True Skin

Joe’s guest post yesterday reminded me that there’s new True Blood skin on display, with the launch of season 4 a couple of weeks ago. The beautiful bodies are all wrapped in darkness and shadow, which is slightly frustrating but undeniably appropriate to the genre. No Joe Manganiello beef yet, but the “next ons” look like he’s showing up soon.

Alexander Skarsgård showed up shirtless at the end of the episode, but let’s face it, he’s sex on a stick whether he’s in one of those skin tight shirts or out.  Alexander has been an unstoppable beast in my homoerotic wrestling imagination, and looking this good makes me suspect he will continue to show up there.

A few weeks ago Joe was marveling at the hot piece of meat that is Marshall Allman, a new addition in season 3 and happily returning for season 4. Not to spoil too much for anyone, but Marshall’s particular skill set requires that he strip naked (now that’s a sweet superpower!). Therefore, we’ve come to appreciate that astonishingly round bubble butt of his on more than one happy occasion.

This last episode delivered more Marshall ass in the shadows. When he gave us a profile, though, I have to say those luscious glutes took my breath away!

Sam Trammell’s character also is required by all that is good and holy to strip naked frequently, illustrating what I believe is precisely the firmly convex belly that Joe was so admiring in yesterday’s post. For me, it’s hard to tear my eyes away from those thick, round pecs of his.

And one last glimpse of True Blood gratuitous nakedness, Stephen Moyer’s character had some shirtless hotness and a bare-assed sex scene this week. While I know many of you don’t have my affliction, I still say the naked woman on the bottom here is a major buzz kill. If I put my hand across her face and squint just a little, though, my imagination is capable of rewriting the body on the bottom into one with a very happy cock.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I’m sure. Allan Ball is a genius.

True Skin

Is there anything to be said that hasn’t already been said eloquently?
Squarehippies calls it the best premiere ever. Superhero raves, “Epic and hilarious and damn sexy!” Dlisted says that the season opener of True Blood was produced by his wet dreams.

I say Alan Ball is a genius. Nearly every sweet hunk regular on the show displayed significant amounts of skin. It’s like a hunting ought to be: no wasted flesh. To start with, I need to linger on my favorite scene of the night, and one of my favorite images of all time. 6’4″ Swedish adonis, Alexander Skarsgård, beautifully bare-assed.
The camera was making love to Alexander throughout this episode, which seems appropriate for the 6 hour fuck fest that his character was supposed to have been engaged in. The close ups, the naked rearview, the low-slung leisure wear later on… this man is incredible. The promise of even more explicit scenes to come this season is making me a little numb. He’s also amazing in this character (and not just for the skin). Alexander is skillfully playing both inhumanly cold and calculating with subtle twinges of vulnerability. Alexander has shown up three times in my wrestling fiction, twice in action, but never bare-assed. That must be remedied, and this is just the inspiration to make that happen.
Next, let’s move on to Stephen Moyer and Sam Trammell, co-starring in the homoerotic fantasy of Sam’s character. Pec to pec, this pair is indeed the stuff of fantasies. As Stephen’s character promises that a tandem shower will be a real good time, both Sam and I swoon just a little, entirely convinced. Like Alexander, Stephen and Sam have made an appearance in my wrestling fiction fantasies, appropriately enough in a tag team match taking on werewolf and vampire buddies on Being Human, Russell Tovey and Aidan Turner. There was no tandem shower scene in that fantasy, so True Blood yet again drives my imagination to new heights.
Finally, let’s linger a while on the ridiculously gorgeous bubble butt of Bon Temps favorite muscle slut, played by Ryan Kwanten. In the season premiere, Ryan is unable to get it up for two naked women working him over simultaneously. There’s a whole story line that makes this sensical, but I think a much better story line would be to see Moyer and Trammell show up after their steamy shower and satisfy blueballed Jason like only two big, hard hunks can. And just to round out my homoerotic wrestling fantasy fascination with the golden cast of True Blood, Ryan appears in three of my fictional wrestling matches, starting with losing all self-control as Jamie Bamber bearhugged Ryan into a frot frenzy.
Hell, True Blood is employing the talent so well, the real thing is starting to catch up with my homoerotic imagination! I predict that I will be up to the challenge, though, with more full contact, full frontal wrestling action to come for every single one of the True Blood regulars. And did I mention that Alan Ball is a genius?

True Anticipation

Work is a buzz saw for the next few days, so I’m going to try to pace myself on my posts. Small bites. Less phenomenology. More sane time for me. With that in mind, I want to concisely marvel in anticipation at a new promo shot for the third season of True Blood, which will premiere in a couple of months.

I’m still bitter about the completely unnecessary execution of Mehcad Brook’s character at the end of season 2. The promise of new hotties to come is sweet, though. Sweeter still is Alexander Skarsgård looking hotter than ever.
Thank God for Swedes. Thank God for a little less bleach in Alexander’s hair, also. And while we’re at it, thank God for his gorgeous, giant, muscled body, and in particular those rippled, mile-wide shoulders. As if True Blood requires any more fantasizing, I have been unable to resist writing in several of its stars into my celebrity wrestling fiction. Alexander, of course, has made two appearances, showcasing himself as even stronger and more merciless and sadistic than Eric Northman. Stephen Moyer and Sam Trammell tag teamed for a sweet match that garnered little attention from the fans, but it’s one that I actually enjoy quite a lot. Ryan Kwanten required some personal tutelage in the demanding world of homoerotic wrestling in the Producer’s Ring. What can I say? Alan Ball keeps picking the beef that I’ve got a hankering for. Can…. not… wait… until June 13.
Enough for now.

Eulogy for Eggs

I feel the need to reflect on the season 2 finale of
True Blood, so if you didn’t see it and prefer not to know more about it, you should skip this post.

There was just too much male hotness in that cast. I’m not surprised that they needed to off someone, because frankly, that show has a massive cast and very complicated, multiple plots. One of the recurring hunks was bound to die (it is a vampire story, after all), and I’m sure the writers needed to make room for new characters to be introduced next season.

Moreover, I think they’re having a tough time managing the mind-boggling gorgeousness of their hunky cast. Seriously, there’s been hot male nakedness in at least three out of every four episodes from the start, but the season finale last night gave us little more than Mehcad Brooks and Sam Trammel shirtless.
We saw no more of Ryan Kwanten than the skin-tight sleeveless-t and painted on jeans that he always wears. Alexander Skarsgård was woefully underused. Seeing him thrown to the floor and mounted (plus, plus!), was neutralized by the fact that he was fully clothed and the mounter was a woman (minus, minus…). Stephen Moyer, the weakest link in my opinion, was overdressed throughout the episode. We got a glimpse of Nelsan Ellis, but I’m totally turned off by the “tragic gay” character they’ve written for him so far.
So someone had to die. With Moyer’s weak acting and news that Trammell’s got a new gig, I was so sad to see that it was Mehcad voted of the island. And essentially the ONLY scene in which Mehcad and Ryan Kwanten co-starred was the three seconds it took for Kwanten to off him!? I have a whole different scene in mind starring the two of them, including speedos, lots of sweat, and someone getting tied up in the ropes of a wrestling ring.
It looks like we won’t get to see any more of Eggs in Bon Temps (though, thank God, we got to see everything but full-frontal before he was killed off). My eulogy for him is simple: My sincere prayer is that he’s reincarnated into another HBO series with lot’s of nudity and ass grabbing set in another humid and sweaty climate. The End.