1 Rocking Hunk

I strongly suspect that a certain co-author of mine may be clicking his heels with joy that Noah Mills is co-starring in a new CBS series called 2 Broke Girls. It was Metellus who “recruited” Noah to play a starring role in our joint project in the Producer’s Ring, a fictional homoerotic wrestling universe. In our joint imagination (Metellus’ and mine), Noah is an elite executive in the high stakes post-modern universe where the entertainment industrial complex runs the world. In the short story “Global Cooperation,” Noah gets into a bar fight with shirtless, tattooed hunk Mateus Verdelho. When Noah takes some arguably unnecessary liberties in humiliating Mateus, fitness muscle god Tyler McPeak leaps into the action to teach Noah a little humility and lend a hand to a drunken Mateus. Just as the bar boys start to bring Noah to heel, a ferocious David Gandy steps in to even the playing field and come to Noah’s aid. 

In our homoerotic wrestling imaginations, David’s rise to Noah’s defense is clearly motivated in large part due to some lustful admiration that he has for the double-teamed hunk. And checking out the caps of Noah’s shirtlessness from his new TV show, it’s no wonder! Metellus has got an eye for talent, as far as I’m concerned. Noah’s physique is incredible! He’s definitely harder and more heavily muscled than any twink, but Noah is no musclehead, either. His physical balance and beauty is perfectly complimented by a stunningly handsome face that, once again, defies simple pigeonholing. Gorgeous and masculine with a boyishly charming grin, Noah’s mug stands out in a crowd of chisel-chinned, blue-steel boys (such as David Gandy, I’d say).

The caps from Noah’s sitcom debut show him barely squeezed into remarkably low-rise pants, his similarly super-low rise underwear peaking out. The rippled six-pack and armored obliques pointing like an arrow toward his belt buckle are riveting. The super-duper low-rise wardrobing most certainly required some meticulous bodyscaping to be safe for American prime-time. Good God, this is certainly major temptation to inspire me to return to prime-time CBS viewership after a long, long hiatus. Very, very tempting (but I’m not sure quite tempting enough, however).

At the end of “Global Cooperation,” David scrapes Noah, stripped naked, off the pavement and carries him lovingly from the scene to nurse him back to a full recovery. Metellus and I have already batted around some story ideas for a part 2 to Global Cooperation, but the wrestling partner/lovers concept (of which I am many times over on the record as hugely turned on by) seems like it will inevitably play a part. As hot as the  near-porn shots of Noah are from his real-life television appearance, I’d bet money that 2 Broke Girls isn’t nearly as sexy as what we’ve got in store for Noah in the Producer’s Ring.

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