Boys and Balls

I followed organized sports half-heartedly up until the moment that I came out. Prior to that, I tracked college football and basketball and the occasional professional football season. But it was mostly just a perceived obligation of masculinity. I never really cared about the stats or the standings. As soon as I felt liberated from the heterosexist hegemony that equates homophobic contact sports with male virility, I stopped pretending to care. Homoerotic wrestling aside, my interest in the world of sport is seriously weak.
Australian Rugby Player and Gay Rights Advocate, David Pocock 

My ignorance of the world of rugby is filling me with regret as I see headline stories of rugby hotties “coming out” as either gay or allies. Like this fucking muscle monster by the name of David Pocock. All of the juvenile comments to be made about his last name evaporate when I read that this red-headed beast is a seriously outspoken ally of The Gays.

David Pocock and his gargantuan arms.
Seems that Pocock has stated repeatedly and clearly that he’s not getting married until everyone in Australia, including its gay citizens, have that right. Hot damn! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, nothing, but nothing is sexier than a smoking hot muscle body paired with a visionary commitment to social justice.

David Pocock’s gorgeous ass and tree-trunk thighs

Well, nothing could be sexier, unless the aforementioned smoking hot muscle body paired with a visionary commitment to social justice was engaged in some nasty, ferocious, rules-be-damned wrestling. To the best of my knowledge (which is extremely limited), those ridiculously huge legs of David’s have not yet been used to their fullest potential: namely, crushing the skull of some lucky bastard in a forever-and-a-day face-to-crotch headscissors.

David Pocock meditating on social justice at the beach

David comes to my attention (thanks again, Towleroad), on the heels of my growing infatuation with Welsh rugby hunk, Gareth Thomas, coming out as an openly gay muscle beast.

Out Welsh rugby muscle beast, Thomas Gareth

Again, I say, look at the beef on those legs!!! Good God almighty…

Hairy rugby hunk and ally, Ben Cohen

And of course there’s hairy rugby hunk Ben Cohen who’s working full time combatting anti-gay bullying these days. Ben has already worked his way into a fan-inspired homoerotic wrestling match in my imagination, in which he crushes American footballer Tom Brady in a bone crunching hangman.

Rugby player and physique god, Nick Youngquest

And then there’s Australian rugby sexbomb, Nick Youngquest, who has also appeared in my homoerotic wrestling imagination. A collaborator helped me write Nick’s appearance in the Producer’s Ring, marking the beginning of the end of Andrew Stetson’s rise through the ranks of homoerotic wrestling producers in a locked door office mauling. Nick is, yet again, another rugby muscle stud happily committed to advocating for The Gays and, possibly even better, stripping naked to appear in gay rags and inspiring millions of boys’ wet dreams.

I realize that the world of macho sports, much less the world of professional rugby, is not suddenly rushing to embrace the gays. The fact that these rugby gods being openly gay or gay positive is headline news seems to most certainly imply that they are the exception, rather than the rule. Still, I’m suddenly considering whether ore not I need to give my local gay rugby club a new look. These boys are definitely inspiring me to give team sports a second glance.

With a Friend to Call My Own

Towleroad has turned me on to a tweet-flirt that makes my mind spin. Aussie rugby boy of my dreams, the tattooed muscle god who graces the pages of gay rags often, Nick Youngquest has been tweeting back and forth with recently out Brit rugby boy beast, Gareth “Alfie” Thomas. Gareth proposed a naked Twister competition between the two of them (at which point my heart skips a beat). Nick has replied with this ADORABLE photo of the two of them shirtless and chumming in the locker room.

There’s just so much right here. Two gorgeous muscle gods clearly enjoying each other behind the scenes… muscle-on-muscle, tat-on-tat embracing… both boys with their hands at their crotches… and the sweet, unselfconscious ribbing of a seriously sexually secure straight man (Nick) hamming around with an openly gay friend.
Frequent collaborator Swito first pointed me in Nick’s direction. Swito also helped me work up one of my favorite homoerotic wrestling fiction storylines including Nick laying some massive, humiliating destruction on Canadian male model, Andrew Stetson.
Nick stars in many of my personal fantasies, and I get the impression that in real life, he wouldn’t mind. That’s a straight man worth knowing. The fact that he’s an incredibly carved, stunningly handsome, athletic bodybeautiful of iconic proportions is just icing.
Gareth is a fantastic muscle beast worthy of worship as well. He’s the sort of fierce, muscled force of nature that I always think is wasted on heterosexuality. And then, low and behold, Gareth comes out!
I’m not a misogynist, at least not self-consciously so. It’s just that I have to imagine such an incredible body like Gareth’s simply can’t be fully appreciated by a woman. My gut tells me that it takes a man to entirely satisfy and be satisfied by the incredible form of a snarling beast of a rugby player like this. The fact that Gareth has a straight muscle buddy to joke around with (and hang out shirtless with in the locker room) just makes me all kinds of happy!