My reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler, Lon Dumont, has been guaranteed entertainment for me from the first moment I saw him strike a mouthwatering side chest pose in the BG East wrestling ring before setting the standard for forced-to-flex matches. When I scored neverland’s first wrestler interview with Lon 2 years ago, my infatuation with this polished pro wrestler-turned competitive bodybuilder-turned homoerotic wrestling star merely intensified. I discovered that Lon is an incredibly thoughtful, even philosophical man with strong opinions about masculinities, being an object of lust, and the timeless lessons of Rocky. When Lon also revealed his compassion and passion for rescuing/being rescued by shelter animals, I was pretty much done for. The only question left was whether this is the sexiest, or just one of the sexiest hunks haunting my wrestling fantasies. At the moment, this beautiful baritone body beautiful bad ass is firmly in the “sexiest” category.
Sadly, Lon recently had emergency minor surgery when his appendix flared up. Of course, even minor surgery feels major when it’s your rockhard abs that are getting sliced into. This unwelcome intrusion into his health equation comes at a particularly inopportune time, namely as he’s starting to zero in on some bodybuilding competitions this spring. Word is that Lon is on strict doctor’s orders to avoid strenuous exercise (particularly anything requiring he crunch his washboard abs) for another 3 weeks or so.
If it were me, I’d be kicking my feet up, sucking down comfort food, and happily leaving my abdominal muscles fallow, enjoying the excuse to skip a few weeks of tending to the more apparent health of my body while my insides heal. I’ve never been one to seriously enjoy working out. I do it, and I feel better physically and self-esteem-wise for it. However, it’s something that always requires being put on my to-do list, rather than something that I look forward to. I get the impression, however, that Lon is a different beast altogether. He seems to have his physical conditioning (all aspects, including working out, psyching up, and dieting down) down to a near-exact science. He whittles down every spare fat cell to oblivion through a systematic and, it appears to me at least, obsessive infatuation with carving up his body like a master builder. Handing over that masterpiece to a surgeon to, more literally, carve open and sew back up again, seems like quite the exercise in giving up control for a physique artist like lovely Lon.
Personally, I’d like to offer my help in nursing Lon back to health, including any assistance he might need in bathing, dressing, and undressing. I can’t imagine that his surgeon should have any objection to a full-body, well-oiled massage, as long as I steer clear of his lower abdomen. While I wait by the phone for his call to take me up on my offer, perhaps you’d like to pass along your get-well wishes (and any additional offers of home health aid). I know that he periodically checks in here at neverland to stay abreast of what his number one fan (that’s me, and don’t you forget it!) is musing about when it comes to Lon’s most natural habitat of all – the homoerotic wrestling ring. So if you aren’t already directly in contact with Lon (and I, for one, am always ready to be in direct contact with Lon… particularly in contact with is pecs), drop him a get-well note in the comments below.
Sincerely, get well soon, Lon. And let me know if I can be of any “assistance.”