Diverse Tastes – Guest Contributor Bruno

Bruno, the connoisseur of Beefcakes of Wrestling, has quite an eye for wrestling muscles. I check is blog daily, because I rely on folks like Bruno and Joe at Ringside at Skull Island to draw my gaze to the best of the crop of eyecandy professional wrestlers that I’m missing as a result of swearing off straight-up wrestling some time ago. The beefcake that Bruno features works for my wrestling kink about 75% of the time. But honestly, it’s the 25% of the time that fascinates me the most. That 25% of Bruno’s picks that leave me thinking, “Now he’s just not quite doing it for me,” those send me scurrying into the corners of my own tastes and imagination, self-reflecting on the nature of desire, arousal, and personal tastes. Bruno is a gentleman and a gem, and I’m very honored that he’s bringing us this latest in neverland’s summer series of guests posts on the topic of “Diverse Tastes,” in which he provokes and inspires the most essential element in a healthy wrestling kink (or sexual fantasy of any sort, really): the imagination.
——————
Can You Imagine?
by Bruno
One of the things I enjoy most on Neverland is Bard’s homoerotic wrestling fiction featuring TV/movie actors, newscasters, and the hunky carpenters of HGTV. We’ll probably never see studs like Joe Mangianello or Chris Evans step into a ring to wrestle in tight briefs, so creating fictional scenarios where they do is the next best thing.
Joe Manganiello & Chris Evans:
Bruno foreshadows a possible future bout in the Producer’s Ring?
Bard has already featured dozens of sexy non-wrestlers from the worlds of show business, broadcast journalism, and sports and I’d like to contribute a couple of new faces to his roster. 
I’m a pretty private guy and as followers of my blog “Beefcakes Of Wrestling” can attest, I don’t often talk about myself. But I’m going to make an exception for Bard and tell you a little bit about what I do for a living. I’m a voice actor who dubs soap operas from Mexico, Venezuela, Colombia and Argentina from their original Spanish language to English. 
Now if you haven’t watched a “telenovela” yet, you’re missing out on a lot of hot Latin beefcake. The gorgeous actors from these countries are tanned, buff and not shy about showing off their gym-toned bodies. There are two actors I have supplied the voices for whom I think would be perfect for Neverland’s roster of homoerotic wrestlers.
William Levy
First off is the reigning hunk of Mexican soap operas, William Levy. Blonde, ripped and impossibly good-looking, Levy always plays the romantic lead who is both tough and sensitive.
In a wrestling match, he’s the ideal babyface/rookie/jobber — a pretty boy with a lean, athletic build that demands to be punished in hold after excruciating hold. 
Pablo Martin
And who would be the prefect opponent to do that to Levy? Of all the villains I played, the one who most fits the bill as a vicious wrestling heel is  Pablo Martin.
His thick, muscular build and dark good looks remind me of those heels in BG East’s Big-N-Beefy series. Whatsmore, Martin knows how to be nasty; in the soap opera where I supplied his English-sepaking voice, he was despicable as the dastardly, conniving bad guy who tormented the female lead (and who wore speedos 80% of the time!). 

Can you imagine a match between these two Titans of The Telenovela? I’ll leave it to Bard to fill out the rest of the details (should he wish to). Now it’s back to the recording studio for me. Thanks for the opportunity to contribute to your blog, Bard!
————————
Truly my pleasure and honor, Bruno! And this is exactly what I’m talking about. I might never have known about the profoundly inspiring treasures of William Levy and Pablo Martin if it weren’t for Bruno. I believe that all of our fantasies diverge and converge around the worlds in which we live and let our imaginations run free. It takes no more encouragement at all for me to put a William Levy vs. Pablo Martin match on my docket for the Producer’s Ring. And I’m predicting that William is in for a world of hurt and humiliation. Thanks for opening up my wrestling kink imagination that much farther!

Art-Inspiring Life

From the roster of gorgeous guys who should mix it up in homoerotic wrestling (and who do, in my imagination at least), comes some sweet mainstream shots that inspire a fresh wave of celebrity wrestling fantasies in me.
Perhaps most noteworthy is the GQ spread featuring muscle god extraordinaire and always my number #1 werewolf, Joe Manganiello, showing off his bod and generating buzz for this weekend’s debut of season 4 of True Blood. A fellow wrestling kinkster made sure that I’d seen these shots of Joe yesterday, because I’m nothing if not transparent in my carnal lust for the mind-blowing hot muscle body of this massive hunk. This much muscle, this defined, on a 6’5″ body is simply inhumanly hot. 
Squeezing Joe into shirts and sweaters a size too small does nothing if not make my imagination fire double-time picturing him in a rip-n-strip scenario.

I’m fascinated by the littering of topless women in this GQ spread, almost entirely facing away from the camera, little more than architectural framing for the out of this world gorgeousness of Joe’s towering, incredible physique. There’s something almost more homoerotic about the vaguely disinterested and impersonal portrayal of the female body, juxtaposed against the riveting visual of Joe’s fantastic form. Sexualized portrayals of women in my hunk eye candy tend to make things go limp for me, but the composition in these GQ shots leave me completely engaged and aroused by Joe’s rippling abs and massive pecs.

And continuing the theme of rippling abs, massive pecs, and my homoerotic wrestling imagination, GQ also has a Chris Evans spread that revives my lusts for this captain, my captain. Chris is due out next month as Captain America, with some fresh new meat on those already sculpted, sexy bones of his. I pictured Chris as testing his homoerotic wrestling mettle against the similar career trajectory of funny man hot bod Ryan Reynolds, with Chris pulling off a surprising last minute upset that, let’s face it, really would upset no one at all.

Chris in bed and spread eagled is a winning photo in my book any day. Chris as an alpha dog only exponentiates the sex that he can’t help but ooze all over everything he comes into contact with.

And finally, from that homoerotic wrestling roster in my mind, comes these new preview caps of Henry Cavill’s astonishingly tasty looking pecs in Immortals, due out in theaters in November. Henry has found himself embroiled in an ongoing series of homoerotic wrestling stories in my imagination, first getting conquered and tamed by his co-star hottie, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, then getting “stolen” from daddy Jonathan by the amorous twosome of Sean Maguire and Gerard Butler, and most recently tagging with Gerard against the intimidating duo of aforementioned giant musclestud, Joe Manganiello along with costar Mehcad Brooks. Daddy Sean plays a pivotal role from ringside, but it’s Henry who proves he is most definitely not the weakest link in this battle of muscle and wits, capping off the cum from behind victory with a post-match eruption that coats Joe’s face and torso with the surprising passion of the English phenom.

Life and the homoerotic wrestling arts are constantly entwined, at least in my imagination. And, truth be told, with the generous skin and skyrocketing careers of made-for-gay hunks like Joe, Chris and Henry, I strongly suspect that the overlap of life and homoeroticism is increasing by the moment.

I Need a Hero

I’ve promised a friend to do some writing for him this weekend, with a firm deadline. So I’ll keep my blog posts short (and hopefully sweet) in the mean time.

This shot published by EW is making the rounds, showing what’s underneath all the CGI of the upcoming Captain America movie starring porn-ready Chris Evans. This image is deeply stirring me. Chris has already starred in a wrestling fantasy of mine, and looking smoother and huger (is that a word?… like that’s ever stopped me…) than ever, Captain Chris’ body today is making my head explode. Can’t you just imagine those pecs flexing, squeezing hard with some unfortunate hunk’s head wrapped up in Chris’ side headlock (screaming)?

He’s just begging for a return trip to the Producer’s Ring, I tell you. In a life-imitating-art-imitating-life moment, I’m thrilled to see the unbelievably hard, hot, walking-sex male body being capitalized to its fullest. The days of someone like Michael Keaton being packaged as a hardbody superhero already seem quaint. I think Captain Chris is raising the bar for Hollywood, and I for one am ready to join the throngs demanding more obscenely gorgeous, muscleboy stars getting ripped to shreds and showing off their physiques generously. Inch by inch, this world is looking more and more like my own post-apocalyptic vision of the day when homoeroticism rules the world.

This is also making me ache for some superhero homoerotic fantasy, pushing the third chapter of my superhero series higher on the docket. Damn, so many fantasies, so little time.

O Captain, My Captain

Pics from the set of Captain America, starring superhero everyman, Chris Evans, are popping up to make us ache. Chris’ body is so stunning that it makes me gasp just a little even when he’s fully clothed.

A cynic (not me) might wonder if there are prosthetics involved in these pics. Clearly, he’s wearing some fake feet, which is just weird. But my vote is that those astonishingly massive shoulders and bulging biceps are all Chris.

A paparazzi pic from a year ago caught Chris in a similar shrink-wrap shirt, and although his shoulders and pecs may not be quite as ponderous, I’m willing to believe that a year of knowing you’re about to portray Captain America in a multi-million dollar film could account for the distance it would take to get from a year ago to the set pics from just a few days ago (which clearly isn’t far, in any case).

Chris and his slapstick-hottie-twin-separated-at-birth, Ryan Reynolds are both eating up superhero parts left and right with pecs so sweet that they deserve to be in a comic book. I can’t help but picture these two as covering so much of the same ground that their paths must cross and they must find themselves pec to pec, wondering if there are enough parts for smart ass funnymen with achingly gorgeous bodies. That idea forced me (forced me, I tell you!) to write a high stakes fictional wrestling match for the two of them. If I absolutely had to pick which one of these two would win a nasty, balls out pit battle, I think the tale of the tape would be extremely close. That’s the way I wrote it, though I did come down with one definite winner in the end. I can’t say that anyone (especially me) really lost out in this wrestling fantasy, though. With both of them continuing to strut their pecs in superhero flicks, I could imagine a rematch could be required at some point.

I Need a Hero

In a world full of politicians who check the polls before they decide whether to take a piss, where people who sell coffee are legally required to give written notice to customers that their hot beverage may be hot, where a televised same-sex kiss in prime-time still merits a parental advisory… I need a hero. I need to imagine that someone out there is courageous, selfless, and duty-bound to use his dominating power in defense of the powerless.
Oh, and this guy really has to be gorgeous with the body of a Greek god. So just to recap, Ryan Reynolds will be starring as Green Lantern in an upcoming production that I will be desperate to see. Ryan Reynolds in a skin tight superhero outfit… that image has been blatantly plagiarized from my erotic imagination. Well, not really, considering Ryan already played an anti-hero in Wolverine.
Ryan plays the smart ass comic so well, I’ll be interested to see if he can pull off the larger than life, inherently melodramatic portrayal of a defender of the universe. In my imagination, of course, he had to win this role by literally beating out both Bradley Cooper and Justin Timberlake at the same time, which he succeeded in doing in a all-naked double choke-out (how else?).
Also previously announced, Australian hot commodity, Chris Hemsworth will be starring soon in the movie adaptation of the Norse god turned comic book hero, Thor. I was seriously doubtful about this casting, but I’m getting more convinced with each new shot of Chris I see. He’s clearly putting on slabs of muscle.


Chris and his brother,
Liam, were recently photographed in a fight (well, sort of…), outside a bar in Hollywood. The snarling look on both Hemsworth boys’ faces has inspired me to start thinking about a brothers team tournament in the Producer’s Ring. Indicative of his skyrocketing Hollywood career, Chris has already shown up twice in the Producer’s Ring, both times getting seriously (and satisfyingly) worked over.

The most recent casting announcement to tickle my fantasy is Chris Evans as Captain America. Chris has the body of a gay pornboy, and any movie with him fully clothed is blatant disregard for his true calling. His hairy torso is just about the most sexual thing I’ve seen on the big screen. His body was almost too distracting in his previous foray into superherodom, as Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four.

Like Ryan, I think Chris has an extra burden of toning down his natural comedic skills to play it straight, particularly for Captain America. Of course, he’s already the stuff of my wrestling fantasies, appearing against Ryan in an early match in the Producer’s Ring. In that match, both boys had to battle their inner class clowns to stay focused on hammering the smirk off of each other’s faces. Chris took a particularly savage turn in that bout, surprising even himself with the depths he would plumb to conquer his hardbody opponent.
Reynolds, Hemsworth and Evans are excellent answers to my need for a hero these days. I’m fully supportive of more superheroes in my life. So squeeze into that spandex, pump up the pecs, and take on evil with that cocky self-assurance that, in the end, whether you start the fight or not, you’ll be man enough to finish it.

Thinly Veiled

Squarehippies, “the site for shirtless male celebrities,” has the ironic new posting featuring screencaps of Jamie Bamber shirted. Like Squarehippies, I completely agree that paying Jamie to appear in a movie in which he remains entirely clothed throughout is like hiring a prostitute to watch TV with. What’s the point?

Still, despite the un-evocative caps of Jamie from Pulse 2 (what the…?), I do admit that I’ve seen some mighty arousing pics of Jamie with clothes – albeit, in skin tight, soaking wet shirts. It’s hard to disguise that stunning Brit body in a painted on T. I’d prefer to see some of his bare-chested deliciousness, but hell, it’s not like this is bad:


Which makes me think… when is it not all bad to see my worship-worthy objects of lust fully clothed? Sometimes, I think, an occasional shirted shot is nearly as drool-worthy as all skin… nearly…


Ryan Kwanten has spent the first two seasons of True Blood primarily naked, and secondarily clothed only from the waist down. On those rare occasions then he’s donned a shirt, it’s hugging that 0% body-fat-bod like a layer of sweat. His chest straining the fabric, his biceps bulging, popping out of the short sleeves… okay, so this is certainly a tasty treat. It’s not like I wouldn’t stumble all over myself if I saw Ryan in a skin-tight T walking down the street.
Speaking of stumbling all over myself, one of my newsboy crushes is making me feel all flustered in this pic of him in an urbancouture t-shirt. Rob Marciano can’t look ugly. He’s simply not capable of it. But this white t-shirt accentuated that massive, gorgeous chest leaves so very little to the imagination. His nips showing through are mindblowing. Any wonder why Rob features prominently in my first newsboy wrestling fiction series?
Hugh is looking more and more beastly as he ages, which is simply sexy as hell. His vascularity is jaw-dropping. This shirted pic of him hardly competes with his Bondi Beach shirtless romps in the waves, but look at the way his pecs stretch out that fabric. A little nipplage is icing on the cake, and those rock hard shoulders squeezed into that polo are… what, the ice cream? Whatever the metaphor, I want to eat him… I mean, I want to eat it.

And along the lines of edible, I’ve never seen a boy in long sleeves as sssssexy as this pic of Chris Evans. Hell, he even has two shirts on, and still his rocking body is on stunning display. The pecs, the shoulders, the biceps…. Sweet God, I definitely want to see this man with a shirt on…. so that I can slowly rip it off of him. Come to think of it, all of these shirted studpuppies show up in my gay wrestling fiction. With bodies that can’t look bad, naked, clothed, or any variation thereof, my imagination kicks into overdrive at the sight of these hunks.

Jokes and Jocks


There’s something very sexy about a man who can make you laugh. Those blessed few that combine true comedic gifts with gorgeous looks seem to comprise a fantastic genre in entertainment these days: the funny hunk. Some current favorites of mine in this pantheon of comedy studs include Ryan Reynolds, who just seems to be getting more thickly muscled every day. I have my fingers crossed that his casting in the new Green Lantern movie will include lot’s of skin-tight spandex (which will then be removed). Chris Evans is another funny-man who just seems to ooze sex. When that fantastically hairy torso is bare, it’s hard to actually pay attention to his clever dialogue, but I’m willing to cope with that challenge. And finally, I think Sean Maguire is absolutely stunning. Funny, astonishingly hot, and an English accent?! Good God. I have to agree with SquareHippies‘ assessment that Sean’s is “the face of sex.” Whatever timing, attitude, self-assurance it takes to do comedy well seems to me to translate well to the wrestling ring. The cocky self-possession makes for great characters to battle it out… at least that’s where my imagination takes me. The Producer’s Ring has one hot and sweaty match between Ryan and Chris already, with more comedian hunk appearances on deck.