My homoerotic wrestler of the month
, is unquestionably Naked Kombat’s Mr. Franchise. DJ represents precisely what NK brings to the homoerotic wrestling universe. He’s as tenacious as a terrier and as physically fit as my yoga instructor (which, I know, means nothing to you, but he actually looks a whole lot like my yoga instructor who is incredibly lean and gorgeous, which explains my workout regimen lately). DJ knows NK points forward and backward. His mat skills are a work of art. And his cool, calculated humiliation and domination in round 4 gets nastier and more entertaining all the time.
DJ is back yet again headlining this week’s NK offering
against rookie thug, Nikko Alexander
. Nikko has one victory under his belt, but you’d think from the way he struts and sneers that he’s a dyed in the wool veteran heel. So he beat up on Jake Austin
. Please. Who hasn’t?
Nikko trash-talks like a back alley heavy to start the match. As reward for his derision, DJ puts him on his back within the first 5 seconds of the match. DJ is wearing his hair very short (perhaps tired of the subtly racist jabs at his “troll doll” appearance from most of his opponents). I swear he continues to put on thicker muscle, ounce by ounce, all the time (though I think this match may have been released out of order… still…). I don’t suppose he’s ever going to be competition bodybuilder, but he’s built for exactly the purpose in front of him: kicking Nikko’s sweet round ass.
I’ve grown to enjoy DJ’s work so much that I must say, there’s something about him wrestling in his speedo and jock strap in the first two rounds that just seems odd. He’s perfectly, quintessentially DJ once there’s nothing between him and his opponent but that astonishingly long, beautiful, uncut cock of his.
It’s not as if DJ is a classic face, by any means. He’s got more of a stoner, skateboard punk vibe about him, in my estimation. But this match-up has me cheering out loud for each and every humiliating hold he slaps on Nikko, as if I’m watching a classic knight-in-shining-armor humble a big, bad heel from 80’s pro. Nikko is such a thug-in-training.
Nikko is not above some “inadvertent” rakes to the eyes and painful yanks on DJ’s nose. Hell, those are about the classiest things he brings to the NK mat. DJ is working is athletic ass off, executing an NK-style assault like few others can, and Nikko is just trying to figure out how to be a homoerotic wrestling bully.
So perhaps it’s not 80’s pro wrestling that this match evokes for me as much as a classic AMG
softcore wrestling skit. The good guy (as far as I’m concerned) wins, conquering the snarling shenanigans of the thug. Of course DJ’s force feeding of his cock deep down Nikko’s throat, whipping Nikko’s face with it, and fucking him dizzy aren’t so much the literal translation of an AMG flick, but the spanking in the middle of that scenario is, in fact, classic AMG. DJ swats Nick’s thug ass with a satisfied grin, each blow sending Nikko’s body into spasms of shocked pain (overacted to precisely the same degree as an AMC scenario, I swear). Nikko’s florescent red ass come count 10, though, isn’t an act, nor is the distracted, lip-licking pleasure DJ takes in stroking and scratching his opponent’s stinging cheeks.
I think I sold DJ way short when I picked him
for the current homoerotic wrestler of the month. Looking back, I think I may have made it sound like he’s the least mediocre boy in the running among last month’s new releases. I didn’t intend that, at all, and DJ’s bout with Nikko yesterday proves what should be abundantly clear. He’s a hardworking, beautiful, skilled homoerotic wrestling pornboy who gets nothing handed to him for free. He earns every inch of what he gets.