A Taste of Things to Cum

Reading back over my recent posts (like a year or more), I think it’s safe to say I’ve been orally fixated lately.  My descriptions of wrestlers and matches as “delicious,” “tasty,” or “mouthwatering” have been my regular, go-to metaphors for my subjective experience of being turned on by choice homoerotic wrestling fare (see, there I go again).  Homoerotic wrestling just tastes so damn good!  Of course I don’t literally want to eat anyone (other than perhaps a couple of politicians I can think of… on toast), but I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity for a long, wet, lingering lick of a wrestling hunk’s body to stimulate the taste buds.  Do you know what I mean?
BG East’s Blueboy clearly knows what I’m talking about in Masked Mayhem 4, momentarily turning always dangerous masked muscle heel Enforcer into a quivering bowl of jelly in the corner of the ring with a tongue lashing of his tantalizing nipples.  Holy shit, this photo captures so much about homoerotic wrestling that defines me!

I think there’s a bit of a stroke of genius at work at NakedKombat for incentivizing face licking.  Not a lot of the kombatants I’ve seen take advantage of available points for slathering spit across the cheeks of a locked up opponent, but Gavin Waters was one hardbodied fuck machine who seemed to relish just that.  In his May 25, 2011 tag team match with partner Nikko Alexander, Gavin to advantage of his overwhelming muscle and weight advantage to lock down lean twink scrapper Matt Singer and drive him fucking nuts by dragging his tongue all over the babyface battler’s face.  Talk about a tasty little morsel!

Matt’s partner, however, was a little too much for Gavin to pull off the same maneuver… by himself, at least.  Long-time pornboy wrestling favorite of mine, Trent Diesel had Gavin’s number both in singles and tag-team competition, and the stunningly hot tattoed stunner was not as easily subdued.  However, another NakedKombat rule permits partners a few seconds of double-team advantage moments after a tag is made, during which Gavin would enjoy the chance to lick the sweat off of Trent’s brow while Nikko picked up the baton to take his place mounted on top of the muscled stud puppy.  Fuck, Trent hated his face licked!  He squirmed like craaaazy as Gavin lapped up his salty goodness.  Hell.  And yes.

Can-Am’s Pro Sex Fight series has been seriously satisfying me since it debuted a couple of years ago.  The precise balance of pro ring wrestling and overt eroticism is awfully compelling.  Tongues have been regularly on the menu starting with Pro Sex Fight 1, when massive muscle star Michael Vineland slaps down a post-victory tongue lashing on the infinitely perky, hot pecs of g-g-g-gorgeous former HWOTM here at neverland, Landon Mycles.  Landon was more a kisser than a licker, which I totally respect, but fuck-fuck-fuck, Michael working over that highly responsive nip on the blond bombshell was sweet dessert after an intensely hot main course of highly erotic ring wrestling.

When another long-time favorite wrestling pornboy of mine, Rusty Stevens, got his shot at Michael in Pro Sex Fight 5, the competitive side of things was decidedly more pronounced.  However, post-match, Rusty delivered the move that I’ve been fantasizing about for years, absolutely worshipping Michael’s massive biceps with his tongue.  Rusty isn’t exactly what I’d call someone graceful in defeat… or victory… but a lustful moment of fully engaged muscle worship from the normally smart-assed, hardbodied hot head grabs me hard.

Rusty also slapped done a tongue lashing in Pro Sex Fight 4 against angelically beautiful muscle stud, Kevin Crowes.  If he hadn’t, I’d have written a letter in protest, because if there’s any word to describe Kevin, it’s “delicious.”  Rusty totally dominates the early moments of this match, stripping the rookie pornboy naked (in this case, not a moment too soon), terrorizing and torturing the bodybeautiful stunner in the ropes, on the mat, and when thrown into the corner, licks that chiseled chin slowly.

You can tell Kevin tastes delicious, because Rusty’s tongue travels slowly down the angelic pornboy’s neck and laps aggressively across the stunner’s sweaty chest, lingering long and hard on those aesthetically perfect nips.  As an aside, this also tweaks a little bit of kink I have for seeing a wrestler stripped and dominated while his opponent has managed to still hang onto his gear.  There’s just something about that inequity, that extra dose of humiliation and dominating ownership, that makes my engine rev harder.

Kevin is no shrinking violet here, though, and when the patient pornboy finally gets an opening, he makes Rusty pay back all that trash talking muscle domination with interest.  Swarming all over the stunned veteran, Kevin uses that work of art he calls a body to press Rusty to the canvas and hold him still for a taste of glory of his own.  I can feast for days on watching Rusty Stevens dominate in that soul-withering style he has of destroying an opponent psychologically as a prelude to crushing him physically.  However, watching heaven-sent pornboy Kevin work up a serious head of steam all over my long-time favorite emeritus is incredible entertainment for my dollar.

There is also another entire subgenre of muscle licking.  The forced worship submission (“Lick my bicep, bitch!”) has it’s own story, and I can read that story over and over again and never get tired of it.  Kid Vicious, looking even buffer and more beautiful than ever in Wet and Wild 4 (can I call KV beautiful and not get my ass kicked?), forces a battered Lobolito to pay homage to his gorgeous, bulging, veiny bicep.  Unlike in the stolen tastes of muscle I mentioned above, Lobolito looks like he’s been so bashed he doesn’t quite appreciate this plot twist nearly as much as I do.  Forced to lick, tongue-work in wrestling can communicate with crystal clarity that total domination by the object of oral adoration over the licker.  Forced to be licked, as described above, turns the tables and speaks perhaps even more directly to the orally fixated side of me.

I’m sure Freud would have plenty to say about all of this oral fascination.  Then again, Freud was a dumbshit when it came to sexuality and eroticism.  As another example of an element that clearly distinguishes the homoerotic from the straight-up wrestling worlds, a whole-hearted tongue lashing makes my mouth water.

Down for the Count

I received this email last night:

Kink is sad to announce that we have stopped production of Naked Kombat for the time being. There will be no new updates to the site for the foreseeable future. This was a difficult decision and we would like to extend a warm “Thank You” to all of our members and fans.

Truth be told, I haven’t been enjoying Naked Kombat as much as I used to. I know I’m not alone among the wrestling kink crowd in my waning interest in the pornboy-does-erotic-combat format.  For me, it may have been the relentless structure of NK that quickly became formulaic (which is a major criticism I have of porn in general). After a while it felt like each release was the same product, just with different bodies cycling through. It could have been the wrestlers. The pornboy stars lately have not been giving me the instant arousal that NK boys in the past have. My waning attention for NK could certainly have had to do with the kombat itself. Occasionally there were seriously enthusiastic and skilled grapplers hitting the NK mat, but too often the kombatants came across more as pornboys tussling as foreplay for the way they really make their money: the sex round.

Rookie Gavin Waters thinks he’s got my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy’s number.
Calm, cool, collected Trent Diesel knows better.

The factors explaining my waning interest probably have absolutely nothing to do with Kink’s decision to terminate production of NK.  But I’m still feeling a little grief over the loss of the company that has brought me several of my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboys. Trent Diesel, my reigning homoerotic wrestling pornboy, may be in serious danger of losing his grip on the title unless another company picks up his most entertaining talents (please!).

Ripped Trent Diesel teaches cocky Gavin Waters the price of losing at Naked Kombat.

One of the aspects of NK that I’ve definitely enjoyed is their particular blend of wrestling and homoeroticism. The grapplers were always explicitly rewarded for bringing the sexy into the confrontation. They received points for cock abuse, force-feeding, ass slapping, etc. And then in the sex round, the victor’s task was to take possession of the loser and heap humiliation in any way possible (though imaginations were often wanting in round 4, in my opinion). Spanking, the pony ride, the rat tail… a relatively narrow repertoire of humiliation was sprinkled in amid the otherwise straightforward sucking and fucking.

Rusty is master at exploiting all 4 rounds to their maximum wrestling kink potential.

Arguably, no one exploited the format more entertainingly than Rusty Stevens, which also contributed to his very long tenure as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy. His leg choke while controlling Tommy Defendi’s every self-stimulating move like a sadistic puppeteer, was probably the most arousing and innovative sex round device I ever saw in NK.

Tommy Defendi is defenseless against the crushing tide of Rusty’s offense.

I believe Rusty was undefeated in NK competition, which is the way it should be, in my opinion. Left to his own devices, Rusty was a force of nature, beating away his opponent’s defenses like the rising tide itself, until one by one they fell and Rusty climbed on top. Elsewhere, Rusty has been more scripted, less spontaneous, which has simply not exploited the raw, animal, aggressive sexuality of this gorgeous pornboy.

Nikko Alexander mistakenly thinks he’s got it all wrapped up against lean DJ and his monster cock.

NK also gave me considerable pleasure in watching the character (and physical) development of NK scrapper, DJ. Setting aside the relatively racist undertones of his opponent’s trash talking, referencing his tightly kinky hair, most of the time DJ worked his own magic and won retribution for any pre-match slights by conquering one hard, bigger man after another through sheer force of will and ever increasing proficiency on the mat.

DJ is single-handely unstoppable against Cameron Adams & Leo Forte (combined!)!

That truly stunning monster cock of DJ’s didn’t hurt any either (except when ever inch of it was slammed up a loser’s ass). DJ grew on me over time. With every new match he got stronger, faster, and more technically skilled. His victory rounds got hotter and hotter, and there’s just about nothing as awe-inspiring as his performance teaming up with partner Trent against Cameron Adams and Leo Forte.

DJ and Trent Diesel illustrate teamwork at it’s very, very best!

The twosome of Trent and DJ are a striking pair to gaze at, but even their opponents agree in the end that DJ is a fucking unstoppable beast in this match. He’s the smallest man on the mat, and frequently he successfully dominates both opponents single-handedly during the grace periods when Leo or Cameron tagged in and had an opportunity to double team him. Double team my ass! DJ is like a cornered badger, more vicious, tenacious, and dangerous against two opponents than he is against just one.

Epic clash between muscle hunk John Magnum and lithe scrapper, Phillip Aubrey

As the life of NK flashes before my eyes, it occurs to me that there have been plenty of moments of homoerotic wrestling epiphany. John Magnum and Phillip Aubrey’s nail biter comes to mind. Magnum’s only appearance on NK was epic. He’s made for full-on gay pro wrestling if ever a pornboy was. He’s magnum sized, and even sexier, he’s absolutely giddy with delight in every moment that he manages to subdue and humiliate Phillip. He laughs proudly at his own mastery. He flings himself across the mat and into every hold. He trash talks from start to finish.

Phillip Aubrey restrains momentarily restrains the beast.

And even then, Phillip Aubrey was equally satisfying, perhaps more so because I expected myself to be so enthralled with the big muscle boy Magnum. Phillip is astonishingly sexy on the mat. He bends like Gumby, and he seems to have a tolerance for pain that’s simply off the charts. He seriously, seriously dominated his much bigger and stronger opponent a whole lot, and indeed, I personally think he clearly ought to have been the decisive winner. Even that drama, the disputed call of the judges, makes the Magnum/Aubrey match fucking hot, hot, hot!

Spencer Reed obliterates John Stone in March 2009

There’ve been other NK matches and pornboy wrestlers of note, of course. Big, dominating Spencer Reed, sincere as hell Patrick Rouge, muscle ass babyface Dean Tucker, the terminator Tyler Saint…. the list is extensive. However, most of the names that I come up with as epitomizing my affection for NK come from deep, deep in the archives. Speaking of, I don’t know what happens to the NK archives. I’m not going to keep paying for a subscription to a site with nothing new, and I figure they’ll have to roll the archives into some other aspect of the kink.com universe, which other than NK simply hasn’t appealed to what it is that turns me on: wrestling.

Gavin Waters’ first introduction to Naked Kombat and Trent Diesel’s picture perfect cock.

Despite my ambivalence about the recent run of NK, I’m still sad to see them go down. For the years of homoerotic pornboy wrestling entertainment, the blood, sweat and tears (especially the sweat), and the many innovations in wrestling kink, I thank you, Naked Kombat. To the producers, technical staff, and especially the beautiful pornboys putting their bodies on the mat and their asses on the line week after week, you will be missed.

Trent Diesel oils up with Ryan Rockford

Now, I know of some stunning pornboys all oiled up with no place to wrestle. Surely, someone can help these boys out.

The 98-pound Weakling and the Bully

Hot damn! Trent Diesel only narrowly was denied a shot at a 3-peat for the title of my homoerotic wrestler of the month, but I simply have to say more about his most recent tag-team match over at Naked Kombat. The chemistry between all four wrestlers (Trent and his partner, Matthew Singer, going against Gavin Waters and Nikko Alexander), is off the charts. They’re absolutely ferocious and balls out on the clock, and when there’s a time out, there are these incredibly erotic moments of tenderness and respect shown among all four pornboys.

The story to start the match is explicitly told by Gavin and Nikko in their pre-match interview. Gavin promises that the outcome this time around will be distinctly different than in Trent’s humiliating initiation of Gavin in his debut match a couple of weeks ago. In no uncertain terms, Nikko and Gavin point out that Mattie is the “weakest link,” and they’re going to exploit that link all the way to their victory fucks in round 4. They’re absolutely right and absolutely wrong, as it turns out.
They’re absolutely right that Mattie is the weakest link. It’s no wonder, really. He’s been seriously outclassed in his prior matches, and once again he has very little stamina and wind (lay off the smokes, skinny boy, your lung capacity will thank you). There are moments when Gavin (6’2″, 200 pounds) is bullying Mattie (6’0″, 170 pounds) so miserably I feel a little bad for the babyface. When Mattie has panicked his way into a time out in round one, and he takes the down position for the restart, Gavin is beaming with joy as he strips out of his own trunks in order to press his naked cock provocatively against the Mattie’s ass. Nikko and Gavin seem determined to intimidate him, and they seem to succeed.
Nikko and Gavin also play fast and loose with the NK rules, which costs them dearly, as it turns out. In one of those bully-sessions, Gavin snaps on a nasty, illegal rear choke that has poor Mattie writhing in panic. When confronted with the rule infraction, Gavin offers, “But I’m blond!,” either as an excuse for being too dumb to know the rules, or as a trump card that probably gets his gorgeous ass plenty of free passes for being so damn pretty, I don’t know. Round 1 also has the bad boys in red tagging 4 times, when the rules permit only 3 per round. Both infractions earn the brutes penalties.
At least one moral of this story, I’d say, is that karma is a bitch. Turns out Trent and Matt squeak out a stunning upset victory. The real kicker, though, is that their margin of victory is smaller than the total penalty points Gavin and Nikko lost needlessly earlier in the match. Mattie’s reward in round 4 seems super sweet to me. The poor, outclassed “weakest link” struggled mightily to keep his head in this match during the first 3 rounds. You could virtually watch him swallow down the panic and primal fear he faced, as he plunged over and over again, headlong into the path of two big, bad muscle brutes. The skinny boy took a knee to the face in round one. He was maligned and overlooked before the match even started. So as he rides Nikko around the ring like a pony and then shoves that really, really, really huge cock of his up Gavin’s ass, there’s just something really sweet about the whole thing. It’s like the first Karate Kid movie, except this time, the skinny, outclassed wimp gets to humiliate and literally fuck his tormentors in front of a cheering crowd.
And of course, the crowd works for me. The crowd ratchets up the homoeroticism here about 150%. The prominently featured women in the front row of the crowd, unfortunately, then dock the homoeroticism about 25% for me (and for several other commentators, I note, on the NK website). But still, that’s 112.5% the homoeroticism that this extremely hot tag-team match-up already had going for it (trust me on the math… really). Trent is a wrestling god who fills me with awe every time I watch him on the mats. It should come as no surprise that he maintains a death grip on the title as my favorite homoerotic wrestling pornboy. Mattie is a surprisingly compelling character who makes that former 98-pound weakling inside of me infinitely proud. And Gavin and Nikko are astonishingly pleasing as overconfident heels who push their luck and indulge their sadism just a fraction too much for their own good. Awesome story. Incredibly hot action. Even round 4 kept my attention, which isn’t always the case, and the “bonus” scene was a sweet “porn-meets-pro-wrestling” departure from the typical script of the “hardcore reality” vibe that NK likes to try to sell.
I highly recommend this match.

Earning It

My homoerotic wrestler of the month, DJ, is unquestionably Naked Kombat’s Mr. Franchise. DJ represents precisely what NK brings to the homoerotic wrestling universe. He’s as tenacious as a terrier and as physically fit as my yoga instructor (which, I know, means nothing to you, but he actually looks a whole lot like my yoga instructor who is incredibly lean and gorgeous, which explains my workout regimen lately). DJ knows NK points forward and backward. His mat skills are a work of art. And his cool, calculated humiliation and domination in round 4 gets nastier and more entertaining all the time.
DJ is back yet again headlining this week’s NK offering against rookie thug, Nikko Alexander.  Nikko has one victory under his belt, but you’d think from the way he struts and sneers that he’s a dyed in the wool veteran heel. So he beat up on Jake Austin. Please. Who hasn’t?

Nikko trash-talks like a back alley heavy to start the match. As reward for his derision, DJ puts him on his back within the first 5 seconds of the match. DJ is wearing his hair very short (perhaps tired of the subtly racist jabs at his “troll doll” appearance from most of his opponents). I swear he continues to put on thicker muscle, ounce by ounce, all the time (though I think this match may have been released out of order… still…). I don’t suppose he’s ever going to be competition bodybuilder, but he’s built for exactly the purpose in front of him: kicking Nikko’s sweet round ass.

I’ve grown to enjoy DJ’s work so much that I must say, there’s something about him wrestling in his speedo and jock strap in the first two rounds that just seems odd. He’s perfectly, quintessentially DJ once there’s nothing between him and his opponent but that astonishingly long, beautiful, uncut cock of his.

It’s not as if DJ is a classic face, by any means. He’s got more of a stoner, skateboard punk vibe about him, in my estimation. But this match-up has me cheering out loud for each and every humiliating hold he slaps on Nikko, as if I’m watching a classic knight-in-shining-armor humble a big, bad heel from 80’s pro. Nikko is such a thug-in-training.

Nikko is not above some “inadvertent” rakes to the eyes and painful yanks on DJ’s nose. Hell, those are about the classiest things he brings to the NK mat. DJ is working is athletic ass off, executing an NK-style assault like few others can, and Nikko is just trying to figure out how to be a homoerotic wrestling bully.

So perhaps it’s not 80’s pro wrestling that this match evokes for me as much as a classic AMG softcore wrestling skit. The good guy (as far as I’m concerned) wins, conquering the snarling shenanigans of the thug. Of course DJ’s force feeding of his cock deep down Nikko’s throat, whipping Nikko’s face with it, and fucking him dizzy aren’t so much the literal translation of an AMG flick, but the spanking in the middle of that scenario is, in fact, classic AMG. DJ swats Nick’s thug ass with a satisfied grin, each blow sending Nikko’s body into spasms of shocked pain (overacted to precisely the same degree as an AMC scenario, I swear). Nikko’s florescent red ass come count 10, though, isn’t an act, nor is the distracted, lip-licking pleasure DJ takes in stroking and scratching his opponent’s stinging cheeks.
I think I sold DJ way short when I picked him for the current homoerotic wrestler of the month. Looking back, I think I may have made it sound like he’s the least mediocre boy in the running among last month’s new releases. I didn’t intend that, at all, and DJ’s bout with Nikko yesterday proves what should be abundantly clear. He’s a hardworking, beautiful, skilled homoerotic wrestling pornboy who gets nothing handed to him for free. He earns every inch of what he gets.