You would not believe the week I’ve had. I’ve slept in three different time zones, been snowed in twice, re-routed 3 times, and I’ve been working my ass off every step of the way. I feel a lot like Odysseus, tackling one epic obstacle after another thrown at me by the gods. And even as I type this, the same demonic snow storm that has trapped me once already has left me snowbound yet again, far from home.
I don’t know what I did to offend the gods, or what bad karma I accrued, or how unlucky I am to have defied probability on so many counts to come up on the short end of the stick. In any case, thank the gods that I at least have internet access now. The subzero wind chill and blinding snow outside are screaming my name, but I’m warm and sheltered for the time being. I’ve been away from the blog so long that I’m struggling to get my groove back. So I’m just going to ask for a little help from you all.
You know the story of Odysseus. Greek hero, thwarted by the ancient gods from his trek to return home to his family after fighting valiantly in the Trojan War. He battled a cyclops. He was briefly made an amnesiac by the Lotus Eaters. Half his men were turned to swine by the witch Circe. He resisted the temptations of the ensnaring voices and vaginas of the Sirens. At every turn, the gods thwarted his journey home, threatening to take his life, battering him with the strength of all the elements of earth, sea and sky.
So my question for you, readers, is which homoerotic wrestler best embodies the spirit of Odysseus? He’s got to be able to suffer overwhelming odds and profound injustice and keep battling back. He’s got to make women swoon, but prefer the company of his virile young men who follow him faithfully. He’s got to be athletic, strong, commanding and inspire both divine lust and ire. Which wrestler do you most readily picture in a loin cloth, tied to the mast of a ship, swelling with lust and driven nearly mad with desire? You can nominate your own by commenting below, but here are the nominees I’m placing before you for consideration…
With the buzz over Brad Rochelle’s return after a long absence from BG East wrestling, I think he could have the look and the persona to be Odysseus. And perhaps he has his own heroic Odyssey to explain is long absence from the scene.
Cameron Mathews has got to be one of the hardest working hunks in wrestling, which earns him a nomination for the role of Odysseus. Hot body, handsome face, astonishingly lush ass, and an all around good guy… the makings of an epic hero.
|Thunder’s Arena’s Boxxy|
Boxxy is my wild card in this deck. I know he’s made a big splash at Thunder’s, and a helpful reader recently pointed me to his bare-all solo work at Randy Blue. He could have the making of a sincere, heroic face who gets pummeled and pounded by injustice but remains true to his belief that by virtue and hard work, he deserves to win in the end.
Jake Jenkins stars in all sorts of fantasies of mine, and it’s no stretch at all to picture him in a loin cloth, battling the giant cyclops, taking a beating and relentlessly bouncing back for more. And I suspect that like me, there are plenty of men and women who’d lie, cheat and steal for his affections, just like Odysseus!
|Can-Am’s Paul Perris|
Too literal? Whatever. We know that the classic bodybuilder/kickboxer/homoerotic wrestling icon Paul Perris looks mouthwatering when tied up. This man driven wild by the Siren’s song, willingly tied to the mast of his ship by his men, would be awfully picture perfect.
Finally, homoerotic wrestler of the month Rex Braddock has the facial hair and the gorgeous, hairy body of a Greek hero. There’s a raw edge to Rex that I love. He’s somehow gorgeous and yet not pretty. He’s a beast of a man, but neither quite fits my typology of a gym bunny or a bodybuilder. He could be an everyman hero, no doubt. The object of lust, ire and a never-say-die willingness to stare down whatever the gods might throw at him.
Let me know what wrestler you think fits the bill of the classic Greek hero Odysseus by voting in the margin at the right. And wish me luck defying the gods in my own journey home.