A Surly Story

My recent post about Illinois Congressman Aaron Shock has made me think more about self-hating gays (for some reason). Our history is littered with internalized homophobes fighting against the “creeping gay” in society as mere metaphor for their inability to accept themselves for the cock-loving homos that they, themselves, are. The congressman’s pics from Men’s Health, I noted, give him a pouty, belligerent look as he stares at the camera with a little twist of disgust mingled with loathing. I’m sure I project too far when I say that it seems like he’s just daring the (let’s face it) strongly gay audience for men’s “fitness” magazines to lust after him.
This got me thinking about the male model more generally. It’s certainly not the case that the congressman is the first coverboy to be published looking pouty and put-out.
The slightly raised upper lip, the furrowed brow, even as beautiful model Seth Kuhlmann tugs at his muscle-t shoulder straps to show off his smooth pecs and dessert-like nipple tells a similar story. And I suppose, that’s the mark of a skilled model, in that he tells a story. Delectable sexy skin and an irritated, contemptuous snarl provoke both a closer look and a wonder to know more about what’s going in that beautiful, beautiful head of his.
Tattooed hunks recently featured this astonishingly beautiful muscle boy under the title, “Surly Hunk.” Indeed, perhaps it’s surliness that’s the backstory. Perhaps with a worship-worthy body like that, this fine specimen of gorgeous male beauty spends morning, noon and night fucking anything at all that he wants, leading to late nights that make early morning photoshoots a bit of a chore. Maybe the story here is, sure, he’ll take the paycheck, but he’s not happy with his agent for negotiating a 6:30 am shoot after he’s been the star player in a muscle hunk three way romp all night long.

I think the body-beautiful male model who looks put-out has something to say to my own kink for hot, hunky wrestling. One possible backstory is the “dare” part of that scenario I’m imagining for the congressman. The look could speak to the pre-match stare down, the all-business “just take a look at the physique that’s going to own your ass before we’re done here” posturing. An icy, unflinching, nearly zero affect (with just traces of something unnamed boiling underneath the surface) gaze is classic for homoerotic wrestling. Perhaps what catches my eye in the “surly” fitness boy pose is an echo of the nose-to-nose stare down before two barely clad gladiators proceed to use only their bodies to pry, pound, crunch and crush one another until one man concedes that despite all of his earlier bluster, he is undeniably inferior to the studly victor flexing overtop of him.

It’s art, at it’s core, though, so an equally powerful read of the scowling muscle hunk model emerges from a self-hating motif. “I know you lust for me, and I despise you for it” could just as easily be evoked. I strongly suspect that male models have to make some peace (of some sort) with the inescapable fact that they will be orgasm-fuel for gay boys across the globe. Indeed, some of the same boys who do “surly” so well also model in clearly gay-themed campaigns for designer underwear (and there’s no self-respecting straight boy who’s combing through magazines looking for a hot guy tugging at his designer underwear in order to get inspiration for what he should wear…. expect for, perhaps, the aforementioned congressman). But speaking of the congressman, when you put out an explicitly gay-unfriendly political platform and pander to moneybags with a penchant for demonizing the gays, AND you oil up your pecs and pose shirtless in “Men’s Health,” then I’m feeling a little more confident about the backstory I’m going to read into that work of art.

One thought on “A Surly Story

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