I always feel like I need to apologize to pretty Pete Sharp’s baby blue eyes, his full lips, his sculpted torso, and his gorgeous ass. Because I struggle to tear my eyes away from, much less write much about anything other than that magnificent, mountainous, mouthwatering, award-winning Best Bulge of 2014.

His ring gear in his match again Lon Dumont (same he wore against Braden in Jobberpaloozer 13) does not accentuate his gargantuan package as much as his mat gear does. However, I have a hard time imagining what gear could manage to disguise that massive ballast he’s stowing in the front of his trunks.

Pete is wild card, it seems to me.  He’s been bested more than he’s come out on top in his young career with BG East, but at no point has he ever failed to earn respect. His natural habitat seems to me to be on the mats. He seems more settled inside that flawless skin of his when he’s barefoot. There’s a shade more uprightness about his bearing in boots and inside the ring.  Lon seems to be certain that he’s got the bronzed god’s number, alluding to some tag team collaboration they’ve had somewhere that went terribly awry (read: they lost, and Lon is convinced it was the rookie’s fault). Lon promises to take the dazzlingly beautiful hunk back to first grade, reviewing the basics of professional wrestling for the aspiring grappler. He promises to exact just a little retribution for the humiliation of being yoked to Pete’s rookie mistakes in some indy pro tag team match I’m guessing we will never see. But best of all, Lon promises that nothing short of total submission will count in this match. In other words, these two shining, gorgeous specimens of muscle are in a forced-to-flex match!

All of that beauty, the dreamy eyes, the tasteful ink, the pumped and glistening muscles seem to inevitably make opponents discount pretty Pete Sharp from the start. And it’s true, looking that pretty is frequently a one-way ticket to an ass-kicking in these parts. But Lon discovers instantly that the ass kicking is a two way street on this fine day, and big, powerful, blindly beautiful Pete goes full throttle all over the lightweight bodybuilder.

Lon is incensed.  I love that moment when an opponent nudges Lon over the edge of calm, rational calculation. He morphs from pedantic college professor into vile, heartless heel in the blink of an eye. And holy fuck, does he go to town on pretty Pete. I think Lon has his BG East fans in mind as he manages to twist and rip and pry apart Pete’s phenomenal physique at all the right angles. He bends him over backward, threatening to rip the rookie’s head off, and not accidentally showing off that fan favorite huge package along the way.  He repeatedly ties the golden hunk up in the ropes, torturing the beautiful kid like a vision of St. Sebastian.

And Pete sells the suffering sweetly.  I could almost feel sorry for the battered hunk… if I weren’t so damned turned on by the sight of him so bashed and controlled so completely. True to his word, Lon manages to zero out the advantages that pretty Pete has in sheer size and raw strength. I confess to having a warm and moist spot for a smaller opponent totally dominating a big, ripped, superhero-looking stud like Pete.

Thing is, Pete’s a fighter. There’s no point at which you should count him out until the camera turns off, because he keeps coming back. He keeps upending the veteran heel. He keeps defying him, refusing to be crushed.  And out of nowhere, he puts my long-time infatuation on his shoulders and pounds out a stunning 3-count.

Pete’s bronzed muscles soaked in sweat are dizzying. His astonishing refusal to play the cowed rookie is breathtaking. And while, sure, watching Lon ride him like a bronco is at the top of my list of favorite things, I’m loving the suspense that these two weave, earning begrudging respect from one another and total, slack jawed adoration from me.

Now let’s put Pete back into his mat gear!