As a lover of expressive language, I tend to hold contempt for text-talk (smh), but this tidbit I recently ran across leaves me with nothing to say except for “TMI.”  It was the headline “MMA fighter sues sex shop over burnt penis” that sucked me in, along with an arousing photo of said MMA fighter, Michael Waylon Lowe.

Michael Waylon Lowe: 32 y/o, 5’7″, 145 lbs., 14-4
So the gist of this story as best I can tell from reading it multiple times on different sites (because it’s a little unbelievable and hilariously/tragically salacious) is that this hard-bodied fight machine was playing the part of the hard-bodied sex machine with his fiance’ (who has no penis, sadly), when during an intermission, his cock began to burn and swell up to alarming proportions.
Just let me be clear.  This sounds like serious shit.  There’s a bit of tongue in cheek to a lot of the online coverage of Lowe’s lawsuit (I mean, his cock swelled to alarming proportions during sex… please), but if even half of his injuries are real, he deserves a healthy dose of sympathy and some serious respect for publicizing these details in his bid for a monetary settlement for his pain and suffering.
But there’s just something too provocative about the alluring concoction of details that compose this story.  Juxtapose a ripped, handsome MMA fighter and the details of his application of sex gel and my one-track mind leaves behind the potential merits of Michael Waylon Lowe’s claims against Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel.  Instead, I’m helplessly left to imagine what a far, far better world it would be if MMA competition always involved “pleasure balm” (not the kind that leaves you permanently scarred and dysfunctional, though).
I like the intensity of MMA competition.  I don’t watch it often, but when I do, I’m stoked hard and breathless right quick.  There’s a powerful eroticism to the element of danger, of two ripped, conditioned, highly trained combatants using their bodies to hammer, choke, or rip each other apart.  It’s an element that I miss when homoerotic wrestling is too playful, silly, or slapstick.  I like stakes, tension, and competitive aggression.
Lorenzo Lowe (no known relation to Michael Waylon Lowe) gets tortured by MMA fighter Eli Black
Davie Lowe (no known relation to Michael Waylon Lowe or Lorenzo Lowe) suffers in oil beneath the muscles of Terry Reed.
I also like explicitly homoerotic content, with two wrestlers above-the-table turned on by one another.  I think the sweet spot for me typically resides when these two elements (competitive intensity and explicit homoeroticism) are perfectly balanced.  If the intensity and competitive spirit are lacking, the hottest bodies in the most explicitly erotic circumstances can sort me out, but they don’t hit me where I really live.  And as I said, I don’t often watch MMA for the same reason (along with frequent homophobic ventures of prominent MMA personalities).  All physical aggression and combat can sort me out, but I’m typically providing some erotic backstory in my own imagination to connect all the dots that truly entertain me.
Hope you’re back to full function soon, Mr. Lowe
Back to Mr. Lowe’s burnt and disfigured penis, though.  Fuck, that sucks.  If you’ve had similar results from using Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel, let us know.  Play safe, fight hard, and keep fucking!

Bard’s Pilgrim Way

Club Paradise – Cambridge, MA

Where I come from, gay clubs tend to come and go like the tide. They may stay in the same location but change names and genres. They may keep the same name but move around the neighborhood. I don’t know if Boston is like that, so I can’t really say if the gay club Paradise in Cambridge may be the same venue where BG East shot their Paradise oil wrestling series. But while I’m working in the area, as one stop on my BGE pilgrimage, I took a stroll down Mass Ave and snapped these shots of Paradise today.

Like I said, I don’t know if this is the venue where BGE’s Paradise series was shot, but I get a little aroused just thinking about. The first Paradise tape was released back in 1989. All four tapes in the Paradise collection feature ripped, beautiful BGE boys getting oiled up and cheered on by a raging crowd of horny gay men as the studs grapple and slide all over each other on the dance floor.

Terry Reed brutalizes Dave Lowe – BG East’s Paradise 2
Regular readers already know what I have to say about much of this: 1) Homoerotic wrestling in front of a live audience is an obsession of mine lately. When the crowd gets into the action, it ups the eroticism for me many times over. The 2 Paradise tapes I own show the eager audience quickly picking their favorites and egging on the soaked studs tossing one another around for their pleasure. When they bark out, almost plaintively, what they want their champion to do to his opponent, it’s like an invisible hand stroking me to watch the wrestlers respond, taking their cues and doing their best to deliver what their worshippers cry out for.
Max Dare gets prepped for battle – BG East’s Paradise 1
And, of course, there’s the oil. Lubricated wrestling is as inherently erotic as it is iconic. For the Paradise matches, one lucky bastard from the audience got to oil down each wrestler and serve as that wrestler’s corner man for his match. Their duties seemed to be primarily focused on the liberal, lingering application of baby oil, shouting encouragement, and rubbing down their shoulders between rounds. This is a job I was made for.
Oil wrestling at Paradise cannot help itself but be a bit gimmicky at times. The setting and circumstances are more performance art than competitive or classic pro. But there are a few Paradise moments that I find extremely provocative and some of my favorite snapshots of homoerotic wrestling. Rev Sutton’s delivery in Paradise 3 against upstanding, clean cut Dave Lowe is truly inspired. Rev embodies a fully fleshed out heel character in an instant. He’s a cocky narcissist. He smirks and rolls his eyes at his opponent for daring to face him. He seems to seriously be ready to get off on dominating bright-eyed Davey. He even throws ice at him contemptuously between rounds, talking shit to his cornerman about what he’s going to do to the chump across from him. Most Paradise matches don’t take this much of a detour into classic pro storytelling, and for that, I absolutely love Rev Sutton in Paradise 3.

Miguel gets revenge on bully Sean – BG East’s Paradise 3

On a completely different end of the spectrum, Miguel Santos’ match against Sean Parker is a charmer. The set-up is that Sean was Miguel’s bully in school, but my, oh my, look at Miguel all grown up now! Both boys are cute as buttons and truly wonderful to watch squeeze and scramble in the oil. The morality tale of bully-gets-his, as cliche as it is, somehow sucks me in, and I find myself wanting to see stunningly gorgeous and now-bigger Miguel get a little revenge. An unexpected bonus in this match is the fact that Miguel has a series of wardrobe malfunctions, and they never quite manage to find the thong that can contain his big, beautiful balls.

Steve Sherman tangles with Wade Cutler – BG East’s Paradise 4

Iconic classic homoerotic wrestler Wade Cutler shows up in both Paradise 3 & 4. In 4, he faces off with Steve Sherman in a prelude to the classic ring battle that has stills popping up in fan sites in every wrestling kink corner of the internet. There’s something gaspworthy, however, about watching muscleboy Wade get his assed kicked like he’s some 98-pound weakling by the bodybuilder (and clearly experienced amateur wrestler) Johnny Rock in Paradise 3. Wade has been a recurring star in many a sweat-soaked homoerotic wrestling dream of mine, and seeing him getting owned by Johnny Rock has fueled many a fond fantasy.

Jay Austin wails on Dennis the Menace – BG East’s Paradise 2
The BG East website no longer lists it, but the Marky Mark and Cruze match in Paradise 4 is another sure fire orgasm for me. One of these days I’ll order Paradise 1 & 2, and I’m sure I’ll find myself happy to own all of these classic glimpses of club wrestling kink. So is Paradise on Mass Ave in Cambridge the same venue that brought us these beautiful works of art? I don’t know, but just the possibility made this stop along my homoerotic wrestling kink pilgrim’s way truly inspiring!