It’s all subjective, of course, which makes debating which homoerotic wrestlers are sexiest, most accomplished, most entertaining, etc. both a joy and a farce. Some pics of recently-released matches have been hypnotizing me with some truly gorgeous, come-hither, tantalizingly beautiful eyes. I’m sure you’d pick out a different line up to epitomize the sexiest eyes in the business, but boldly embracing the eye-of-the-beholder angle, my thoughts today are about the hunks who hold my gaze most powerfully with their piercing, provocative stares.
There’s nothing short of exquisitely beautiful about lovely Rio Garza, but his deep, brown eyes are simply riveting!Gazing into Pretty Pete Sharp’s eyes are like bathing in a glacier fed mountain lake – almost too thrilling to stand!Thus far Vic Madonehas been a one-hit-wonder at BG East, but I’m hoping to see more of him. His eyes coo, “I’m going to fuck you sweetly,” while his hot bod and nasty wrestling promise, “I’m just going to fuck you up!”Michael Vineland has such a hot body unquestionably made for nothing better than fuck-stakes wrestling, but he’s got the blue steel and cheekbones of a fashion model.Sky blue irises!? What sort of genetic lottery winner do you have to be to have the body of a Norse god, dimpled chin of a Hollywood leading man, and sky blue irises!? You have to be my reigning favorite homoerotic wrestler and homoerotic wrestler of the month, Kid Karisma.While we’re on the topic of genetic lottery winners, there’s the perpetually fit physique phenom, Z-Man, with dramatic eyes straight out of Lawrence of Arabia.I once described Chace LaChance as a gogo boy, but lately he looks more like he eats gogo boys for breakfast. The boy is huge, devastatingly powerful, and aesthetically about as picture perfect for my tastes as just about anyone. But whenever I linger for just a moment on those beautiful brown eyes, I can’t help but picture them on the pillow next to me, smiling back at me in the morning.
It’s a rare pretty faced rookie who can pull an upset off on one of the veteran heels in wrestling. Early in last week’s Friday Fashion poll, I thought beautiful Brit Darren Madison was going to do just that, taking a commanding lead in early voting to determine who wore those orange and blue N2N biker shorts best. Slowly, but surely, the veteran and perennial top tier favorite here at neverland, Rusty Stevens, calmly came up from behind (which you know is one of his favorite moves) and then pounded the pretty boy’s ass into the mat, winning the vote with nearly 58%. The attention Darren drew is telling, I think, and I hope that we see more of the rough-n-tumble fratboy with an accent. However, the voters have spoken, and it’s not hard to see why fans would think that Rusty Stevens wore it best.
Rusty strains and struggles, sweating straight through those N2N shorts.
Today’s poll draws again from the N2N fashion drawer, and once again let’s look at that same style of biker shorts, but this time in gold and green. First up is the immensely popular Aryx Quinn, who managed to hold onto this gear an astonishingly long time against, appropriately enough, Rusty Stevens in Can-Am’s Arena 2. Aryx never fails to own mountains of fans with his fuck stakes wrestling, but that’s not the question here. The question is, did he wear it best?
Battling for the vote this week is fellow Can-Am alum, Tyler Reese, who wore the exact same gear in Jobe’s Justice. Tyler never fails to show up cut like crystal, with a boyish face that’s easily overlooked because of that phenomenal physique. Those N2N biker shorts look like they’ve been applied with a butter knife on his incredibly lean, muscled legs. He’s stunningly beautiful, but again, let me remind you, the question is whether he wore it best. Check out the options and vote below!
Aryx Quinn’s bulges stretch that gold and green beautifully. Pretty as a picture and vicious as a viper, Aryx is unquestionably a wrestling fan favorite. But did he wear it best?Bring your dirty laundry, because Tyler Reese as one of the most ripped washboard abs in the business to along with his lean, powerfully muscled body and adorable babyface. Yeah, you wanna wrestle him to the mat and unleash that trouser snake bulging through the contours of his shorts. But did he wear it best?
MDW’s Tidus must have lost a bet. That’s the only thing I can figure, because I can think of no other explanation for the skin tight mesh-top onsie outfit he’s wearing when he climbs in the ring to face Darius in BDSM Ball Bash 6. Darius, the consummate gentleman, doesn’t mention the questionable gear choice. He just flexes all of those fantastic, intimidating, gorgeous muscles and ignores Tidus’ taunts.
Power and beauty
Tidus could easily become a growing obsession for me. He has a hot thug accent (to my untrained, non-Bostonian, biased ear) combined with what I can only describe as a beautifully handsome face and shockingly sexy, lean body. The whole “delicately beautiful thug” presentation keeps me off balance, as perhaps it does Darius as well. Tidus sucker punches Darius mid-flex, pounding into the Black Muscle God’s flexed pec and peaked bicep. “Delicate and beautiful” my ass. Tidus is one sexy thug!
Darius puts all of those divine muscles to use!
A punch into the wall of flexed muscle that is Darius’ physique is like swatting a brick wall. No shit, Darius is actually tickled. He chuckles, rolls his eyes, and then starts beating the living shit out of his blue-eyed opponent. Darius has proven himself as dangerous and powerful in the world of homoerotic wrestling, and he lifts and tosses and slams Tidus as if the lean stud was filled with helium. Tidus fights right back, face-to-face, irritated and not about to back down from overwhelming odds. He holds his own, putting the gentleman bodybuilder on the mat… with A LOT of effort! Darius pounds Tidus with the barest of effort. Tidus pounds Darius back and almost instantly is puffing like a train engine, sweat breaking out across his brow.
Tidus trapped
“Okay, you got a little feisty in ya, huh?” Tidus concedes as he takes stock of the losing side the argument he’s on. At this rate, he’s going to be out of fuel before Darius has managed an elevated heart rate. The calculating thug trips the Black Muscle God, dropping that power packed physique to the mat to see if he can work an advantage on his opponent off his feet. Seconds later, Darius snaps those gargantuan thighs around Tidus’ head, burying that pretty face under mountains of crushing muscle. Tidus’ sexy, lean body writhes and wriggles frantically. He suffers sweetly as Darius takes a breather that he doesn’t even need yet. Finally the beautiful thug punches his way free.
Tidus struggles to turn the tables on the gentleman bodybuilder.
“Okay, so you got a little muscle,” Tidus states the obvious. “But this is still my ring!” he snarls defiantly. “And if you want to flex in my ring, you got to earn it!” Darius is determined to be well up on that challenge. He’s a battering ram, pounding every ounce of his mouthwatering, concentrated muscle mass into Tidus’ mesh-encased, long and lean abdomen. The thug is finally starting to feel out his competition, though. He’s rolling with Darius’ offense and then using the gentleman bodybuilder’s own momentum against him. The back and forth starts to even out a bit, but there’s still an air of inevitability about Darius’ dominating ways.
The Tidus Twist!
“Not bad, not bad at all,” Tidus concedes the painfully obvious truth once again. “But you fight too fair!” And with that the delicately beautiful thug opens up an assault on Darius’ balls that is quite literally breathtaking. A delicately beautiful thug who’s unafraid of digging in deep and wrenching the crap out of the testicles of a Black Muscle God is a truly beautiful thing to behold!
“Now you know!”
“Now you know! You need balls to be in my ring!” Tidus snarls, going to town on crushing, bashing, and in anyway possible abusing Darius’ package. The gentleman bodybuilder endures an ocean of pain, withstanding the ball torture for days in order to take advantage of every moment that Tidus lets up for even an instant on holding the big man down by his balls. He battles back and tosses the stud around again, but again and again he’s dropped like a sack of potatoes by another vicious assault on his testicles.
“The Gas Pedal”
Even a gentleman like Darius can be pushed only so far. With the nonstop assault on his balls sucking the life out of the massive powerhouse, Darius steps, tentatively at first, toward the dark side of the force, beginning to dish out precisely the underhanded, vile, sadistic, unfair treatment that he’s been served.
Two can play at that game!
Turns out that Tidus doesn’t enjoy a ball claw anymore than Darius does! His legs ripped open wide and Darius twisting brutally at the boy’s sac, Tidus screams like a wounded animal. Can you imagine what damage Darius could do if he wasn’t such a gentleman to start with!? All that muscle, all that power, AND a blatant disregard for decorum or fair play!? But Darius is, after all, a heroic figure in white. He doesn’t have nearly the tenacity of viciousness that Tidus has, and the delicately beautiful thug soon enough counters Darius’ below-the-belt offense with another full-on, highly accomplished assault on the gentleman bodybuilder’s balls. It’s Darius that reaches then limits of endurance first, and nasty, beautiful Tidus holds on with a vice grip until the Black Muscle God is crushed and helpless.
Darius is just so much tortured muscle once he’s been milked dry.
“You ever wonder what it’s like to get fucked by an elephant!?” Tidus screams at Darius as the tortured bodybuilder writhes in agony. Yeah, that quote got my attention, too. Tidus needs to demonstrate what that’s like, and I for one, suspect he’s got what it takes. But he does not, sadly, actually shoe Darius what it’s like to get fucked by an elephant in a literal sense. He just fucks him over metaphorically, turning the mountain of muscles into a quivering mass of helplessness, wide open for any nasty device of torture and humiliation that lovely Tidus wants to try out on him.
Darius’ ass is phenomenal!
“Any balls that step into this ring that aren’t mine leave badly damaged,” Tidus explains, brutalizing the gentleman bodybuilder until (and just a little beyond the point that) Darius literally has nothing left to defend himself. Darius venture into MDW territory lends the operation a definite class that I’m thrilled to see. He’s every bit as stunningly hot and sculpted as ever, and his carefully contained and controlled approach to the ring makes for such an explosive mix with the balls-out free-for-all that MDW so frequently devolves into. And as for Tidus… fuck. Yes. Get this stud out of the mesh girdle and into my dreams, preferably slathered in baby oil and ready to celebrate a no-holds-barred victory by showing some lucky, lucky bastard exactly what it feels like to get fucked by an elephant!
November was another blisteringly hot month for homoerotic wrestling. You can’t swing a cat without smacking into yet another extremely entertaining new entry into the catalog of heart pumping homoerotic wrestling gems. So many of my longtime favorite infatuations showed up in November to vie for our attention and adoration! The sheer number of former homoerotic wrestlers of the month and overall favorite homoerotic wrestlers that I’ve lauded in the past that are back in new action in November is astounding! It’s an auspicious month for new releases, and I feel like I’m being disloyal to so many perennial favorites in order to just pick out one new homoerotic wrestler of the month. But I can’t deny it. There’s one wrestler who’s work last month held me down, smothered me with sexiness, and knocked me out like a light with the very top notch of homoerotic wrestling talent. Not only did this dreamboat of a wrestling hunk own the competition in November new releases, he managed to unseat long-standing favorite homoerotic wrestler Lon Dumont for to claim the crown as reigning wrestling stud overall. Sit back and get ready for an avalanche of superlatives, because there’s no exaggerating how entirely I was owned by new homoerotic wrestler of the month and brand new overall favorite homoerotic wrestler…
Kid Karisma decimates every dimple and bulge of painfully pretty Pete Sharp.
Kid Karisma’s Wrestler Spotlight at BG East is like the most romantic homoerotic wrestling date imaginable. It starts playfully, as he smirks and taunts one of the prettiest pieces of wrestling meat in competition today, Pete Sharp. Pretty Pete is far too big and strong for this to be a cake walk, and you can tell KK would have it no other way. Every jab, every clinch, every breath-stealing squeeze that Pete works in on the red-headed stud puppy merely exponentiates Kid Karisma’s glee in battling back, beating him down, and making that drop dead gorgeous face on the goldenboy screw up into humiliated agony. Pete’s humungous, gargantuan, titanic (I warned you about superlatives!) package nearly steals the show, but Kid Karisma will not be upstaged. His victory is sweet as honey (which I wouldn’t mind licking off of either/both of these stud’s bodies, BTW), and KK offers a sportsmanly hand up and slap on the hotly muscled back of the blue-eyed rookie as they stroll from the gazebo, full of mutual respect.
Two of the hottest, muscled asses locked in a wrestling embrace, coated in sweat, turning the heat way, way up!
Our fantastically sexy homoerotic wrestling date with Kid Karisma retires from the great outdoors to the more private surroundings of the BG East ring room in Florida, where he meets what has to be one of the top 2 most devastatingly dangerous challenges of his wrestling career: Dev Michaels. The erotic tension in this match has me dizzy within about 2.8 seconds as these two notorious heels stare one another down in the middle of the ring. KK looks momentarily taken aback by the sheer size of his mountain of an opponent (not to mention the disconcerting leopard print trunks on him), but Kid Karisma is never short on an ego jabbing taunt. In this case, he implies that Dev is too old to hang with the new generation of muscle and power at BG East.
Dev Michaels tortures Kid Karisma, displaying KK’s perfectly muscled vulnerability to perfection.
Kid Karisma’s ring match with Dev Michael’s is one of the juiciest, tastiest, most aesthetically pleasing matches I’ve ever seen (see my aforementioned caution regarding superlatives). I have to confess that I expected Kid Karisma to get handily outmuscled and tossed around by his much, much bigger beast of an opponent. And, sure, Dev does that, but Kid Karisma blows my mind by dishing out a giant helping of the same dish that Dev serves up. Holy shit, watching KK lift and toss this genetic freak of a physical specimen makes me gasp, hit rewind, and watch it over and over again. You can see a most excellent breakdown of this particular match from Joe at Ringside at Skull Island, but let me just say that although Kid Karisma is not up to the challenge of going toe to toe with the outrageously oversized muscleman in this match, he looks astonishingly sexy as he withers in Dev’s embrace, and most impressively he wrings out more suffering from Dev than just about anyone I think I’ve ever seen. Whereas KK’s match with Pete Sharp was playful, sportsmanly, and undeniably beautiful in an out-in-the-open and under the blue skies sort of way, this ring match with Dev is noticeably hotter, sweatier, and erotically charged as the musclemen brutalize one another, rip each other’s trunks off, and feature a smorgasbord of meaty muscle to savor.
Kid Karisma’s intimate mat match with Gabriel Ross makes me downright feverish.
Honestly, I think that the moment in Kid Karisma’s ring match with Dev where he hoists massive Dev up in a suspended bearhug (that’s right, I said suspended!) and then flings all 200 pounds of the behemoth across the ring like a sack of flour would have easily earned KK the homoerotic wrestler of the month title. Well, that and his world class, award winning ass hanging in Dev’s suspended bearhug, barely thonged and as perfect as an ass can be. But it’s the final matchin Kid Karisma’s Wrestler Spotlight collection that puts me way, way over the top, and not only clinches the monthly title for KK, but catapults him into my reigning overall favorite homoerotic wrestler. If KK’s ring match with Dev is the more private, erotically charged moment in our date with the red-headed phenom, his mat match with Gabriel Ross is succulently sensuous, intensely intimate, and erotically explosive.
Kid Karisma pins Gabriel Ross in the best way possible.
These two fucking want each other like crazy from the moment they stroll into the intimate quarters of the BG East mat room. They cannot keep their hands off each other, alternating back and forth between manhandling each other in intensely painful wrestling holds and then lustfully stroking, squeezing, and tasting one another’s fantastically matched physiques. Gabrial Ross is unbelievably rebuilt since his early days in the business, and he makes Kid Karisma suffer long and hard whenever the karismatic one falls into the trap of having anything and everything stuck in the beartrap of Gabriel’s thighs. Where KK’s ring match with Dev was punctuated with exclamation points and body slams and high impact brutality, this mat match is incredibly methodical, sensual, every hold milking their muscled bodies for every ounce of agony and sweat. The pace quickens and then slows like two lovers delighting in one another’s bodies as they hurtle headlong toward inevitable climax. They compete for domination, true, but the hungry lust they share keeps sneaking to the surface, a hard won submission followed by a slow, sexy, muscle worshipping schoolboy pin.
This is heading in one, and only one direction!
This is one of those matches that it occurs to me about halfway through that my suspense is not for who will “win” (though these two are surprisingly evenly matched in strength and mat skill). But it’s incredibly suspenseful, nonetheless, because I’m waiting in breathless anticipation for when their lust will overcome their ability to keep wrestling. They draw out the foreplay like yogi masters, nearly making me hate them before then end, but all is forgiven when one of them squeezes out the final victory with a fistful of testicles and the two sweat soaked, beautiful, incredibly sexy battlers go at nothing but sucking face and stroking bodies. This is one of the most erotic homoerotic wrestling matches I’ve seen in a long time, and Kid Karisma has me locked up nice and tight as undeniably and fanatically adoring him more than all others these days.
My new Homoerotic Wrestler of the Month AND newly crowned reigning Favorite Homoerotic Wrestler: Kid Karisma.
In a field of extremely stiff (and bulging) competition, Kid Karisma held my attention with a vice grip. He’s delivering something that I just don’t think anyone else in the business is serving these days, turning the heat way, way up and turning me into an unabashed fanatic for the karismatic one.
Those who know me know I have a peculiar infatuation for newsmen. I subscribe to the school of thought that the news-entertainment industry has long ago been veering steadily toward requiring their headliners to be hot hunks. The jump from beefcake eye candy behind the news desk to homoerotic wrestling hunks in my imagination is a short one. My first homoerotic wrestling fiction charted the narrative of 8 network news studs in a beach wrestling reality television bonanza. In fact, THE first match I wrote starred my constant newsboy infatuation #1, Chris Cuomo, doing battle with his bromantic weatherman colleague, Sam Champion. This was before Sam was out of the public closet, but that didn’t stop me from writing with certainty Sam’s undisguised workplace crush on the big , muscled, beautiful Italian. In that match, Sam stuns Chris by going vicious and dirty first, but the bulging newsreader battled back, furiously crushing Sam’s chest in a breath stealing body scissors that left the Champ unable to submit until the Italian Stallion finally tired enough to let an ounce of air back into the weatherman’s lungs. With no love left between the colleagues, Sam tried to double cross Chris in the team wrestle free-for-all. The weatherman successfully sleepered Richard Engel out of the competition, and nearly did the same to big, too beautiful to stay in news Rob Marciano. But big, bad Rob had other plans in mind, knocking the Champ out cold with one bare fisted punch to the face.
Anyway, Sam Champion’s real life narrative started to turn almost as hot as I imagined him in my wrestling fiction. He came out, married his swelteringly hot Brazilian bon-bon, and honeymooned on the beach, in speedos, lingering long for the cameras to snap just hoe hot and beefy we always knew Sam to be. And with that slice of heaven in his corner, I have to wonder of the Champ might need a resurgence in the News Division in my homoerotic wrestling imagination!
And two years after his workplace crush, Chris Cuomo, flexed his guns in Sam’s face and then left GMA for good, Sam has announced that he’s also out the door to headline The Weather Channel. The eye candy left at GMA is getting pretty sparse. Unless the quickly promote Gio Benitez and Matt Gutman to shirtless anchors pronto, I predict a precipitous fall in GMAs ratings. Cause the only thing that let’s me digest 2 full hours of mot pruning newsishness is hot hunks serving it up.
Honestly, British Olympic diver and nearly universal masturbation fantasy Tom Daley’s coming out as a guy dating a guy will not in any substantial way influence my life. It’s not like I, or any of hundreds of thousands of gay men, were refraining from having Tom star in our lusty, speedo clad, speedo stripped, soaking wet erotic imaginations. I appreciate his explicit interest in this not being a big deal. Of course, there are a couple ways to read that. 1) He’s such a postmodern child of the millennium that honestly and intuitively rejects both gender and sexuality binaries as fundamentally patriarchal and of disintegrating salience, or 2) He’d rather skip the social consequences of being publicly known as a guy who likes (among other things, apparently), cock. Whatever.
During the London Olympics, I imagined that not only did Tom like cock, but he also got off on hot, horny homoerotic wrestling. His opening round erotic wrestling match in my imagination pitted him against the awesome (also real life mo) Aussie Matt Mitchum. Cute as a a button, Tom’s minuscule speedos tented impressively as he tried to snap the Aussie’s neck in a long, sweet, crowd pleasing standing headscissors. Tom “the Bomb’s” pouch was stained darkly and liberally as he swiveled his hips, flexed his rippled abs, and flashed that adorable babyface grin at the hometown fans. It was all looking so great for the boy wonder, until Mattie turned the tables, ripped off Tom’s speedo, and wrapped both hands around the British pinup boy’s lovely shaft. Already worked up to a favors pitch by his enjoyment of owning the advantage over his opponent moments earlier, the achingly young pretty boy almost instantly erupted all over his chest. The subsequent ball claw was just icing on the cake. Tom was over and done for, screaming his submission and disappointing the horrified hometown fans. He did redeem himself just a bit when the Aussie kept working his rod post victory, until the boy wonder pumped out a rapid fire second emission. Seriously now, who could stay upset in that rockin’ bod, double barreled cock, and puppy dog eyes for long?
Tom’s fate as a homoerotic wrestler in my imagination took a turn for the better when he partnered with fellow teen babyface Brit diver, Chris Mears. The hometown heroes stayed above the fray in the four way tag team competion until most of the other competitors had already done damage to one another. Tom took drool-worthy Chinese diver Kai Qin out of the match with his patented power bomb. When Matt Mitchum tagged into the action again, hungry for beating more corporal satisfaction from Tom, he once again ripped Daley’s speedo off (damn, the Aussie had Tom’s number!). Matt brutalized the wonder boy with a vicious clothesline. It was looking like an adolescent mugging again, until Tom’s partner couldn’t stand it any longer, and they delivered a mouthwatering double team. Tom earned jack off vengeance, before sleepering the Aussie out cold and then driving home the point with his rod shoved into Matt’s slack mouth as Tom counted out a 3 count on the sleeping beauty. Unfortunately for the Brit boys, they forgot there was one final opponent left in this 4-way tag team match. Before they realized what was happening, Mexican hunk Yahel Castillo Huerta sleepered out Chris with a figure-4 and, at the same time, Tom with a traditional sleeper. It was just so close for the prettiest pair of teenage wet dreams in the Olympics!
So, long story to say that the sexuality of real life Tom Daley won’t have much impact on me at all, unless he wants a date. Short of that, he can love, fuck, or marry whoever he wants as far as I’m concerned. But if he’s got any luck at all, his boyfriend is a hardbodied homoerotic wrestling fanatic who will make my dreams come true for Tom, preferably replaying that homoerotic wrestling competition from my imagination. And if not…whatever. He’s got a permanent place on my podium of homoerotic wrestling fantasy men.
Sidelineland 