Giving it a Tug

More shots like this from the filming of Henry Cavill as the Man of Steel just keep winding me up harder and harder! Holy. HELL. I don’t know what Superman plot features so much facial hair on Clark Kent, but this look is really, really (really) turning me on!

I haven’t pictured hot Henry as sporting a full beard in my homoerotic wrestling imagination… yet. With these images seared into my retinas and filed away as priceless memories in the erotic stacks in the back of my brain, I’m strongly suspecting he’ll show up with lots of fur the next time he graces the pages of the Producer’s Ring (which, by the way, Google techs now tell me should be up and accessible for everyone who was recently having trouble accessing the site).

Henry Cavill with a full beard is also sending me diving into my search engines for some homoerotic wrestlers with beards. I’m not talking goatees, though I have been known to have a major crush on a goatee before). Not the soul patch (god forbid). Not the stash (though I must say I’d be up for a ride on this one…). Know what? I’m finding them a rather rare species.

Is it the stubble burn of close contact and lots of friction that makes them unpopular? I see tons of boys with enough stubble to hurt when rubbed the wrong/right way. But to really qualify as a “beard,” and not just a lazy ass 5 o’clock shadow, I’m finding precious little.  There are some “sculpted” beards that just barely qualify in my book. BG East’s Jarel Andretti, for example, has a pencil thin outline that stretches from his sideburns all the way to his chin. Same goes for his beefy opponent Jaguar, depending on the lighting. So I’ll give them partial credit for the beard (and say, yes, yes that’s one hot jobber beatdown!).

Thunder’s Arena has a whole bunch of boys who look like they just got lazy with the razor that morning, but a few who clearly have put enough forethought into sculpting the buzz to just barely skate across the line into beard territory. Big, beautiful, bubble-butted Dozer for example.

I’ll even give massive and gorgeous Mario a nod as a bearded beast, perhaps not because his facial hair looks entirely intentional, but because he’s fucking huge and I’d be afraid that he’d crush me like a grape for implying that his scruff doesn’t count.

But the real rare breed in this zoo is the full, furry, lumberjack beard like Mr. Cavill is sporting these days. The thick, hairy fur that typically accompanies hairy pecs and legs – that’s the stuff that I’m jonesin’ for right now. Ace Hanson’s appearance against Uno, for example, comes to mind. So sad to see Ace has been moved to the ranks of “alumni” since I checked out of Thunder’s last spring.

Hairy beast Rex reminded me of Steve Reeves playing Hercules in the films that turned me gay (not really). But really, Rex does give me a Steve Reeves hit, just like he gave Sledge a picture perfect bone crushing bearhug in Bodybuilder Battle 35.

Naked Kombat’s Scout has to be mentioned for the manly facial hair. He simply doesn’t have the porn body (well, not the gay porn body) that I tune into NK for, but in the sport of spotting the rarified form of a beareded homoerotic wrestler, Scout gets a nod.

Possibly the hottest bearded wrestler I’ve had the pleasure to watch (over and over) is the one hit wonder from Can-Am’s Montreal Muscle Bear Fights, Bruno Sinclair. His battle with silky smooth studpuppy Ricardo Dias puts me in precisely the same mood as where I’m picturing Henry Cavill heading in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.  There have GOT to be more bearded homoerotic wrestlers out there. Who am I missing?

And finally, I simply have to say that it’s as if Henry is reading this blog. Just when I was complaining that there are simply not enough pin up shots of hot hunks from behind in order to marvel at a wide, rippled muscle back, our future Mr. Man of Steel goes and lingers like this long enough for several camera shots. Full nelson, anyone!?

Swag

A while back I solicited advice about a quandary. I have only so many resources compared to the wealth of homoerotic wrestling products one can choose from. In fact, in fine tuning my budget in these relatively lean times, I decided that I needed to drop one of my subscriptions. I invited readers to let me know where they think the smart money goes when it comes to subscription homoerotic wrestling.  A lot of you had strong feelings. Never let it be said that gay wrestling fans aren’t loyal! In the end, I decided that based on my tastes, priorities and financial analysis, I would continue to subscribe to the membership sites for BG East, Can-Am, and Naked Kombat, but dropped my subscription to Thunder’s Arena.
Auditions 2011 – Part 6 – Z-Man in trouble against rookie recruit Crush

Of course, I immediately began second-guessing. Naked Kombat has not been sparking my imagination like it used to. Should I have put my non-membership homoerotic wrestling purchases into the financial formula as well, potentially sacrificing DVD and download purchases (such as those I occasionally buy from Rock Hard Wrestling) instead of a subscription? And what could fill the void left by no longer having regular access to marvel at Big Sexy’s ass!?
Big Sexy’s gorgeous ass in jeopardy for butting into The Boss’s Audition 2011
Astute readers noticed that my recent ode to reigning homoerotic wrestler of the month, Z-Man, included some late-breaking photos from Thunder’s Arena. It turns out that Thunder’s Arena missed me, though I’m sure not as much as I missed them (and Big Sexy’s ass).  The brains behind the brawn at Thunder’s, Mr. Mike (though I picture him with big hairy pecs and a hot muscle bear belly), contacted me recently with the offer to enjoy Thunder TV, the Thunder’s Arena membership site again, complimentary for 6 months.
Angel welcomes talk, dark and very handsome rookie, James to the Thunder’s mat
There are two strings attached to my complimentary Thunder’s TV access. 1) I give my honest reviews of Thunder’s Arena wrestling releases in an effort to inform neverland readers about matches they might want to check out for themselves. I’ve never agreed, at any point, to anyone, to give a positive review to any wrestling matches that I don’t genuinely enjoy. I continue to think of this blog as just one man’s musings about what turns him on. So I’ll never say that something turns me on when it doesn’t. Regardless of the  price of a product, regardless of the pressures of rabid readers incensed that I don’t give enough respect to their favorite wrestlers, I strive always to just call it like I see it.
Sledge appears sick of all this attention paid to Z-Man lately in the upcoming release,
No Holds Barred 15 (photo previews available at Thunder’s TV)
String 2) attached to my complimentary Thunder TV membership is that I will clarify that of all the incarnations of Zack Vazquez, Zack Johnathan, Zack Holt… it was Thunder’s Arena that was the first to dub him “Z-man.” Despite Z-Man bringing the same nickname with him to BG East, the wrestling career indexed under “Z-Man” started with Thunder’s Arena. Fair enough.
Sexy, sweaty Sledge examines the target of his fury
My complimentary Thunder TV membership isn’t the only free wrestling entertainment that I’ve been handed.  After around 735 posts over the past two and a half years, and with a recent average of over 2,500 page hits a day, my fanatical adoration for homoerotic wrestling has come to the attention of several companies.  I’ve occasionally been surprised to receive unexpected, unsolicited downloads or DVDs with an invitation to enjoy them and write a review. I’ve even been offered the opportunity to name some of the products on my wish list, in order to continue to spread the news about the wrestling that inspires and feeds my lusts. The saying, “kid in a candy store” comes to mind!
Z-Man offers rookie recruit Lex a free shot in No Holds Barred 14
In case anyone is concerned that my integrity may be compromised by accepting free stuff from invested parties, I have a couple of responses. First, I’ve never accepted money for anything I’ve done on my blog. My enrichment from wrestling companies has always been in-kind. If I didn’t like what they were producing, it wouldn’t be much of an incentive to get access to more wrestling that I didn’t enjoy. Second, and likely most importantly, I do not claim or strive for anything like journalistic objectivity. Frankly, I don’t actually believe in the concept of objectivity, philosophically speaking. But practically speaking, neverland has always been about my biases, my particular tastes, my personal, subjective kinks and quirks. It’s ALWAYS about what I’m partial to. This accounts for everything that I bother writing about on the pages of this blog. It also accounts for my apathy in response to criticisms that have come my way complaining that I’ve shortchanged someone else’s favorite wrestlers and matches.  I experience no anxiety or concern about the fact that my favorites (i.e., my biases) don’t always coincide with everyone who reads neverland. For a more complete reiteration of this theme, consult the “Diverse Tastes” guest contributor series from this past summer.
My newest infatuation – Lex (love those thighs!)
So thanks, Mr. Mike, for the generous offer! I’m already newly in love with Thunder’s rookie Lex, with that hot bod, handsome, freckled face, mouthFUL of teeth, Texas accent and fantastic bronze tan lines framing that rocking, lily white ass! Even better, despite some obvious nervousness in his first on-camera appearance getting initiated by aforementioned Z-Man, Lex’s wrestling is highly entertaining. He suffers like a champ, and he demonstrates delightful skill in telling the story of the cocky, new generation badass. “It’s time for you to learn some new moves, punk!” he snarls with a sadistic grin as he hip-tosses Z-Man like a sack of potatoes. Those legs!!  A flying body scissors from a hot, young Texan!?  I’m seeing double vision with Lex superimposed directly on top of the image of Kevin Von Erich hanging off the side of a standing opponent, crushing the life out of him with those iron clad thighs. He wrestles better than your average rookie, but Lex inevitably gets schooled and conquered by the crafty, hot-bodied veteran willing to introduce Lex to an “old” move of a double ball claw.
Z-Man teaches rookie Lex that success in Thunder’s Arena
will take more than good looks, a hot body, and “new moves”
Nice!

Tats Named

I completed a major milestone today that I’ve been working toward for the past 4 months (accounting for spotty posting and neglected wrestling fiction in that time). So in honor of a banner day in the Bard household, I’m declaring you all “Name That Tat” quiz geniuses, and I’m passing out gold stars to everyone. Let’s review what you, my homoerotic wrestling genius friends, already know:
Tat #1 belongs to…

Jobe works his ass off in many venues, but here he’s pictured in his hot-off-the-presses newest release for BG East, wrestling against Cage Thunder in Masked Mayhem 8.

Tat #2 belongs to…
…BG East’s Braden Charron.
I haven’t seen this match, but from the stills, I have to say that I think Braden’s gear in Hunk Bash 11 against Kieran Dunne is my very favorite thing that I’ve seen Braden in (excluding seeing him in nothing at all). I’d still like to hear a translation for the shoulder tat. I’m guessing it says something like, “Beautiful Bubble-Butt Boy.”

Tat #3 belongs to…
…Thunder’s Arena’s rookie, Sledge.
Now those are pecs you can sink your teeth (or claws) into! Here, Sledge is pictured in his debut match, going up against muscle tat body beautiful, Eric Fury, in Bodybuilder Battle 27.

Tat #4 belongs to…
…Naked Kombat’s Tyler Saint.
 Tyler is back this week from a long absence from Naked Kombat and homoerotic wrestling, and true to the PR, he’s looking bigger and harder than ever against hairy hunk Alessio Romero.

And tat #5 belongs to…
…BG East classic, Syddo Riley.
Syddo’s buried deep in the catalogs, but he’s a treasure to look at when you find him. This sweet bicep flex from Syddo seems to be not directly related to any one wrestling match that I can find him in, but just to illustrate the excellent use he managed to put all those muscles to, here he is ripping the deltoid muscles off the bone of babyface muscleboy, Tony Romano for Bratpack 12.
So raise your glass with me now and toast to your homoerotic wrestling acuity and to my success of the day! Well done, my friends!