies in various states of undress-mostly-undressed and aroused), as well as this fig-leaf modesty pick of him on the football field. Me not being a fan of football, this pick, while delightful, is only kink-adjacent. Slap this inked, naked god into the ring, and speaking of slapping, a spanking would be absolutely essential.
Damn.

Free Will

Addictions are serious stuff. I’m completely on board with all efforts to take control of one’s life and not allow addictive substances to steal one’s dignity or well-being. But frankly, I’m a little sketchy on “behavioral” addictions, like gambling or sex, if they don’t involve foreign substances that change brain chemistry. I’m certain that I will offend when I say it (and I accept complete responsibility for my decision to say something that may bring unpleasant consequences), but I think this “addictions ideology” we’ve built for ourselves for the past fifty years has grown into, at best, too often an excuse to refuse to accept responsibility for our own actions, and at worse, a particularly vile expression of self-righteous judgmentalism that both enforces narrow and rigid lines of social conformity and offers the tempting allure of transforming fully-functioning people into victims of a faceless fiction.
All this rant, really, is just my set up to point out the absurdity of “Porn Sunday.” Sounds like a good thing, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. Because, like the name of the promoters of this bait-n-switch, Porn Sunday is an intentional deception. It’s the creation of a “church” devoted to combatting online porn. Through the discourse of “addictions,” these folks are offering the metaphorical apple of temptation. Take a bite. Accept the illusion that you’re a victim of evil forces outside your control. You couldn’t help yourself but watch porn, could you? You, poor soul, have been stripped of your free will, and turned into a tool of immoral vice.


Never has the the term Satan-in-a-Sunday-hat applied more literally, if you ask me. The marriage of Christian theology (which, let’s face it, is unapologetically pre-modern) and a modernist perception of enslaving addictions through genetics and/or brain chemistry has always been a troubled, mismatched relationship. Now, there’s plenty about the porn industry that I don’t care for. It took them way too long to care enough about their performers and their customers to address the risks of AIDS, for example. I’m a perennial critic of porn that promotes homophobia and self-hatred, for another example. But come on… there is no invisible hand clicking the computer mouse. There’s no external force unzipping your pants or pulling out… your wallet. We who consume porn do so for multiple reasons: it brings pleasure; it’s a diversion; it brings pleasure; it’s a sexual release; it brings pleasure, etc… That we are controlled by some external force that compels us to gaze at porn despite our better judgment has zero face validity.

Porn Sunday,” for those who haven’t been tracking it, is this coming Sunday, to coincide with the Superbowl. Some NFL figures are signed up for the effort. Because if anyone has the moral high ground to critique the objectification of bodies that leads to compulsive behaviors that can harm, it’s professional athletes who are payed obscene amounts of money to engage in an activity upon which millions of dollars worth of (mostly illegal) gambling rides week in and week out, isn’t it? 
It’s not as if these very same athletes signing up for Porn Sunday have ever sold skin shots to convince consumers to shell out cash on unnecessary merchandise, is it? It’s not as if precisely these athletes have ever gone shirtless for softcore capitalist commodification of the hot, bare human body, in order to call up sexual lust in the interest of corporate profit, right?
And it’s not as if the NFL promotes unhealthy lifestyles, objectifying and valorizing artificially enhanced physiologies, unhealthy behaviors and self-destructive, self-defeating, unrealistic body images. It’s not as if the hypermasculinization of the NFL has ever contributed to violence or degradation of vulnerable people, right?
I, for one, will be celebrating Porn Sunday this Sunday by making a purchase from a site that features “adult-oriented subject matter,” and requires that I am of legal age and willingly requesting to receive electronic transmission of “adult-oriented material.” And I’ll do it because I don’t think it’s the internet, or porn, or pornboys, or the joy of gazing at beautiful bodies engaged in sex or (wrestling) foreplay that makes me, against my will, enjoy the celebration of sexuality, sex, and bodies. Instead, I’ve got a sex-positive spirituality and sexuality that lead me to believe that this creeping (and creepy) “addictions ideology” smacks an awful lot of the same puritanical, anti-body, anti-sex, anti-gay, anti-women, anti-embodiment politics that has plagued this country since its inception.
God, save me from the self-righteous hypocrites who would try to convince me to be ashamed of my sexuality, my lust, my love, or my body (or yours).

Telling the Story

How do I miss these things? Someone who clearly knows my tastes very well commended BG East’s two book series entitled, “Sexfights at the BG Arena.” The text is by none other than Kid Leopard himself, and the graphics are by the incomparable, late MATT. This is the tale of hardcore pro-wrestling for you and me, told from the perspective of the hot, hard boys who climb into this very particular ring.

This is ALL about my kink! My own wrestling fiction has been striving to capture just a slice of what Sexfights offers. The characters are written with a lustful, loving hand. The ring action (thank you Jesus) is straight out of the very best of classic pro-wrestling, with the necessary twist that the ring is surrounded by hot and horny gay men with precisely the kink that draws you to read this very blog, and the star-studded talent in the ring is keen to please both the promoter and this particular crowd.

The 2-parter tells the story of one night at the BG Arena, with the blow-by-blow told from the locker room to the ring and back again throughout a packed card of hard muscled pro-wrestlers working for increasingly erotic stakes. My favorite match is from the second part, where former tag-team partners, Tony Napoli and Skeeter Birmingham, are consummating a long, slowly boiling over grudge. After their partnership dramatically collapsed, and two back-and-forth grudge matches over the course of a couple months split the score, tonight they show up for the decisive third match to determine who’s “going over.” In the end, Skeeter drapes Tony’s beaten body face-first across the top ropes in one corner. Yanking down Tony’s trunks to reveal his “rock hard butt,” Skeeter slides his massive cock up and down between his buddy’s muscle ass.

“Skeeter humped and thrust his spear into Tony’s most private public part. He leaned his full weight againt his buddy’s back, two sweat-soaked gladiators as engaged as they could possibly be. His teeth impressed on Tony’s earlobe and he stuck his tongue deep into Tony’s ear. His right thumb and forefinger located Tony’s protruding right nipple. He squeezed hard. ‘It’s over, T, and you lose.'”

Simply fantastic. I highly, highly recommend Sexfights for anyone who’s got a kick for wrestling kink text with a side of classic MATT homoerotic wrestling graphics. And my thanks to Kid Leopard for his permission to post these images and the delightful sample of text. Now, where do I get tickets for next Friday at the BG Arena!?

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel

Joe has already posted an excellent low-down on the entertainingly bizarre Thunder’s Arena holiday release featuring a masked Secret Santa and his Evil Elf beating the crap out of one another. For an overview of what you get with this novelty match, including a most insightful implication of this as a Marxist morality tale, check out Ringside at Skull Island. On this 11th day of Christmas, I’d just like to point out a couple of additional things that caught me by surprise with this match.

Santa’s ass ROCKS! Even covered head-to-toe in red spandex, Santa is one hot, hot, HOT sexy beast! That perky, diamond-cut pair of glutes somehow defies the laws of physiques and human physiology at the same time. This is one of those moments when I find myself talking at the screen as I’m watching: “You’ve got to be kidding me! I could balance a beer bottle on that shelf!” The Evil Elf’s ass is quite an astonishing piece of art as well, but I’ve talked about those glutes extensively already.

Another point worth repeating is that, for what at first glance appears to be all gimmick, Secret Santa v the Evil Elf is packed with some impressive wrestling action. This seems less surprising once the masks are ripped off and we see the talent underneath. Of course, too much gimmick can signal weak wrestling, but that’s just not the case here. It has more a sense of horseplay than fierce competition, but the action is legitimate pros-on-mats quality that makes me stop thinking of this as a novelty match and more as entertaining wrestling.

A third point (I know, I planned on only making two), Secret Santa v the Evil Elf plays more homoerotic than I typically expect from Thunder’s Arena. The wrestlers here are both quick witted and sharp tongued, and they skillfully walk a fine line between homophobic locker room barbs and full-on gay fantasy (which is a very, very fine line indeed, as far as I’m concerned). When the boys started telling their story at the beginning of the match, I suspected that this could turn horribly wrong. Santa drops in several, “That’s not what you said last night…” lines, alluding to having owned Elf’s ass in their shared bedroom. This could have gone in a train wreck, “no-homo,” sort of direction.

But surprisingly, it doesn’t! They both tell the same story throughout, certainly with tongue-in-cheek but seemingly without apology. Santa and the Evil Elf are lovers, with Santa as a domineering dom and Elf as his under-appreciated buttboy houseboy. The relentless dom that Santa is, he’s riding Elf constantly for being a slacker and needing to be disciplined. Elf is the fiesty cub who decides he’s going to challenge his bear daddy once and for all. Sure, he may bottom by night, but he’s determined to climb on top and whip Santa’s mind-blowing ass by day. I both applaud and empathize with that goal!

It’s a formula that Thunder’s is doing with increasing skill, I think. They’re fully committing. They’ve always, from the very beginning, had their tongues firmly in cheeks. Most of the Thunder’s wrestlers display a sharp-witted, self-deprecating sense of humor that’s quite endearing. More and more, they’re bringing a smart and smart-ass sensibility to their matches, telling a story, letting some homoeroticism hang there in the air without flinching, and seeing the whole thing through without breaking face (which has been a big complaint of mine in the distant past of Thunder’s matches).

So in addition to everything Joe has to say about Secret Santa v the Evil Elf, I also just want to say that this match really took me by surprise, entertained me, and grabbed hold of my wrestling kink with both hands. Having been introduced to Santa’s ass, I’m now combing through the back catalog to catch more of that aptly-named performer’s body of work. For the over-the-top gimmickry, for the legitimate pro-mat wrestling, for the powerfully beautiful bodies, and for the all-in story telling, I must say, I, too, am a fan of Secret Santa v the Evil Elf.

Rising to the Challenge

Last month, Bearhugs sent me a pro-wrestling short story to post over at Sidelineland. It stars bodybuilder bruiser “Neil,” a local scene pro-wrestling fixture, who has a chance meeting with an old high school buddy at his gym. His old buddy, Shane, drops into conversation that he’s been staying in shape with a wrestling club, and just hoping for a shot at the big time sooner or later. It seems like kismet when Neil proposes to do his buddy a favor, and signs them both up with his wrestling promoter for a match to introduce Shane to the crowds at the arena that very night.

As Bearhugs tells us, Neil was considerably less benevolent in setting this whole scenario up than it first appeared. He beats the living crap out of his “old buddy,” humiliating him across every inch of the ring until the crowds actually grow concerned for Shane’s survival. Neil reveals that he’s been harboring an old grudge for years, and he’s working out not only an epic heel-turn career move, but some pent up needs to even an old score. The bell signals the end of Shane’s “big break” in pro wrestling, and Neil drags him helplessly back to the locker rooms where he ties him up for some post match postscript.

Then Bearhugs challenged me to write “part 2” of Shane’s Big Break. What an excellent intellectual and creative challenge! And I’m nothing if not turned on by a challenge. So I’ve completed my vision of “part 2” of Shane’s Big Break, in which Shane learns that both Neil and the world of pro wrestling have a lot more to teach him, still. This is my stab at a hands on, full on erotic sex-text, in accord with some of the chatter over at Sidelineland and Producer’s Ring looking for a few loser-seriously-gets-fucked matches. Personally, I find a lot of wrestling entirely and satisfyingly homoerotic without anyone getting literally fucked, but there’s nothing at all wrong with loser-gets-fucked stakes, either. I’ve posted Shane’s Big Break – Part 2 over at Sidelineland right now for members to check out.

I hope that I’ve done Bearhugs’ set-up justice. I’ve developed a serious crush on baby-monster heel Neil, and I’d love to see someone else take a shot at Part 3 (I’m thinking there are some High Rollers who’d pay to see No Holds Barred 1-on-2 action with Neil schooling Shane and some other twink pro wannabe at the same time). Thanks for the fun, Bearhugs!

10 Lords-a-Leaping

Tis the season and all that jazz. I’m feeling a little unmoored in the season of holidays this year. It’ll probably pass in time for me to get stuffed with food and feel the nostalgic adrenaline rush of receiving presents to tear open like a lion taking down a gazelle.

In the mean time, I’ve got my tongue firmly in cheek as we head into the eve of the notorious day. I’ve got a taste for the irreverent Christmas treat, the scandalous perversion of the high holy day, the middle finger flown in the face of uptight carolers. If anyone deserves a lump of coal in his stocking this year, I’m sure it’s me.



As you well know, in my brain, all good things (and most bad) lead back to hot men in various stages of undress, frequently engaged in wrestling scenarios with homoerotic undertones or, even better, overtones. Frankly, I find it hard to find hot, Christmas-themed homoerotic wrestling treasure, and that’s just sad.

I suppose the notorious day is supposed to make us all feel pre-pubescent, harkening back to a more innocent time when we couldn’t quite imagine what sex was and the most thrilling thing in the world was an unopened gift. I think that time passed for me when I was about 5 years old, though (seriously). And these days I’m all about injecting the sexy into the holidays. With that in mind, here’s my vote for sexiest YouTube santa. I think absolutely every Santa should have a six pack, a dimpled chin, ice blue eyes, (okay, so just a tad less mousse), a back tat, a tight round ass and a tightly packed crotch. Here’s hoping you have happy holiday dreams of a hardbody Santa squeezing down your chimney tonight!

A Disturbing Glimpse

Snapper sent me a link to “BattleBang.” This is one of those perplexing glimpses into heterosexual porn… I guess… that oddly attracts me and repulses me at the same time (or in rapid succession… I’ll explain…).

Apparently, BattleBang pits two male porn stars against one another in a cage fight. The winner is rewarded with sex with the pretty woman, and the loser is punished by suffering humiliating domination by an overweight dominatrix.

As Snapper put it, “Now, who is this supposed to be marketed to?” I know that straight guys watch cage fighting, but as foreplay? Really?
The action looks sincere, though tap outs seem to come in rapid succession. Some of the boys look quite hot, which again makes me wonder about what straight guys are looking for in their porn. Setting aside the sex with women, this could just about tweak my kink. But the story just puts me off. The motivation (winner fucks the “hot chick,” loser suffers at the hands of an unattractive dominatrix) is just too aversive for me. This seems like a lose-lose scenario, and the less I have to see or ponder straight sex of any kind, the happier and healthier I am.
Perhaps the bi guys among us can get into this more than I can. More power to you. I think NakedKombat is writing our version of this concept, with better action and a more intrinsically motivated payoff that doesn’t include “poontang” (seriously, someone is still using that term?). It does highlight for me the importance of the narrative in my erotic imagination. The context, the story can make a wrestling match sizzling hot for me. See Joe for some extremely hot story concepts that can turn me on before I even know who is starring in them. And, as BattleBang illustrates, some of the same elements that rev my engine, transported into a different narrative and heading in an entirely different direction, takes something potentially hot and douses it with ice water. I can think of much more entertaining scenarios for some of these pics than the bizarre truth. And in my scenarios, those baggy shorts don’t last long at all in the fight.

Oppositional-Defiant

I hate conformity. Not to say that I don’t do my share of cow-towing conforming, but I hate it. Squeezing everything and everyone into the same package just makes me feel so… closeted somehow. What brings this existential thought on at this moment is Google. Google has just told me that I have to use the new, “better” Blogger editor. And suddenly I can’t find the font size that I want anymore. The text is either too small or WAY TOO BIG!!!! The font size I liked in the old editor just isn’t an option anymore. I must conform to Blogger’s interpretation of progress. I hate conformity.

I had a social worker boyfriend once who told me that I was oppositional-defiant. Apparently, I was supposed to feel some shame about that. It’s apparently the clinical diagnosis that they give kids who are on their way to being officially labeled sociopaths once they’re adults. But “oppositional-defiant” has a ring to it that I like, somehow. Whatever it means clinically, I like to think of it as a highbrow way of saying that I march to the beat of my own drummer.

And so when I must conform, I’m resentful. The brilliant minds at Google not only have recently told me that I must conform to use the new, “improved” Blogger editor, but I also have been using Google Groups all wrong for the past year. Despite them having a web address, I’ve been informed that the two wrestling fiction group sites I administer are not, in fact, “websites.” I must migrate all my wrestling fiction and graphics somewhere else, because they will delete my pages and files soon. I’ll be happier, they tell me, following the directions and conforming. Straighten my tie, they tell me. Part my hair down the side, they say. Don’t be too outrageous or “alternative.” Be happy with the choices that they’ve given me and forget about what I was already quite happy with that I can’t have any longer.

So clearly, I’m working through some issues with all of these directives from Google. I’ll be bitter for a while. I’ll resent Google and their evil genius minds systematically taking over the world and turning us all into obedient capitalist consumers (okay, so I’ve also been told I’m paranoid). But eventually, I’ll get over it. And frankly, in the mean time, I’ll conform despite myself. I’ll send out instructions on where the wrestling fiction migrates to. And if this damn font size makes you squint, don’t complain to me. Take it up with the evil geniuses who are making me conform, subdue, restrain and tolerate the choices that they think I should have.

Another Side of Wrestling

Lately, I’ve been recommitted to following my mother’s advice: if you don’t have anything good to say about someone, don’t say anything at all. But it’s not as if I have nothing at all good to say about Powermen.com’s Tagteam. For some bigger-than-can-be-believed muscleboys in ever-so-brief briefs, rolling around in a makeshift ring on their way toward some side-by-side jerk off scenes in the locker room, Tagteam is 100% on the money. It has the elements of big, big, big muscles, generous sharing, and simulated eroticism in the form of simulated grappling.

That’s not trash talk, I swear. That alone can pass the time for me three days out of ten. It’s at least twice the eroticism as a “solo” video of a hot harbody stripping naked and working one out all by himself. And I’m seriously a fan of the guy on top of this schoolboy pin. He’s got a look that makes me feel compelled to do things to him that I’m normally way too much of a prude to think twice about.

So I think all that credit-where-credit’s-due above now entitles me to point out the obvious. This just isn’t wrestling. It isn’t tag team wrestling. It isn’t pitched to wrestling kink really at all. It’s mostly a photo shoot of these four muscleboys posing in “wrestling-inspired” positions. Frankly, it’s a little odd in video format for that very reason. It’s all about striking a provocative pose, which most of the time is mildly entertaining with a 3 times out of 10 return value for the aesthetics, not the kink. And in my HUMBLE opinion, four guys leaning against a wall, eyes closed, oblivious to one another as they all masturbate, isn’t particularly erotic. Whatever is turning these guys on, it isn’t each other, and that’s just disappointing and anti-climactic, regardless of the four climaxes on tape. I was willing to cut my blond bombshell, Jay from Powermen’s Kane vs. Jay some slack on this count. But the Tagteam boys just can’t drag me down that road like Jay can.

Still, I think it says something encouraging for those of us into the wrestling kink side of things. Just like the “solo” strip-n-jerk sort of serves as something somewhere between light beer and non-alcoholic beer, the wrestle-like work of Powermen.com’s Tagteam suggests that there are markets for less hardcore wrestling (and less hardcore porn). Perhaps some guys are topped off by the mere suggestion of wrestling, but I also suspect that there are guys who might cut their teeth on this sort of paddycake grappling as a gateway into more well-rounded erotic wrestling kink wonders. So it’s NOT all bad. It’s hardly a full-course meal for me, but as a side dish, it’s likely a tasty treat for others.

Labors and Love

Labor Day weekend is coming to a close in the US, and a nation that’s forgotten its roots in valorizing hard working, working class heroes once again has no idea what to do with itself. Since we really no longer celebrate labor as a nation, and really now model our national success stories after lottery winners and corporate captains of “industry” (who’ve never broken a sweat in their lives), I’m feeling nostalgic today for some hard, hot guys who get dirty.
So this Labor Day, I’m saying bring on the firefighters. Particularly the hunky, hot bodied, gym toned, chisel chinned, runway-ready ones that show up in the calendars, but I’m really a fan of all of them. They work hard doing dangerous work on all sorts of crazy-ass schedules. And they save lives. True story, when I was a small kid our house caught fire and I hid in a closet (the literal one, not the metaphorical one). I was rescued by a firefighter, and the house wasn’t a total loss. Enter my lifelong lust for a hero in rubber boots with a two-handed grasp on his massive hose. It’s not a competition, of course. But I have to say I’m awful partial to the boys that Seattle puts up each year as they raise money for burn prevention and research. And whatever they feed them in Seattle, their firefighters seem to have sliced to shreds abs, year in and year out.
I tend to harbor a grudge against most things New York, because New Yorkers seem to consider themselves the center of gravitational pull for the entire universe (admit it, New Yorkers… you do…). They do hire some sweet, hardbodied hotties to whip out their hoses, though. And the proceeds benefit the Staten Island Burn Center. Win-win.

I haven’t actually seen a South Florida Firefighters Calendar, but these tall, dark and handsome hardbodies make me think I’m due for a trip to Miami Beach. I’m not as compelled by the generic charities they seem to raise money for, but if they oiled this pair up and let me watch them wrestle, I’d sign over most of everything I own for… whatever it is they want my money for.

Some more honorable mentions… Colorado has been putting up beautiful, shaved, massive, bare pecs for a while now. They’re working for your dollars and cents to support Children’s Hospital Burn Center.
And finally, a couple of delightful contenders (though it’s still NOT a competition) who only get honorable mentions because they aren’t celebrating Labor Day where the come from. This tatooed, axe-weilding, babyface hero is from a Toronto firefighter calendar, where they show their big and beautiful bare chests for cancer research. Burn research seems more an intuitive connection with firefighters to me, but there’s nothing wrong with cancer research, by any means.

Finally, this slice of beef is indicative of the quality meat exploited in the UK to get you to donate for services for fire and burn victims in the UK. So, in my recovered memory from being a small child trapped in my closet, this is what it looked like when the firefighter came in and rescued me.
Exactly like this.

Happy Labor Day.