Lingering

Speaking of coverboys, did you catch who’s the current Randy Blue coverboy and feature model these days? A very helpful reader (thanks, Jeff!) pointed out to me that it’s none other than last month’s homoerotic wrestler of the month, Rex Braddock (aka, Rex).

For RandyB, he’s stripping and stroking as Jaxton Wheeler. His bio is a curious ode to his skill at manscaping. I’m all for Rex/Jaxton’s personal grooming, but I don’t know if that’s where I really begin with being turned on by him. “There’s something about his impeccable manscaping that drives us wild,” RandyB gushes about Jaxton/Rex almost from the start. Eventually, the description mentions his massive chest, his nipples, his “meaty paw” gliding up and down his “beautifully erect cock” before squeezing the “round globes of his perfect bubble butt” and then playing with his hole.

Moments like this bring into sharper focus for me how my erotic tastes differ from mainstream gay porn. It’s not that I disagree with any particular point of the text about my recent homoerotic wrestler of the month. It’s just that the literary eye lingers in all the “wrong” places (read: not where my eye lingers, no condemnation implied). No mention of his tree trunk thighs which could squeeze the consciousness out of some lucky punks head in an eternal head scissors. No mention is his sculpted arms, built for milking a side headlock like juicing an orange. And sure, that’s one “beautifully erect cock,” but it’s just meat if it isn’t slapping an opponent’s face in a humiliating schoolboy pin or poised and lubed for a post-match victory celebration.

Rex’s gorgeous body is for dominating in the ring!

Actually, I’m not trying to run down RandyB. I subscribed there for a while, sucked in by the allure of Chris Rockway and Reese Rideout’s full-fuck pro wrestling fantasy send-up. I think of it as great quality porn that manages to sell some personality along with the standard gay porn fare (which I tend to assess as lacking in any personality). But I didn’t linger long, despite RandyB sending me pleas to sign back up again, ad nausea. What RandyB didn’t do for me, other than a good portion of Chris Rockway and Reese Rideout’s one-off, was tweak my particular kink for wrestling.

Marc Merino won’t soon forget Rex’s crushing thighs.

I’m no expert, but there’s just something about where the eye lingers, where my fantasy anticipates and fills in the gaps in what plays out in front of me when I’m watching erotic content, that diverges along different paths with gay mainstream porn. The drama, the gear, the ring, the aggressiveness, the suspense, the sweat, the domination and humiliation… erotic material that isn’t wrestling oriented still often turns me on, but it typically doesn’t satisfy me for long. Lots of my friends are infatuated with a close up of a big, hard cock pounding an ass, usually filmed from some dizzying perspective with the camera on the floor, straddled by the actors legs hovering overhead. That, in and of itself, is the height of eroticism for some. Or the contextless cum shot. Or the sound of a groan with one gorgeous guy deep throating another. Again, in and of themselves these elements are all just fine with me. But they aren’t “it” for me.

Rex shows muscle hunk Marc what all those muscles are for.

More power to Rex/Jaxton for making a living and hopefully getting paid handsomely for his stunningly handsome face (those eyes! how can a lustful description of this man not eventually mention those eyes!?) and hot as hell hunky body. Now, get him back in the ring, body slamming an opponent naked, and expertly applying a sleeper just long enough for the poor loser to pump out a submission shot of cum before getting knocked out cold. Then, and only then, do I want to start waxing poetic about his expert skills with a razor.

Exquisite manscaping, Rex!

My Odyssey

You would not believe the week I’ve had. I’ve slept in three different time zones, been snowed in twice, re-routed 3 times, and I’ve been working my ass off every step of the way. I feel a lot like Odysseus, tackling one epic obstacle after another thrown at me by the gods. And even as I type this, the same demonic snow storm that has trapped me once already has left me snowbound yet again, far from home.

I don’t know what I did to offend the gods, or what bad karma I accrued, or how unlucky I am to have defied probability on so many counts to come up on the short end of the stick. In any case, thank the gods that I at least have internet access now. The subzero wind chill and blinding snow outside are screaming my name, but I’m warm and sheltered for the time being. I’ve been away from the blog so long that I’m struggling to get my groove back. So I’m just going to ask for a little help from you all.

You know the story of Odysseus. Greek hero, thwarted by the ancient gods from his trek to return home to his family after fighting valiantly in the Trojan War. He battled a cyclops. He was briefly made an amnesiac by the Lotus Eaters. Half his men were turned to swine by the witch Circe.  He resisted the temptations of the ensnaring voices and vaginas of the Sirens. At every turn, the gods thwarted his journey home, threatening to take his life, battering him with the strength of all the elements of earth, sea and sky.

So my question for you, readers, is which homoerotic wrestler best embodies the spirit of Odysseus?  He’s got to be able to suffer overwhelming odds and profound injustice and keep battling back. He’s got to make women swoon, but prefer the company of his virile young men who follow him faithfully. He’s got to be athletic, strong, commanding and inspire both divine lust and ire. Which wrestler do you most readily picture in a loin cloth, tied to the mast of a ship, swelling with lust and driven nearly mad with desire? You can nominate your own by commenting below, but here are the nominees I’m placing before you for consideration…

Brad Rochelle

With the buzz over Brad Rochelle’s return after a long absence from BG East wrestling, I think he could have the look and the persona to be Odysseus. And perhaps he has his own heroic Odyssey to explain is long absence from the scene.

Cameron Mathews

Cameron Mathews has got to be one of the hardest working hunks in wrestling, which earns him a nomination for the role of Odysseus. Hot body, handsome face, astonishingly lush ass, and an all around good guy… the makings of an epic hero.

Thunder’s Arena’s Boxxy

 Boxxy is my wild card in this deck. I know he’s made a big splash at Thunder’s, and a helpful reader recently pointed me to his bare-all solo work at Randy Blue. He could have the making of a sincere, heroic face who gets pummeled and pounded by injustice but remains true to his belief that by virtue and hard work, he deserves to win in the end.

Jake Jenkins

Jake Jenkins stars in all sorts of fantasies of mine, and it’s no stretch at all to picture him in a loin cloth, battling the giant cyclops, taking a beating and relentlessly bouncing back for more. And I suspect that like me, there are plenty of men and women who’d lie, cheat and steal for his affections, just like Odysseus!

Can-Am’s Paul Perris

Too literal? Whatever. We know that the classic bodybuilder/kickboxer/homoerotic wrestling icon Paul Perris looks mouthwatering when tied up. This man driven wild by the Siren’s song, willingly tied to the mast of his ship by his men, would be awfully picture perfect.

Rex/Rex Braddock

Finally, homoerotic wrestler of the month Rex Braddock has the facial hair and the gorgeous, hairy body of a Greek hero. There’s a raw edge to Rex that I love. He’s somehow gorgeous and yet not pretty. He’s a beast of a man, but neither quite fits my typology of a gym bunny or a bodybuilder. He could be an everyman hero, no doubt. The object of lust, ire and a never-say-die willingness to stare down whatever the gods might throw at him.

Let me know what wrestler you think fits the bill of the classic Greek hero Odysseus by voting in the margin at the right. And wish me luck defying the gods in my own journey home.

Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month

Some poor but worthy homoerotic wrestler is getting short changed this month. It’s taken me a few days to recover from the New Year, leaving my designation of homoerotic wrestler of the month for the back burner until now. In order to give the worthiest wrestler every last minute on the throne this month, let me get right down to business. The very top tier of the wrestlers who brought me the most pleasure in December is populated by these extremely select hunks: that “fucking monkey” Jake Jenkins (as Kid Karisma referred to him), for his work against Joah Bindao in BG East’s Fantasymen 34, as well as Austin Cooper for his ring work against former homoerotic wrestler of the month, Z-Man; Rex Braddock for every mouthwatering inch of his Strip Stakes 2 BG East debut. Austin Raines for a match that completely took me by surprise, demonstrating astonishing innovation and an iron will to dominate blue eyed terrier, Andy Hammer in BG East’s The Great Outdoors. Rock Hard Wrestling’s Ethan Andrews gets my nod for making me eat my words and delivering truly beautiful, arousing rookie bashing all over shocked jock Jason Kane. Thunder’s Arena’s Big Sexy makes me weak in the knees for showing up with a black eye, a new haircut, and looking harder than ever in Christmas Chaos 2011. Finally, Jobe Zander walks the fine line between camp and erotic pro wrestling as he works rookie Derek Fox’s angry inches relentlessly in Can-Am’s De-Crotchery 2.  The same line up could totally tip a different direction for me at another time, but for satiating what I was aching for in December, there’s one standout muscle boy…

Rex’s work in Strip Stakes 2 is phenomenal. As always, it takes two to tango, but Rex is unquestionably the lead in this dance. He lays down the strip stakes. Marc starts off seemingly literally entranced by the sight of his own gorgeous muscles, requiring Rex shove his handsome face into Marc’s to break the spell. Rex loses a couple of items of gear along the way, but Rex’s riding time is completely dominant.

I’ve noted Rex’s awesome size and handsome face from his work with Thunder’s, but his appearance in the BG East ring captivates me like never before. What a face! A homoerotic wrestler with a full beard is notable enough, but that space between Rex’s front teeth and those movie star eye lashes are astonishingly adorable on such a big, beefy bruiser. From a distance, I’d quickly assess him as a muscle bound basher. His upper body is built for ripping opponents limb from limb, and good God, those legs blow my mind! I’m convinced this man squats Mac trucks to build that size. There’s no other possible explanation. So, from a distance, Rex gives the overwhelming impression of an über-masculine bruiser with a clear focus on blunt-force trauma. But hot damn it all if, on closer inspection, you don’t discover that disguised underneath that built-to-heel beard and all that muscle mass is a doe-eyed pretty boy that would make your heart melt and your cock rock hard to see first thing lying next to you when you wake up in the morning.

On another day, or perhaps a different month, Strip Stakes 2 might not have propelled Rex to the top of the ratings.  Both Rex and Marc wrestle in broad strokes. There’s little subtlety.  This is a poundingly persistent marathon, not the adrenaline hit off a sprint. In fact, there are moments when I’d swear that the match slides into slow motion. Other than Marc getting racked naked across Rex’s mile-wide shoulders, I don’t remember either of them leaving their feet. But in December, I found myself craving exactly what Rex delivered, including gratuitous post-strip stakes naked victory bashing domination of his dark, bulglingly beautiful opponent.

Frankly, when watching matches with a cum shot chaser, I’m most often satiated long before the combatants reach orgasm. It’s more a curiosity than staple fare for my wrestling kink tastes.  But last month, I found myself nursing a deep lust to watch muscle-Marc helpless in big Rex’s sleeper. Rex pushed my buttons as he dropped the loser to his big, muscle butt and demanded a final emission-submission from the glassy-eyed, bulging muscleboy, who slowly obeyed his overpowering conqueror.

Rex’s bicep remains relentlessly clamped across Marc’s throat forever as the Italian strokes himself to life. Marc leans back, submissively, against the muscled torso propping him up from behind. Rex stares at Marc’s cock as it swells, flushes red with excitement, and grows slick with precum. On command, at the moment Marc shoots his load onto his lower abdomen, he cries out plaintively his final verbal submission even as he slips into unconsciousness with Rex’s grapefruit bicep pressed solidly against his carotid artery.

Rex dump his many-times-over loser of a muscleboy opponent in a heap, climbs out of the ring and leans back into the nearby couch to study the sight of his handiwork lying like so much wasted muscle in front of him. He’s drained me, like Marc, several times over already. But I can’t help myself but be aroused all over again as Rex breathes in the sweaty scent of his and Marc’s stripped gear. After seeing Rex so frequently keeping the action straight at Thunder’s, I admit that I gasped when I first saw him begin to toy with his cock there ringside. The doe-eyed muscleboy is a grower, gentlemen, and by the time he’s done pushing himself over the edge soaking in the sight of Marc’s defeated body in the ring, Rex proves that truly every inch of his muscle armored body is massive.

There’s a moment of intimacy I experience watching Rex jack-off that I just don’t often experience when I’m enjoying homoerotic wrestling or porn. I think it’s the glimpse of that prettyboy face peering out from behind the Colt model beard and beefy bruiser body. Often I don’t give a damn if the objects of my lust get off. The sight of cum, in and of itself, seldom does much to me. But I find myself aching to see Rex’s face twist in the throes of a post-match orgasm. I’m inspired to another bolt of ecstasy at the sight of Rex inspired to a bolt of ecstasy at the sight of his crushed, humiliated, vulnerable opponent in the ring.

Regular readers know that I typically trend toward technicians, lean bodies and fast-paced action (which is why I’d give Austin Raines my second-place trophy this month, if I had a second-place trophy). But this time around, just like Marc Merino, I’m captured and helpless to do anything other than submit in ecstasy to my reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month: Rex Braddock.

Holiday Whiskers

Mighty Rex
Steve Reeves – another bearded beauty

Whiskers and Christmas go together in my mind, so in the spirit of the holiday, I’m lingering today on the furry hotness of homoerotic wrestler muscle bear, Rex. While hardly a doppelganger, there are many shots of beefy Rex that bring to my mind the power and beauty of a classic Steve Reeves (who, without a doubt turned me gay). Rex’s combination of burly, hardbodied thickness and two of the most precious doe eyes are a gift that just keeps giving this season of superficial generosity and rampant consumerism.

Rex crushes Boxxy between those monster thighs.

Rex pinged my radar twice in the past few weeks, first with his informal “welcome” of rookie extraordinaire Boxxy to Thunder’s Arena. If you like cocky banter from a couple of sharp wits, first get in line behind me, and then you might want to check out Thunder’s “Battle of the Scissors.” The bare bones recipe is just that: 2 parts verbal sparring match-slash-metaphorical cock measurement and 1 part civilized, controlled, beautifully delivered exchange of scissors.

Boxxy’s head starts to disappear between Rex’s monster quads.

Rookie Boxxy has been raved about already recently, and there’s almost nothing on that gargantuan man that can safely get any bigger, so to spare a swelling of his head, let me focus on the reason for this post: Rex’s monster thighs. The rookie pretends like he barely notices the headscissors, but I’d wager those tree trunks of Rex’s could crack skulls if he really put his mind to it. Boxxy’s noggin squeezed so high up between Rex’s quads left me wondering about the stuffing that fills Rex’s ample camouflaged package that Boxxy rests his head on like a pillow.

Arriving at BG East as Rex Braddock

Shortly thereafter, BG East introduced their own new release starring Rex Braddock, with the same hot beard, same massive muscles, and a few inches more of beef to admire.

Picture perfect muscle bound wrestling extravaganza!

Strip Stakes 2 takes a while to warm up. Both Rex and Marc Merino (also a Thunder’s alum) are crazy in love with the sight of their own bodies. Hell, it takes Marc a good 5 minutes before he can tear his eyes away from his own flexing physique to notice that someone else has climbed into the ring with him. Once the tussle begins, however, it quickly becomes a feast for fans of big, beefy muscle wrestlers. I may sound just a little critical when I say that Strip Stakes 2 is largely absent of finesse or nuance, but my intention is not to be bitchy. Because every hold, ever slam, ever single moment of the match is 100% about blunt power. Both big bruisers suffer beautifully whenever one of them manages to capture the other long enough to clamp a musclebound limb or two around one vulnerable body part or another.  Frankly, when mighty Rex snaps Marc’s head in a face-to-crotch headscissors just a few minutes into the wrestling, I lose my self control to see the bearded fantasy man marvel lovingly at his own stunning double bicep pose.  Typically, I like a good quantity of speed and subtlety in my homoerotic wrestling, but minute by arousing minute, bone crusher Rex and pretty, curly haired adonis Marc convince me of the profound allure of giant, massive, methodical muscle men grinding away at one another patiently.

Mighty Rex, firmly in control

And this is Strip Stakes, my friends, so Rex and Marc go where the Thunder never rolls. Marc “loses” the terms of the bout, losing three out of five submissions and costing him the last of his modest gear. With a fistful of those curly locks well in hand, Rex lets the gorgeous loser have the day-late-dollar-short thrill of peeling big Rex out of his jockstrap. You might think doe-eyed Rex might leave things well enough alone, but you’d be wrong. He tosses his naked opponent around, lifts, slams, squeezes and crushes the dumbstruck adonis like nothing but a plaything… a huge, musclebound, sweetly handsome plaything.

The Beauty of the Beef

Rex’s thighs continue to mesmerize me, even more so stripped of all gear. I’m guessing that just one of those massive upper thighs is very likely bigger around than my waist. And Rex’s beautiful, bulbous ass and growing cock strike a sure-to-be iconic vision of naked wrestling beauty. Done with toying with the slack-jawed loser, big Rex applies a sleeper that slowly, ploddingly drops Marc to his ass. Rex demands that Marc submit one last time. Marc begins jacking off with Rex still clamped like a lovely vice around his neck, until the curly haired loser screams his final submission even as he’s shooting a load across his own abdomen.

Rex shows Marc what victorious muscles look like.

Like a Steeve Reeves fantasy come to life, Rex stretches out on the couch at ringside, soaking in the sight of his victory as Marc lies unconscious and covered in cum in the center of the ring. He smells the wrestling gear both men wore just a half and hour earlier, and then he begins stroking his own hot rod to life. Huge muscles like Rex’s can tend to, by comparison, dwarf a bodybuilder’s manhood, but have no fear. Rex grows to truly beautiful, stunning proportions and celebrates his victory with a chest-heaving shot of ecstasy of is own.

Rex Braddock ready for action

I’ve heard that mighty Rex can be found elsewhere doing traditional cyberporn. More power to him. I imagine that there are a lot of audiences ready to pay to see him in action. As for me, there’s nothing that I want to see more than this bearded, beefy powerhouse wrestle naked in the ring to a double cum shot finale. I hope we see much, much more of that from mighty Rex in the ring in 2012, and many more skulls getting crushed between those amazing monster thighs!

Giving it a Tug

More shots like this from the filming of Henry Cavill as the Man of Steel just keep winding me up harder and harder! Holy. HELL. I don’t know what Superman plot features so much facial hair on Clark Kent, but this look is really, really (really) turning me on!

I haven’t pictured hot Henry as sporting a full beard in my homoerotic wrestling imagination… yet. With these images seared into my retinas and filed away as priceless memories in the erotic stacks in the back of my brain, I’m strongly suspecting he’ll show up with lots of fur the next time he graces the pages of the Producer’s Ring (which, by the way, Google techs now tell me should be up and accessible for everyone who was recently having trouble accessing the site).

Henry Cavill with a full beard is also sending me diving into my search engines for some homoerotic wrestlers with beards. I’m not talking goatees, though I have been known to have a major crush on a goatee before). Not the soul patch (god forbid). Not the stash (though I must say I’d be up for a ride on this one…). Know what? I’m finding them a rather rare species.

Is it the stubble burn of close contact and lots of friction that makes them unpopular? I see tons of boys with enough stubble to hurt when rubbed the wrong/right way. But to really qualify as a “beard,” and not just a lazy ass 5 o’clock shadow, I’m finding precious little.  There are some “sculpted” beards that just barely qualify in my book. BG East’s Jarel Andretti, for example, has a pencil thin outline that stretches from his sideburns all the way to his chin. Same goes for his beefy opponent Jaguar, depending on the lighting. So I’ll give them partial credit for the beard (and say, yes, yes that’s one hot jobber beatdown!).

Thunder’s Arena has a whole bunch of boys who look like they just got lazy with the razor that morning, but a few who clearly have put enough forethought into sculpting the buzz to just barely skate across the line into beard territory. Big, beautiful, bubble-butted Dozer for example.

I’ll even give massive and gorgeous Mario a nod as a bearded beast, perhaps not because his facial hair looks entirely intentional, but because he’s fucking huge and I’d be afraid that he’d crush me like a grape for implying that his scruff doesn’t count.

But the real rare breed in this zoo is the full, furry, lumberjack beard like Mr. Cavill is sporting these days. The thick, hairy fur that typically accompanies hairy pecs and legs – that’s the stuff that I’m jonesin’ for right now. Ace Hanson’s appearance against Uno, for example, comes to mind. So sad to see Ace has been moved to the ranks of “alumni” since I checked out of Thunder’s last spring.

Hairy beast Rex reminded me of Steve Reeves playing Hercules in the films that turned me gay (not really). But really, Rex does give me a Steve Reeves hit, just like he gave Sledge a picture perfect bone crushing bearhug in Bodybuilder Battle 35.

Naked Kombat’s Scout has to be mentioned for the manly facial hair. He simply doesn’t have the porn body (well, not the gay porn body) that I tune into NK for, but in the sport of spotting the rarified form of a beareded homoerotic wrestler, Scout gets a nod.

Possibly the hottest bearded wrestler I’ve had the pleasure to watch (over and over) is the one hit wonder from Can-Am’s Montreal Muscle Bear Fights, Bruno Sinclair. His battle with silky smooth studpuppy Ricardo Dias puts me in precisely the same mood as where I’m picturing Henry Cavill heading in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.  There have GOT to be more bearded homoerotic wrestlers out there. Who am I missing?

And finally, I simply have to say that it’s as if Henry is reading this blog. Just when I was complaining that there are simply not enough pin up shots of hot hunks from behind in order to marvel at a wide, rippled muscle back, our future Mr. Man of Steel goes and lingers like this long enough for several camera shots. Full nelson, anyone!?