You don’t need to know the details, but suffice it to say that I am, at this very moment, stuck in my own little version of hell. I’m far from home, stuck in a motel room, with nothing but basic cable and an internet connection to keep me relatively sane.
Suddenly, I’m a HUGE fan of HGTV. Of my limited entertainment choices at this moment, I’ve settled on some mindless home improvement television. I know that I have HGTV at home, but I’m not sure where it is on the dial. A glimpse of Lynn Kegan on Designed to Sell convinces me I need to reprogram my Tevo.
Damn, this red-headed carpenter is stunning! And he’s built like a fratboy porn star. In fact, I swear he could wrestle as Andrew Lane’s brother, and I’d buy that in a second… particularly if it involved some forced stripping and muscle worship. My, oh my… Andrew…
So another hour of HGTV goes by, and I discover Chip Wade on Curb Appeal. This bald headed muscle stud carpenter is way, way, way up my alley!
Damn, look at those arms! Chip needs to make a tag team appearance with Lon Dumont as shaved-headed, no-mercy, muscle partners. I can just see him wrap those guns around some chumps skull and crush him to tears in a side headlock.
While we’re at it, let’s toss these two tag teams in the ring together! Lynn and Andrew facing down Chip and Lon… someone’s going to get beat like a red-headed stepchild, that’s for certain!