Tag: Henry Cavill

New Digs

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Welcome to neverland’s new address!  I recommend that regular readers bookmark this page for future reference, since I will no longer be updating the old site at blogger.  Happily, I’ve been able to transfer all the old posts as well as reader comments into this new format. For your convenience and to just clarify any issues of monetization and undue influence, there will continue to be no ads here at neverland other than the unsolicited publicity I offer through my discussions of homoerotic wrestling products that I enjoy. Check out the About page for reference to photo copyright owners who have generously given me permission to repost their images here.  You can also find an updated Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month Hall of Fame, and I’ve made some major administrative decisions regarding my running favorite homoerotic wrestler titles – namely, I’m collapsing the two categories of favorites (pornboys and non-pornboys), and once again forcing them all to battle it out in one big pool of sweat and tears for my lust and adoration. The Favorites page gives a more detailed explanation of how I came to this decision and where I drew the lines, but for those with a casual interest, suffice it to say that the inaugural unified title holder as my favorite homoerotic wrestler running is long-time infatuation of mine, wrestler-turned-bodybuilder-turned-wrestler Lon Dumont.

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BG East’s Lon Dumont is my favorite homoerotic wrestler unified title holder.

I hope to get this new incarnation of neverland back to some of my roots, including intentionally blurring the lines between homoerotic wrestling fantasy and pop culture, celebrating beautiful bodies that do (or should) populate the homoerotic wrestling scene, and naming the names of the men, matches and maneuvers that dial my wrestling kink sensibilities up to 11.

In that vein, here are some fantasy match-ups I’ve chosen for which hot Hollywood hunk currently making news should climb into the wrestling ring, and which current homoerotic wrestling hardbody should be there to greet him.

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Model-turned-actor-turned-superhero 6’1″ Henry Cavill
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Model-turned-softcore-pornboy-turned-homoerotic-wrestler 5’10” Zack Johnathan (Z-Man)

First up on my plate is cleft chinned fashion model Henry Cavill, who’s come a long, long way to be all-American (albeit, space alien) superhero Superman in this Spring’s blockbuster. This photo is of a leaner Henry from Immortals, sporting a physique that speaks to me even louder than his hairy chested behemoth muscleman incarnation in Superman. Talk about a star on the rise, Henry seems to be making tongues wag and mouths drool uncontrollably lately.  He’s starred in several pieces of homoerotic wrestling fiction I’ve penned, and I think the perfect homoerotic wrestling veteran to test the newly minted man of steel would be equally devastatingly handsome beauty, Z-Man. I picture the blinding beauty of both of these boys inspiring them to higher and higher heights of savagery and lust for domination. Lovely Henry would have a lot to learn, and I think two-thirds of this match would involve Z-Man demonstrating all of the cruel tools of the trade he’s suffered for so many years at the hands of his opponents. However, I think Henry would be a quick study, sucking the air out of Z-Man’s lungs with an unexpectedly aggressive crotch claw, scoring the decisive knockout victory, and then working over the slowly rousing Z-Man’s luscious pecs with his tongue.

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Rower-turned-jokester-turned-tv-hearthrob 6’4″ Joel McHale
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Muscle-teen-turned-bondage-dominator-turned-wrestler 5’10” Muscle Master Kevin

Joel McHale not only graduated from an institution that I did, he also grabbed a whole lot of attention when he disrobed for the first time on his network television show Community, instantly earning him a spot in the crowded field of funny men hunks I lust after.  While I don’t follow Community faithfully, it’s a sentimental favorite of mine for no other reason than Joel’s mouthwatering pecs. I think this giant funny man could have no better greeter when he enters a wrestling ring than ice-cold and entirely humorless Muscle Master Kevin, boss-in-chief and stunningly pectacular CEO of Muscle Domination Wrestling. No shit, the initial stare down would be between Master Muscle Kevin’s baby blues and Joel’s mouthwatering nipples (because you know Kevin wouldn’t deign to look up). The muscle master very well might bite off more than he can chew in ripped comedian Joel, who I think harbors the deep cynicism of a serious heel-rising. But I have to think even with the size disadvantage, Master Muscle Kevin would slowly beat the tallboy down to size, humiliate him, terrify him, and teach him crucial lessons Joel would need to learn to own the ring as the heel he harbors deep inside.

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Hero-turned-villain-turned-hero-hottie 5’10” Sendhil Ramamurthy
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Pornboy-brute-beefcake 6’0″ Marcus Ruhl

Discovering that Sendhil Ramamurthy was back on television and shirtless stoked some sizzling hot embers he first lit when I fell in lust with him on Heroes. He appeared in a couple of fictional wrestling matches I wrote, but the height of homoerotic wrestling fantasy would be to see him climb into the ring and discover beefy pornboy kombatant Marcus Ruhl staring down at him. There’s no way that the tidal wave plowing into him would leave sensational Sendhil anything other than flat on his back with knees in the air, but I think he’d make the pornboy work hard for it. One way or another, however, there’s a pony ride in Sendhil’s future appearances in my imagination (with Sendhil as the pony, of course).

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Roman-god-turned-naked-werewolf 6’5″ Joe Manganiello
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Twink-turned-terminator 5’9″ Chace LaChance

Finally, Joe Manganiello is never far from my homoerotic wrestling fantasies. He’s a recurring character in my fiction, and even more frequently appears to me in my fondest dreams. There may have never been a Hollywood actor more perfectly suited to be a homoerotic wrestling god than mountainous muscleman Joe. In fact, I struggle to imagine who could manage to initiate the mighty beast sufficiently. Having admired the beastly transformation of Chace LaChance from tweezed go-go-boy to brutishly massive muscleman, however, I’m picturing Chace to be the one to give rookie Joe a boot to the face as the Hollywood stunner tries to stride up to the ring apron for the first time. Chace has taken some severe beatings, and I have to imagine Joe would match him muscle for muscle, and then some. But my fantasies could picture no other outcome than big, beautiful Joe flat on his back with Chace’s muscle butt planted across his face as the Hollywood heartthrob taps frantically his final submission before Chace strips him naked (like we haven’t seen that before) and rides his glorious ass (okay, that would be new) as picture perfect Joe hangs onto the ropes and moans.

So leave me a housewarming present here at neverland 2.0 by sharing in the comments below your Hollywood-turns-homoerotic-wrestling fantasy match-up.  And welcome!

Giving it a Tug

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More shots like this from the filming of Henry Cavill as the Man of Steel just keep winding me up harder and harder! Holy. HELL. I don’t know what Superman plot features so much facial hair on Clark Kent, but this look is really, really (really) turning me on!

I haven’t pictured hot Henry as sporting a full beard in my homoerotic wrestling imagination… yet. With these images seared into my retinas and filed away as priceless memories in the erotic stacks in the back of my brain, I’m strongly suspecting he’ll show up with lots of fur the next time he graces the pages of the Producer’s Ring (which, by the way, Google techs now tell me should be up and accessible for everyone who was recently having trouble accessing the site).

Henry Cavill with a full beard is also sending me diving into my search engines for some homoerotic wrestlers with beards. I’m not talking goatees, though I have been known to have a major crush on a goatee before). Not the soul patch (god forbid). Not the stash (though I must say I’d be up for a ride on this one…). Know what? I’m finding them a rather rare species.

Is it the stubble burn of close contact and lots of friction that makes them unpopular? I see tons of boys with enough stubble to hurt when rubbed the wrong/right way. But to really qualify as a “beard,” and not just a lazy ass 5 o’clock shadow, I’m finding precious little.  There are some “sculpted” beards that just barely qualify in my book. BG East’s Jarel Andretti, for example, has a pencil thin outline that stretches from his sideburns all the way to his chin. Same goes for his beefy opponent Jaguar, depending on the lighting. So I’ll give them partial credit for the beard (and say, yes, yes that’s one hot jobber beatdown!).

Thunder’s Arena has a whole bunch of boys who look like they just got lazy with the razor that morning, but a few who clearly have put enough forethought into sculpting the buzz to just barely skate across the line into beard territory. Big, beautiful, bubble-butted Dozer for example.

I’ll even give massive and gorgeous Mario a nod as a bearded beast, perhaps not because his facial hair looks entirely intentional, but because he’s fucking huge and I’d be afraid that he’d crush me like a grape for implying that his scruff doesn’t count.

But the real rare breed in this zoo is the full, furry, lumberjack beard like Mr. Cavill is sporting these days. The thick, hairy fur that typically accompanies hairy pecs and legs – that’s the stuff that I’m jonesin’ for right now. Ace Hanson’s appearance against Uno, for example, comes to mind. So sad to see Ace has been moved to the ranks of “alumni” since I checked out of Thunder’s last spring.

Hairy beast Rex reminded me of Steve Reeves playing Hercules in the films that turned me gay (not really). But really, Rex does give me a Steve Reeves hit, just like he gave Sledge a picture perfect bone crushing bearhug in Bodybuilder Battle 35.

Naked Kombat’s Scout has to be mentioned for the manly facial hair. He simply doesn’t have the porn body (well, not the gay porn body) that I tune into NK for, but in the sport of spotting the rarified form of a beareded homoerotic wrestler, Scout gets a nod.

Possibly the hottest bearded wrestler I’ve had the pleasure to watch (over and over) is the one hit wonder from Can-Am’s Montreal Muscle Bear Fights, Bruno Sinclair. His battle with silky smooth studpuppy Ricardo Dias puts me in precisely the same mood as where I’m picturing Henry Cavill heading in my homoerotic wrestling imagination.  There have GOT to be more bearded homoerotic wrestlers out there. Who am I missing?

And finally, I simply have to say that it’s as if Henry is reading this blog. Just when I was complaining that there are simply not enough pin up shots of hot hunks from behind in order to marvel at a wide, rippled muscle back, our future Mr. Man of Steel goes and lingers like this long enough for several camera shots. Full nelson, anyone!?

Bodies Over Time – British Invasion Edition

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Henry Cavill has been intruding into my erotic imagination for quite a while. When the fashion model landed his starring role in The Tudors, the battle of pretty versus pretty between Henry and Irish badboy, Jonathan Rhys Meyers was hot and heavy… in my imagination. The boys had to sort their shit out by climbing into the wrestling ring and beating each other senseless until big, beautiful Henry was  conquered, claimed and tamed by troubled wild child Jonathan. As 16th century aristocratic playboys, my homoerotic wrestling imagination couldn’t help but picture the both of them as babyface twinks with gym bunny chasers.

And there’s nothing at all wrong with that! Slender, smooth bodies with a few aesthetic curves and firm muscles are entirely lustworthy for my tastes.  Sure, I like a hard wrestling hunk with thick muscles, bulging pecs and biceps, and thick and crushing thighs, too. I can also go for seriously big, powerful muscle daddies with hairy pecs and meaty muscle bellies. But I can take a lean, long, smoothly sculpted babyface twink with long eyelashes and a naturally round ass – no doubt about it.

But there’s been a torrent of shirtless pics of hunky Henry flooding broadband recently, and holy fuck! Twinky little Henry has been working out and growing up! That long smooth torso has tightened up quite nicely. For almost released Immortals, Henry’s sweet, sexy chest is now bulging with hot, sharply defined pecs. The boy’s abs not only sport a six pack, but he’s got obliques, and that’s damn hot!  His arms now have not only shapely bulges, but he’s got the vascularity that seriously works me hard.

Now I’m not so naive (I am naive, but just not so naive) as to miss the strategic make-up and post-production manips that make chisel-chinned Henry look a bit harder and more defined than perhaps he really is. But this is simply not the twinky fashion model body of yesteryear. The shoulders alone make it impossible for me to picture Henry in quite the same way that I used to (as satisfying as that was).

And that BACK! There are not nearly enough pin-up shots of hunks from behind… and by that I don’t just mean a chance to size up the ass (though that’s hugely important), but a broad, muscled, powerful back capped by ripped, rock hard deltoids and mountainous trapezius muscles are astonishingly erotic. I love the view from the front, but I find the view from behind every ounce as arousing, calling to mind what I’d see moments before locking him up tight in a full nelson or cutting off his air supply in a ferocious rear choke… or, for that matter, squeezing those hot hips in my fingertips as I drive home my victory fuck, occasionally stroking the rippled muscles laid out before me.

My homoerotic wrestling imagination cast Henry as the prize in a team match between the pairings of Henry and Jonathan versus my picture of Sean Maguire and his bear cub Gerard Butler.  The Tudor twinks put up an admirable fight, but there’s no way that ring battle wasn’t going to end with Jonathan tied helplessly into the corner, watching Henry conquered and tagged as the newest member of the Maguire/Butler cub pack. 

And because a hot, erotic wrestling threesome haunts my fantasies, I also pictured Henry and Gerard teaming up against the muscle gods Joe Manganiello and Mehcad Brooks. In my imagination, Henry is eager to please his senior pack mates, and in turn, Gerard and Sean keep a couple of firm, but doting hands on their boy. Under their tutelage, Henry starts packing on his aforementioned muscle mass and develops a taste for bringing down big muscle studs. So, sure, Sean’s “coaching” ringside makes the cub pack victory a little less than above board, but Henry’s insistence on climbing on top of conquered behemoth Joe and pounding one (well, several) out all over the giant’s epic pecs ends up turning the spotlight squarely on the lustful potential of the up and coming fashion model turned subscription channel pretty boy turned gym bunny powerhouse. Sure, perhaps Joe’s striking, superhuman physique might jump to mind first at the mention of the words, “Man of Steel.” But it was Henry that caught the right eyes and got the nod to play the all-American muscle hero (in both the real world and in my imagination).

And now we see what Henry’s been up to since getting the Man of Steel nod. Sweet JesusMaryandJoseph! This is a man (and no longer can I bring myself to call him a boy) on a mission! This is serious, serious beef, my friends! Those hot, hairy pecs take my breath away, followed closely by still more oxygen deprivation thanks to the boulders he now calls shoulders and the veiny, softball size biceps.

Tell me a rip-n-strip fantasy doesn’t possess you at the sight of this shot from the set! Soaking wet and with a full beard doesn’t hurt one bit, either.  I’ve got a strong suspicion that sooner or later, we’ll see an astonishing fourth appearance of this worship-worthy muscle man appearing in my homoerotic wrestling imagination, and it could very well be that sweet little Henry may have outgrown his daddies. Strutting around with all that beef, it’s a mystery to me whether Gerard and Sean could possibly still keep the collar on such bear daddy potential.

That’s not to say, of course, that there aren’t plenty of big burly muscle men that want to be dominated.  And in muscle-hugging spandex with a big broad back and an amazingly luscious ass, the Henry of my homoerotic imagination could very well be more than happy to remain part of the cub pack, with that ass firmly in the possession of his pack masters. He’s handed over his loyalties in the past, though. In the wrestling drama in my personal fantasies, it has yet to be seen whether the new incarnation of Henry as a major league muscle man would want to keep his place in the pack, trade up to be a bear daddy himself, or become a lone wolf answerable to know one.

Wherever his career and physique take him next, Henry Cavill remains an amazingly hot commodity. I had an itch for him bad when he was lean and lithe. I had a major crush on him as a smooth, gym bunny with a snarl. And I’m profoundly inspired by the sight of him with massive, hairy, poundable pecs, mile-wide shoulders, and biceps ready to crush some skulls.

Whatever lies ahead in his career in this reality, his career in my homoerotic wrestling universe is red hot!

Art-Inspiring Life

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From the roster of gorgeous guys who should mix it up in homoerotic wrestling (and who do, in my imagination at least), comes some sweet mainstream shots that inspire a fresh wave of celebrity wrestling fantasies in me.
Perhaps most noteworthy is the GQ spread featuring muscle god extraordinaire and always my number #1 werewolf, Joe Manganiello, showing off his bod and generating buzz for this weekend’s debut of season 4 of True Blood. A fellow wrestling kinkster made sure that I’d seen these shots of Joe yesterday, because I’m nothing if not transparent in my carnal lust for the mind-blowing hot muscle body of this massive hunk. This much muscle, this defined, on a 6’5″ body is simply inhumanly hot. 
Squeezing Joe into shirts and sweaters a size too small does nothing if not make my imagination fire double-time picturing him in a rip-n-strip scenario.

I’m fascinated by the littering of topless women in this GQ spread, almost entirely facing away from the camera, little more than architectural framing for the out of this world gorgeousness of Joe’s towering, incredible physique. There’s something almost more homoerotic about the vaguely disinterested and impersonal portrayal of the female body, juxtaposed against the riveting visual of Joe’s fantastic form. Sexualized portrayals of women in my hunk eye candy tend to make things go limp for me, but the composition in these GQ shots leave me completely engaged and aroused by Joe’s rippling abs and massive pecs.

And continuing the theme of rippling abs, massive pecs, and my homoerotic wrestling imagination, GQ also has a Chris Evans spread that revives my lusts for this captain, my captain. Chris is due out next month as Captain America, with some fresh new meat on those already sculpted, sexy bones of his. I pictured Chris as testing his homoerotic wrestling mettle against the similar career trajectory of funny man hot bod Ryan Reynolds, with Chris pulling off a surprising last minute upset that, let’s face it, really would upset no one at all.

Chris in bed and spread eagled is a winning photo in my book any day. Chris as an alpha dog only exponentiates the sex that he can’t help but ooze all over everything he comes into contact with.

And finally, from that homoerotic wrestling roster in my mind, comes these new preview caps of Henry Cavill’s astonishingly tasty looking pecs in Immortals, due out in theaters in November. Henry has found himself embroiled in an ongoing series of homoerotic wrestling stories in my imagination, first getting conquered and tamed by his co-star hottie, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, then getting “stolen” from daddy Jonathan by the amorous twosome of Sean Maguire and Gerard Butler, and most recently tagging with Gerard against the intimidating duo of aforementioned giant musclestud, Joe Manganiello along with costar Mehcad Brooks. Daddy Sean plays a pivotal role from ringside, but it’s Henry who proves he is most definitely not the weakest link in this battle of muscle and wits, capping off the cum from behind victory with a post-match eruption that coats Joe’s face and torso with the surprising passion of the English phenom.

Life and the homoerotic wrestling arts are constantly entwined, at least in my imagination. And, truth be told, with the generous skin and skyrocketing careers of made-for-gay hunks like Joe, Chris and Henry, I strongly suspect that the overlap of life and homoeroticism is increasing by the moment.

In Love and War

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For quite a while now, I’ve been nursing a fantasy of a wrestling tag team comprised of hot hunk lovers who get sexed up harder and harder for each other the more they dominate their opponents. The seed for this concept was planted by Tag Team Torture 2, in which both tag teams in match #2 signal that they’re partners in more than just the competitive sense of the word. Adorable Liam Ryan and daddy bruiser Brian Powers are as into each other as they climb into the ring as they are cockily confident in the outcome of the match. Brooklyn Bodywrecker climbs into the ring with his cub, Shane McCall, having tamed and claimed young Shane in leather dog-collared body and soul in Dark Knights 5. Both sets of teammates seem to grow hotter for each other the longer they hold the advantage in the match, culminating in BBW and Shane passionately making out in the center of the ring with Brian tied helplessly in the corner and Liam on his back as BBW force-feeds him Shane’s cock. Damn, I’d love to see more of this concept.
In the mean time, I’m left to my imagination, which inevitably turns to writing up my homoerotic wrestling fantasies in the form of fiction. Over the weekend, I posted a new team match in the Producer’s Ring, which continues the story of British beauty Sean Maguire as daddy-in-charge over his cub pack comprised of Scottish hunk Gerard Butler and Henry Cavill.
To my reckoning, Sean bit and clawed his way (mostly bit) on top of Gerard in a 1-on-1 match earlier. The big Scotsman had no idea when he entered the bathhouse arena that he’d be leaving not only conquered, but the willing (dare I say eager?) pup to the wiley English funnyman. The two showed up again in a team match against co-stars Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Henry Cavill (who’d also worked out their own daddy discipline arrangement earlier). Turns out, Sean and Gerard had their eyes on stealing young Henry away from Jonathan from the beginning, which indeed, they do. For his part, Henry seems to need little convincing to join Sean’s pack once he’s been put in his place.

The most recent chapter I posted this weekend has Gerard and Henry in a command team screen test against up and coming True Blood hunks, Joe Manganiello and Mehcad Brooks. This is Mehcad’s debut in the Producer’s Ring, but regular readers will remember that Joe not long ago competed in a three-way bout against Russell Tovey and Taylor Lautner to determine who is top dog among the werewolf actors. Joe made a big impression on the the entertainment industry power hitters (not to mention Russell Tovey), and he could be in line for much bigger and better things, depending on how his screen test with partner Mehcad sorts itself out.

I don’t picture Joe and Mehcad to be lovers. I do picture them both buying into the hype surrounding their worship-worthy physiques, however. They’re both determined to not only defeat their opponents, to not only impress the talent scouts watching, but to claim what is rightfully theirs: the awestruck worship of their massively muscled physiques.

And let’s face it, Gerard and Henry are undeniably outmuscled. Gerard is a big, hard boy, but he hasn’t been in 300 shape lately. Henry is just now filling his physique out, renovating a fashion model body into an action hero body. Both of them are damn, damn hot in my book, but when it comes to raw power, they’re simply outgunned by their opponents. However, they have two things on their side that their opponents don’t, and it’s those two crucial elements that will determine which team saddles up onto their sleepered-out opponents to pump out some side-by-side victory explosions: the cub pack is fighting as only passionate intimate partners can, and they’ve got daddy Sean coaching them ringside.

Good luck, Joe and Mehcad. You’ll need it.

Re-Filling the Queue

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I’ve been SOOO pleased to be writing wrestling fiction again with more success in getting complete stories on the page! I expect to have at least a couple of new matches posted in the next couple of weeks, the way things are going. This has also coincided with a lot of new readers signing up at the Producer’s Ring and Sidelineland. As another public service announcement you’ve probably read already, Producer’s Ring is a site that represents an ongoing series of celebrity wrestling matches/fights in an apocalyptic version of the world that I dreamed up where capitalism has overthrown democracy, consumerism rules the world, and homoeroticism and wrestling kink are the currency of world power. Sidelineland is a sister-site to Producer’s Ring where I post my own wrestling fiction unrelated to the world of the Producer’s Ring, and where I try to drum up more of you to contribute your own original works of wrestling fiction (happily, with more and more success!). And just a reminder that the most effective way to access the sites and participate in discussions of story ideas and feedback is to sign up at the Producer’s Ring group and the Sidelineland group (the “sign up” process is just to weed out lurking haters).



Along the lines of my wrestling fiction, superherofan has posted some new caps of Gerard Butler from The Bounty Hunter. These are reminding me of one of my fondest storylines from the Producer’s Ring. As the story has unfolded, Gerard Butler challenged Sean Maguire to a grudge match in the Seattle bathhouse wrestling venue known as “The Focus Group.” Not to spoil things too much for those of you who haven’t read it, but suffice it to say that Sean’s smartass mouth comes in very handy in subduing the raging Scot, physically and sexually dominating him, and transforming him into Sean’s very own adoring, submissive cub (be careful what you wish for, Gerard!).

Not long afterward, Sean and Gerard maneuver behind the scenes with the brokers of power in the Producer’s Ring for a team challenge match against Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his own submissive boytoy co-star, Henry Cavill (backstory there, as well). By the end of the challenge match, Henry has been “stolen” from Jonathan, and from the looks of things, he’s not so unhappy about joining the new pack.



With this new inspiration of big-n-beefy Gerard dropped in my lap (now that’s an image that I need to linger on), and with recently clearing my queue of wrestling fiction projects, I’m feeling a hankering to see daddy Sean with his cubs in tow, mixing it up again with some new celebrity hunks. Perhaps a three-on match, or Henry and Gerard teaming up with Sean at ringside “coaching” his boys, or even Gerard in singles again. One way or another, though, I’ve got my sights set on a beefy Scotsman showing up in a wrestling fantasy soon!

Ridiculous

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Along the lines of facial hair, a new teaser pic for the upcoming movie Immortals gives us a fantastic look at Henry Cavill looking shredded, dirty, and sweaty (yes, yes, and YES!). Excellent, highly motivating tease, indeed!

Henry is ridiculously handsome. “Classically handsome” just doesn’t quite capture how completely, perfectly beautiful he is. The aristocratic nose, the chiseled chin, the square jaw, the slightly pouty lips… it’s just ridiculous. He’s what an Abercrombie ad wants to be.

I’m not too surprised that Henry seems fond of the scruff. A little roughness around the clean edges helps soften the ridiculousness of his handsome face. He’s somehow a little more human with a couple days’ growth.

But with a full beard, I find Henry irresistible. Clean shaven, he’s more like something that should be put under glass. With a full beard, though, he’s something that must be touched, stroked… (grabbed in a headlock and then suplexed…. which explains his two matches in my wrestling fiction). With The Tudors coming to an end, I’m glad to see Henry hitting the big screen… shirtless… muscled up… and in fight scenes. I’ll always be a fan of his late-seasons Tudors look, though, a little shaggy and with a full on, sandy brown beard.

The Return of the King

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Once again, I hate myself a little for being so easily manipulated. I want to be Grizzly Adams living off the grid. I want to be the revolutionary. I want to vote third-party. But then I look around me and realize I’m such a tool of capitalist hegemony. My corporate masters clearly string me along, from True Blood to Dexter and, now, to The Tudors, dangling beautiful man-flesh in front of me and sucking money out of my wallet which is now attached permanently to my cable bill.

Anyway… another season (surely the last?) of Jonathan Rhys Meyers smooth shirtlessness starts tonight, and it’s already getting my blood pumping. For an Irishman with no resemblance at all to Henry VIII, he has certainly sucked me in completely to his performance. I’m fascinated to see how he transforms the horrific, bloated, flesh-rotting-on-the-bone historical figure of Henry VIII into a hot and sexy fashion model. Did I mention his frequent shirtlessness?
The ridiculously handsome Henry Cavill is also worth another look, though I’m combing my memory of my English History class in college, feeling a growing certainty that Henry’s character has a bad end. Well, pretty much everyone in Henry VIII’s life met a bad end, didn’t they? I’m confident none of them were quite so delicious to behold as young Henry (Cavill).
For my money (because that’s all I count for in the capitalist hegemony), I was crushed that Kristen Holden-Reid (a guy, a very, very hot guy) was killed off before the end of season 1. It was more Kristen’s gorgeousness in A Touch of Pink that I was rooting for than anything else. Writing a beautiful gay character in King Henry VIII’s court (having a torrid and quite hot, though self-hating, man-on-man love affair), was awesome revisionist history. I like to spend my lifeblood in the capitalist hegemony (my money) on seeing more of Kristen Holden-Reid.
Because real life fiction (?) is never enough to entirely satisfy me, I’ve written an evolving story line in my celebrity wrestling fiction for Henry and Jonathan. An Irishman picked to play Henry VIII over his co-star who’s an Englishman named Henry!? There had to be off-camera drama. So in my imagination, I see some really bitter competition between those boys to determine who really is king, with one hunk being conquered and transformed into an obedient and loyal subject. Frankly, the real Henry VIII produced much more outrageous melodrama than any of us today, but at least my melodrama is rife with homoerotic combat and body worship.