And I quote, "Masks are for losers!"

Briefly known as York
I don’t often bother with “spoiler alerts,” but for what it’s worth, here’s one for you.  I’m about to identify one of the masked-unmasked wrestlers in BG East’s latest release in the Masked Mayhem series.  Should you be terribly heartbroken to learn the name of the wrestler appearing as “Yorik” in the first match on this DVD, turn away now. But a word to the wise, if you actually buy the DVD, you’ll know who this hot and hairy stud is within seconds. Still turned off by the idea of knowing the secret identity of Yorik? Click here now.
Silver Eagle hangs hot and sweaty Yorik out to dry like the laundry!

Before I venture into my thoughts about the pseudonymous Yorik, let me take a moment to appreciate his masked opponent, Silver Eagle.  Wowza! Sweet, juicy ass.  Seriously packed package. Big, strong, and deceptively fresh on the scene.  I like this guy. Quite a bit.  His opening salvo on “Yorik” is fucking hot and powerful.  Normally I throw up just a little in the back of my mouth when I see a wrestler decked out so blatantly appealing to patriotic fervor, but when this bubble-butted hero slaps Yorik dismissively in the face and kicks him when he’s down, I have to admit, I’m turned on.  I’ll pull out my superhero/military man fantasies for him if Silver Eagle is down with getting nasty, mean, and engaging in totally unnecessary roughness and hot domination!

Patriotism is knocked on its ass!

I swear I’m convinced the out-of-nowhere flag-draped rookie is going to be the star of this show, absolutely having his way with the hairy badboy in black.  But that big, blue package of his is just such a target!  Swing that thing too often in a heel’s face and he’ll knock the air right out of your lungs with a punch where it hurts the most.  And that’s just what happens to Silver Eagle.  And even more astonishing, his opponent schoolboy pins the patriot and then peels of his own mask, revealing that he’s none other than tidal wave rising heel, Morgan Cruise!

Too handsome and terrifying to put a mask on it!

There’s so much that veers off the track in this Masked Mayhem match that it leaves me dizzy.  First and foremost is the fact that Morgan unmasks himself within minutes of the match starting, and from that point forward beats the living shit out of his formerly unstoppable red, white, and blue boy opponent.  The masked wrestler gimmick (said lovingly) is iconically exactly the opposite of that.  The wrestler is somehow superhumanly powerful cloaked in anonymity.  He’s darker, more mysterious.  His depths are untested and unknown behind his disguise, and so his threat is magnified.  Its when a wrestler is unmasked that he reverts to his mere mortal shell again.  Unmasked, his inexhaustible strength evaporates.  His forced exposure humiliates him, and he’s left at the mercy of the man who remains a mystery behind his mask still securely laced about his head.

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!

Morgan turns that meme on it’s head, growing three times stronger and infinitely more terrifying unmasked than he was as “Yorik.”  The heroic big hero Silver Eagle doesn’t know what the hell hit him as the minutes tick by, as Morgan kicks that gorgeous, metallic blue ass of his from a dozen different angles.

Morgan writes his own script across the bashed body of Silver Eagle

The match itself flies in the face of an icon of professional wrestling: the power of the masked wrestler. Morgan rewrites the book with his dripping, hot bod hammering all over Silver Eagle like there’s nothing but a rookie in way over his head under that shiny fabric laced to his face.

Morgan displays the rookie’s best side!

The reversal of the fixtures of masked wrestling is astonishing, captivating, and somehow that much more dangerous and suspenseful.  But Morgan Cruise fans will not be surprised when I report that the cruise-missile heel rising cannot stop his mouth from running.  And I swear to you, what comes out of his mouth makes me think that the foundations of BG East are seriously shaking at this very moment. Morgan explains that he hates masks.  He boasts that his reputation is twice as terrifying as any mask.  He’ll never wear a mask (again, presumably), because 1) he’s too handsome, and 2) people know and fear his face, so why would he want to cover that up!?  But then Morgan goes one step farther, one more step that made me gasp.  “Masks are for losers!” he snarls.

Morgan makes the masked man “the loser”

Holy fuck, did I just hear that right!?  We already knew that Morgan Cruise has got balls, but really!? He comes onto the Masked Mayhem series, a storied and highly popular genre, and disrespects the entire format?!  This is just match #1 on this DVD, mind you, so this is the first act to two more rip-roaring masked mayhem battles starring no fewer than three former homoerotic wrestlers of the month around these parts.  I’m desperately aching to know what any one of the other masked wrestlers on this DVD have to say in response to the coldly calculating call-out of the likes of Cage Thunder and The Enforcer!

To quote Big Bird after the Presidential Debate: Shit just got real!

There’s no mistaking that Morgan is a planner.  I don’t believe for a second that this was some off the cuff nastiness that he’ll walk back like a Republican Presidential candidate who’s just won the primary race.  Has Morgan Cruise just stepped over the line?  Is he out of control!? Or even more provocatively, is there a seasoned veteran who’s going to put the heel pup on his back, or is Morgan Cruise writing the rules now?  Wow.  Just… wow!

3 thoughts on “And I quote, "Masks are for losers!"

  1. Just to fuck with the natural order of things, Morgan decides, at the last minute, not to unmask Silver Eagle, and instead he places his own mask on top of the rookie's mask, leaving him there as a double-loser, so to speak.

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