Completing what appears to be my trilogy of posts on my taste for mature beef, I have to slap down some enthusiasm for getting to enjoy homoerotic wrestling match starring long-time favorite wrestler around these parts, Mitch Colby.
Joe has already done the heavy lifting in introducing you to the Catchweight 6 match featuring magnificently muscled Mitch swatting down irritatingly cocky Billy Lodi. I’ll just paint in around the edges a little where my long-standing Mitch-lust demands that I send up a little worship. First, there’s the little tidbit that Mitch tends bar where his wrestling fans seek him out. Why am I cursed to live in the wrong geographical location to appropriately stalk the homoerotic wrestling icons that command so much of my lustful attention!? The fact that Billy tracked him down to challenge the bare chested beauty behind the bar to a wrestling match (victory to be accepted in lieu of the photo ID Billy seems to have lost when Mitch tries to card him) titillates me no end. The motif of stumbling across a homoerotic wrestling fantasyman “in real life” is a bit that I could enjoy a lot more of.
Billy gets in a dig about Mitch looking older in person than he does in his wresting matches. He refers to him as “Mitch the Bitch,” clearly needling the headliner hunk with the taunting moniker that Cage Thunder has been spreading everywhere. If Billy weren’t lapping up the drool dripping from his luscious lower lip as he stares at Mitch’s phenomenal physique, I’d say the kid was delusional. But clearly the punk is just trying to weasel his way under Mitch’s skin in order to get mat time with the muscle hunk. It works. Of course it works. This is a BG East prime time wrestling release. It doesn’t take long for this story to pick up after Mitch’s shift at the bar is over and Billy comes a knocking.
There’s the catchweight quality to the story telling that speaks for itself. Guys particularly into bigger guys and smaller guys doing battle should line up to watch this on automatic repeat, because the contrasts between Billy and Mitch are visually stunning. Mitch is massive, thickly muscled, bronzed, ripped off of a fitness magazine cover. Billy is lean, pale, certainly fit but with little visible muscle tone, looking like one of the obnoxious kids at the skateboard park that I so despise. It takes about 15 seconds before the homoerotic wrestling subtext becomes just the text. Billy sinks his fingers deep in Mitch’s mountainous pecs, and the bartender does the same to Billy’s sweet little ass (which Mitch can’t help but notice has less mass than Mitch’s pecs). Mitch commandingly steals a kiss. Billy is clearly put off his guard with the stunning hunk sucking his face. Mitch makes him pay, however, transitioning to a gasping, squirming, helpless bearhug and hoists the kid way up off the floor and sucks the air from his lungs. First hold of the match: Billy concedes with his face buried in Mitch’s chest. Oh hell, yes.
Billy’s fans will not be surprised that he is more than ready and able to take cheap shots at Mitch’s balls to having a fighting chance against the ripped muscle stud. Frankly, I think Mitch isn’t so surprised either. Nor does he work all that hard to stay out of danger’s way. I think Mitch very well may nurse a little fetish for getting his balls bashed, because every time Billy does it, the look on Mitch’s face is a cross somewhere between horror and orgasm. And he keeps fighting back harder, locking lips that much more furiously on the ballsy lightweight.
Because Mitch is a classy dude, he refrains from clawing the living fuck out of Billy’s balls… until Billy goes for his first low blow. Unleash Mitch, 70 pounds heavier and without feeling compelled to fight fair?! Oh, fuck, yes.
I think I’d like to wallpaper my bedroom with all of the stills of Mitch crushing all of his opponents’ skulls between his massive, flexed, gorgeous thighs. It wouldn’t be a Mitch match without it, nor would it be everything I’ve come to expect and be entranced by if Mitch didn’t look like he could easily whip out his cock and explode all over Billy’s head because this hold turns him on so hard. And I don’t think I’m just projecting.
Billy is outmuscled and out classed from start to finish, but the running question between the two battlers is why did Mitch concede to this match? Why did he invite him over? And why was Billy, doomed from the start, so eager to hustle his way inside Mitch’s abode? It’s not really much of a mystery at any point, really, but when Mitch hoists the punk over one massive, bulging shoulder and strolls into the bedroom smacking his chops, whatever tension there was with Billy at the bar, resenting being carded, calling Mitch “old,” referring to him as “Mitch the Bitch,” it’s all released, like me, as the boys turn the corner and turn down the sheets.
What gets me, after I clean myself up a little, is that this is now the second young stud to work Mitch into a lather by taunting him with the nickname Cage Thunder has given him, “Bitch Colby.” Read Cage’s blog and you’ll see reference after reference disparaging Mitch for beating up little guys, but the thing is these little guys are taking their cues, begging for a session with the muscle hunk, using Cage Thunder’s insults. When, oh when is the raging homoerotic wrestling tension between Mitch and Cage Thunder going to come to a head?! And who do I need to blow to get to see that golden moment live!?