Year in Review – 3rd Favorite Moment of 2011

Every so often, I take heat for the opinions I express here at neverland. Most of you fine readers, even when you disagree with me, demonstrate class and grace in pointing out where you believe I’ve missed the mark in identifying the hottest trending homoerotic wrestling. Every so often, however, I’ve been accused of a variety of insidious, irrational vendettas against one wrestler or another, or one match or another, because I didn’t show it the proper respect in the pages of this blog. On just a few, rare occasions, the criticisms have veered toward personal attacks, questioning my integrity, sanity, or intelligence. In late spring of this year, I polled a few of my fellow homoerotic wrestling bloggers to discover that I’m not alone in this experience. So in response, I began collecting testimonials from bloggers and regular commenters, exploring what should be the most intriguing and delightful part of wrestling kink sensibilities: our diverse tastes.

JoFX is right up Joe’s alley

Posting the “Diverse Tastes” series this summer was most definitely one of the top highlights of my year. As I suspected would happen, posing the simple, straightforward question “what turns you on?” sparked a beautiful variety of responses from the assembled voices. Joe at Ringside at Skull Island kicked the series off with interests ranging from Mighty Mouse to Stoney Hooker to just about any tall, dark Italian with a pronounced adam’s apple, a slightly convex and strong belly, hairy chest, small ears and big nose.

Randy Orton makes SP feel randy.

Regular commenter and, since then, fellow homoerotic wrestling blogger Stay Puft followed up with an erotic taste range that still makes me gasp. Where Joe drilled right down to the prototypical object of his lusts (acknowledging that he’s fickle and refuses to be pinned down… unless you earn it), SP’s tastes stretch from TNA Wrestling’s Daffney to Jamie Scott of Grafitti6 to Kate Beckinsale to Big Rob Terry. What readers of SP’s blog, Inner Jobber, will quickly point out is that while variety is clearly the spice of SP’s life, he’s got a special place for a certain Randy wrestler fantasy man.

Pablo Martin has a big hunk of wood between his thighs!

Bruno of Beefcakes of Wrestling offered a contribution to the series that introduced me to instant infatuations in the form of Spanish language soap hunks William Levy and Pablo Martin. This is what I love about lots of eyes on the prize in homoerotic wrestling! Without the discussion, the mutual respect and the genuine interest, I might never have “come across” smoldering William and Pablo. On my to-do list for 2012 is to introduce these two hunks to the brutal world of the Producer’s Ring!

Dante Rosetti demonstrates exactly what AH likes to see.

And yet again, regular reader and commenter AH contributed to the series from an entirely different angle. For AH, the question focused him on the particular hold that makes homoerotic wrestling the tastiest for him: the slow, withering sleeper. The drama of the sleeper touches the core of AH, as the crowd watches a muscled warrior get the consciousness squeezed out of him like juicing a lemon… the ref raises a hand that drops limply to the mat… the victim’s eyes flutter as he’s held upright entirely at the mercy of the man with the bicep pressed against his carotid.

Fashion models David Gandy and Noah Mills star
in Metellus’ and my homoerotic wrestling imaginations.

Co-author and commenter Metellus added to the series with some specific recommendations of wrestlers that he likes, with a common theme of nice bodies, nice faces, wearing trunks and jobbing. Metellus also raised the topic of media, noting the particular allure of homoerotic wrestling fiction in his repertoire of wrestling kink delivery for its capacity to incite his imagination to go where live action has yet to take him.

Cage Thunder relishes “the turning point.”

Wrestling stud, Cage Thunder who journals online about homoerotic wrestling, succeeded in yet again stroking my wrestling fantasies with his contribution to the series in which he focuses much less on the body or the hold, but the attitude and the moment in a match that send him over the edge. Cage Thunder keys in on the moment when the tide has once and for all turned, that point in the match when one wrestler has built up just too much momentum to be denied, when there’s more wrestling to happen, but it’s icing on the domination cake from that point forward.

Choices, choices, choices…

The final installment of the Diverse Tastes Guest Series came from the wicked sharp insight and creative mind of blogger Manof1000Holds, the author of Wrestling Arsenal. Having been at this homoerotic wrestling blogging longer than most (all?), Manof1000Holds knew exactly what I was talking about from around 5 seconds into my explanation of the concept of the Diverse Tastes series. And like a cruise missile, he zoomed in on the heart of the matter. Each of us, everyone one of us, has our triggers, our short hairs, the little moments and scenarios that set our hearts pumping the hardest. So he created a Cosmo-style quiz for readers to take to assess their own profile. Now, some could take the idea of the quiz too seriously and get bent out of shape about being pegged as one thing or another. But that’s the piece of this puzzle that I think all of my guest contributors get (and just a couple of readers haven’t quite cottoned onto yet): essential to fully appreciating our wrestling kink diversity is a healthy sense of humor. It’s all fun, or at least it all should be fun, as far as I’m concerned. It’s all about seeing reflected back from the wrestling drama in front of us something about our own fantasies, our own vulnerabilities, our own idiosyncratic longings that we have to hold gently, with some humility and a lot of kindness for our ourselves and others.

Regular star of my favorite wrestling fantasies: Lon Dumont

What all of my guest contributors this summer proved was that the homoerotic wrestling universe is beautifully varied and populated by fans and wrestlers that run the full gamut of bodies, holds, venues, gear, and scenarios that our powerful homoerotic wrestling imaginations can devise. I’m humbled by the wisdom and generosity of my fellow writers, and their contributions as a whole most definitely rank among my most favorite moments of this year!

1 Rocking Hunk

I strongly suspect that a certain co-author of mine may be clicking his heels with joy that Noah Mills is co-starring in a new CBS series called 2 Broke Girls. It was Metellus who “recruited” Noah to play a starring role in our joint project in the Producer’s Ring, a fictional homoerotic wrestling universe. In our joint imagination (Metellus’ and mine), Noah is an elite executive in the high stakes post-modern universe where the entertainment industrial complex runs the world. In the short story “Global Cooperation,” Noah gets into a bar fight with shirtless, tattooed hunk Mateus Verdelho. When Noah takes some arguably unnecessary liberties in humiliating Mateus, fitness muscle god Tyler McPeak leaps into the action to teach Noah a little humility and lend a hand to a drunken Mateus. Just as the bar boys start to bring Noah to heel, a ferocious David Gandy steps in to even the playing field and come to Noah’s aid. 

In our homoerotic wrestling imaginations, David’s rise to Noah’s defense is clearly motivated in large part due to some lustful admiration that he has for the double-teamed hunk. And checking out the caps of Noah’s shirtlessness from his new TV show, it’s no wonder! Metellus has got an eye for talent, as far as I’m concerned. Noah’s physique is incredible! He’s definitely harder and more heavily muscled than any twink, but Noah is no musclehead, either. His physical balance and beauty is perfectly complimented by a stunningly handsome face that, once again, defies simple pigeonholing. Gorgeous and masculine with a boyishly charming grin, Noah’s mug stands out in a crowd of chisel-chinned, blue-steel boys (such as David Gandy, I’d say).

The caps from Noah’s sitcom debut show him barely squeezed into remarkably low-rise pants, his similarly super-low rise underwear peaking out. The rippled six-pack and armored obliques pointing like an arrow toward his belt buckle are riveting. The super-duper low-rise wardrobing most certainly required some meticulous bodyscaping to be safe for American prime-time. Good God, this is certainly major temptation to inspire me to return to prime-time CBS viewership after a long, long hiatus. Very, very tempting (but I’m not sure quite tempting enough, however).

At the end of “Global Cooperation,” David scrapes Noah, stripped naked, off the pavement and carries him lovingly from the scene to nurse him back to a full recovery. Metellus and I have already batted around some story ideas for a part 2 to Global Cooperation, but the wrestling partner/lovers concept (of which I am many times over on the record as hugely turned on by) seems like it will inevitably play a part. As hot as the  near-porn shots of Noah are from his real-life television appearance, I’d bet money that 2 Broke Girls isn’t nearly as sexy as what we’ve got in store for Noah in the Producer’s Ring.

Diverse Tastes – Guest Contributor Metellus

All of the guest contributors for our running summer series “Diverse Tastes” fall into my category of delightful collaborators: clever, savvy, unconventional and creative fans of wrestling who know what they like and enjoy the adventure of hunting it down with their bare hands. Today’s guest contributor, Metellus, is a prime example of what I’m talking about. Metellus contacted me quite a while ago about his appreciation for my Secretarial Pool auditions in my fictional homoerotic wrestling universe, the Producer’s Ring. But Metellus is no back-seat driver. His own hot, kinked, wrestling imagination kicked into high gear. About every third sentence in an email from Metellus starts with the words, “What if….” And that yearning to explore the next idea for a wrestling fantasy, in my opinion, is the heart of the very best of homoerotic wrestling.  The most recent match in the Secretarial Pool (“Global Cooperation”) is a flat-out collaboration between Metellus and me, with Metellus scouting and recruiting all of the primary characters (models David Gandy, Noah Mills, Mateus Verdelho and Tyler McPeak). He and I also worked together on one of my fondest pieces of BG East fiction in the Sidelineland group, featuring randy wrestling rookie and fashion model Cobus Jonker pulling off a stunning debut against one of BG East’s resident masters of destruction, Enforcer. I love Metellus’ passion for collaboration, for putting his own ideas on the table and then being thrilled with the exercise of molding them, shaping them, tossing them out and starting all over again, in the very provocative enterprise of co-authoring a work of homoerotic wrestling fiction. Watch for more collaborations from us in the future, and in the mean time, enjoy Metellus’ take on the topic of Diverse Tastes, in which he explores some key examples of both who it is and what it is that they do to rise to the top of his wrestling kink favorites.

“Muscles at Work”
by Metellus
TNA’s Brutus Magnus – Handsome, lean muscles, versatile

I have always been a fan of wrestling. I like them from all angles, pro, indie or underground video companies like BG East. I am not quite sure what exactly is it that I like about wrestling, so I am hoping to take this opportunity to talk about some of my favorite wrestlers.

Fight Club Finland’s Valentine can give and take punishment

To me, the perfect wrestler has a nice body, not bad to look at and preferably wearing some short wrestling trunks. Like many other readers, I usually enjoy seeing these type of wrestlers in the roles of jobbers. Some of my favorites wrestlers in the pro and indie circuits include Brutus Magnus (TNA wrestling), Valentine (Fight Club Finland) and Hiroshi Yamato (All Japan Pro Wrestling). Their handsome face and lean muscles made them ideal baby faces. These wrestlers can both job for heels but can also be competitive if needed. On top of that, they can suffer really well, and it is a real pleasure to see their muscles at work in the ring. When it comes to wrestlers in companies like BG East and Can-Am wrestling, there may be too many to name. It may take me ages to narrow down my favorites.

Babyface Hiroshi Yamoto works his muscle for Japan Pro Wrestling

I am also a big fan of wrestling stories. They allow me to use my imagination as I try to picture up a slightly different scenario each time I’m reading the same story. I first started reading these type of stories in Bard’s Producer’s Ring, where he threw in a bunch of male models into a mat room while they tried to beat the crap out of each other. To me, male models are the perfect fictional wrestler. I am not a big fan of twinks so I usually prefer those handsome and muscular ones than the high fashion models. But there are always exceptions. Take Noah Mills and David Gandy for example. I wouldn’t call them twinks by any means but they are successful high end fashion models. After a day of modeling work it is not hard to picture them stripping down to their gears and fight one another in a long, hard wrestling battle.

Models David Gandy and Noah Mills –
Starring in the homoerotic wrestling imaginations of Metellus & Bard
—————
Thanks, Metellus! Your collection of favorites is a fantastic combination of familiar faces as well as entirely new discoveries (at least, new to me!). I’d write a little more about my admiration of Metellus’ impeccable tastes and creativity here, but he’s already sent me an email with an idea for a new piece of homoerotic wrestling fiction. “What if……..”

The Rain Clouds Open Up

Whew! The long drought in my wrestling fiction has broken. It wasn’t writer’s block or melancholy interrupting the creative flow. It was brutal, exhausting, largely unpaid “real” work stealing my best creative juices. Thankfully, the juices are spilling again into my preferred past-time of writing homoerotic wrestling fiction.

David Gandy

A co-author helped me sketch this match out months ago. In it, we meet some of the executive assistants from rival titans around the globe, including big British brute, David Gandy, who, it turns out, seems to me to be seriously lacking a sense of humor.

Noah Mills

It also introduces Toronto-based executive assistant Noah Mills. Noah is one of those guys who has a little too much testosterone for his own good. No imagined slight or social faux pas can go unchallenged with unbridled physical confrontation for Noah. Clearly, he’s in the right man’s homoerotic wrestling imagination.

Mateus Verdelho

The boys are out at a club when Noah spills some of his drink as a result of getting bumped by buzzed skater hunk, Mateus Verdelho. Push comes to shove, quite literally. Shirts are ripped off, and that inevitable crowd of enablers spills out into the back alley behind the two of them to watch the sport.
Turns out, not only is Noah hyped up on testosterone. He also fights dirty. While in some crowds this would earn him major points, the club crowd this night turns on Noah for his underhanded, below-the-belt tactics. Big, beautiful blond hunk Tyler McPeak can’t stand it any longer, and he rushes into the fray to even the score and teach Noah the consequences of taking shortcuts.

Tyler McPeak

The details are over at Producer’s Ring, but things turn cocks-out and brutal, with two pretty boys shelved in the dumpsters with the rotting club food, and two others licking each others wounds with enthusiasm. My thanks to Metellus for carrying the water farther than he really should have had to, and for being infinitely patient with my “I’m just about to get down to writing again!” excuses.