I killed off my Twitter account. It’s not like I was really thrilled with the vibe there for quite some time, but shit got super creepy, super fast there, when a megalomaniac rich boy decided to make it his vanity project. On the one hand, I had this moment of anticipatory grief when I was about to pull the trigger. There were over 3,000 people following the account. On the other hand, I think I actually interacted in a meaningful way with about 20 of them on any regular basis.
So I’ve doubled down on other forms of social media, and will be trying to post more regularly on Instagram and Mastodon, in case there are folks interested in the pithy, abbreviated versions of my musings. As a treat, I’m sharing some new, yet-to-be published 3D render art by my friend AR (with his permission, of course), teasing the 6,000 or so homoerotic wrestling fiction stories we’ve been percolating on for the past 5 months. My guess is that not all of them will ever really come out the other end as finished products, but we already have quite a few complete, illustrated, DEVASTATINGLY hot, illustrated homoerotic wrestling stories in the can to share in the coming year. And even the ones that may not turn into finished products have been super fun to story board with AR.
One set of the hottest stories we’ve been working on is a collection of BG East-inspired matches. AR has used pure sorcery to conjure up a lovingly constructed set based on the original BG East ring room, and damn it all, if I didn’t get transformed into a smoking hot homoerotic wrestler to take on my favorites. It blows my mind every time I see it. One of the delightful side effects of collaborating on fiction and art with him, has been this amazing opportunity to compare detailed notes about all things homoerotic wrestling, and especially BG East. The ways in which our passion for the genre overlaps and diverges is really fascinating. It’s like meeting someone who is crushing on the same guy you are, and comparing notes about all of the ways your infatuations intersect, and being delighted to discover things you enjoy different from one another.
I don’t know if I’ll ever really inhabit social media the same way, or if social media will be the same beast as tech and times and fads change so quickly, and unrestrained capitalism takes a dump on everything innovative and inspiring. But I do hope to have more opportunities to compare notes with fellow fans, to vehemently (but respectfully) disagree, to enthusiastically and passionately agree, and to be pointed in totally new directions that, separately, we might never have discovered. For the subscribers of this blog, I’m grateful for you all your comments, suggestions, and critiques (well, most of the critiques), and believe it or not, I’m not just talking about Scott Williams’ comments. Though, let’s face it, I’m a total sucker for Scott’s comments! And his pecs. But I digress… I’ve held onto this space, even when I’ve gone on extended hiatus from posting, because it’s largely an opportunity for me to explore my passions without moderation. That, in itself, has been such an amazing pathway to encounter others saying things like, “I thought I was the only one!” If reduced to 200 characters or moderated by the sensibilities of heteronormative spaces, I doubt I’d ever have had the pleasure of meeting hundreds of passion homoerotic wrestling fans to argue over things like whether crotches should be shaved, and whether Austin Cooper is sexier as a babyface jobber or a heel (<– just kidding about that last one; there’s NO question Dr. Cooper the heel is way, way sexier!).
So tune in here for Bard unfiltered. Maybe follow me on Instagram for photo/graphic focused posts, where I’m sure I’ll continue to share more dazzlyingly hot AR art, as well as my own comics, and, if you look close, some pics of me flexing my quads and speculating on whether I could make Scott cry. Or cum. Or both. And for graphics too racy for heteronormative Insta, and for more frequent, brief, unsolicited, completely unnecessary opinions, follow me on Mastodon.
For anyone missing me on Twitter, I am sorry. It’s not you. And, frankly, it’s not me. It’s Elon-fucking-Musk. But thanks for all of the ways that we continue to connect and inspire and provoke and entertain one another, circling our shared passion for homoerotic wrestling!
I bumped into BG East newbie Dante Lesen on Twitter, and, of course, immediately asked him for an interview. To my delight, he agreed on the spot. After my review of his debut match, Rookie Wreckers 3: Dante’s Destruction, we chatted about a wide range of topics, revealing that lovely, long Dante is a whole lot more than just a pretty face!
Bard: Woah, Dante, I watched your match, and I loved it!
Dante: I’m really glad you loved it. Thank you for such a flattering article. I struggled watching my match. Listening to myself make pain noises makes me blush.
Bard: You’re welcome, but there was no flattery involved! And like you, I also experience an involuntary rush of blood flow witnessing you suffer so hotly! I wasn’t blushing, though. I hope you had enough of a good time that we get to see you again in a future match!
Dante: There are five other matches that are yet to be released, I’m hoping to come back for more.
Bard: Yay! No one scared you off then? Masked Menace was pretty brutal on your balls!
Dante: He was actually my last match on that trip. They definitely didn’t scare me off. I am looking forward to more whenever they’ll have me.
Bard: Did you get some wrestling tutorials? You mentioned to me earlier that you were new to the homoerotic wrestling community, right?
Dante: They did teach me a lot! I have a lot of combat and martial arts experience, so I’m no stranger to fighting. But pro wrestling is still new to me.
Bard: Fantastic to hear about your experience! Did I read your pec tat correctly, the “Cry Havoc” quote from Marc Antony in Julius Caesar?
Dante: You most definitely did, “cry havoc and release the dogs of war.” Though I think the actual quote is “let slip the dogs of war.” I got it years ago.
Bard: It feels like a nice mantra for homoerotic wrestling! Does it have special meaning to you?
Dante: It’s the closest thing to a military tattoo I’ll ever get, eight years in the Marine Corps.
Bard: Holy fuck! Seriously? What was that experience like? And did you join when you were 11 [laughing]?!
Dante: I enlisted when I was 17. It was some of my best and worst moments in my life.
Bard: You look like a baby! That blows my mind you’re a veteran with eight years of service!
Dante: I’m 29, most people think I am much younger.
Bard: I’m definitely with most people! So, military fetish porn is totally true to life, right [laughing]? So, I’ve been stalking… I mean, casually perusing your hot body in your Twitter, and damn, you’re showing it off so beautifully! Can you tell me a bit about your work as a professional hottie?
Dante: I can’t say there is anything really professional about it. The only reason I started an OnlyFans and soon a JFF was because my friend said “why post for free when you can make some extra spending money.” Otherwise I’ve just been having fun with it.
Bard: It looks like you’re having a lot of fun! And that body of yours is so beautiful. Damn. What’s been the response to your extra spending money hobby?
Dante: It’s been decent, I don’t have to worry each month if I want to buy a book or two
Bard: Nice! I’m glad to hear it. What do you read?
Dante: I have a little over 490 books. I read everything from fiction to fantasy and everything in between.
Bard: Holy fuck, are you even real? That body, that face, and you’re an avid reader?! What’s a recent read you’d recommend?
Dante: Depends on what you’d like to read. Currently, I’m reading a fantasy saga by L.E. Modesitt, Jr., TheSaga of Recluce.
Bard: I do like fantasy, and I’m making a note of that! I’m currently finishing re-reading Interview with the Vampire. I recently finished a cute gay YA romance, What If It’s Us.
Dante: If you want an amazing YA fantasy duology, I would recommend All the Stars and Teeth, and All the Tides of Fate by Adalyn Grace
Bard: Thanks! I will totally queue those up as well! Since you mentioned being new to the homoerotic pro wrestling scene, what’s your impression of it so far?
Dante: I love it, I first realized I was attracted to men when I was eight after watching WWE. So being able to finally act on those images in my head has been amazing.
Bard: So many of us share that origin story of watching pro wrestling growing up, and it dawning on us, “damn, that turns me on!” How did BGE find you?
Dante: I found them, there were a few of their wrestlers that I started talking to.
Bard: Excellent! I know exactly which of the BGE staff will find you and break your balls if you disclose anything about any unreleased matches you were in. But I’m wondering if you can tell me about any wrestlers you had a connection with behind the scenes?
Dante: Most of them were really friendly, I had a lot of fun conversations with everyone who was present. A lot of stories and past experiences were shared and fun to listen to, too.
Bard: Very obliquely and diplomatically put! I love it.
Dante: I’ve been taught to be very tactful growing up.
Bard: You’re a gentleman! Dude, gentleman get trounced in homoerotic pro wrestling [laughing]! What’s your favorite wrestling hold?
Dante: As far as favorite holds, I love being put in camel clutch, Boston crab, and schoolboy pin, where they pull my face into their crotch.
Bard: Those are some seriously sexy, painful holds. I notice you’re on the receiving end of them, as you describe them. Do you consider yourself a jobber?
Dante: I do consider myself a jobber, for now at least. I still have to work on my disassociation problems before considering going full heel.
Bard: Oh, now you have to say more about needing to dissociate before you can heel.
Dante: I’ve been trained to kill my opponents as quickly as possible. If I have a PTSD episode that triggers me to not realize who is fighting me, I could seriously hurt or kill somebody. So I have to keep myself in check, which means I have to learn to take the hits and get comfortable with being in the ring.
Bard: Holy shit, I had never thought of that. That makes total sense to me. Being on the receiving end doesn’t have that potential triggering effect?
Dante: It does, but I am in far better control than if my mind slips while I’m performing a technique. If I’m reacting, it gives me a chance to come-to, rather than if I’m initiating the action.
Bard: Fascinating! I respect the hell out of the fact that you’re exploring all of this, and doing it in front of a camera with a lot of us watching and being turned on by it. You mentioned earlier that it makes you blush listening to your sounds of suffering in your debut match. What was it like to watch yourself get worked over?
Dante: It was hot to watch me get worked over. I was embarrassed because I had to extremely exaggerate the noises. I have a very high pain tolerance, most of the holds never actually hurt me.
Bard: Oh, damn, now that sounds like total heel bait [laughing]! You sold your suffering awfully convincingly to me, at least. What’s the effect on you of watching yourself being humiliated? Does that humiliation angle turn your crank?
Dante: Humiliation doesn’t do anything for me. It’s submitting and feeling the body contact that gets me going.
Bard: Fascinating! Like I mentioned in my review, there was something stunning about the contrasts between your body and Masked Menace. You looked like a giant! Are there certain type of bodies or characteristics you’re into when you’re gearing up for body contact and getting made to submit?
Dante: Is the question focused for filming or behind closed doors?
Bard: You can go either direction. I am curious about you, though. Whatever you’re comfortable with.
Dante: As for filming, I can work with almost anyone, so long as they are respectful and understanding. In my personal life, I enjoy mental stimulation and emotional connection. Being fit doesn’t hurt, but it’s not exactly a top priority for me. A level of self confidence and a charming wit is nice.
Bard: That’s cool. I could see you needing someone with a quick wit, just based on this conversation. What else would you like gay wrestling fans to know about you, as we grow infatuated with you as a BGE rookie?
Dante: I’m a Jack of all trades, or a self proclaimed one, at least. So I enjoy learning and trying new things. It’ll be likely that you’ll see me in many unique situations, since I’m more than willing to try anything that peaks my interest.
Bard: Such a hot tease! I’m looking forward to it. And can I offer some free advice? Like, please, please make sure to drop into conversation with Kid Vicious and Kayden Keller and Jonny Firestorm the fact that you have a super high tolerance for pain and sometimes have to exaggerate your reactions because you aren’t hurting enough? Definitely, definitely make sure to mention that to those guys [laughing]!
Dante: Kayden Keller and Jonny Firestorm were at the filming, so two of them know already.I’ll definitely try and reach out to Kid Vicious.
Bard: Awesome. I would think they’d enjoy the challenge! Thanks so much for chatting with me and giving us a glimpse of the man behind the blushing moans.
Another hot young rookie!? Hell, yes, welcome to BG East, Dante Lesen! The titular rookie in Rookie Wreckers 3: Dante’s Destruction grabbed my attention in the marketing images and match description, and talking about grabbing something? Fuck, rookie…
The contrasts in this match are spectacularly stunning. On the one hand, you’ve got veteran masked heel, Masked Menace. BG East reports that he’s 5’5 and 170 lbs, but I think both of those numbers may be exaggerated. At least, when 6’3 and 180 lbs of Dante shows up, holy shit, Menace looks fucking tiny! I mean, he’s got sweet, mature muscle, and that sexy hairy chest looks both hot and intimidating. He’s flexing, his signature, ominous silence filling the mat room, when Dante strolls in and takes a 360 degree tour, stroking and admiring Menace’s muscles. And fuuuuck, Dante looks like the leaning tower of Pisa that just might fall over and crush him at any moment. Who is this towering, babyfaced newbie, and did he come to play? “Nice,” Dante whispers his approval, breathlessly. “Nice!” I say.
Dangling such a long, lean, gorgeous cut of veal in front of a legendary heel like Masked Menace is a formula for exquisite destruction. Within seconds, Dante is nursing his bashed balls and getting a mouthful of Masked Menace in a stunningly sculpted face-to-crotch standing headscissors that works so, so beautifully because of their height difference. The babyface newbie is getting swarmed and swamped ruthlessly, when the villain smashes his knee into Dante’s long, lean back and chokes him from behind. Fuck, fuck, that’s sexy!
It’s in the title, so I don’t feel like it’s too much of a spoiler to say lovely Dante gets squashed like a bug. This is Masked Menace, so it also should come as no surprise that Dante’s rookie balls get crushed to a pulp a thousand different ways. And fuck, he may be a rookie, but the boy knows how to suffer like a champ! Damn, watching him writhe and kick and squirm and whimper and scre-eeeam is seriously moving. When the extra-tall red singlet gets peeled off him forcibly, I’m also way, way moved by his washboard abs and his juicy, juicy ass suction packed into American flag briefs.
There are lots of sweet, sweet moments to admire, but let me just linger on the stunning art that is 6’3 Dante broken in half in Masked Menace’s OTK backbreaker. Holy fuck, Dante is weeping, as his big, star-spangled bulge quivers at the apex of his arching body. Menace throttles his balls relentlessly, hungrily, as Dante screams and kicks his mile long legs uselessly. Fuck, he’s gorgeous as HELL getting the warmest… nay, hottest welcome a rookie’s ever had!
Again, I say, welcome to BG East, Dante! I hope you were able to pick up the pieces and sign up for more to come. I promise, it gets better! :::::fingers crossed behind my back::::
Crabcraft commented a few weeks ago that he thinks Jason Aleqsander may be “the new Eli Black.” Fuck, I’ve been unable to get that out of my head, ever since. It says something about the iconic role that Eli built for us, that he’s the point of reference/comparison for a super sexy new rookie. But when it comes to being saddled with buzz to be the heir apparent to Eli Black? Hmmmm.
So, to start with, let me say that I was just a little shocked by how much Jason’s debut match against Seon Cruz rocked me. I mean, I tucked in to Ring Rookies 7, obviously expecting something good. I’d seen Seon before, and his body is just fucking stunning. And I’d seen stills of Jason, and was super excited to see if he’s as sexy in live action as he is in still frame. But “ring rookies” doesn’t exactly scream “top notch wrestling.” But fuck it all, if I didn’t go along for the ride and sucked in the suspense to the very final drop!
Before I directly speak to whether I think Jason is the new Eli Black, I just want to appreciate him on his own terms. Fuck. His. Body! I mean, he’s pretty in his pictures. I’d give him a tongue bath for just standing still. But when the boys are doing a SENSATIONAL alternate take on the traditional pose down, by showing off how acrobatic their lovely, lean bodies can be, Jason suddenly looks up at the ceiling, judging it’s height, and then, standing flat footed in the middle of the ring, does a PERFECT standing back tuck. Have I mentioned before that I was a college cheerleader? Probably not. Anyway, fuck that standing back tuck instantly made me reevaluate my first impressions of young, hot, Jason/George. The back tuck has the same effect on Seon, who suddenly realizes he’s just been completely outclassed as an acrobat. In response, the relative-veteran ring rookie clotheslines Jason, nearly taking that really, really, really pretty head right off his neck.
Seon admires Jason’s smoking hot bod, and both of them get extra credit from me for that fact. “You’ve got an all right body, all give you that,” he acknowledges, choking him a front facelock. “You’ve got some pretty good legs, pretty beefy,” he smirks, as he’s fucking up Jason’s acrobatic left knee and ankle in a nasty leglock. “You’ve got a good body, I think we might as well show it off a bit,” Seon says, bending him backward in a dragon sleeper, and doing just that. Seon cements his role as our champion, though (in addition to the purple nail polish), by locking down on a foldover pin, slapping Jason’s hot ass, and announcing, “Let’s give them something to see!”
The premise for this match is hilariously clever. For the first half of this match (to the minute) Seon, in shiny, purple, butt-hugging long shorts, beats the living SHIT out of Jason/George, who’s wearing shamrock green long shorts. And fuck, Jason suffers swwweetly! Fuck, he gets rocked and rolled, and lovely Jason sells it like a seasoned veteran. Seon gets understandably cocky. He hangs Jason in the corner, battered and sucked dry, and steps back and peels off his trunks, leaving him in green briefs.
“Funny, I heard you like to do some of that stuff,” Jason/George says, suddenly catching a second wind with a sly, knowing smile. “So I came a little prepared, myself,” he announces, stripping out of his green trunks, revealing purple briefs molded to his sensational ass. Fuck. He throws his trunks in Seon’s face, using the distraction to clothesline Seon flat on his back.
Apparently, there’s some seriously magic mojo to the color purple. Now flipping color schemes, Jason/George opens up a can of whoop ass on Seon that’s super, super satisfying! He mounts him in a schoolboy pin and slams his head into the mat over and over. “Are you feeling better in green,” he asks, shoving his crotch in Seon’s face. “Is that color treating you well?” He sucks him up in headscissors and an armbar, threatening to snap that long, lean arm of Seon’s off at the elbow. Battering him in a corner, he suddenly climbs up the ropes and monkey flips Seon flying all the way across the ring (fuck!).
The final three minutes flip back and forth wildly. Seon runs rough shod, victory in his grasp with Jason’s head stuck nice and tight in standing scissors. He hoists him up off his feet, preparing to slam his back to the mat, but acrobatic Jason snaps his sexy-as-fuck legs around Seon’s head, throws his weight to the side, and pulls off a shocking flying headcissors! I mean… fuck! These are fucking rookies?
All right, back to my original question. I’m going to say, no, Jason is NOT the new Eli Black, for a whole host of reasons, but mostly because Jason’s got some sensational charisma and ring presence all his own. Like Eli, Jason’s shown up with some seriously sensational skills and a some mysterious backstory to explain that cocky back tuck. But I don’t think of Eli as an acrobat, really, and I think Jason’s got a story to tell that could play out entirely differently than Eli’s!
There’s a rule in homoerotic wrestling. You have to pay for looking too pretty. Of course, I think there are a handful of exceptions. Like, Kid Karisma is, honestly, too pretty, and he never has to pay. But Kip Sorell is NO Kid Karisma, and holy shit, does he pay for looking so ridiculously, almost impossibly pretty! In the new release from Jonny Firestorm, fuck, does Aryx Quinn make Kip pay hard!
Kip comes to, with his wrists tied behind him, lashing him to the corner post. “Wakey, wakey, little one,” Aryx Quinn says, grabbing Kip by the hair and prying his shocked face upward. The look of terror on Kip’s face, eyes wide in panic, is seriously juicy! I’m perplexed about the backstory of this match, but Aryx alludes to Kip’s consent later in the match: “You are so stupid for agreeing to the terms of a match like this!” Fuck, how to begin to describe what it means when Aryx says, “a match like this…”
Okay, so I’ve got to start by saying this is a squash. If you have even passing familiarity with Aryx’ wrestling work and with Kip’s wrestling work, this will not surprise you. I’d say this match is about terror, more than anything, really. Aryx tortures and taunts in that way that nobody else comes close (well, I can think of one wrestler who I thought matched Aryx in trash talk). And the trash talk is super high stakes. “This is going to be the last place you’ll ever see,” he promises the sputtering muscle boy. Aryx shoves a straw in Kip’s face and asks, “Do you know what this is for? It’s for eating. Because every meal you eat after today, you’re going to be eating through a fucking straw, if you don’t do what I say!” Aryx keeps fucking with Kip’s panic-ometer, dialing it up until he’s screaming and whimpering and begging like a baby, and then letting him believe, for just a few seconds, it all might be over (spoiler alert: it isn’t).
But there’s another really, really delightful flavor to this match that is sorely missing in far too much homoerotic wrestling: Aryx is fucking INTO Kip’s body! “God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he says at one point, and honestly, I stand up and cheer, because if you step into the ring with Kip Sorell, and you have an ounce of appreciation for male beauty, how could you NOT marvel at him? “You are fucking built solid,” Aryx marvels, as he digs his claws into Kip’s lats and pecs and rips his muscles apart to Kip’s symphony of screams. “You’re pretty,” Aryx says bluntly, and it’s one of the most pristinely authentic moments I’ve seen in homoerotic wrestling. “I like pretty boys,” he says, a half a second before he stomps the living shit out of Kip’s rock hard abs and pitifully helpless balls. “Look at the veins in that chest,” Aryx marvels, clawing the fuck out of Kip’s pecs. “Fuck,” Aryx says, “someone’s been doing some training!” And honestly, I’m talking to the screen like a crazy person, saying that it’s about TIME somebody acknowledged the dazzlying, dizzying, insane hotness of Kip, and the outrageous level of fitness he maintains like some android from the future, where you can see the roadmap of his veins feeding his sculpted, bulging muscles in real time. How could an opponent NOT comment on Kip’s vascularity!? Fuck, Aryx is a truth-teller.
So I’ve caveat emptored that this is a total, start-to-finish squash. Despite that fact, the action takes them all over the ring, as Aryx finds 1,001 ways to threaten to snap, smother, and strangle Kip over the edge of terror, again and again. Highlights for me include the patent-pending Aryx-rack, with the muscled heel bent forward and twist-tying Kip’s spine around his torso. There’s a super, super severe Boston crab that displays both beautiful muscle men to perfection. “I bet I can fold you in half like a deck of cards,” Aryx says, and fuck it all if he doesn’t do exactly that! Holy shit, I think Kip wasn’t quite believing him, until he’s absolutely screaming his submission in terror.
Okay, the final star of this match for me is Aryx’ sweat. Fuck, if you wonder who’s carrying the load in a squash, sit back and watch the sweat literally streaming off of Aryx’ body from about 1/3 of the way into the match to the end. There’s a camel clutch, where the camera angle happens to catch the spectacularly sexy hold silhouetted in front of some harsh studio lights. I’m sure it was an unintentional moment of getting the stagecraft of the lighting inadvertently washing out the foreground. But there’s this magic moment when you can see sweat literally streaming off of Aryx’ face and pouring down on Kip’s twisted body beneath him. Fuck… I know of some serious Aryx Quinn fans who would love to volunteer to squeegee that mat in the aftermath (and save some souvenir bottles of perspiration for themselves).
Kip’s journey from this match to getting tapped by Jonny to be his heel protege in the Bundle 2 feature I reviewed a couple of days ago had to have been an insanely wild ride! I buy Kip begging, pleading, weeping in humiliation, promising Aryx that he absolutely does NOT want to be a pro wrestler. And, damn it all, if I don’t find Kip oddly compelling as a baby heel, emerging from his cocoon, with his new vampire eyes soaking in the sight of Christian Taylor’s gorgeous suffering and wanting a taste for himself. Aryx’ takedown of Kip is in Bundle 1 of Jonny’s Black Friday sale, and the gorgeous 2-on-1 of Jonny walking Kip through the wonders of heeling on Christian appear in Bundle 2. Super, super sexy matches all around!
Holy shit on a cracker! I just enjoyed the profound pleasure of watching one of Jonny Firestorm’s new releases, just in time to treat yourself for Black Friday. Squirreled away in Bundle #2 is a dazzlingly sexy 2-on-1 match, pitting Jonny and heel protege (!?) Kip Sorell executing the sexiest Grindr hookup in history with Christian Taylor.
“You look a little different on your Grindr profile, I’m not going to lie,” Jonny says when Christian steps into the ring with them. Can someone please, please screenshot me Christian’s Grindr profile? Because I’m not sure what that means, because…fuuuuuck… he is as sexy as he’s ever been, as far as I’m concerned. He’s got a 5 o’clock shadow that’s making me feel all sorts of new things about him. And he absolutely TOWERS over Jonny and Kip. I don’t think I’d ever quite realized how short Kip is, or perhaps how tall Christian is, until now, and the contrast is outrageously sexy.
This is a total squash (buyer beware, if that’s not what you’re shopping for). But fuck, the intensity remains super high throughout the entire 29 minutes. Apparently Jonny has handpicked Kip to be his new heel protege, and fuck it all if I’m suddenly convinced that that HAS to happen! I’ve honestly never seriously considered Kip’s heel turn potential until this moment, but put Jonny’s masterful hands on the task, and fuck… of COURSE devastatingly hot Kip would make a sizzling pretty boy heel!
They double-team Christian almost the entire time, and it’s gorgeous and absolutely artful. “I think you had something different in mind when I said my partner and I were looking for a threesome,” Jonny jokes. Oh fucking damn, Christian answered a Grindr call for a threesome, and showed up for this!? So many reasons to stay diligent on Grindr, my friends!
Every double-team hold is homoerotic sculpture. The mixture of the three different super sexy bodies turns me on harder and harder each moment of the match. One of my favorite moments is relatively early on, while Christian is still screaming and writhing and begging a lot. Jonny has tied his wrists behind his back, for absolutely no good reason other than increase Christian’s terror. Jonny rolls him into face-to-crotch headscissors and smothers him, burying his face in the legendary bulge and keeping him there with a handle on his hair. At the same time, Kip grabs him by the ankles and shoves the ball of his foot up Christian’s ass. Fuck me, I’ve got to push pause and rewind.
“Are you worthy to be our third,” Jonny asks, now with Christian smothering in Kip’s face-to-crotch, while Jonny tortures his back in a crab variation. “Yes. YES!” Christian screams, and I’m not quite sure if it’s begging for reprieve, or his desperation to join this threesome in earnest. I like to think it’s the latter. “Do you think you’re worthy,” Jonny demands. “Because all you do is whine like a fucking bitch!”
I’m so excited to see Kip warm up to heeling, torturing Christian’s nipples, throttling Christian’s cock, and smiling in delight as he does it. There’s this spontaneous moment where Jonny is pitching and in control, and Kip is taking a quick breather, admiring the scene or total humiliation in front of him, when Kip seems to be unable to restrain himself from leaning over and landing a cracking slap across Christian’s tortured, handsomed, hirsuite face. Damn, Kip, I am buying this!!!
Lovely, LOVELY action from all three veterans of my homoerotic wrestling fantasies. The dynamic duo heels leave Christian tied up, hanging from the ropes, passed out from pain. “Let’s go get a bite to eat, and we’ll come back for him later,” Jonny grins as the climb through the ropes. Fuck, yes. Best Grindr hookup EVER!
I get Rocky Sparks, in his new release, Glamour Shoot 1: Immediate Gratification. “I’ve got a job to do,” he explains to Dio Characi. “I’m just serious about photography,” he claims, even when Dio suggests that perhaps Rocky had other things in mind when he asked to take his picture. “You know what would really make this great, though? Some oil. I want to see you glisten.” Fuck. I really, really get that.
Dio’s recent journey with BG East has just gotten hotter and hotter, and I’m here for it. He was sexy as fuck as a punishment slut in Hunkbash 27. Then he nearly burned the ring down taking on a living legend in front of a live audience in Wrestlefest 4. So I’m just a little shocked to be saying that he’s the sexiest yet in the devastatingly hot, intimately private moments with an overtly creeping Rocky.
In a stroke of pure genius, BG East has uploaded to the Arena that actual Polaroids taken during the match. The camera fucking LOVES Dio, nearly as much as I do! And I love that he calls bullshit on Rocky for pretending NOT to be aching to get worked over by him. Shut the FUCK up, Rocky, because that wasn’t believable for a second.
I feel like Dio should sell tickets for everyone who’d pay a whole lot of cash to get pec smothered, the way he does to Rocky. And bearhugged. And liplocked. Absolutely everything he does to Rocky is clearly Rocky’s dream come true. And again, I say, I get Rocky soooo much.
This isn’t competitive, though there’s plenty of super hot wrestling holds. I mean, Rocky keeps threatening to make Dio work for it, but fuuuuck, honestly? He barely makes Dio break a sweat. I, on the other hand, am sweating SOOO much by the time Dio is grinding his crotch into Rocky’s face and sucking on his nipples until he makes him cum.
For those who are more familiar with Dio’s personality from his social media presence, we get a much better look of that in this match. And you can tell his cold, sneering, nasty domination is his strong suit. Can someone, please, buy Dio a planre ticket to the States several times a year, so that we can get him in front of the BG East cameras a lot more often?!
Wrestlefest 4 gave me my first glimpse of Nathan FX, in his public battle with Top Heel Kayden Keller. Technically, that isn’t true, because I’ve “glimpsed” him wrestling for other companies, I’m pretty sure, but only in promo photos. I’d never seen him wrestle, though. Within 30 seconds of him showing up to the ring, I’m wanting to see him get creamed. “It’s time you learned, baby,” FX shouts and points a threatening finger at Kayden, hopping around in American flag long shorts. A babyface rookie that cocky, calling out BGE’s reigning Top Heel, to the ecstatic adulation of the bevy of babyface boosters at ringside, is just too naive for me to stand it. But then FX rips off his tear-away long shorts, to reveal equally patriotic, but significantly more tiny briefs underneath, and I’m recalculating him. The pretty boy showed up in tear-away shorts, clearly planning all along on inflaming the exuberance of the babyfaces with his audacity and soft core strip tease?! Hm. Okay then. The lovely, lean rookie with the bad bleach job has me intrigued!
Kayden is classically, thoroughly, essentially Kayden in this match. Playing against the snarling, jeering babyfaces trying to crawl under his skin, and playing to his heel buddies on the other side of the ring, clearly brings out his Kayden-ness. Not waiting for a bell, he kicks FX in the gut and bulldogs the pretty boy, pretty much knocking the rookie out momentarily, about 15 seconds later. “Yeah, he really looks amazing,” the sinister, snarling heel taunts the protesting babyface bench, dragging his opponent’s barely responsive body up and slamming the star spangled rookie down in a gut buster. The babyfaces are on their feet, threatening pandemonium, slapping the ring apron to rouse their champ, pleading with him to come-to and put up a fight. “Listen to them,” Kayden taunts his prey, snapping his crushing, gorgeous legs around the bottle-blond head. “They’re counting on you,” he laughs mockingly.
If you know Kayden’s catalog even half as intimately as I do, then you are not surprised to learn that FX manages some super sweet, super sexy reversals of fortune on the raging heel. I often wonder whether Kayden voluntarily allows this to happen, because he gets off even harder on digging back from a deficit and plowing a once hopeful opponent into dust. In this case, FX has clearly had enough humiliation and kicks Kayden in the balls. With the hot heel bent over, that much easier for FX to rattle his cage convincingly with a sharp, seriously nasty flying knee strike to the face, before executing a brutal tit-for-tat revenge bulldog. Woah! I see you there, rookie. FX did NOT sign up to be Kayden’s punching bag, and I’m very much into that fierceness.
This is Wrestlefest, so the shit goes off the rails often and wildly. From the babyface bench, Brazilian heartthrob Dio Characi (see my post from yesterday for his contribution to this festival of homoerotic wrestling) pops up and grabs Kayden by the ankle when the heel is bouncing off the ropes to clothesline his dazed prey, making Kayden land face first on the mat. Oh. Fuck. Yes. You can literally see the steam rising off of the back of Kayden’s neck, he is so fucking pissed off. He dives outside the ring and shoves a finger in Dio’s face, and I’m pretty convinced this is a half a second away from turning into one huge bitter melee (speaking of which, where can I put in my order for a reboot of the orgiastic brilliance of Battle R-Oil from Wrestlefest 1?!?). Despite the heel bench egging Kayden on, the Top Heel executes a superhuman feat of self-control and climbs back in the ring. Oh, but he promises that he’s got a score to settle with the Brazilian babyface beefcake, and I’ll donate a kidney for a front row seat to THAT sequel. Kayden brings a chair into the ring to beat the living shit out of FX and repeatedly, REPEATEDLY piledrives the All-American doe-in-the-headlights into oblivion.
Wrestlelfest 4 sets up a long-awaited (by me) tipping point. On the one hand, Kayden has never been more Kaydeny, and it’s exactly his Kaydenness that has earned the hot hunk the title of Top Heel for FIVE years in a row! On the other hand, the second half of Wrestlefest 4 features the legendary heel himself, Jonny Firestorm, possibly nastier, more brutal, and more sadistic than I think I’ve ever seen him. So riddle me this, wrestling fans, who is the frontrunner to earn the title of Top Heel for 2022!? Fuck… what a choice. Honestly, I cannot, at this moment, say who it is I’d vote for, although I’m tempted to say that the one who literally bit his babyface opponent’s big, beautiful balls in front of a live audience might have the edge (?).
And finally, let me be super late to the party in welcoming Nathan FX to the BG East fold. I was not expecting the incredibly moving sell, and the capacity for barges full of suffering to get dumped on such a lean, untested, outmatched rookie like this. Fuck, I’m shedding a tear over here in sympathy pains for FX’s breathless writhing, wailing, and weeping! Even though I was initially rolling my eyes, I’m actually thrilled that he came in that hot and bothered to start this match, flexing his cute guns, shaking his lean, red-white-and-blue ass to the roaring approval of the babyface bench. He’s tougher than he looks, and he’s got a sensational range with nuance and pathos. I vote that he show up next in HairStakes 2, because I will hate on him even less once the bottle blond his sheared off. In the meantime, well played, rookie. Well played.
One of my regular rants is about how much I enjoy homoerotic wrestling in front of a live audience. From the classic public events BG East filmed many years ago, to the more recent Wrestlefest matches, recorded in front of an audience of their wrestling peers, there’s something spontaneous and extra intense about wrestlers going full throttle on each other in front of others. I had the honor of writing the match descriptions for the newly released Wrestlefest 4, because, frankly, I elbowed and shoved my way to the front of the line of writers this time to insist on getting the first glimpse of these two fabulous matches. Both matches were very satisfying, for all of the reasons that I’ve mentioned concerning the extra adrenaline rush of a live audience, but also because the wrestling is just so fucking sexy! For this post, I want to pour a little love on Jonny Firestorm and Dio Characi, and the rich cast of characters at ringside who made their match so… interactive.
It’s impossible for me to overemphasize how much I am turned on by Dio. What felt like a near miss in his debut match, is an absolute bullseye when he climbs into the ring with Jonny. Just objectively, the Brazilian bomber is just so fucking sexy! He’s the paradigmatic babyface, with an adorable face, beautiful even, stacked almost improbably on top of a fucking outrageously sexy body! BG East lists him at 6′ even, but he looks even taller, particularly as he towers over a half a foot taller than fireplug Jonny. There’s a lot to take in on Dio’s bod, from his sweet, round pecs and his hot, hot six-pack abs. But I go a little light-headed whenever I get a serious glimpse of his astonishingly sexy ass. I literally stood up and cheered when Jonny peeled the Brazilian’s trunks off, leaving an unobstructed view of those glorious glutes hugged snugly by a brave, brave little thong.
Whereas Dio brings the shiny and new to this match, Jonny brings the legitimacy of a legend. This is Jonny’s second Wrestlefest, and mind you, Wrestlefest 3 was released well over a decade ago. Jonny has been heeling, day in and day out, the whole time, and was already approaching legendary status well before Wrestlefest 2. I’m still a little astonished he and Kayden can be in the same room together, because the sense of something dangerously unsettled is palpable, as the reigning, back-to-back, multiple Top Heel awardee Kayden watches the talents and terror of a mentor who was perfecting the craft well before the first BG East year-end besties were ever handed out. Jonny’s beefy, hairy, and looking like a badass brute, which is the absolute perfect complement to cherubic playgirl bunny Dio.
The action is intense and brutal. As you might imagine, Jonny is downright diabolical, and having a couple of heel proteges at ringside certainly seems to bring out a little extra sadism and a little devilish gleam in Jonny’s eyes as he brutalizes the Brazilian babyface beauty. When he plants Dio in a tree of woe, I knew there was something magical about to happen. I had NO idea that magic would include Jonny, literally, chomping down on Dio’s huge, vulnerable bulge! Fuck, I wouldn’t brush my teeth for a week, to savor that!
While this is a babyface beatdown, this is not a squash. Dio is a fierce mother fucker, and I love him for that. He turns the tables several times on the bulldozing heel, and I buy every single one of them. A hugely muscled bearhug and a gorgeously savored OTK backbreaker demonstrate convincingly that Dio is a beast, and he came to play. But woah, the torture rack?! Parading Jonny-fucking-Firestorm around like a chump on his shoulders, wringing him out in front of the bench of babyface boosters drowning a wailing Jonny with taunts?!? Sweet!
The wrestler-audience does their job, keeping it live, fresh, and intense with the guarantee that somebody is going to get ultimately and publicly humiliated. I love the spontaneous taunts and cheers, the pleading with Dio to hold out against Jonny’s machinations, the jumping up to land a few gratuitous, completely illegal blows of their own when the opportunity “presents itself.” I’m registering exactly two complaints about the audience, though. Complaint #1: What… THE FUCK… is Freddy Campbell doing on the heel bench!? I mean, I realize that he’s Ash’s boy toy and all, but the doe-eyed pretty boy has GOT to be in line for jobber of the year at this point, and slipping him onto the heel bench, even with his badass boyfriend protecting him, just seems like a miscast. Complaint #2: Will someone PLEASE take your sock off and shove it down Forrest Taylor’s throat!?! Dude, he does not shut up, and I almost can’t quite suspend my disbelief enough to wrap my head around how Jonny didn’t drag him by his lumberjack beard into the ring and beat the living shit of him right next to Dio. Hell, I’m a little awestruck that one of the other babyfaces didn’t get fed up with Forrest’s over-exuberant work on the sidelines and pummel the pretty boy themselves. If there was ever a jobber gagging for a beatdown, it was Forrest that day on the babyface bench at Wrestlefest 4.
I loved this match, and I’m proud to have been honored with the opportunity to write the match description!
It may not have looked like it, but I’ve been pretty damn busy when it comes to exercising my homoerotic wrestling imagination. I’ve authored a few BG East match descriptions for their not new releases. AR and I have been exploring just how up close and personal it can get when we combine my prose and his graphic art, mixed together with a shared passion for homoerotic wrestling, and BG East, in particular (more on that later). And in that vain, I’ve been fishing more of my old archived homoerotic wrestling fiction out of the old, defunct Sidelineland Stories archives and uploading them to the Sidelineland Stories Reboot.
It’s not like BG East doesn’t produce enough blindingly hot wrestling fare to satisfy me, but knowing how out of control my imagination gets, it should come as little to surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I authored my own fan fiction to explore BG East matches that never were. The first match explores the corporate intrigue and espionage that I always imagined was going on between competing homoerotic wrestling companies. This was after Rio Garza had started wrestling with BG East, but then went to Rock Hard Wrestling, and before Z-Man had done the reverse. The tag team match featured those two babyface beauties, facing off against my personal dream team, Mitch Colby and Derek DaSilva.
I also rebooted the story of a fitness model who got in way over his head wrestling for BG East, getting schooled hard by Mitch (yeah, this was deep, deep in my infatuation with Mitch phase). I enjoyed “recruiting” someone new to the BG East universe, and played heavily off of the Contract Series that was still going hot and heavy around then.
The third match I just migrated over to the new archives was the sequel to James Dawson’s tragic contract negotiations with BG East, in which the ripped, gorgeous muscle hunk next had to square off against the bulldozer Joe Robbins.
The fourth old match you can now find in the new archives was another dream combination that, sadly, was never to be IRL. Brad Rochelle and Mitch Colby squared off in that wrestling fantasy, ticking all the boxes of babyface beauties I go weak in the knees for.
And the final match I migrated in this genre (for now) was a super clever little piece that co-author Metellus and worked on, flipping scripts and putting a literal underwear model in the BG East ring against Enforcer, and discovering that not all underwear models are “just” underwear models.
All of these BG East-inspired fantasies have been dovetailing into some really exciting works that AR and I are doing, similarly finding angles and wrestlers that would otherwise just not find their way in front of a BG East camera for real, but who, nevertheless, make for sensationally sexy homoerotic wrestling fantasies in our imaginations. More on that to come soon, I hope!
Sidelineland 