Labors and Love

Labor Day weekend is coming to a close in the US, and a nation that’s forgotten its roots in valorizing hard working, working class heroes once again has no idea what to do with itself. Since we really no longer celebrate labor as a nation, and really now model our national success stories after lottery winners and corporate captains of “industry” (who’ve never broken a sweat in their lives), I’m feeling nostalgic today for some hard, hot guys who get dirty.
So this Labor Day, I’m saying bring on the firefighters. Particularly the hunky, hot bodied, gym toned, chisel chinned, runway-ready ones that show up in the calendars, but I’m really a fan of all of them. They work hard doing dangerous work on all sorts of crazy-ass schedules. And they save lives. True story, when I was a small kid our house caught fire and I hid in a closet (the literal one, not the metaphorical one). I was rescued by a firefighter, and the house wasn’t a total loss. Enter my lifelong lust for a hero in rubber boots with a two-handed grasp on his massive hose. It’s not a competition, of course. But I have to say I’m awful partial to the boys that Seattle puts up each year as they raise money for burn prevention and research. And whatever they feed them in Seattle, their firefighters seem to have sliced to shreds abs, year in and year out.
I tend to harbor a grudge against most things New York, because New Yorkers seem to consider themselves the center of gravitational pull for the entire universe (admit it, New Yorkers… you do…). They do hire some sweet, hardbodied hotties to whip out their hoses, though. And the proceeds benefit the Staten Island Burn Center. Win-win.

I haven’t actually seen a South Florida Firefighters Calendar, but these tall, dark and handsome hardbodies make me think I’m due for a trip to Miami Beach. I’m not as compelled by the generic charities they seem to raise money for, but if they oiled this pair up and let me watch them wrestle, I’d sign over most of everything I own for… whatever it is they want my money for.

Some more honorable mentions… Colorado has been putting up beautiful, shaved, massive, bare pecs for a while now. They’re working for your dollars and cents to support Children’s Hospital Burn Center.
And finally, a couple of delightful contenders (though it’s still NOT a competition) who only get honorable mentions because they aren’t celebrating Labor Day where the come from. This tatooed, axe-weilding, babyface hero is from a Toronto firefighter calendar, where they show their big and beautiful bare chests for cancer research. Burn research seems more an intuitive connection with firefighters to me, but there’s nothing wrong with cancer research, by any means.

Finally, this slice of beef is indicative of the quality meat exploited in the UK to get you to donate for services for fire and burn victims in the UK. So, in my recovered memory from being a small child trapped in my closet, this is what it looked like when the firefighter came in and rescued me.
Exactly like this.

Happy Labor Day.

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